Chapter 5 #3
“Why is her name Harri?” She asked him what he meant. “Harri? Is it short for Henreitta? Or something like that?”
“No. She’s named for her father. Harry Gibson.
He killed himself just after we were married.
He said it was too much for him to be an adult.
He was twenty-two, I was eighteen. We’d been dating for about three years by then, and I thought that he was fine with getting married.
He asked me, I didn’t force him into anything.
” He said that he didn’t think she had. “His parents believed that I was forcing his hand. I don’t know where they came up with that idea.
I wanted to wait to get married, but Harry insisted.
So just after I graduated from high school, the two of us wed.
Three months later, he was dead by his own hand. I had Harri eight months later.”
“I’m sorry. That must have been hard.” She said that it was, but since she got her daughter things were all right. “Did he leave you a note?”
“Yes. He said that he thought that he could get out of his parents’ home and have one of his own.
But it was too hard to have a house and a job, too.
I never understood his meaning by that. His parents had purchased us the home and everything in it.
We hadn’t had any bills to speak of, we’d only been married those few months.
It wasn’t until after I’d had Harri that I realized that he wasn’t very mature for a twenty something year old man.
And his parents ruled him pretty hard. I think that’s why he wanted to get out on his own.
To be honest, I don’t think it would have lasted between us.
I was too young to be the adult in the relationship, and he was too young to be the adult. ”
Harri came back with one of the toys, and she told her that they had to stay with the others. She wanted to purchase it for herself, and Anna looked at the price tag and then showed it to Harri.
“It’s one of those toys they put out so that parents will have to buy it for whiney kids.
Are you going to be a whiney kid?” Harri looked torn, but she said that she wasn’t going to be whiney.
“I’m very proud of you. If you can find something that you can put in your room that will remind you of this day, that would be good.
Otherwise, I’m not paying sixty dollars for a stuffed animal.
” When she went back to the toys, Zeno looked at her.
“I would have bought it just to see the smile on her face.” She said she wasn’t going to raise a child who thought that whinnying was the only way to get something that otherwise would be off limits.
“You’re very good at being a parent. I would have brought it all for her and been tapped out at the end of the day. ”
“She knows that we’re on a budget. We don’t buy unless it’s necessary or a treat.
I try very hard not to allow her too many of those, or they’re no longer a treat.
” He said that he understood. “Thank you. You said you wanted to talk to me. About what? I’ve made it clear that you don’t have to worry about us interrupting your life anymore. ”
“I’ve thought about having a mate since I was fifteen.
And even back then, I knew that she’d be taking over my life.
Not in a good way, but just making sure that I’d be right there with her all the time.
” He watched Harri play with the other kids.
“I especially didn’t want to have children because I knew that was going to be one more nail in my coffin for being the man that I thought I wanted to be. ”
“A playboy.” He grinned and told her that was it exactly. “I don’t see you as a playboy. You seem to have life just where you want it, and it might not necessarily mean you have women around all the time.”
“I thought that was the only other option open for me. I was either going to be a playboy, as you said, or a man who was married to one woman and never allowed to see anything else. I had it in my head that I was going to be shackled down with you all the time, and I’d not get to do the things that I wanted to do.
Now all I can think about is all the things that I get to see through you and Harri’s eyes.
” She said they weren’t going to be mates.
“I’d like for us to be. I’d like to start over with you and Harri and become the man that I really and truly am.
Not this bastard that made the two of you cry for no other reason than I thought you’d be in the way of me getting things done.
I don’t know where that thought came from. ”
“If all you’re doing this for is to appease your family, then I’d rather not have anything to do with you.
I’ve had one mama’s boy in my life, and I don’t need another.
He wasn’t a good man now that I’m older and can appreciate what we had.
He wanted a way out, and I was there for that to happen.
I’m not going to be your excuse for you to still be good with your family.
” He said that he could understand that.
He didn’t want that either. “Then what do you want? In the event you didn’t notice, Harri and I are getting along just fine without you in our lives, and we’ll continue to go on without you if you treat us the way you did. ”
“Are you saying that you’ll give me a chance to try and make it up to you?
” She said that she didn’t know what she was saying right now.
“I’ll take that. I promise you. You won’t have another problem with me so long as you live.
And I promise that if we ever have children, I’ll never treat Harri like anything but my own child if you’ll allow me to. ”
She thought about what he was saying and didn’t say.
He was getting pressure from his family, but he also seemed like he wanted to change.
So long as he could not hurt Harri, she knew that she could handle him for the next week.
After that, it wouldn’t matter anymore because she’d be on her own turf and wouldn’t have to be around him anymore.
“You have a week to get your act together.” He thanked her. “No need for that. If by the end of one week we aren’t madly in love, then we’ll go our separate ways. Just don’t hurt my daughter. Her tears tear me up inside.”
“I promise to do everything in my power to make neither one of you cry or be upset with me. And to make you both fall in love with me soon.” She thought that was a weird way to say it, but didn’t comment.
So long as he knew he would get his walking papers if he did anything, then she thought she could give him a chance.