Chapter 6
brANDON
The white numbers of the clock threaten my well-being. How can every minute feel like an hour and every hour feel like an eternity?
The surrounding walls are inhospitable after four days, and my patience has worn thin from boredom. With nothing but my thoughts to keep me company, which isn’t the greatest for keeping up a good attitude, the silence sends my mind wandering.
The ice chips have melted, leaving only water for a plant at this point, since I have my own pitcher right next to it.
The glow of machines and the faintest of light sneaking in under the door illuminates the room enough for me to see, to study every scuff, outlet, and fraying edges of the blanket from too many washings.
But I keep coming back to the question of how my body could possibly be healing when all I’m doing is lying here all day and night.
My lungs aren’t being pushed to any meaningful capacity, even by a casual walk around the floor, and my heart rate only peaks when a certain nurse enters the room, which should be taken as a good sign of healing, given my natural reactions.
So will continuing to lazily lie here for days on end really make a difference in my physical recovery?
I’m doubtful. Nurse Debbie mentioned keeping an eye on me, but what exactly are they monitoring? My blood pressure? It’s great. My breathing? Better every day. My strength? Other than a few movements that cause some discomfort, I feel stronger despite the aches and pains.
Glaring at the door, I know what would be much more entertaining than constantly thinking about me and this room, and I have no doubt healing for me in a lot of ways—Autumn’s company.
I could invent fifty reasons to keep her coming back to visit me, but I don’t want to create a reason.
I’m drawn to more than her smile or how she fills out her uniform.
Her beauty is obvious, but behind her green-eyed glances, I can feel something more between us, even if I can’t quite put my finger on it.
I keep a constant reminder on loop—she’s checking on me, not visiting. I’m her patient, not a date. But would it be crossing a line to see if she’d be interested in seeing each other outside the blandness of these walls?
I turn my eyes toward the window where I hoped to see light brightening the edges of the blinds, but I’m disappointed. Summer likes to linger into fall, but the sun itself is struggling to rise this morning.
Night lasts forever in a hospital. The occasional voices heard in the corridor slip in through the cracks around the door, wheels that need oiling screech in protest when pushed past my room, and the occasional ping of a call light echoes down the hall.
None of it inspires me to sleep. But I know the best way for time to pass is by getting through it.
It takes memories of the rain dancing across my roof, the smell of dew that comes after, and the view of the tops of green trees leading into the blue of the ocean to get me to relax again. I take a few deep breaths before being dragged deep into the heaviness of my body again.
Orange colors the inside of my eyelids, the invasive light too bright to escape.
I can hear voices traveling into my room from the corridor before I’m aware enough of reality to join the present day.
I open my eyes, then clamp them shut again.
The room isn’t bright, but the sun’s rays sneak in around the curtain to remind me it still knows how to rise.
I blink a few times, then turn toward the light around the window, but find Tuck scrolling on his phone, like he has time for such nonsense with me out of commission. I swallow before my coarse throat works out, “Isn’t there a fire you should be extinguishing?”
He looks up with a grin already spreading across his face. “Fortunately, no fires.” Standing, he moves closer to get a good look at me, I suppose. “Wasn’t sure if I should come back.”
“Back?”
“I came by two days ago, but you weren’t seeing company.”
I laugh, which takes a lot of damn effort, and reply, “I wasn’t seeing anyone since I was asleep. Good to know you care.” Another laugh escapes the rawness of my throat. “What brings you by?” Tucker Travis is a year behind me in the firefighting journey and has become a good friend.
He chuckles without much humor involved. I can see where this is going. The wasteful worry over me. My mom was the same when I saw her the other night. Concern carved into their faces like I’m on the brink of death. They’re not getting rid of me that easily. I grin.
Tuck says, “You never woke up the other times I was here. Thought I’d try again today.”
“Here I am, despite the fire’s best efforts for my demise.
” Maybe it’s a poor joke, but if I don’t jest about what happened, the reality of what did will start to haunt me again.
Glancing at the window, I ask, “Want to crack some light into the place? It’s all gloom in this room.
” Autumn shouldn’t come to mind, but she’d brighten the place up again without trying.
I’m grinning behind his back. Don’t want him to think I’m enjoying this hospital stay because I definitely can’t tell him that the smile is from thinking about the gorgeous redheaded nurse.
