Chapter 31
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Sullivan kissed me like he was trying to breathe himself into me, like every unspoken word between us had been waiting right behind his lips and was finally being released. The kiss was fierce enough to steal my balance, but there was also a careful reverence to it that made my chest ache.
He held my face like I was fragile or precious even as his mouth claimed mine with devastating certainty. The rasp of his stubble dragged across my skin as he shifted, deepening the kiss, and the sensation sent a shiver racing down my spine.
It was almost overwhelming, the heat of him, the urgency, and the way he was consuming every inch of space between us. I didn’t fight it at all, just leaning into him and matching his intensity kiss for kiss, breath for breath.
Holding back had stopped being an option with him long ago and especially after the Bahamas. These days, he tasted like home and danger all at once, and at the same time, I knew he was safe. Our situation was difficult, but Sullivan himself?
The only danger he posed was that being with him made me feel things I never thought I’d feel. Things that somehow managed to be simultaneously intoxicating and grounding, making me feel like I could reach up and touch the stars, but he would be there to bring me back down.
My hands reached for him instinctively, gripping the solid planes of his shoulders and sliding up into his hair.
His fingers traced restless paths along my sides, sending sparks dancing across my skin wherever they touched.
The world around us blurred, shrinking until there was nothing but the two of us and the electric pull drawing us closer.
We stumbled backward together, a clumsy tangle of limbs and breathless laughter swallowed by another kiss.
The back of his legs hit the couch and he dropped onto it, taking me with him in a single, fluid motion.
I landed across his lap, straddling him before I could even think about it, our mouths never parting long enough to catch more than a couple of shallow breaths.
The fabric between us suddenly felt like an unbearable barrier.
His hands slid beneath the hem of my shirt, warm palms skimming over my skin and leaving goosebumps in their wake.
My pulse thundered in my ears as I tugged at his shirt, needing to feel him, to close the last inch of distance between us.
When the material finally disappeared, my palms met warm, firm skin that made my stomach flip.
I pressed closer, mashing my chest to his and relishing the steady strength of him beneath my fingertips.
He felt impossibly solid, like carved stone wrapped in warmth.
His arms tightened around me like he never intended to let me go.
The scent of him was clean, familiar, and uniquely Sullivan, and it made my head spin as it filled my lungs. My fingers threaded through his hair, tugging gently as his hands roamed my sides in slow, reverent passes that left heat trailing behind them.
Every touch and every kiss felt like falling and flying at the same time, and I surrendered to it completely, letting him pull me deeper into a moment I never wanted to end.
He cupped my breasts and ran his thumbs along the sensitive skin underneath them, groaning quietly as he broke away from our kisses to bring his lips to one of my nipples.
He sucked it into his mouth, his hot tongue sliding around the hard peak. My head rolled back, my eyes closing on a moan I didn’t even try to swallow.
The pleasure this man could bring to my body would never stop amazing me. My nails dragged from his scalp to his bare back and he let out a low growl in response, releasing my nipple from his mouth to lick and kiss his way up my chest, my throat, and my jaw back to my mouth.
His hands dropped to the waistband of my shorts, trying to roll them off, but the position we were in made it difficult. I lifted myself off him clumsily, but before I could go too far, he wrapped his arms around my hips and scooted forward.
“Fuck this,” he murmured, raking his fingers through my hair as those molten blue eyes caught mine. “I’m taking you to bed. I’m not in the mood to keep fighting with clothes and too little space.”
Before I could even begin to formulate a response, his arms tightened a little more around me and he stood, lifting me up against him. I laughed against his lips, my legs wrapping around his hips as I clung to his shoulders.
He carried me the short distance to my bedroom, lying me down on my bed and hooking his thumbs into my pants. He pulled them off in one clean motion and I kicked them away.
My soaked panties came off next, and then I was completely bared to him.
He shifted off the bed, his eyes roaming along every inch of my exposed skin.
It wasn’t the first time he was seeing me totally naked, but when his eyes finally came all the way back up to mine, it felt like he hadn’t just been looking at my body, instead seeing past all that to the very fiber of my being.
A silent moment passed between us and it was almost like our feelings were tangible, as real as the sweat glistening on our bodies.
Sullivan wanted me. Fully, openly, and in public.
He didn’t want to hide. He wasn’t ashamed or scared, and the very thought that he would claim me for the world to see made my heart beat faster.
The man was a work of art, every toned muscle flexing and releasing with every move he made. That strong jaw clenched with need as our eyes locked together and he reached for me.
I took his hands, our fingers twining tightly together. He lowered himself over me, his knees settling between mine as he claimed my lips for another searing kiss. I wrapped my legs around his hips, still encased in his slacks, moaning at the friction of the material against my aching clit.
“Sullivan.” His name fell from my lips in a quiet whisper that sounded more like a plea.
