Chapter 22
Chapter Twenty-Two
CARTER
It takes me two hours to figure out the situation with work. Probably because the entire time, my mind is half on my argument with Ashley. I can’t get the hurt look on her face out of my mind.
Knowing I’m the one who put it there doesn’t sit well with me. Especially because I know she has a point. I’ve always been a workaholic, but if I leave this project with my team, Ralph is going to have a field day with me. I need this job until I go out on my own. If I go out on my own.
Ashley is right though. I can’t even put her first when I’m on vacation and in the same house as her. How will it work when I’m back in New York and the daily demands of my job are front and center? How can I possibly think that we can successfully do long distance?
I spend the rest of my day in my room, knowing Ashley isn’t interested in seeing me, but by the time dinner approaches, I seek her out. But before I leave my bedroom, I make a phone call.
Ashley is in the living room, cuddled up into the corner of the couch with a holiday quilt over her, watching Surviving Christmas.
“Can we talk?”
She doesn’t respond or even glance my way.
It’s like a slap across the face.
I sigh and sit on the couch, giving her space. “If you tell me you want me to leave, I’ll go back upstairs. But I think we should talk about this.”
She says nothing, then clicks pause on the movie and shifts to face me. “All right. You have my attention. Talk.”
If I were in a better mood, I’d chuckle. This is one way that she’s like her sister—stubborn when she’s pissed off.
“I’m sorry I let you down. I said I would do something for you, be there for you, and I wasn’t.
” She doesn’t respond, but her shoulders relax, and her jaw doesn’t appear quite as set, which I take as a good sign, so I continue.
“The truth is, you’re right. It’s going to be hard trying to make this work being so far apart.
And if I’m honest, that scares the shit out of me. ”
Ashley stares at me, then whips the blanket off of her lap onto the floor and crawls toward me. My hands instinctively go to her hips and pull her in so that she’s straddling me, her hands on either side of my face.
“I’m scared too. I didn’t expect this thing between us, and even if I could have predicted it, I would never have thought it would feel this…”
She searches for the right word, so I say the first one that comes to mind, “All-consuming?”
Ash bites her bottom lip and nods. “That’s exactly it.”
I close my eyes and rest my forehead against hers. “I’m sorry. I can’t promise that I won’t fuck up again, I will, but I promise I will always strive to put you first.”
She shakes her head. “I overreacted. With the wedding being canceled, my sister in a panic and so distraught, I was already feeling so raw. I was dreading the idea of having to call the whole family and deliver the news about the wedding.”
I turn my head and kiss her palm. “I’m sorry I wasn’t the one who handled that for you.”
“No, it was good actually. Talking to my parents and my aunts and everyone else helped me feel a little better about the situation. They put my mind at ease that it would still happen, just not how they originally planned.”
“Steph and Doug love each other. No way they’re letting this stop them from spending the rest of their lives together.”
She nods. “Yeah. It’s still disappointing, but I truly do believe that everything happens for a reason.”
“So… you forgive me then?” I arch an eyebrow.
Ash gives me a small smile and nods. The mood between us is still somber, so I attempt to lighten it.
“Does this mean we get to have our first makeup sex now?”
Her head rocks back in laughter. I lean forward, dragging my tongue from the base of her throat up to her ear. It elicits a moan from her.
“First of firsts?” she whispers.
“Exactly. I want this to work so badly, Ash.”
She tips her head down and brings her lips to mine.
The kiss starts off slow and sensual but quickly morphs to heated and full of desire.
Soon we’re tugging off each other’s clothes, tossing them wherever they fall, and then she’s over me, sliding down my length until I’m fully seated inside her.
We both take a moment to enjoy the sensation of having her wrapped around me, neither of us moving as we breathe in each other’s air.
She moves on top of me. I take her nipple in my mouth, sucking gently and nibbling on the hard peak. Her hands dive into my hair, and she pulls, mixing pain with the pleasure.
Within minutes, we’re both panting after our releases and catching our breath. She’s locked in my arms, pressed against my chest with my face buried in her neck. I’m completely satisfied, yet a feeling of panic, unrivaled from any other time in my life, rises as though it might swallow me whole.
I can’t lose this. I can’t lose her. I can’t.
But am I destined to lose her if I return to New York and pick up where I left off on my life there?
I sit with that thought, breathing in her scent. The answer is yes. If I try to continue this so far away from her, I most definitely will lose her, and that is not an option.
An idea forms.
I’ve done some crazy shit in my life, but somehow, what I’m picturing isn’t one of them.