“How’s it going down at the station without me?
I’d like to think I’m needed, but I’m certain life’s gone on without me. ”
He opens the blinds, flooding the room with an overcast hue from outside. “Quieter.” He laughs with more depth this time. “Captain’s been filling everyone in on your progress.”
“I haven’t seen him.”
“He’s stopped by a few times, talked to the nurses when you were sleeping. You’re on everyone’s mind.” When he reaches the side of the bed, he asks, “How are you doing?”
“Been better, but not too bad considering.”
“Yeah.” His eyes drop to my shoulder. “What’s the real damage?
” Guilt riddles his tone. This could have been him, or something worse could have happened.
Tuck’s good at his job, but he’s frozen before in the heat of the moment.
I won’t regret being the one if it spares my firefighting family.
Technically, no one forced me to take the shift, so I’m not going to lay blame on him, especially when it’s already gnawing at his insides.
“Unfortunately for you, I’m told I’ll be good as new.
Personally, I’m aiming for better than new.
” Smirking, I add, “I’ll be at the top of my game sooner than you have time to miss me.
” Why bother moaning about my injuries when they’ll go away, eventually?
“As for the time being, I’m bored as shit lying here twenty-four hours a day with nothing but highlights from games I’ve missed playing on the TV. ”
“You haven’t missed any games worth watching.” Moving to sit down on the small couch against the wall, he says, “I wanted to say I’m sor—”
“Don’t.” I stare at him despite his head dropping into his hands in defeat. “It was better for me than you.”
His head lifts abruptly, his eyes locked on mine. “How do you figure?”
“Did she say yes?”
A grin he can’t restrain answers before he has the opportunity. He glances toward the window before replying, “She said yes.”
I shrug, regretting the move when pain shoots through my shoulder and down my spine. “That’s all that matters.”
His grin falters, but his tone doesn’t. “You can’t say that’s all that matters when you’re lucky to be alive after fighting a fire I should have been fighting.”
“It wasn’t a fight. I was winning—”
“Until it took you out.”
The devil’s tongue flicking flames out the window.
Safety just fifteen feet down on the ground.
The grip of death pulling me back to the building.
I try not to live in those memories, preferring to dwell in the lighter ones of my life.
“Are we going to argue about who should be lying in this hospital bed? If we are, there won’t be an argument from my side,” I say, trying to lighten the remorse he’s feeling.
“I’ll trade ya.” I don’t want to spin this into a bigger deal than it is.
It only reminds me of my injuries, and then I start to feel the pain again.
“Can’t believe she said yes. Does she know you’re a devout Pokémon card collector? ”
Chuckling, he nods. “She knows. I’m selling a card that will pay for her wedding dress, so she’s not upset about my moneymaking pastime.”
“You’re selling a card? Must be love.”
“Yeah.” The shrug of his shoulders is casual, but I know what his cards mean to him.
“I want her to have what she’s always dreamed about.
” When a pause presents itself, we both take an exaggerated breath before he asks, “What about you? Once you’re freed from this place, you need to venture into dating again.
It’s been, what? Eight months? A year? I don’t know how you’re surviving, but I do know that you’re not going to meet your dream girl in the Cove. ”
I can’t remember how long it’s been since I went on a date. Life has been quiet on the mountain. The peace of the hills and trees keeps me sane. “Who says? Tracy fell right into your lap two years ago at the Fourth of July picnic.”
“She tripped over my boots, to be more precise, but that luck doesn’t strike twice in one small town. Take a vacation and get out of Mountain Laurel Cove to meet a girl of your own.”
“Who says luck’s not on my side?” There’s a cute redhead just across the hall. “I’m alive, and for all we know, the future missus could come knocking on my—”
“Knock. Knock.” Autumn peeks in as if she were cued. “I wanted to check on you once more before the end of my shift.” She glances at my friend, who stands as if it were impolite to remain seated, while a nurse does her job and checks my vitals. “Hey, Tucker.”
“Good morning,” he replies, like shyness bit his tongue.
Panic begins to rise, causing my heart rate to spike. I knew I should have forced myself to stay awake and figure out ways to make her visit. “You’re already leaving?”