He reacted immediately, letting go of my hands and rolling to the side. A few seconds later, his belt was undone and he rolled his slacks off while I pushed his boxer-briefs down with them.
With every inch of his beautifully tanned skin on display, I drank him in. He caught me staring, but there was no smirk this time. All I saw on his features was an expression so tender that it made my heart skip again. It didn’t look at all like it was only lust.
This seemed deeper and purer, but I refused to even try to name it, instead just immersing myself in the moment and letting myself feel all those things I shouldn’t have been feeling. He crawled over me again, resting with his knees between my legs as he claimed my lips for a long, slow kiss.
As frenzied as we had been before, he started taking his time now, moving his lips over my neck, to my breasts, and my stomach. I sucked in a breath, my fingers wrapping around his shoulders to bring him back to me.
Immediately complying, he moved back up, eyes never leaving mine.
He reached for a condom in the drawer of my nightstand where he’d stashed some before.
He kept his eyes on mine as he rolled it on.
He took my hands again and in one smooth stroke slid all the way into me.
We both moaned, watching each other’s faces as our fingers tightened around one another.
It had never been quite like this before, but as he thrust into me, my hips rose up to meet him every time, and all the while, our eyes remained locked. Intimacy suddenly got a whole new meaning to me, the term making complete sense for the first time ever.
We moved together in hypnotizing rhythm, climbing higher and higher until my back arched and I clamped down on him, my toes curling and my fingers digging into his hands. Pleasure surged through me and I shuddered, moaning and writhing as the orgasm sent sparks of bliss flowing through my veins.
My climax triggered Sullivan’s and he tensed above me, finding his release on a groan that catapulted me into a series of gentle aftershocks. I held on to him through it all, my eyes closing. I stroked my fingers through his hair in the aftermath.
“That was awesome,” he murmured lazily, and I felt him smile into the crook of my neck. “Ten minutes and we’ll go for round two?”
A soft, breathless laugh came out of me, my head resting against the side of his. “Okay, Superman. Let’s talk in ten minutes.”
“You got it.” We lay there together until we both caught our breath. Then he finally pulled out of me and went to take care of the condom.
When he came back to bed, he pulled me closer to his side, a relaxed grin on his lips. He lay with me like he belonged here, in my bed. With me. Every night.
A comfortable silence fell between us, but even as I heard his breathing evening out, my mind was still whirring. The room was quiet except for the soft hum of the ceiling fan and Sullivan’s steady breathing.
He was sprawled on his stomach, one arm thrown lazily across my waist. I just stared at the ceiling, tracing the faint crack in the plaster above his head and feeling his warm breath ghosting slowly across my ribs.
He slept hard these days when we were together, completely out in a deep, unguarded way that made me think he trusted where he was. Trusted me.
I knew he’d had trouble sleeping before we’d met, and he’d mentioned once or twice that he’d never slept as well as he did when he was with me. That knowledge was what was currently keeping me from drifting off.
Maybe I’m being too hard on him. What’s the worst that can actually happen if I tell people we’re dating?
I snorted softly to myself, already knowing the answer and also knowing it wasn’t the end of the world.
Saint Raphael’s ran on caffeine, gossip, and questionable romantic decisions.
Half the staff there had either dated or hooked up with each other at some point and the other half were either married to someone else or in an active situationship with someone there.
Not me, of course. But that was mostly because I’d only been there just over a year since starting my fellowship and I’d been running at full speed that entire time.
Before him, my social life had basically consisted of collapsing face-first into my pillow after twelve-hour shifts and occasionally remembering to text Ellora back.
Still, people would talk. They’d definitely talk. They’d probably also think I was the enemy, a traitor who’d crawled into bed with the billionaire who was turning their hospital upside down.
I glanced at Sullivan’s sleeping face, the hard lines he carried during the day gone now. This was just him, slightly rumpled, sandy hair falling over his forehead and his mouth parted faintly against the pillow.
This was the man who showed up with flowers and takeout on an ordinary Wednesday. The man who crossed oceans just to be with me without having to hide. The man who would probably burn down the world for his sister without even blinking.
I would have to be a fool to throw away the real affection I had for him just because of what other people thought. Other people who would judge me no matter what. There was always someone ready to hand down a verdict about someone else’s life.
While I couldn’t say I loved Sullivan, the truth curled quietly in my chest, stubborn and impossible to ignore. I didn’t love him yet, but I was already falling hard in that direction and the thought scared the hell out of me.
But those are tomorrow’s problems.
Sullivan shifted in his sleep. I turned toward him, careful not to wake him as I pressed closer until my cheek rested against his chest. I listened to the slow, steady thump of his heartbeat beneath my ear and let myself sink into him.
Curling up against him, I breathed in the clean, familiar scent of his skin and my eyelids finally grew heavy. Tomorrow could deal with judgment, consequences, and complicated realities.
Tonight, I just let myself hold him until I finally fell asleep.