CHAPTER THREE
Ash
Ash floated in a soft cloud of black. Her body felt as though it was gently cradled in a pair of large, warm hands.
The only sound was a gentle trickle of water.
There were no scents, nothing to see. There was no pain, no fear.
Never in her life had she felt so good and so peaceful. Ash knew this was not a dream.
She had been here before, one other time…
Her heart clenched at the memory. Waking up in a hospital room.
Thirst. The dull haze of pain medication.
IVs. Machines. Her parents’ red, swollen eyes as they gazed down at her.
Her mother holding her hand as tears fell down her cheeks.
I’m sorry, honey. I don’t know how to tell you this… he’s gone. He didn’t make it.
He didn’t make it.
Shaun.
He had grown up in Manhattan and didn’t drive very often. They were both out of practice, to be honest, but of the two of them, she was by far the better driver. She should have insisted on taking the keys to that rental, but he wanted to. Okay, okay, go ahead and drive.
It wasn’t his fault, that day. He hadn’t caused the truck to tip over on the highway, but if he hadn’t been rusty behind the wheel, he might have been able to avoid it. If only she could go back and redo that day. She could have, would have, should have…
Even in this dark, comforting place, the pain curled into her belly and twisted.
It was old pain, smoothed down from years of therapy, but brought back to life by being here.
This dark, warm place meant one thing: Something bad had happened.
The residue of it still clung to the edges of her mind, although the actual memory of it was gone. Just like before.
She moaned, but no sound came out.
Then, a surprise: Pleasure curled up her toes and over her skin, sending tingles through her body. Perhaps her mind in this place—which had her trapped between conscious states—was trying to comfort her, or distract her. There was no ignoring it.
Warmth unfolded in her belly. Sensation swirled up her right calf, turning that limb into an unusual erogenous zone.
The feeling slid up her knee, up her thigh, but stopped far short of where she wanted it to.
Ash moaned again, for a different reason, and this time the sound rang out in the darkness.
Her sex tingled and swelled with arousal. Her nipples tightened and her skin came alive with sensitivity. At the same time, a strange, unfamiliar need coiled below her ribs. There was a ravenous hunger that originated in her pussy and someone she needed to see, to touch, to know.
None of this is real. I’m in my own head, like a dream that I know I’m having.
Shaun, her husband, was gone. There was no one else. There would be no one else. The idea of opening herself up to that level of loss again was unthinkable. Plus, she was likely going to wake up to something horrible. That was what happened the last time she was in this in-between state.
Yet these sensations—pure, raw, and intensely sexual—were clawing her up.
She didn’t know why. The last thing she remembered doing was…
she wasn’t sure, but she knew it wasn’t sex.
Maybe she was at a party somewhere. There were other women, and laughter, and a twinge of worry about something. But definitely not sex.
Ash gave up trying to figure it out and relaxed into the state she was in. She’d wake up soon enough to whatever hell life had thrown her way. Honestly, she was too tired to keep thinking. With a sigh, she allowed the sensual wave to slide over her and pull her deeper into the darkness.