15
THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT
The dynamic between Nate and I had shifted. It was hard to explain. We were still secret friends with benefits but we hung out a lot more together, like a natural flow in our weird little arrangement. It was as if we were dating but we weren’t.
He would pick me up for a late-night drive sometimes. We could drive around for hours, listening to music, chatting and grabbing some food. Other times we got dressed up and hung out at some bars to drink and dance, especially if one of us was having a shitty week. It would always start innocently, then end up in a steamy scenario but now, the sex was different, not predictable, and he sometimes didn’t mind me taking control.
We texted more about our days or sent random gifs. Even the eye contact or his touch was a little different than before, but I wondered if that was me reading too much into it.
Maybe after the incident and the fact that he hurt me, he was being careful, gentler and maybe I wanted to imagine that we were normal, that maybe Nate did do relationships. I would sometimes catch his eyes when we met with Ivy and Jude for more wedding meetings, and I would see a glint in his eyes, mirroring my own, knowing what we shared in private.
It was a few days before Christmas and Nate had invited me to join him running errands for Ivy as she was a little unwell and wanted to rest before she hosted Christmas. Jude was away with work and would fly home Christmas Eve before returning to work in the New Year. That was the perk of most office jobs; we would have the week off between Christmas and New Year, get shit faced and hang out with our loved ones. Only this year was different, Nate was around a lot more. Before it would just be me, Ivy and Jude while Carol and Mark took their annual holiday, seeing in the New Year in another country, always flying out on Boxing Day.
Despite telling me he needed to run errands, Nate dragged me to London's biggest Christmas Market, Winter Wonderland. It was full of stalls, bars, street food, rides and an ice rink. It was the perfect place to pick-up old-fashioned homemade Christmas decorations. Nate revealed yet another side of him; his Christmas spirit. He was like a kid, so excited by all things Christmas. The place was gigantic, packed with people in all corners. We squeezed past the crowds of people as they queued. This wasn’t my idea of fun; Christmas and queuing. However, I didn’t want to miss a chance to spend the day with Nate.
I watched him shimmy his way through the crowd, wearing a tanned trench coat and a navy scarf which I hadn’t seen him in, something different than his usual Armani suit, or naked, but I enjoyed the relaxed, casual Nate the most.
He had still made an effort of course, his hair perfectly placed, a navy-blue turtleneck sweater and jeans. We stopped for some mulled wine and hot dogs, taking in the sights before us and listening to the screams from the rides, watching the flashing lights strobing but hardly visible in the daylight.
This place was alive and I couldn’t believe I had never been here before. The smell of roasted chestnuts filled my nostrils making it feel like Christmas; my grandma, on my dad’s side, used to roast these when I was small before she passed away. It was the scent of home that I had forgotten. I closed my eyes taking in the rich nutty scent, enjoying it in the chilled winter air.
When I opened my eyes, I was greeted by Nate’s gaze, smiling at me like a weirdo.
“What?” I giggled, hitting his arm playfully.
“I thought this was your idea of hell, that's what you told me after I asked you here.” He laughed.
“It is…but the smell of roasted chestnuts reminds me of my grandma’s home at Christmas before she passed. It kind of reminded me of her for a moment.”
“I think you are enjoying this more than you’d like to admit” he suggested. I rolled my eyes at him before sipping more wine.
“Sweetheart,” he scolded sternly.
“Well, I have good wine and good food. Maybe I would say decent enough company,” I teased, trying to annoy him a little more before smirking in his direction. He let out a big sigh shaking his head.
“Decent enough?” He raised an eyebrow. He cleared his throat not saying another word, but his eyes said it all. I would be punished for this later, which gave me that chill down my spine. I liked to challenge him and he seemed to like a bit of fire.
I took another bite of my hot dog as my hair flew around in the soft breeze coming towards my food, despite my mustard yellow hat holding it in place. I ignored it, right now my focus was this hotdog. Nate chuckled and pushed the carefree strand away from my face, his fingers brushing over my skin as he guided it back behind my ear. He held my gaze as he twirled the piece in his fingers, feeling it slip through.
Something cold kissed my cheek; a snowflake. I looked up, noticing that it was now snowing. I loved the snow, and we rarely had it in London, it was like a tiny miracle. My eyes lit up a bright blue-grey whenever it snowed, such was a rare colour, and Nate had noticed. I looked at him through my thick lashes, his mouth gaping a little.
“My eyes change colour when it snows,” I blushed, confirming the insignificant detail that had caught his attention.
“That’s magical,” he chuckled. “Come on” he smiled, breaking the trance he was in. He held his hand out for me to grab, supporting me as I climbed down from the bar stool. Was he seriously turned on by the changing colour of my eyes? This was new.
Instead, the complete opposite, he pulled me into a clearing between some of the amusements and spun me around to face him. It was snowing harder now and it brought the magic of Christmas to life. Everyone within our radius was excited by the snow. I still couldn’t believe the feeling snow brought when it arrived. I closed my eyes letting the snowflakes hit me, before opening my mouth like a child to capture them on my tongue.
Nate laughed, challenging me to see who could catch the biggest one. While I was distracted with my task. his hands fell to my hips, holding me in place. After I caught one, I opened my eyes to notice Nate’s weird stare again, he was admiring me. What had gotten into him? I met his eyes trying to read into his expression but failed.
“Look up,” he chuckled, suddenly amused.
“Nate, I know it’s snowing, I don’t need to look up at the pretty white sky!”
“Gigi.” His voice became low, and I knew better than to disobey that tone so I smiled softly and obeyed. Fuck me. What a game. He had positioned me under the fucking mistletoe. Adrenaline coursed through my veins, butterflies lined my stomach. I shook my head, laughing at the real reason he had dragged me out; not to enjoy the snow fluttering down as I thought.
“It's tradition,” he laughed. “So, we kind of have to,” he whispered.
“Nate Dalton, is this you actually asking to kiss me instead of just forcing me to?” I teased, biting my lip flirtatiously.
“Yes. In the spirit of Christmas, I am.” His eyes radiated a warmth that seeped into my soul, his laughter lines more prominent around his eyes. It was such a raw beautiful emotion that suited him. Then he pointed at a man dressed as Santa. “I need to make it on the good list.”
“No chance!” I laughed, louder than I wanted, catching the attention of some passer by. Nate’s eyebrows raised at my extreme reaction. “But yes, if it's in the spirit of Christmas then you have my permission.” And that was all he needed.
He placed his warm hands softly on my chilly crimson cheeks, his eyes deeply gazing into mine as he slowly moved his lips to mine, planting a very delicate kiss. He closed his eyes and lingered for a couple of seconds longer, as if he didn’t want to break us apart. My heart raced, my mind focusing on the feel of his soft lips, more affectionate, more tender and that pause on my lips was unusual like he wanted to freeze this moment forever. It was…romantic?
“Gi!” A voice startled me, anxiety bubbling, my heart pounding in my chest, as we pulled apart, spinning to see a familiar face. Our moment ended.