Chapter 12 #2
"You'll be there to protect me." Her lips curved into a sweet smile that tangled his heartstrings. Every female must have been born with the instinct to seduce and manipulate, because she was doing a damn decent job of it.
"I'm only one man. And why would you want to go to a place like that anyway?" His eyes narrowed into slits. "Unless it's to piss off your mother even more. I don't appreciate being used. I understand you're hurting, but this is not the way to get back at her."
Her smile collapsed, making him feel like pond scum.
Without a word, she pushed away from the table and started clearing it.
"Kara-"
"I'm fine." Dragging her hand from under his, she carried the piles of dishes to the sink and started rinsing them out and stacking the dishwasher.
Swearing softly, he shoved to his feet and went to stand behind her. Her shoulders were as rigid as boulders, making him feel even worse.
"I'm sorry."
"It's all right."
"No, dammit, it's not." He spun her around, eyes smoldering. "I don't want to put that look on your face."
"What look?"
"That injured and defeated look that breaks me in two.
" His hand lifted to cup her cheek. "I want to erase all the hurt and pain you've been through, not add to them.
The bar is somewhere I go, just to chill.
The owner is a friend of mine. The others are just acquaintances.
They resent me but cannot do anything about it because of my friendship with Big Thunder. "
He smiled slightly. "He insists on being addressed like that, even by me.
" He moved his thumb over her smooth cheek.
"It's a place where fights break out at the drop of a hat.
Tempers run hot. I usually distance myself from the drama.
I would hang out and drink a beer or two, watch a game, and then split. "
"I offer my services as a lawyer and dispense advice.
It started out that way because I wanted to pull my parents' chains and beat against the system and society I belong to.
But Paul Grant, that's his name, saved my life.
" He cradled her face, his hands gentle.
"I was in a crash two years ago and ended up in a ditch.
The driver of the SUV ran me off the road and kept right on going. "
"Paul saw the whole thing and stopped to lend a hand.
I would have bled to death if he hadn't been there.
So for that, I owe him." He bent to brush his lips on hers.
"I cannot take you there. Paul is the only one who means a damn to me, and if you want to meet him, I could invite him for dinner over at my place. "
He touched her cheek, amazed anew that he could not keep his hands off her. "We should go out to dinner. A fancy restaurant. We, I mean the family, own or have interests in a few. Garden Retreat over on Main Street."
He skimmed his knuckles over her cheek. "They offer the best lobster Thermidor I've ever tasted. We dress up." He traced her bottom lip and had her belly jumping. "I'll even wear a jacket."
She couldn't think. He was doing things to her that were making her weak. Her brain was getting muddled, and her knees were rubbery. But she managed to shake her head. "I can't."
His movements stopped as he stared at her. "Can't or won't? I'm asking you out on a date, in case you misunderstood."
"I know." She had to take a step back. Her mother's words were haunting her. She had fallen asleep with them on her mind and woken up reliving and replaying every nasty, vile thing she had said. She had started this as a game of defiance.
She was an adult, wasn't she? She had never broken the rules.
She had never had a speeding ticket, because she stuck to the speed limit.
She had never stolen a thing in her life, not once, and she would never dream of taking a sweet.
She had never entertained thoughts of violence. She had always been a good girl.
Then she had decided that it wasn't worth it and had broken from the mold big time. She had given her innocence to a man her mother would never accept. And what was worse, she was drawn to him. It was no longer a game.
Zane watched the play of emotions on her face and wondered if she knew that everything she was thinking was there for him to see.
"This is going too fast." She moved away, and he let her, a cold feeling settling inside his chest.
"I see." Folding his hands over his chest, he leaned back against the sink, his expression carefully neutral. "What do you want from me, Kara? Be specific."
She fiddled with the bunch of fruits on the counter and plucked a dead leaf from the vase of peonies and baby's breath she had put there two days ago.
"I don't know," she told him honestly.
"I see," he repeated as he watched her. "Is it just sex? Am I just an experiment? A way to get back at that spineless jerk you were involved with, or your mother?"
"What?" She jerked her hand back from moving the bowl of fruit from the center. "No!" Closing her eyes briefly, she turned away from him and wandered over to the window. "I don't know how I feel."
"And in the meantime, what do you want from me? I have to tell you right now, I'm not into playing games."
"We could meet like this for the time being," she murmured, her back to him.
His expression hardened as cold reality surfaced. She did not want to be seen with him.
"I see." He had to fight the anger that was taking over. "So, it's just sex then. Tell me. When this 'experiment' is over, are you going to go back to him?"
She whirled then, her eyes flashing. "How can you ask me a question like that?"
"I don't know what the hell is going on, Kara.
One minute, you wanted nothing to do with me, and then the next, you invited me here and handed me your innocence on a silver platter.
I asked you out on a date and you refused.
Yet you had no qualms about going to the biker's retreat with me, no cameras, no reporters to capture our images.
I'm the guy with the tattoos and the lack of direction.
Wasn't that how your mother termed it? I have no ambition and I hang around losers. "
His eyes were like chips of ice and had her taking a step back. Her reaction sent a spear of disgust throughout his body, and he could not believe he could feel even angrier. "What? Afraid I'm going to whip out a knife and slit your throat?"
"Don't be ridiculous," she muttered, hugging her elbows.
"I want you to go out with me." He knew he was pushing it, pushing her, but he had to know if he was right, if all she was doing was trying to get back at her mother.
"Tonight. I can call the restaurant and have them set up a table.
There's a lovely terrace garden with arches overlooking the harbor, and we can see for miles.
We dress up and go out and have a delicious meal. You only have to say yes."
She knew what he was doing. He was forcing her hand. Kara wished she were brave enough to go out in public with him. He made her feel so special. He had comforted her when she felt despair.
And in bed, he made her feel like a queen. He made her feel more alive than she had ever felt in her life. But years of being under her parents' thumbs and then under William's had left their marks. Her mother's words, every one of them, were drumming inside her brain like spikes.
"I can't," she whispered hoarsely. "I- I just need time."
"Well." He straightened, the cold despair making him feel old and weary. He had been minding his own business when she came along. He should have turned his back and gone on about his business. "Take all the time you need."
"Where are you going?"
"Home. To my comfortable trailer where I belong.
" He flicked her a glance and felt his heart taking a dive.
She looked so vulnerable, it made him feel as if he just wanted to bundle her up, shake some sense into her, and demand that she see him, that she see that he wanted to be in her life for everything.
But pride would not allow him to say any of it.
He was also thinking that this was a bad idea after all.
They had nothing in common, and her first impression of him was stuck in his brain. She hadn't liked his tattoos, and he got why she wouldn't. She was sheltered. As much as she had changed her appearance and bought new clothes, underneath, she was still the same person.
"Zane, I'm sorry."
His mouth twisted bitterly. He had been hoping that she would change her mind.
The fact that she hadn't twisted the knife deeper inside him.
Crossing over to her, he stood there gazing at her face, the high forehead, the lock of hair, now a dazzling array of orange and gold, falling over her brow, the slanted cheekbones, the small, flared nose, and lips that had the power to drive him out of his mind.
Tucking his hand under her chin, he lifted it so he could brush his lips on hers. He wanted her taste inside him. "See you around, Counselor." With that, he was gone, leaving her hugging herself and trying to ward off the sudden chill.