Chapter 18
SULLIVAN
The music kept looping, the same instrumental swells of a string quartet providing a backdrop to the increasing rustles and murmurs of a crowd that was growing restless behind us. This wasn’t the walk-down-the-aisle song—whatever it was called.
It was the other type of music, the we’re-stalling tunes. I checked my phone again, but there was still nothing.
Bree nudged my knee. “You’re going to wear a groove into your screen if you keep doing that.”
“I’m fine.”
“That’s the third time you’ve said that in the last five minutes.”
I slid the phone into my jacket pocket and breathed through the rising panic. “It’s this music. Why does it have to keep repeating? It makes it feel like something is wrong.”
She tilted her head, her gaze soft and understanding on mine. “Stop worrying. I’m sure everything is fine.”
I shot her a look, but she just smiled back. When I turned to glance at the doors over my shoulder again, my stomach tightened. The groom was still nowhere to be seen and he definitely should’ve been here by now, standing up at the altar.
“Neil is probably just tied up,” I said, not really sure why I was voicing it out loud.
All I knew was that I had a really fucking bad feeling about it and that maybe verbalizing my thoughts would help me realize I was suffering from a case of brother-of-the-bride jitters.
“He’s always so damn busy, and don’t get me wrong, I understand busy, but you’d think that on his wedding day, he’d turn his goddamn work phone off. ”
“You would think that.” Her mouth twisted into a grimace. “I won’t lie to you. I’m not this guy’s biggest fan and I’ve never even met him, but he’s probably just running a bit late.”
“Yeah. I’m not his biggest fan either, but Liana chose him.
” I said it more to myself than to her, trying to think of something—anything—that would ease the tension in my shoulders and stop me from cracking a few teeth from having my jaw clenched so hard.
“She probably knows what’s keeping him. I’m sure she does. ”
Bree leaned a little closer. “Exactly. See? Crisis solved.”
Except my jaw wouldn’t unclench no matter what I tried. People shuffled in the pews behind us. There were a few coughs, whispers, and a baby fussing somewhere to the left.
I checked my watch again. “This is really cutting it close.”
“Okay,” Bree said gently. “Maybe he’s just stuck in traffic.”
“He knows the timeline,” I ground out. “What kind of man doesn’t account for traffic on his fucking wedding day?”
“Easy,” she said. “You’re in a church and you’re cussing, and glaring.”
“I’m not glaring.”
“You’re absolutely glaring.”
I opened my mouth to argue when I noticed Father Donnelly standing at the edge of the pew, his hands folded calmly but his smile tight. The tension in my muscles coiled to the breaking point.
“Sullivan,” he said quietly. “May I have a quick word?”
I stood, thankful that there was enough space that I could move closer to him without brushing past a dozen people first. Father Donnelly didn’t make me wait when I reached him, simply lowering his voice.
“We’ve got the O’Malley baptism right after this, so we really need to get this show on the road. Do you have any idea what the hold-up is?”
“I’m afraid not,” I said, doing my utmost best to keep calm. “I’ll find out, though.”
“Thank you,” he said. “God is patient, but the O’Malleys are not.”
“I understand, Father. I’ll handle it.”
He nodded once and moved away. Bree was watching him go when I rejoined her, worry glistening in her eyes when they met mine. “That seemed ominous.”
“It’s fine.”
She didn’t buy it, but she reached out anyway, her hand wrapping gently around my forearm. “Do you want me to check on Liana?”
The offer caught me off guard, but while I appreciated it, I shook my head. It was sweet of her to ask, and it made me realize again that she genuinely cared about my sister, which made me like her even more, but this wasn’t something I could pawn off on a friend. “Thank you, really, but I’ll go.”
“Okay.” Her thumb brushed once, the movement small, but steady against my sleeve. “I’ll be right here.”
I nodded, pulling my phone out again as I stepped into the aisle. There was still nothing, but I was done waiting. Opening my messaging app, I scrolled to Neil’s contact and fired off a quick text.
Me: Where are you?
I sent it as I walked toward the back, past curious looks and whispered questions. My phone remained still in my hand, not buzzing or chiming for my entire march up the aisle. Up the narrow staircase off the foyer, I reached a carpeted hallway and Liana’s dressing room door came into view.
As I approached it, my phone finally buzzed. I stopped walking immediately. Then my heart dropped straight out of my ass when I saw the reply I’d gotten from him.
Neil Grantham: I can’t do this. Tell Liana I’m sorry.
