Chapter 6
Fatima
I will take it upon myself to care for you whether you like it or not.
Zander’s words rang through my head as I waited in line for breakfast. There was something about him that made me feel all gooey inside.
He did not wait for my invitation to help, he just saw a need and took the initiative to take care of it. I liked that.
He’s just being nice. I told myself. Zander had also experienced the loss of a luminescence mate. He was just trying to be friendly, that was all.
“Next,” Orsu called out.
He and Julie had two teenage sirret males working with them now.
They were essentially their line cooks and beamed with pride as they helped cook and serve meals for the entire dekes.
It had been easy for Julie and Orsu to cook for our smaller group in the mountain, but there was no way they could cook for the entire village now that we’d combined our two dekes’ into one large group.
I was more than ready to eat. However, much to my chagrin, I’d only been able to keep down one meal a day, and that was breakfast. I had severe food aversion to everything else but pancakes and bacon. Unfortunately, this left me feeling weak and tired for the past few days.
“Any word on Anusha?” Ashley asked. She was standing with Axon who was holding their little boy, Leon. She’d given birth just last week. This was the first I’d seen her out and about since the baby was born.
“No, not yet,” Beatrice shook her head. She had also announced her pregnancy recently and had a small baby bump already.
“All the hunters and shifters have taken turns searching for her, but nothing’s turned up,” she explained.
“Wherever that big shifter took her, he was damn good at covering his tracks,” Axon muttered. He, more than anyone, had the skills needed to find her.
“I should have been able to pick up on a scent trail at least, but he’d found a way to hide that too.”
“We will find her,” Rhaz stated with more confidence than any of us felt. “It’ll just take time. Gil told my sire that he wanted a female to love and protect. The only reason he worked with Dameron in the first place is because he believed his lies that we were holding them against their will.”
“So you don’t think Gil will hurt Anusha?” I asked, joining in the conversation.
“No,” Rhaz shook his head. “He also thinks we killed his parents so I doubt he’d be willing to bring her back here, either.”
A cold shiver ran down my spine. I could only hope he was treating her well. It had been one month already, how many more would it take for her to be found?
We moved silently through the line to get our food, but my stomach sank to my feet when I noticed they weren’t serving bacon today.
“How many pancakes would you like today?” Orsu asked with his usual warmth. He really was like a big teddy bear.
“Four please,” I replied, then looked down the table to make sure I wasn’t mistaken about the lack of meat on display.
“No bacon today?” Normally I wouldn’t care, but lately bacon had become the only protein I could stomach. Nothing, and I mean nothing, would stay down. Just pancakes and bacon.
“I’m sorry, we ran out. We make the bacon from the fatty meat of the wild boar, and there’s none left in storage,” Orsu explained.
“I’ve got jagwa steak cooking,” one of the newly appointed line cooks informed me with a smile.
Jagwa meat, the mere thought made me want to hurl. Why did everyone else get food cravings during their pregnancy, and I had to get severe food aversion?
“No thank you,” I smiled at the young sirret male. “I’ll just have pancakes today.”
Orsu loaded up my plate.
“Do you know if any of the hunters plan on bringing in more wild boar any time soon?” I couldn’t help but ask.
“I’m afraid not,” Orsu replied. The store house is full at the moment. There’s no need to hunt until we have room to fit more meat inside.”
“I see,” I nodded and tried not to pout as I made my way back to my seat inside the dining hall where we ate all our meals.
I took a bite of my pancakes and mulled over my predicament. Orsu was mistaken about one thing. There certainly was a need to go hunting for more meat. I couldn’t eat anything else.
I looked up to find Zander watching me like a hawk. He had a tendency to do that. It was both sexy and intimidating.
I had no doubt that he’d make good on his promise to give me help if I needed it, but I didn’t want to grow dependent on him, especially if he ended up falling in love with someone else. The thought made my stomach turn, and I quickly pushed it away.
I’d been keeping my distance from the sexy fire-winged shifter in order to hide just how tired and hungry I truly was.
Zander was smart, so I knew if I spent any time with him he’d figure it out right away, and I just couldn’t do that.
I could only depend on myself. That’s what I’d always done, and that’s what I’d continue doing.
Once I was done eating my pancakes, I got up from my seat and flashed Zander a warm smile letting him know that I was feeling just fine. Then I scurried out of the building before he could strike up a conversation or ask me any questions.
Moving fast had been a mistake. I was feeling the full effects of my severe lack of protein at this point, which left me weak and tired. I needed to lay down. A little nap would help.
The path to my cabin looked unusually long today, but I muscled through it putting one foot in front of the other until I made it to the door.
“Thank god,” I muttered to myself. I’d made it. Now it was time for a nap.
My steps faltered as soon as I stepped into the house.
I heard the distinctly familiar sound of lips on lips, and bit back a groan.
Then readied myself to see either Sarah or Talia making out with their prospective boyfriends.
This had become a common occurrence ever since we moved to the village.
There was something about having a house that was separated from everyone elses that gave them the illusion of privacy.
I tried to be patient with them. I’d been a teenager once too, but this was getting ridiculous.
Could they not find anywhere else to make out?
To be fair, Jax and Sozu lived with the other unmated males in a big cabin like I did with the other unmated women. So they really didn’t have very many options for privacy around here other than the forest which was a bit cold for a make out session at the moment.
Sure enough as I peeked my head around the corner, I spotted Sarah sitting on Jax’s lap mauling his face with one kiss after another. Neither one of them noticed me, thank god.
I’d been thinking about moving out into one of the abandoned cabins, and this was all the confirmation I needed to go ahead and make that leap.
The baby and I would need a private place of our own.
I might as well go look at my options now.
It wasn’t like I’d get much sleep with those two macking on each other.
