Chapter 27
P.S. WE’LL MISS YOU
Cricket
Today isn’t my favorite day.
It should be.
The orgasm Heath sent me to bed with last night—then breakfast with him and Lav this morning—and knowing he’ll sneak into my room again tonight after Lav’s in bed—this should be everything.
Except the mother-in-law house stuff took longer than anticipated today, Lav’s been cranky because she didn’t get enough sleep, we can’t find the right pink hair dye, Heath was very clear that we’re not entering relationship territory because he doesn’t date, and on top of it all, now we’re all at dinner together.
Which should also be something wonderful, but tonight, it’s bittersweet.
It’s Elizabeth’s last dinner with us. She has an early flight back to Charlotte first thing tomorrow morning.
“You sure you’re ready?” Samantha asks her.
She beams. Her hair is a brilliant magenta, she’s in a new dress, and I’ve never seen her smile so big.
“To kick that bag of dirt to the curb and take charge of the rest of my life? Absolutely. I’m going to paint my bedroom pink and put otters in every room in the house and get a pet parrot and eat girl dinner every single night. ”
“I tried eating a girl for dinner once,” Pip says. “Wasn’t my thing.”
Heath and I make eye contact, then both instantly look away before anyone sees us.
“That’s not what girl dinner means, Aunt Pip,” Mabel says.
We’re all here.
Mabel and Ginny and Pip and Samantha and Olivia and Dori and Elizabeth and Heath and Lavender and me, all gathered around the big table in the center of the kitchen.
Tonight’s menu is tacos and margaritas—orange soda for Heath and Lav—and flan for dessert.
Elizabeth’s favorites.
Ginny clinks margarita glasses with her. “We’ll miss you, but we’re also so excited for you.”
“Send us updates,” Olivia says.
“And also know it’s okay if you don’t,” Mabel adds. She added Elizabeth’s picture to the wall of shame earlier today.
Can’t lie. I cried a little when I saw it.
Going on the wall—it means you’re remembered. You’ve been here and you’ve gone on to the next part of your life, but you’re not here anymore.
“I’ll keep in touch.” Elizabeth draws a cross over her heart.
“Being here with you after that stupid video— You’ve—you’ve changed my life, and I will—” She gulps and wipes her eyes, her voice dropping softer and softer.
“I will never forget your kindness. You gave me exactly what I needed when I didn’t even realize I needed it. ”
My eyes get hot too. I’m across the table from her, so I can’t hug her, but Samantha and Dori are both leaning in from either side of her while other sniffles go up around the room.
Heath glances at me again.
His eyes are a little shiny too.
I love him so much.
I’d tell myself to slow down, but how can I?
I’ve lived in his house for a month. That’s a long time to pretend to be someone you’re not, and who he is…who he is takes my breath away.
I’m sniffling too, but it’s not just about Elizabeth leaving.
It’s about how unexpectedly happy I am here, mingled with that fear that I can’t shake that this could all be temporary.
That Heath really won’t ever want to date me for real.
That the bank will foreclose on the winery.
That something else will somehow go wrong faster than I’m ready to handle another of life’s plot twists.
Lav’s squinting at all of us in turn. “What’s wrong with everyone?”
“They hate goodbyes,” Pip tells her. “Sappy young people.”
“I’m a young people.”
“You’re still smart.”
Mabel’s dry-eyed as she sends Pip an amused look, but I wonder if she just hides her emotions better than the rest of us.
Or she’s really not a crier.
Not everyone is a crier.
“Emotions don’t make you dumb, Pip,” Samantha says.
“If anything, showing them makes you strong,” Olivia agrees.
“For most of you,” Dori says dryly.
Understandable reaction.
Emotions probably aren't on her list of favorite things considering her feelings were what made her go viral.
Even the kinder comments—the honey, you can do so much better and his loss kind of comments—didn’t help.
Her ex had also gone viral not long before their breakup.
For pulling three people out of a burning car.
He’s a volunteer firefighter when he’s not doing his day job, which is running a charity that funds research for rare blood disorders.
It’s hard to look like a more heroic person. At least from the outside. The idea that Dori could do so much better—well, she can.
And she will.
But that’s not something that the general population of the world would agree with based on publicly available knowledge.
“Emotions don’t make you stupid or weak,” Mabel repeats to her.
“What does that mean about you?” Aunt Pip asks with a grin.
Mabel flips her off, and all of us crack up.
Even Heath.
Another sliver of fear slinks down my spine.
He is everything on the inside that Dori’s ex seemed to be on the outside.
It would be nearly impossible to do better than Heath.
And who am I?
Really, who am I?
“Think you’ll date again?” Ginny asks.
I jerk my head toward her, then realize she’s talking to Elizabeth. Naturally.
She’s not commenting on Heath telling me he’ll take me into town.
I haven’t told anyone here what happened between us last night, and I don’t plan on it.
Not yet.
Elizabeth slides a look at Lav, then grins and winks at Ginny. “I’m not sure I ever want to…date…again. Like that. Maybe I’ll try a new kind of dating.”