That was it. He hadn’t even bothered to give a reason, just a short, cowardly Oopsie, I’m out, bro. I couldn’t fucking stand it, but I kept staring at the screen, waiting for more, and yet, nothing came.
My hands went cold, but here it was, the moment my gut had been warning me about. I finally looked up at the dressing-room door again, not sure how I was going to walk through it and break my little sister’s heart, but drawing it out any longer was just cruel.
Somewhere behind that worn wooden panel, Liana was waiting for the news that Neil had arrived, and I was the lucky winner who got to tell her that he wasn’t coming.
I’d never detested anyone as much as I did him in that moment, but I still lifted my fist and knocked, my heart in my throat and murder on my mind.
“Come in,” she called from the other side of the door and I inhaled a deep breath—not that it helped quell the violence rising from parts of my soul I hadn’t even realized I possessed.
Liana turned when I walked in, her face already lit up, nervously smiling like she thought I was there to tell her it was time.
“Is he ready?” she asked. “Because Father Donnelly keeps hovering and—” She cut herself off when her gaze swept across my face, the smile faltering immediately. “Sullivan, what’s wrong?”
I closed the door behind me, stepping into a room that smelled like hairspray, flowers, and something sweet I couldn’t place. Liana looked radiant and happy, her dress perfectly fitted and her strawberry blonde hair cascading in soft curls around her shoulders.
“You look gorgeous,” I said, my voice hoarse as my heart broke because of what I was about to do to her. “Seriously, sis. You’re stunning today.”
“Thanks,” she said, softer now, concern starting to furrow her brow. “What happened?”
I pulled my phone out of my pocket, my hand shaking just enough to piss me off as I unlocked the screen and held it out to her. “Neil texted me.”
“Texted you?” She frowned. “Why would he—”
“He’s not coming, Liana.” I took her hand and put the phone in it, gently wrapping her fingers around it. I knew her well enough to know she’d need the proof to make it feel real. “I’m so, so sorry, but he’s not marrying you today.”
Her frown deepened in obvious confusion, but she finally glanced down at the screen, reading the text waiting for her on it. “This isn’t funny.”
“I know.”
“Sullivan.” She looked up at me, her eyes sharp now and wider, her cheeks paling as she shook her head. “This is not funny.”
“I know,” I repeated, taking a page out of Bree’s book and making my voice a little gentler. “I know it’s not funny, Lee. But it is true. Neil is not on his way here, he’s not coming, and you’re not getting married today.”
I spelled it all out for her, slowly enough that I hoped she was able to hear me and understand what I was saying. God, what am I even thinking? I don’t even understand this and I don’t even fucking like the guy.
She shook her head, a slightly hysterical little laugh breaking loose. “Okay. Okay. He’s panicking. He’s just being dramatic. He always does this right before the big stuff.”
“He’s not in the church,” I said.
Her head shook again. “He’s probably outside.”
“He’s not,” I said firmly. “When I passed through the lobby on my way up, I looked out the window. He’s not there.”
She stared at me like I’d just spoken in Swahili, her voice finally wobbling a little as her shoulders fell. “No. No. He wouldn’t do this. He wouldn’t. He loves me, Sullivan.”
I swallowed. “I’m sorry.”
Her face crumpled so fast, it knocked the air out of my lungs. “No, but… no. Why? He wouldn’t send this to you. He’d tell me. He promised he’d never blindside me.”
“I know,” I said uselessly. “I know, Leelah, but he did it anyway.”
Her hands started shaking when I used the nickname. Her friends had called her that when they’d been in kindergarten and some of them hadn’t been able to pronounce her name yet. I never used it unless I was really trying to be gentle. To remind her of who she was and where she came from.
Blinking rapidly, she started pacing. Once. Twice. Then she came racing back to me. “I need to talk to him, Sull. Call him.”
“I tried. Earlier, I tried.”
“Call him again.”
I nodded, putting the phone on speaker, but it went straight to voicemail. Her breaths started coming faster. “Okay. Okay. So he’s just… gone?”
I didn’t answer, but I did catch when she started dropping like her legs had given out. Crushing her to me, I led her over to a chair and lowered her carefully into it. Her hands came up to her face immediately, and then she was sobbing, the sounds loud, broken, uncontained.
“I did everything right,” she cried. “I did everything right. I didn’t push. I didn’t rush him. I waited. Every time he let me down, I smiled. I made excuses for him.”
I knelt in front of her, pulling her half into my arms. She clutched my jacket like it was the only thing keeping her upright. “I don’t know what to do. What am I supposed to do now, Sull? There’s a whole congregation full of people down there… a reception…”