Chapter 25
brEE
Since my biggest regret after that night we’d spent together in the hotel had been not taking my time with him the way I wanted to, I refused to make the same mistake.
My heart was going nuts against my ribs, my body on edge as he kissed me like he wanted me to know how much he’d been wanting to do it again ever since.
And I did know.
Because I’d been having the same problem.
Try as I might, I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about what it had felt like to have his lips against mine. I hadn’t been able to forget the sensation of him moving inside me or how thoroughly he’d made me forget that the world outside even existed.
The man had put a spell on my body that night and it was one it had been desperate to fall under again ever since. So much so that I’d been dreaming about it. About him. Without fail, I’d woken up hot and bothered, and not a single one of my efforts had been good enough to relieve the pressure.
“God, Bree,” he whispered into my mouth as we stumbled together into my room, his torso hard and hot against me. “Do you have any idea how much I want you?”
“About as much as I want you?” I murmured, dipping my fingertips beneath the towel just above his ass.
He let out a dark, husky chuckle. “More. I guarantee it.”
The admission made my pulse trip and heat soak my panties, and I caught his cheek in one of my hands, breaking the kiss for just long enough that he could see me shake my head. “I doubt it, but it’s not just that either, is it?”
For a beat, he just stared back at me. Then he smiled and lowered his head closer to mine once more. “No, but we don’t have to talk about that right now.”
“Deal.” Our mouths crashed together again and I tugged at the knot holding the towel around his hips, instantly sending it to floor.
He let out a low groan, sending me a curious look as I gently pushed his shoulders. It wasn’t hard enough to make him fall backward onto the bed, but he sat down anyway, then lay back, his gaze still questioning on mine.
I held it intently. For now. Knowing that once I finally let myself look anywhere else, it was going to be a while before I even took a glimpse at his eyes again. Beautiful as they were.
“Just let me,” I said softly, not asking but not really telling either.
It was up to him, and for a split second, he didn’t seem to be sure of how to respond, but then he nodded and my heart skipped a few beats in my chest. “Grab a pillow. You may want to make yourself comfortable for this. It could take a while.”
I heard him suck in a sharp but quiet breath. He shoved one of my pillows under his head and watched as I sat down between his ankles on the mattress. Pushing my hair behind my ears, I ran my gaze from his face to the strong column of his neck.
I traced the curve of it to his shoulders with my eyes before following with my fingertips, just grazing them across his skin. Sullivan’s gaze was so intense, it almost felt like a caress as he watched me, but I relished every inch of him that same way.
His broad chest, the lean bulges of muscle in his biceps, and the cords that ran along his forearms to his hands. Finally, I let myself look at his abs, that same stack that had made me all flustered in his office that day with the paper gown, and the memory brought a smile to my lips.
“This funny to you?” he asked, his voice a little more ragged and husky than usual. “Because it’s fucking killing me.”
“It’s not funny,” I replied quietly, glancing up at his face and realizing that his features were tighter now.
Almost like he was angry, but I had a feeling it was restraint.
My clit pulsed at the knowledge that this was affecting him the same way it was affecting me, but I breathed through the urge to just put us both out of our misery already.
“I was remembering how I felt when you just suddenly stripped down in front of me.”
A slow smirk spread across his lips. “It might not have been my best moment. I didn’t think about how hard it would be to hide an erection while only wearing a paper fucking gown.”
My breath stalled at the admission. Sure, I’d felt the erection in question when he’d kissed me that very same day, but hearing him talk about it was different. “It gave me a pretty awesome view to appreciate, though.”
He chuckled. “Glad to have been of service.”
I hummed a noncommittal sound before running only the very tips of my fingers along the grooves on his abdomen.
My gaze dropped down. Sullivan Crowne had been genetically blessed in every department, I’d learned, but seeing him now, naked and erect, his shaft curving proudly and almost angrily toward his navel, made me realize that he was perfect freaking everywhere.
So unfair but I wet my lips with my tongue and then bent over, taking him into my mouth without any warning whatsoever. His hips thrust up like he’d had no control over the movement. “Fuck, Bree.”
The words came out on a rough pant and I smiled around his tip, slowly lifting my gaze to his. His eyes were narrowed in a glare, his chest rising and falling fast. I slid a hand up to his sternum, then pushed down and he went with it, lying down. I wrapped my fist around the base of him.
It didn’t last long before he rolled us over, wrenching his cock out of my mouth and putting his head firmly between my legs just a few seconds later.
My clothes disappeared like they’d never even been there to begin with.
It only took all of about ten seconds after that before I was pulling at the thick strands of his hair, writhing against his face while he licked me like I was his last meal.
When he circled my entrance a few times before pushing just the tip of his finger into me, I screamed, my hips bucking. An orgasm was hovering just outside of touching distance and he drove me mad bringing me almost all the way to it, then easing off just for a beat.
“Sullivan,” I whimpered when it happened again, and the next thing I knew, he rose up on his knees, cursed when realized he needed a condom, and then disappeared.
His cock was glistening with wetness all his own when he marched back into the room and rolled the condom on like it’d offended the life out of him. Without a word, he climbed back on the bed with me, lay down on his back, and then pulled me on top of him.
