Chapter 13
Zander
I thought about Fatima’s soft moans and the feel of her hands on my cock as I flipped the bacon on the cooking stone.
I thought of Fatima often and the intimate moment we shared together in this very house.
That was weeks ago, and we hadn’t done anything more than kiss since then. Even that was a rare occurrence.
I tried to find contentment in the relationship we had. She allowed me to cook for her everyday, and we shared most of our meals here in my house. Fatima had finally started to put on some weight and her belly had rounded into a small bump.
She looked as attractive as ever, and I was dying to taste her on my tongue. The sweet scent of her arousal filled the air every time we kissed, but every time I slipped my hand under her shirt or pants she would back away.
I feared that she was holding back because I could not luminess for her. She would be justified in rejecting me for such a thing, but I held out hope that perhaps it was something else. Something I could fix.
Once her dinner had finished cooking, I placed everything into a clay bowl and headed to Fatima’s house. She liked to eat dinner with everyone else in the dining hall, so I would make her food and we’d head there together.
Knock. knock. Knock.
Fatima opened the door, and her eyes lit up like they did every time she saw me. That light in her eyes made all my fears melt away. I wasn’t sure why she didn’t want me to touch her, but it couldn’t be my lack of luminescence, could it? Not when she smiled at me like that.
Her belly seemed even bigger now than this morning.
The sight of it made me want to puff out my chest with pride.
Fatima and her child were well taken care of because of me.
Even if she never fully claimed me as her mate, her child would only know love and safety.
I did not care that they were not from my seed, they would be mine all the same.
“Thank you, Zander,” Fatima said as she rose onto her tippy toes and kissed me on the cheek.
Her kisses always left me at a loss for words, so I grunted my acknowledgment instead. I think Fatima knew exactly what kind of effect she had on me, because she would just laugh if I became tongue tied.
“Shall we get going?” she asked.
“Unless you prefer to eat at my place,” I suggested and her cheeks turned red.
“No, that’s okay. I’d prefer to eat dinner in the dining hall with the others,” she smiled.
“Then let us head that way,” I nodded with a knowing smile. I had a pleasing effect on her as well.
We walked together in silence at a slow pace. Ever since her belly started to grow, Fatima’s gait had slowed considerably. I was happy to slow my pace to be by her side. I’d do far more than that to be near her as often as I could.
Once inside, we sat at a table with Drovo, Kayla, and baby Kavo. The sietling was smaller than most his age, but he seemed to be a happy baby nonetheless.
“Is Kavo sleeping through the night yet?” Fatima asked.
“Not yet,” Kayla shook her head and yawned.
“I think he just likes spending time with us,” Drovo commented with a proud smile.
Kayla huffed out a laugh, “he’s five weeks old, I’m not sure he cares about anything other than eating.”
“I don’t know,” Drovo began as he looked down at the small sietling in his arms. “I could have sworn I saw him smile this morning when you walked in the room.”
“You’re just trying to make me feel better,” Kayla rolled her eyes.
“Is it working?” Drovo asked with a knowing grin.
“Maybe,” his mate smiled up at him.
Fatima smiled at them both as she ate her bacon and pancakes.
“That’d be awful,” I could hear Ashley speaking with Beatrice at the table next to ours.
“It’s a possibility,” Beatrice commented. “Anusha could have luminessed to Gil, and maybe the reason why he hasn’t brought her back is because he’s injured.”
“What if he died?” Ashley replied. “I don’t know if Anusha would ever find her way back to us.”
“Could you imagine?” Talia joined in.
“I can’t think of anything worse than having your luminescence mate die,” Sarah sighed. Then her eyes went wide as she slowly turned toward Fatima and me as the room fell silent.
My heart squeezed. I had made peace with Riella’s death long ago, but I wasn’t sure if Fatima had made peace with Drelic’s passing.
I placed my hand over hers and she gave me a half smile.
“I’m so sorry,” Sarah apologized. “That was insensitive of me.”
“It’s alright,” Fatima waved her comment away.
Everyone’s eyes turned to me and I felt pressured to say something as well.
“It was a long time ago,” I grunted.
The silence stretched on for a long moment until Rava spoke up. “Luminescence isn’t as important as you think it is.”
“I certainly didn’t need to glow for Rava to know that I loved her,” Leeu, Neelu’s twin brother added.
Rava and Leeu had chosen each other many seasons ago. Neither of them ever glowed for anyone, but they didn’t care. They found each other, and they’d been happy ever since.
Their comments seemed to break the tension in the room, and everyone went back to their conversations.
Fatima scooted over to the other end of the table where the elderly couple was sitting.
“So you truly never luminesed for each other?”
“No,” Leeu let out a laugh. “All that glowing stuff isn’t necessary. I don’t need a goddess to tell me how perfect Rava is. I could see that all by myself.”
“Oh Leeu,” Rava’s ears turned a dark blue against her white hair as her mate doted on her.
“It’s true,” Leeu nodded to himself proud that he could still make his mate blush after all these years.
“I hadn’t thought that was even an option,” Fatima commented with a pensive expression on her face.
“Of course it is,” Rava assured her. “You don’t need luminescence, all you need is love.”
Fatima glanced over at me under her lashes then quickly looked away. Was she thinking about me? About us? Hope welled up in my chest at the thought that she might consider me worthy of her even though I’d never glow under the full moon again.
Fatima scooted back over to her bowl of food and informed me that she would like to head home.
I helped her up from her seat and together we walked out the door.
The half full moon illuminated the path as we walked past my house toward hers.
“Do you miss her?” Fatima asked.
“Miss who?” I missed my mother still, even after all these years, but I wasn’t sure that’s who she was referring to.
“You’re mate,” she answered hesitantly.
Her statement made me pause. I didn’t usually think about Riella. The only reason why I’d been thinking about her lately is because Fatima’s mate Drelic had died.
“No, I do not miss her,” I shook my head.
“Did you love her before she died?” Fatima asked.
“No,” I sighed, still feeling the pain of that old rejection in my heart. “I did not love Riella and she did not love me.”
“Oh,” Fatima frowned down at the ground. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
“It’s alright. She was in love with someone else. They ran into the forest together the night we luminess. I don’t know if they were running away together or if they were saying goodbye.”
“How did she die?” Fatima asked.
“She and her lover were killed by jagwas,” I answered.
“Like Drelic was,” Fatima commented.
“Did you love Drelic?” I turned the question on her.
“No,” she shook her head.
Just then a cold wind blew through the village making Fatima shiver.
“We should go inside.” I ushered her through her door and set a fresh log on the fire.
I had expected Fatima to be washing up or getting ready for bed, but when I turned around I found her staring at me instead.
“She should have chosen you,” she commented in a somber tone.
“Who?” I asked.
“Never mind,” Fatima waved her comment away.
Had she meant Riella? It had hurt in the moment when she rejected me, but now that I’ve met Fatima, I couldn’t imagine loving anyone else even if I could glow for another.
“Thank you for walking me home,” she began again. “Thank you for everything.”
“I enjoyed the walk,” I replied in a hesitant tone. I didn’t want to leave, but I turned toward the door nonetheless. If Fatima was tired, I didn’t want to get in the way of her sleep.
“Zander,” her voice was small and timid, which wasn’t like Fatima at all.
I turned around thinking something must be wrong, but instead I found the female who held my heart with rosy cheeks and a shy expression on her face.
“Don’t go,” she pleaded. “Not yet.”
“Do you need something?” I asked. I would do anything for her. Anything.
To my surprise, Fatima grabbed the collar of my coat and pulled me down until my face was level with hers.
“Yes, I need a kiss.”