53. Morgan
Chapter 53
Morgan
M urmurs of confusion rippled through the crowd, and even the knights looked up at me with scrunched, uncertain faces. But the Queen, who had seemed extremely enthusiastic about my idea when we’d met this morning, cleared her throat.
“Our knights will be demonstrating their strength and bravery today. But we have another contender to introduce; one who wishes to demonstrate her own bravery. May I present to you all Lady Morgana.”
“Huzzah!” the crowd cheered, and I did an awkward little wave, a forced smile plastered on my face. I was almost certain I was beet red from head to toe.
“And whose favour do you seek today, Lady Morgana?” she asked, turning to me. She tapped the lapel mic hidden in the intricate beading of her dress, and I leaned in uncomfortably close to her breasts to speak into it.
“Sir Jack Evans, Your Majesty.”
A single whoop sounded from the crowd, and I looked out to see Chloe waving her arms around halfway up one side of the arena. I scanned until my eyes finally landed on Jack, the sunlight glinting off his golden hair and the crown perched atop it. I couldn’t see his face from where I was, but I could tell he was looking at me.
“Let’s help Sir Jack to the front please,” the Queen said to the attendants who had been selling regalia just moments ago. One of them waved for Jack to follow her, and it took him a moment to comply, but I felt my whole body relax as he stood up and made his way down to the front.
As Jack leaned against the railing, I could see his face more clearly, and my heart started to beat faster and faster. He looked confused, yes, but he also looked relieved. Maybe even hopeful. And importantly, though his smile was only faint, his eyes were creased at the corners in a way that sent my head into outer space.
The Queen cleared her throat again, but this time it was for me. I looked up at her, and she nodded down at Jack. Go on , she was saying. Show us what you came here for.
I took a deep breath in and thought about all the things I wanted to say to Jack. All the ways I could tell him what he meant to me, and what I’d learned from him. I stepped forward and put my hands on the balcony, looking down at him, but it wasn’t close enough. I knew if I was going to do this I needed to be standing in front of him. Holding his hands.
So I took off running to the back of the balcony, down the stairs, gathering the skirt of my dress in my hand, and then out the doors to the arena. I heard a few gasps, and the knights hurried to move their huge horses back. I was almost certain having guests on the field was a big no-no based on the safety talk I’d had, but fuck it. And when I looked up, I saw Jack vault over the railing and come sprinting towards me, looking like a real-life prince.
I got to him and grabbed his hands as I’d planned, both of us panting as I swallowed hard and met his green eyes with mine. He was smiling down at me, equal parts confusion and delight on his face, and I found all the courage I needed in his gaze. I straightened the chains on my chest and shoulders and smoothed my skirts, then took a deep breath in.
“I love you, Jack,” I said, trying to make my voice loud enough for at least some of the audience to hear – that was what had got me up here, in the end: the promise of a show – but it was shaking. I did hear a few people say “awww” though, so I figured it would do. And Jack squeezed my hands as he pressed his lips together in anticipation, spurring me on.
“I know we’ve been through a lot together in not a lot of time. And I’m not proud of all of that. But I am proud of the person I’ve become because of you. And important, I’m proud of you .”
I took a deep breath in, and Jack mirrored it, gripping me tighter. I took a sharp breath in as he stepped just a tiny bit closer, but I forced myself to go on.
“I’m sorry that I pushed you away. That your baggage triggered my baggage, and vice versa. The last thing I wanted to do was make you feel like there was no room in frame for you.”
This was it; this was the big moment. The one I needed to be brave for. And looking up into Jack’s green eyes, I had never felt braver in my entire life.
“If you’ll still have me, I want everything with you. The future, the dog, the house, the babies, the adventure . I want it all. And the rest can just be water under the tree.”
The whole crowd was silent, and even the far-off noises of the rest of the faire faded into the background. It was just me standing in front of Jack, him staring down at me; nothing else existed in that moment. And whilst I waited for him to respond, it was as if the air had been sucked out of the arena.
“Morgan,” he said, then cocked his head to the side, his crown slipping slightly. “Or, Lady Morgana?”
I laughed, and so did he, and the sound was like honey to me. Like sunshine on a cold day. “It’s me,” I said. “Just me.”
“Morgan,” he said again. “I am so sorry that I got scared; that I pushed you away. All this time I thought I was the brave one, but it turns out I have a lot to learn from you.”
I beamed up at him, blinking back tears. We’d cried enough in the last few days. This was a happy moment; I knew that now from the way he was looking at me.
“I would follow you anywhere,” he said, and I could have melted into a puddle right there on the field. “If you’ll have me.”
“No,” I said, shaking my head, and I saw his smile falter. “You don’t have to follow me anywhere, because I’m not going anywhere.”
His smile cracked wide open and his eyes crinkled at the corners as he wrapped his arms around my waist, dipped me backwards, and kissed me. The whole world erupted with applause, and I could swear that I could hear our friends cheering louder than anyone else.
By the time I was upright again, everything else had been put right, too.
“Let’s all raise a cheer for the brave Lady Morgana, and Sir Jack Evans!” the Queen cried. The knights and attendants all shouted, “hip, hip!” and the crowd responded with a deafening “huzzah!”