Chapter 6 #2
She knew it was a touchy subject to begin with, and she didn’t know why she’d pushed it.
And she hadn’t, not really. It’s just he had asked her, and she’d told him and yet hadn’t been able to question him further about his own thoughts on it.
Because she did want to know his thoughts.
She did want to know what his thoughts were on it all.
She liked him—more than liked —to be honest. They definitely had a rapport between them, but that didn’t mean that they had anything close to something that would be sustainable. And, with that thought, she moved on, trying to keep the conversation light and out of any touchy zones.
*
When Nelly got up the next morning and went in to work, she checked with the night nurse to see how Zander’s night had been. Seemed it was not so good.
She frowned at that, wondering what was going on.
Had she upset him the previous night? That would upset her if she had, and it would also give more weight to pulling back slightly.
Frowning at all the thoughts going through her head, she headed to the kitchen to get his green drink and a half-dozen other green drinks for various patients who were up at this hour already.
As she walked into the kitchen, Dennis noted, “Well, that frown doesn’t look very good.”
She shrugged and replied, “I didn’t even realize I was frowning.”
“Also not good,” Dennis said. “What’s up?”
“Zander had a bad night last night, and I’m not too sure why or how come.”
“They happen,” he murmured, “and more often than you think.”
She sighed. “I’m sure you’re right. It’s just not something that I still have any understanding about: the whys or the whens. I get word of a bad night, and I start trying to find a cause.”
“There is a cause, but it’s something that we have to check into first.”
“You’re right. It could be nothing.”
“And it could be something,” he declared cheerfully. “You never really know what is going on with people around here. The thing that you do find out very quickly is some of them are deep, and some of their problems are even deeper.”
“Meaning?” she asked in confusion.
“Meaning that it takes time for some of the issues to surface. Now maybe you had a discussion with him, and it was completely unrelated, but it triggered something that was related,” he shared, with a shrug.
“Either way, it’s important that it comes out and that it’s dealt with,” Dennis shared, “even though sometimes it’s not that easy. I’ll know more when I talk to him.”
“You’re correct there,” she agreed, pondering it. “I’ll see as soon as I get in his room and find out just how his night was.”
He nodded. “Just don’t push it. If he’s touchy, let him be touchy. It usually means something’s working its way through his brain.”
She chuckled at that. “He has a pretty impressive brain. So, if something’s working through there, it could take some time.”
“Exactly,” he agreed. “And that’s the trick. Understand that it will take time.”
She nodded. “Right, and don’t take it personally.”
“Never,” he noted. “It’s amazing just how much stuff does require time for each individual to sort out the mess in their heads and in their hearts.”
And, with that, she grabbed the green drinks as Dennis handed them over, loading them up on her wheeled cart, and started delivering them to all the respective patients.
By the time she got down to the last one—which, of course, she had saved as Zander’s—she walked over to his room and knocked.
When she got no answer, she hesitated and then knocked again a little firmer.
A sleepy-sounding Zander called her to come in.
She opened the door, stuck her head around the opening, and greeted him. “Hey. I wasn’t sure if you were awake or not.”
“Well, I wasn’t,” he replied, “but I am now.”
She winced at that. “It is time for your green drink.”
“Yeah, let’s never not get that down on time,” he muttered in a wry tone, as he shifted in the bed, rubbing his eyes. “I didn’t have a great night, so not moving as well as I would like.”
“Any particular reason for the lack of sleep?” she asked.
He yawned, shaking his head. “No clue, but it would be nice to find out sometime how that would work,” he added, “because, man, oh man, some days I think everything is great. Then I turn around, and it’s as if nothing is great.”
“Sorry,” she said sympathetically, as she walked over to help him adjust his bed so he could sit up.
“I really could use another four or five hours of sleep.”
“It was that bad?” she asked.
He nodded. “It was that bad.”
“I’m pretty sure you are allowed to push back your program for a day or two, especially if you had a bad night, because I know they don’t like you pushing too much.”
He shrugged. “What’s too much though?” he asked. “It feels like a cop-out if I don’t go.”
“Okay. Maybe just ask Shane what he would want you to do.”
He pondered that and nodded. “That might not be a bad idea.” He pulled up his e-tablet and sent Shane a message.
And then he took a sip of the green drink and stared at it.
“For the first time since beefing-up my green drink—and promptly throwing up that first one—I didn’t even shudder getting this down,” he noted.