Ginny grins back and high-fives her. “Good for you.”
“I don’t want to date,” Lav announces. “I want to go hunt for real dragons when I grow up.”
“Dragons are so much better than men.” Dori shoots a glance at Heath. “Present company excluded.”
“I’d take a dragon over me too,” Heath says, which makes most of the rest of the table laugh.
Except me.
What if—what if he wakes up and realizes I’m not actually good enough for him?
What if he works through all of his own lingering insecurities about not being a good dad, and he goes in search of someone who’s just as amazing as he is?
“I’ll make sure my dragon likes you, Daddy,” Lavender says.
He ruffles her hair. “Appreciate that.”
“But no one else. Except Cricket. And Fluffy and The Cockinator. And Aunt Pip and Mabel and Ginny and Samantha and Olivia and Elizabeth and Dori and Ursula and Sadie.”
Several pairs of eyes shifted my direction when she named me first.
“The Cluckinator, Lav,” Heath says gently.
“Do you mean Ursula and Sadie from the pictures in the hallway?” I ask her. I’ve studied the wall. I know everyone on it and why they went viral.
She nods. “They’re real. And they gave me a lot of jam on my biscuits one day.”
“I heard Ursula is writing an actual romance novel,” Samantha says to Olivia.
“Can confirm,” Mabel says. “She says this one will have the requisite happily ever after, and she won’t argue with people on the internet anymore about romance novels not needing happily ever afters. Also, she’s dating her dentist.”
“I hope he’s good with all of his tools,” Dori murmurs.
Olivia chokes on her margarita while the rest of us snicker.
“So she has clean teeth?” Lav asks.
“Exactly that,” Heath replies. “If you date a dentist, he should help you have clean teeth.”
I love watching him interact with Lav.
I love it more knowing how hard he works to have the patience he has.
“Do you hear from Sadie anymore?” Ginny asks Mabel. “I haven’t in months.”
Mabel shakes her head. “I think she’s moved on. Last I knew, she had a new job in a new city with new friends who didn’t recognize her until she told them she was…who she is.”
Sadie is the fuck off lady.
It looked like she was yelling at a grocery store cashier to fuck off in the video. Lots of kids around.
She was actually yelling at the guy at the next register, who’d been yelling at his cashier and claiming she put her finger on the scale when she weighed his tomatoes.
The videos posted of the whole event didn’t get the coverage that her video did, so very few people on the internet got the full picture, and she was designated as the villain.
Yeah, she shouldn’t have been yelling at anyone to fuck off while kids were around, but also, thousands and thousands of complete strangers didn’t need to shame her for it.
“I hope she’s still happy,” Olivia says. “Poor thing was carrying guilt like her skin was made of it.”
“How can your skin be made of guilt?” Lav asks.
“Who has kin made of silt?” Pip asks.
“I will soon,” Mabel murmurs.
Pip flips her off, and we all laugh as Mabel grins.
“You’re not even a blood relative,” Pip tells her.
“What? No,” Ginny says.
“Actually true,” Mabel says. “My dad married Aunt Pip’s niece when I was younger than Lav. I’m a step-great-niece.”
“Learn something new every day, don’t we?” Samantha says to Olivia, who nods.
I glance at Heath again. Am I glancing at him too much? Someone will notice if I am.
But he’s watching me too, and his eyes have an intensity that makes a shiver race from my tailbone up and over my scalp. Is it possible to get goosebumps on your face?
I think I have goosebumps on mine.
Is he also thinking about how much we’ve learned about each other nearly every day since I got here?
I don’t want dinner to end.
And at the same time, I want Elizabeth to ask if Lav can have a sleepover here tonight so that Heath and I can rush back to his house without fear of interruption.
“Oh my gosh, I just realized I’ll miss your sister’s wedding,” Elizabeth says to Ginny.
Heath’s eyes shift toward them, the break in eye contact making me shiver all over again.
As I glance down at Ginny and Elizabeth too, I realize Samantha is watching me with a knowing smile.
I blush.
Can’t help it.
“My soda!” Lav shrieks as she sends her cup tumbling and a stream of sticky orange liquid right at me.
I bolt to my feet, napkin in hand to start mopping, sending my chair tumbling backward.
There’s a yowl and a hiss from behind me, and then Pip yelps and drops her margarita.
“Down, cat! Down!” she shrieks.
Heath and I make eye contact again as Mabel springs into action, saving Pip from Fluffy, who once again shouldn’t be in the main house but somehow is.
One corner of Heath’s mouth tilts up, and his eyes soften, and yep.
I am completely, totally, and unconditionally in love with this man.
I want to have breakfast with him every morning.
I want to text him updates about my day and get text updates about his day.
I want him to want to take me out to dinner.
I want him to sneak into my room late at night and talk about our days and laugh together and then strip him naked and invite him into my bed with me.
And I want to live in this glow of the happiest possibilities forever.