Chapter 12
The elevator door opens to my parent’s Upper East Side apartment.
“Honey, I’m home!” My voice bounces through the uninviting space.
I guess no one is here.
Bardot family dinner was everything I wanted it to be. I’ve been avoiding it so I wouldn’t have to see Bex, but it feels good to be somewhere surrounded by so much love and familial affection. Bullshitting and sarcasm too, but mostly a genuine enjoyment of all of the people in the room.
I’m quiet on the way home with Gabe, but I don’t think he notices. He’s too busy doing some daydreaming of his own—I’ll have to pry into that a little bit later. Right now I’m focused on what I’m going to do about that curly headed menace that took me by honest to goodness surprise tonight when she revealed her reading preferences.
Though, I’m not sure why I’m so surprised. Bex has a tendency to get a wild gleam in her eye, she’s just not usually outspoken about it. I’m hoping her honesty means she’s getting more comfortable around me.
Gabe breaks me out of my thoughts when he asks, “So how has it actually been with Bex in your class?”
Well seeing her three times a week is an absolute dream, and I’m actively seeking out ways that I can see her more, is what I want to say.
I settle on, “Good. Good. Pretty good, yeah…” Cool.
“It’s not weird? They don’t have, like, rules against it?” He runs his hand through his hair before looking over at me.
I’m frozen trying to figure out what he’s implying. “Rules against what exactly?”
He tips his head side to side.
“I don’t know. You guys know each other, you know? I mean it’s not like you’re going to go easy on her or anything but she’s your best friend’s little sister. Isn’t there a concern about favoritism or some shit?”
Fuck. I honestly hadn’t thought about that. I was so fixated on Bex being back in my life, I kind of forgot about the implications of that. My career and responsibilities. I do that often, though I’ve realized it’s not totally on purpose. I tend to form a singular focus and right now that focus is spending more time with Bex.
“That hadn’t crossed my mind,” I reply. “I did offer to transfer sections if it made her more comfortable, but I guess I should bring it up to Professor Callahan, too.”
“You offered to move sections? Damn, that”s… nice.” He quirks a smile and I shove his arm as best I can while driving.
“Fuck you! I am a nice guy!”
“You are. You just haven’t always been super considerate of people’s feelings.” And I can’t lie, that stings a little bit.
“Shit, I don’t mean that in a bad way. I know you’ve changed a lot,” he continues after seeing my expression. “You aren’t the man you used to be and I’m proud of you for that. You also tend to be forgetful and I don’t want an honest mistake to hold you or Bex back when you are both in your last semesters.”
I just nod. He’s right. I’m not the man I used to be, but I still have a lot of work to do.
“I’ll text Callahan tonight and see if we can meet up. Keep everything above board and all that.”
“Good. I know I’m not usually the one to take things too seriously. I just care a lot about Bex. And as much as I don’t want her to go, I know she’s ready to get the hell out of Sassafras.”
“Me too, man.” Especially if I can convince Bex to let me follow her wherever she goes.
Callahan was able to meet with me before my 9 a.m., so that’s where I’m headed now after tossing and turning most of the night.
Worst case scenario, Callahan tells me I can’t teach the section anymore. Which would suck. I mean, I need the money, as measly as it is, but I also know Gabe would let me crash rent free with him. My pride is the only thing that holds me back from doing that now. Gabe has a fancy bank job that he hates, but it pays damn well.
What would really suck would be not seeing Bex as often.
That thought alone means it’s probably good that I’m having this conversation.
I get to Callahan’s office and knock on the door frame. He looks up from his computer and a warm smile spreads across his face.
Professor Edward Callahan was one of my favorite professors in undergrad. He’s exactly what you imagine when you think of a college professor—white beard, glasses, Mr. Rogers sweater, the whole nine yards. He always saw potential in me, even when I was squandering it away. He welcomed me with open arms when I reached out about coming back to Hawthorne, and I appreciated that more than he’ll ever know. He’s taken me under his wing in many ways, and I trust him implicitly.
“Good morning, Professor. Thanks for meeting with me.” I’m more nervous for this meeting than I thought I would be.
“I know you never will, but I really wish you’d call me Ed. Professor Callahan sounds so uppity.” He scoffs as if he doesn’t look like the most refined gentleman.
“I can call you Ed…” I let the sentence hang in the air to demonstrate the weirdness of it.
“I concede—that does sound wrong. Professor Callahan it is,” he says with a laugh that can only be described as jolly. “Take a seat. How can I help you Mr. Olsson?”
“Right… Well, I—uh, you know my Intro to Acting class?” I rub my sweaty palms up and down my thighs.
Callahan eyes me suspiciously. “Yes, Mr. Olsson, I know the Intro to Acting class in which I am the professor. Has there been an issue? I meant to stop by again this week, but you know how the first week of the semester can go.”
“No! No issue, sir. Just one of the students. It’s—she’s not an issue per se—she’s… well she’s—”
“Ah, I see.” Callahan folds his hands under his chin and looks at me over the top of his glasses. What is it with all of these people acting like they can see into my soul lately?
I clear my throat. “What do you see, exactly?”
“I noticed the girl you couldn’t tear your eyes off of. Do you have a relationship with this student?” he asks.
“Of sorts. She’s my best friend’s sister—you’ve met Gabe before. Bex, his sister, is having to take this course to fulfill her fine arts credit before she can graduate in May. I didn’t realize she’d be in the class until she walked in on Monday and really didn’t think twice about it. Gabe was actually the one who encouraged me to speak with you. Keep everything on the straight and narrow.” I’m rambling. “She’s taking the course as a pass/fail, as well. I felt like that might be important to know.” Good God. I’m being so transparent, I’m a ghost at this point.
“Thank you for letting me know, Mr. Olsson. There’s really nothing wrong with your best friend’s little sister being in the course. I trust you to be impartial.” There’s that piercing gaze again. “As long as that’s all she is to you, of course.”
“Yes. Of course. She’s just a… friend.” Oof, I do not like the sound of that.
Callahan hums skeptically. “You’ll let me know if that changes?”
“Changes?” Wow, that came out three octaves higher than normal. I clear my throat, again. “Changes, Professor?”
He gives me one last look before he leans back in his chair, takes off his glasses, and rubs his eyes. After an eternity of sitting on the edge of my seat waiting for his response, he finally says, “Listen, Anders.” It’s never good when he calls me by my first name. Surprisingly, he’s a pretty strict “Mr. Olsson” guy, given the fact that he’s always trying to get me to call him Ed.
“I’ve been doing this a long time. It is my job to be able to read and understand people. And right now, you are very much not putting off… What do the kids call it? ‘Friends vibes.’” He grimaces at that. “If anything changes between you and this young woman—as in you get your sorry ass out of the friendzone—I will need to know immediately. You won’t face disciplinary action since it seems like you two have had some sort of relationship for a while now, even if that’s only as friends, but you will have to remove yourself as TA for that course. I will happily step in or find someone else to take over if that becomes the case, just please make me aware as soon as possible.”
“I understand, sir.”
He nods. “Good. You don’t technically need to be TA-ing this course anyway. At least not to graduate. Let me know if anything changes so we can take the proper steps.”
I stand to shake his hand. “Thank you, Professor Callahan. I think I need a little time to process this, but I will be sure to keep you updated.”
I know I don’t want to be just “friends” with Bex. I’m just not sure if she feels the same way.
As I walk over to the black box theater, I decide I need to come clean to Bex. See where she’s at before making any major decisions.
Fingers crossed I’m not completely alone in this.