Nelly frowned. “I’m not sure if that’s good or bad.”
“That’s because I’ve been putting on a good face.”
“That’s good, interrupting your usual frowns,” she quipped. “But what shudders? I haven’t seen any.”
He rolled his eyes at that. “It means I’m getting used to the new improved green drink. It’s not the easiest thing to get used to it. You keep changing the formula, so I never really know what it’ll taste like each time.”
“Since you’ve got lots of them coming,” she noted, “the easiest you can make it on yourself, the better.”
He nodded. “I get it.… I really do.”
“Do you really hate it now? You really enjoyed that first one.” It bothered her to think he’d been hiding his true reaction from her.
“No, I don’t hate it, but neither do I particularly enjoy it. Although on a day like today,” he pointed out, “it’s probably even more necessary.”
She frowned at him, seeing some of the pallor in his face. “Even if you don’t hear from Shane, I’m clearing your schedule right now.”
He looked at her in surprise. “What do you mean?”
“I don’t like the way you look,” she stated bluntly. “It’s more than fatigue right now. Maybe you’ve overdone something.”
He just stared at her and shrugged. “Just too many unruly thoughts. Nothing bad.”
“Maybe not, but it’s had an effect, and not a good one.” She waited while he finished his green drink and added, “I’ll be back in a little bit with your second round.”
“And what do I tell Shane?” he asked her.
“I’ll find Shane and tell him myself,” she replied.
“So don’t you worry.” And, with that, she disappeared.
She would find Shane and fast because she didn’t like anything about Zander’s appearance this morning.
As she walked toward Shane’s office, he popped his head out, still talking to somebody in the room behind him.
When he saw her, he asked, “Are you looking for me?”
She nodded. “Zander doesn’t look good this morning. I’m not sure what’s going on. He told me that he had a terrible night, overthinking things, but he looks bad.”
“ Bad -bad?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know what that even means anymore,” she admitted. “But I already cleared his schedule and told Zander to just stay in bed and rest.”
“That’s bad,” Shane noted. “I’ll head off and talk to him myself then.”
Nelly nodded. “Let me know if he’s okay.”
“You think he’s just had a relapse?” Shane asked, as he motioned at the hallway. “Come on. I’ll walk you back to your office.”
“I’m not sure what it is,” she said. “He just looks… I don’t know.” She shrugged. “I can’t explain it.”
“Not a problem,” Shane replied. “And you’re right.
Good call if he’s tired and worn out. No way we can stress his body by doing more today.
And sometimes it’ll just be that way. We won’t see a whole lot of progress for a while, and then hopefully his system will calm down, and we’ll see a nice period in there, where we can make some progress. ”
“And I’m afraid that, without the progress, he’ll get quite depressed too.”
“He’s been here almost what, two months?” he asked, frowning.
“Something like that, maybe a bit longer.”
“In his case, his immune system was pretty shot, and I don’t want him to get sick.”
“I’m afraid that might already be too late,” she muttered, with a sigh. “I just wish I knew if there was any way to ward off him getting worse.”
“There is,” Shane declared bluntly. “Lots of rest, bed rest, green drinks, and double up on the nutrition. I’ll talk to the kitchen about it too, but first I’ll go talk to Zander.” And, with that, Shane headed to Zander’s room.
*
Zander laid under the covers, hearing the voices going up and down the hallway, but they were distant, as if far off.
When a knock came on his door, he went to call out, but it opened almost immediately, and someone poked their head around the corner.
Zander popped his head up from the blanket and looked to see who was here. “I’m fine,” he said to Shane.
Shane stepped in, took one look at him, and replied, “Sure you are. You’re under the covers because you feel so healthy.”
Zander shrugged. “I dunno. I just had a bad night. I just didn’t feel quite myself.”
“Good to know,” Shane stated, “and you need to stay in bed. So you did the right thing.”
“I don’t know about the right thing,” Zander admitted. “I feel as if anytime I sneeze that everybody’ll overreact.”
“Because every time you sneeze, everybody will react ,” Shane clarified. “The overreacting part with you is hardly overreacting.”
Zander nodded. “I was really hoping that I would be doing better by now.”
“Was yesterday too much?”
“I don’t think so,” he murmured, “but I did wake up tired.” At that, he shivered visibly.
Shane walked closer and asked, “How about a hot drink?”