“I’m all yours, Bree,” he murmured as he laced his fingers into my hair and guided my head down closer to his. “Take what you need. I’m right here.”
I sank down on him slowly, kissing him. I started rolling my hips once he’d slid home. He thrust into me from below, his skin dragging across everywhere I needed it inside and out, and I felt myself tumbling toward euphoria as soon as I finally felt him swell deep within my body.
After, the room was quiet in that soft, suspended way it only ever was in the blissful afterglow with him.
The lamp on the nightstand was the only light on, casting everything in a warm, amber glow.
We were still naked, tangled together under the sheets, my leg thrown over his and my cheek pressed to his chest.
His heart was steady beneath my ear, strong and annoyingly calming.
Although something at the back of my mind was already telling me to move, I didn’t.
For just a few minutes, I let myself stay right where I was, not thinking or analyzing.
Just breathing him in, the scent of my soap, clean skin, and something that was distinctly him.
Right now, I could pretend this was simple. That we were just two people unwinding after a few long days spent apart, but my brain, traitor that it was, eventually kicked back on.
This can’t just be a fling.
The thought came fast. Before I could even think about stopping it, but that was probably because it had been lingering just beneath the surface all along.
I shifted slightly against him, my fingers tracing an idle line across his ribs. Immediately, his arm tightened around me. His hand slid up and down my back in slow, soothing strokes.
“What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?” he asked quietly.
“That I don’t want this to be a fling either,” I whispered, terrified, but not willing to lie to myself or to him any longer.
His fingers abruptly stopped stroking, but only for a beat before they started up again. “Okay?”
“What you said at the hotel about not wanting it to mean nothing? That’s true for me too.”
His thumb traced a lazy circle against my spine. “I was hoping you’d say that.”
“I’m serious,” I said, lifting my head to look at him. “This does mean something, and that’s the problem.”
His gaze softened, that fight that was in him the other day when this came up not at all present now. “Because of work.”
“You’re my boss, Sullivan, and you’ve been a pretty darn harsh one. Hospital politics are already a minefield. Adding this?” I gestured vaguely between us. “That’d be like tossing a lit match into it.”
“I know,” he said. “I’m not pretending it’ll be simple, but if you feel the same way I do, there has to be a way to at least try. I’m not asking you to blow up your life, contrary to what you seemed to think the other day.”
I snorted softly. “How generous of you.”
“I mean it,” he said. “We can go slow, Bree. We’ll be careful, and if keeping it on the down-low is what you need, I can do that. I get that’s what it has to be. At least for now.”
I studied his face, looking for pressure or signs of his ego flaring up, but I didn’t see either. Instead, there was only stubborn sincerity. Somehow though, that was worse. Because it meant that he wanted this so much that he wouldn’t even let himself get in the way.
My heart rate sped up and my eyes slid shut as I thought back to that conversation I’d overheard today, the weight of how solidly screwed I would be if I agreed to this fully sinking in. At the same time though, being with him felt too good to ignore.
When it was just the two of us together, he wasn’t the same man he was at the hospital and this guy?
I couldn’t resist him. More than that, I didn’t want to.
I could keep fighting it. I knew that. No one had more willpower than me, and when I really set my mind to something, I stuck with it like white on rice, but this?
Deep down inside, I already knew that fighting would only be a waste of time. A waste I would sorely regret later when I finally decided to listen to my heart.
“Okay,” I said finally. “But if anyone finds out, I’ll deny it.”
His mouth curved. “Wow. No one has ever been ashamed of dating me before.”
“Don’t flatter yourself,” I said. “This is about self-preservation, not shame.”
He chuckled, the sound vibrating in his chest under my cheek. “It’s a novelty, knowing that I’m going to be a dirty little secret, but I have to admit, it does make me want you more.”
I rolled my eyes, but my body betrayed me by relaxing further into his. “Of course, it does.”
“I’m fine with sneaking around,” he said. “It sounds exciting. This is going to be fun”
“Just to be clear,” I said, lifting myself up on one elbow so he had to look into my eyes as I said it. “At work, I don’t know you.”
His eyebrows lifted. “At all?”
“One flirty glance. One peck on the lips and I’m out.”
He made a show of considering it, rocking his head from one side to the other and chewing on the inside of his cheek. “Fine. I’ll behave.”
The glint in his eye ruined the promise completely, but instead of annoying me, it made me laugh. “Uh-huh. I don’t believe that for a second.”
“I’m serious, Bree,” he said, still sliding his hand up and down my back in slow, unhurried movements. “I’m properly motivated. I promise. I’ll be on my best behavior while we’re at work.”
The knot of tension in my chest loosened just a little. This didn’t solve the problem of what would happen when people eventually did find out, and this plan definitely wasn’t safe, but for the first time since leaving that hotel room days ago, I didn’t feel conflicted anymore.
This dangerous, hopeful feeling unfolding in my chest made the risk we were about to take worth it.
Avoiding him these last few days, not speaking to him and not seeing him had grated against the core of my being.
It had felt just plain wrong, but being back in his arms and talking about making it a regular thing felt right.
It felt good.
Honestly, maybe it even felt a little bit like it was meant to be.