Chapter 4 #3
“And there’s your frown and your worry again,” she said, tapping his shoulder lightly. “You focus on you. You get yourself healthy. I’m pretty darn sure the rest of it’ll just fall into place.”
“Do you think so?” he asked.
“I do,” she declared, staring at him. “Seriously I do.”
He smiled. “You’re a nice person.”
“Why? Because I believe in romance, and I believe in love, and I believe in happy-ever-after?” she asked, with a chuckle.
“No, I don’t think that I’m a nice person just for that.
I just want to believe in the goodness of people, even though we see so much of the other side of it,” she murmured.
“We each get to choose what we look at. We choose how to react to things, and I choose to react positively.… On that note, we just fed the babies in the clinic, but what about us?”
“I think it’s dinnertime,” Zander proclaimed, “if you’re up for it.”
“I’m up for it,” she replied. “What about you?”
He nodded. “Absolutely.”
And they turned and headed toward the dining room.
*
What Zander didn’t know for sure was if he was up for finding out that the only reason Nelly spent as much time with him was because it was her job.
He knew that there was that aspect to it, but he didn’t want to have it in his face that she was really just being nice because she got paid to do this.
And yet he didn’t know how to ask her that.
Or even if it was something he should ask.
How do you ask somebody about that behavior?
What right did he have to ask about her motivation?
Feeling a little bit confused and definitely on the downside of a mood, he pulled into the buffet line and asked, “Any idea what’s for dinner?”
“The menu is up there,” she said, pointing, “but I can’t read it yet, not with all these people in line.”
He nodded. “I’ll check it out when I get up there.”
“Nonsense, let me go read it.” She walked away and then came back again.
He asked her, “So you couldn’t read it from here?”
“I don’t have my glasses on,” she said, with a sigh.
“Why don’t you have your glasses on?” When she flushed, he raised an eyebrow. “Oh, there’s a story behind that.”
“Yeah, but one you’ll laugh at,” she said.
“No, not necessarily. Besides, maybe it’ll make you seem more human instead of so perfect.”
She just stared and shook her head. “Now I definitely don’t want to tell you.”
“Why?” he teased. “I promise I won’t laugh.”
“It’s still stupid,” she admitted. “It’s one of those little things that I have hung on to since childhood.”
“Oh.” He stopped and nodded, now understanding better. “You don’t want anybody to see you wearing glasses. Kids can be cruel at times.”
“It’s not that I don’t want anybody to see me in them,” she protested.
“Lots of people have seen me in my glasses, as I wear them at work all the time. It’s just, well, I tend to leave them off when I’m not at work.
So that I don’t get bugged about it—which is ridiculous because nobody here would do that. ”
That made him smile in a way because it meant she wasn’t at work right now with him. “But wearing glasses isn’t just about work because you want to see all the time, right?… Does anybody here really bug you about it?” he asked.
“No, that’s why I thought you would be quite surprised at me for even thinking this. It happened in childhood, yet,” she admitted, with a shrug, “obviously it still seems to be in my face, even after all these years.”
“I can see how, when you were younger it would be harmful being called four-eyes or whatever insults that they used back then. Those remarks were hurtful, made you feel different, but kids can be that way. Sometimes I think we live through that so we grow tougher, bigger, harder skins.”
She burst out laughing. “And yet I didn’t grow one of those at all.”
“And that’s because you’re hiding your glasses,” he teased, with a smile.
“Maybe I’ll try to wear them a little more often.”
“It would be good for you to see at all times,” he reminded her, with a smile. As they sat down he added, “You can spend time with other people too, you know?”
“Of course I know,” she agreed, facing him. “I spend time with a lot of people here. It’s unavoidable in a way,” she muttered, rolling her eyes. “Yet I’m happy to be here right now.”
“You sure?” he asked. “I don’t want this to be like a work thing, where you feel as if you have to be here with me, when you have friends sitting off to the side.”
She chuckled. “Those are the friends I work with,” she explained. “Not exactly who I want to spend every moment of my time with. No, I’m perfectly content right here, right now,” she murmured. “So sit down and eat.”
He looked at her and quipped, “I am sitting.”
She rolled her eyes. “ Fine . I’ll eat then.”
“Good,” he murmured as he watched.
Finally she looked up and asked, “Okay, am I eating weird? Is something wrong?”
He just shook his head and smiled. “You’re just really pretty.” Immediately a flush washed up her cheeks. He chuckled. “And obviously you aren’t used to getting compliments.”
“Definitely not used to that compliment,” she said, brushing her hair back. “You really surprised me.”
“You surprised me,” he stated. “I just looked up, and I just… I just saw that, and I wanted to say something.”
“Well, thank you,” she whispered.
He decided to drop it because it was obviously making her uncomfortable. As they continued eating, he asked, “What do you do in your evenings?”
“Lots of things. Watching TV, scrolling the internet. I do a lot of embroidery, something that’s mostly gone out of fashion now,” she noted.
“I use the swimming pool. I read. I do a bunch of stuff. Sometimes I just sit outside under the stars, although there won’t be any stars for a while given the forecast.”
“I imagine the evenings in wintertime are beautiful here.”
“Not that we get winter per se,” she noted, with a nod. “At least not compared to other parts of the country, but it can be truly beautiful.”
“I imagine,” he murmured.
By the time they finished dinner, she looked as if she was ready to go. So he announced, “I’ll head back to my room now. Thanks for a wonderful afternoon.”
She chuckled. “We can do it again sometime,” she offered.
“I would like that.” With a smile, he slowly turned and headed out of the dining room.
As he passed Shane, Shane whispered, “Nice job.”
“Nice job on what?” Zander asked.
“She’s still sitting there, staring at you,” he explained. “Don’t look now, but she’s obviously interested.”
“Oh, I don’t know about that. I probably just flummoxed her,” Zander said, with a laugh. “She’s not sure what to make of me.”
“That’s probably a good thing right about now,” Shane replied thoughtfully. “Yet I can tell she likes you.”
“Yeah?” Zander asked. “Well, that’s good ’cause I really like her too. She comes from the heart.”
“Now that,” Shane said, with a bright smile, “is very true. Not only that, she’s all heart. We’ve seen her get quite emotionally attached to various patients who have not necessarily done all that great. It’s been pretty hard on her.”
“In that case, I’ll have to ensure I’m not one of those who doesn’t do very well,” he declared. “I’ll have to be somebody who does great, so she doesn’t get upset.”
Shane burst out laughing. “If that’s what it takes, I am all for it. I don’t care what you have to do, but find the motivation to make this the best six months of your life.” And, with that, Shane turned back to the tableful of people he was visiting with.
Zander continued to roll out of the dining room and back to his room.