Chapter 6
SIENNA
He was here. I know he was. I didn’t just imagine it.
That kiss.
That kind of connection can’t be faked.
I’ve just been sitting in my car for I don’t know how long, reliving all the good memories of the time we spent together. Letting them all just roll across my mind.
The wild rides on the back of his motorcycle, the wind beating against my body, strong enough to blow away all the darkness in my soul too.
His touch. So soft and so perfectly right.
His kisses. So full of lust but also love.
His cock inside me, so welcome, so right, where none before or after him had been.
The soft summer breeze cooling my skin as we lay on the beach after the first time we made love. Stars shining down on us. The ocean thrumming in tune with the thrumming of pleasure and bliss in my body. His eyes brighter than the full moon. His warm, loving gaze just for me.
I still dream of that night sometimes. And cry when I wake up. Losing all that, losing his love… that’s the only thing that still brings out any kind of emotion in me. And even that hasn’t happened for a long time lately.
I drove after him when he left. But he was gone so fast, just as fast as he appeared. I searched all the roads, the little side streets, before I finally gave up.
The sun has set, it’s getting dark.
Kurt will be waiting for me. And he won’t be happy I wasn’t there to wake him up like he told me to.
I start my car automatically. Not because I’m afraid of Kurt’s anger. Not because I want to go home. Just because I have nowhere else to go.
But it’ll be hard walking back into my house where no love ever lived after the unexpected, mind-shattering bliss that was seeing Zane again. It seems almost impossible to go back, to do it.
Why didn’t Zane take me with him?
And what will I do if he doesn’t come back for me?
The house is dark and quiet when I return, Kurt is still sleeping. But I hear his alarm clock start blaring as I close the front door behind me.
I also feel again that force of life that drove me out of the house this morning. I know its source now.
It’s Zane’s eyes on me. He’s out there somewhere, in the darkness, waiting for me. And as soon as he offers me his hand I’ll take it and go with him. Go wherever he wants to take me.
I hope it happens soon.
But just seeing him will be enough to get me through this evening with Kurt, his business associates, and their perfect wives.
“Where the hell were you?” Kurt snaps at me as I enter the bedroom.
He’s standing by the floor to ceiling windows overlooking the menacing black rocks and frothing ocean below. He’s already dressed in a black suit, the top two buttons of his cream-colored silk shirt undone. Clearly, he’s been awake for a while.
“I went into town to meet Camille for some coffee,” I say, the lie rolling smoothly off my tongue. As smooth as the waves licking the sandy shore below the window. I’m a very good liar. Always have been. Hardly anyone knows that, because I’m so good.
“You must’ve had a very good time,” he says. “Because you’re cutting it very close.”
If I say the wrong thing now, he might hit me so hard I won’t be able to make this dinner. Then he’ll go and I can stay home… and drive around looking for Zane for the rest of the night. I know he’s close. I feel his life-giving gaze on me so strongly. It’s like he’s standing in the room with us.
But Kurt knows my tricks. He won’t hit me hard enough, not before dinner. He’ll do it after dinner. Once we’re back home. And I probably earned that beating a few times over today. So there’s no point making him even more angry.
“I’ll be ready soon,” I say and take off my coat. “I’ll wear my cream silk dress to match your shirt.”
I even manage to smile a little as I say it. No idea why I’m doing it. Or why I’m trying to put him in a good mood.
It’s all automatic. Because as little as I care about getting hit, as little as it actually still hurts—because I feel barely anything these days—I’d still rather not get hit.
And with all this life whooshing through my veins that Zane woke today, I think I might feel every blow as though it was the first.
He checks his watch. “We still have an hour before we need to leave, so take your time. Make sure you look good.”
I nod and head for the bathroom.
Looking good. That I can do. That’s all I’m good for, after all.
And who knows, maybe Zane will show up at the restaurant too. And maybe I’ll look good enough that this time, he will take me with him.