Just as I turned to leave, however, Vianna came crashing through the door.
“Can I live here?” she asked in a watery tone that let me know she was close to crying.
Sarah quickly stood, face red, and hair tousled. Jax stood up behind her. His tail was whipping back and forth in agitation and the tips of his pointed ears were a dark blue.
Oblivious to Vianna’s question, Sarah commented, “Jax was just helping me fix the divider between my room and Talia’s.
The divider in question was a curtain that looked perfectly fine to me. Sarah tugged on it and gave the woven fabric an approving nod.
“Looks good, I guess we’ll be leaving now.” She didn’t even wait for me to respond before she grabbed Jax’s hand and led him out the door.
A flash of longing crossed Vianna’s face as she watched them leave. “I wish I could kiss Favalor as freely as Sarah kisses Jax.”
“Is that why you want to move into this cabin? So you can kiss Favalor in here? I can assure you, you don’t have to live here to do that,” I teased trying to lighten the mood, but Vianna was too distraught to smile.
“No, it’s not that. I just need space away from my brother. I’m an adult but he still treats me like child. I finally had some freedom when he went on that hunting trip of his, but now that he’s back he’s just as unbearable as before.”
“Unbearable how? What’s he been doing?”
I’d seen Zander and Vianna have a few arguments at dinner. Favalor seemed to be a tense subject between them, but I didn’t know why. Perhaps there was more too it though. Maybe Zander was being over protective of his younger sister.
“Well...” Vianna paused as if surprised by the question. “He keeps reminding me to do my laundry. It’s my clothes! I’ll wash and dry them when I feel like it!”
“Go on, what else has he been doing?” I encouraged. So far his behavior seemed pretty reasonable.
“He doesn’t like it when I stay out too late. Even when I’m with Sarah and Talia, he chastises me.”
“Is that the only reason why you stay out late? Because you’re hanging out with Sarah and Talia?” I’d noticed that the three of them had become fast friends, but I doubted that was the only thing keeping her out late at night.
“Well no...sometimes I’m hanging out with Favalor,” Vianna admitted.
“And Zander doesn’t like that,” I presumed.
“No, he hates Favalor.”
“Why does he hate him?”
I’d grown to like the young sirret hunter. He’d protected Tabby from Dameron and even went as far as to sneak her into our cabin to reunite the baby with Gabby when we had been held hostage.
“He says anyone who remained loyal to Dameron should be banished. Zander doesn’t care that Favalor only stayed so he could be a spy. He says there was no honor in what Favalor did, but I don’t see it that way. He was just trying to help by passing information along.”
“I see,” I nodded. “Well, if you think getting some space between you and your brother will help, you can take my corner of the cabin. I’m moving out.”
Vianna’s face lit up in a bright smile. “Really?”
“Really,” I confirmed. “Just give Zander some time. I’m sure he’ll come around eventually.”
“I don’t think so,” Vianna shook her head ruefully. “Zander can be pretty stubborn, but maybe you can talk to him,” the young Sirret woman’s eyes lit up.
“Me? Why me?”
“Because he likes you, A LOT. He talks about you all the time at home.”
“He does?” That was interesting...
“Oh yeah, he’s been asking me if his clothes look aright or if he should brush his hair for a third time every day, he even had me braid it this morning hoping it might catch your attention.”
The idea of Zander stressing over his appearance made me blush.
“I, uh,” my throat had suddenly gone very dry. I cleared it and tried again. “If the topic of Favalor comes up, I’ll put in a good word for him.”
“Thank you, Fatima! You have no idea what that means to me!” Vianna embraced me in a tight hug.
“You’re welcome,” I squeezed her back.
“Go tell your brother, you’re moving in, and I’ll gather my stuff,” I instructed.
“Will do! Thanks again, Fatima!” Vianna shouted over her shoulder as she hurried home.
I gathered my things into a pack and walked down the path to the first abandoned cabin. These houses had been occupied by the hunters who were banished. The younger children had been tasked with periodically dusting the empty houses and making sure none of them needed any repairs.
The first house I came across was nice. It was smaller than the one I’d shared with the other women, but it was cozy.
There was a fireplace, a tripod with a cauldron-like pot for cooking, and an outhouse that was easily accessed through the back door, and a curtain separating the bedroom from the rest of the house.
“What do you think, little one?” I asked aloud as I patted my belly. It was still mostly flat, but I liked the idea of my baby learning my voice even if I was just talking to myself.
I set my pack down and unrolled the mound of blankets I used as my bed. I knew I should probably keep exploring. I really should check out the other houses too, but I was just too damn tired.
“This is good, right?” I asked as I laid down. “We don’t need to be picky. Besides, this house is the closest one to Taylor.”
Visions of play dates and shared meals flooded through my mind. I knew she wouldn’t be able to help me right away since she’d have an young baby of her own, but eventually we would be able to hang out and parent our children together.
I thought about what Vianna had said too.
He likes you A LOT. The idea of asking for his help was tempting, and there was evidence that suggested he’d be more than willing to do so, but I still couldn’t bring myself to ask.
What if I became dependent on him and he suddenly bailed on me and the baby?
I imagined being stuck in the middle of winter or a bad drought, sitting in this house hungry and scared as I watched Zander arrive back in the village with a fresh kill for someone else.
At the end of the day he had no real reason to help me.
Sure, he had a crush, but that could change.
If life had taught me anything, it was that I could only rely on myself.
Zander and I weren’t mated, there was no biological connection between us, and I wasn’t convinced that love would be enough. No, I had me, and that’s all I needed.
With determination beating heavily within my heart, I grabbed a few supplies and headed out into the forest.
“Let’s find a simple animal snare and figure out how to make one ourselves,” I resolved and headed out the door.