Chapter 31
ZACH
Could really good sex result in vivid auditory hallucinations? Incredibly realistic ones where the love of your life tells you everything you’ve always wanted to hear?
The only other possibility was that Zach died in a freak accident on his walk home, and the past hour had been the result of his brain letting him down gently.
That had to be it. Because the alternative was that Miles was actually offering to abandon his entire life plan to move to Portland with Zach. And sure, Zach had offered the exact same thing a moment ago, but that hadn’t felt like much of a sacrifice.
He didn’t care where they were, as long as he had Miles.
He’d rather live in a shack in the middle of a wheat field with Miles than be alone in a big city.
In fact, he would choose Miles over the biggest and greatest cities in the world.
Over getting an MBA, over bustling art scenes and quirky bakeries with twenty different kinds of bread, over dance clubs, over sidewalks, over anything. He would sacrifice all of it.
Yet he’d never stopped to wonder what Miles was willing to sacrifice for Zach.
“Are you sure?” Zach whispered, a burst of hope flaring inside him. “It would make more sense for me to move back than for you to give up your plans.”
“They were never my plans, Zee. I went along with what my parents wanted, and it’s about time for me to step up and figure out what I want.” Miles leaned in and softly brushed their cheeks together, causing a swarm of butterflies to explode in Zach’s stomach.
“And this is what you want?”
“You are what I want. You and that rosemary focaccia. That’s all I need to be happy.”
A beat passed, then Zach burst out laughing, and Miles joined in, letting the tension dissipate.
There was a lot to discuss—how to deal with the year apart or their families’ reactions—but it could wait until later.
For now, all Zach wanted was to cuddle up to his best friend and get lost in their bubble.
They did that for the rest of the afternoon, taking a quick shower to clean up before lying in bed and talking about everything from Zach’s class to Max’s inability to get around on crutches.
They detoured to the couch to eat pizza and watch a movie on the laptop before another slow, sensuous make-out session.
Miles hadn’t mentioned leaving, and Zach didn’t want to ask outright, afraid of the answer. Miles hadn’t brought anything with him—no suitcase or even a backpack. All signs pointed to his imminent departure, so Zach clung to each moment they spent together.
As it neared bedtime, Zach tried to stifle the yawns, but they kept coming. He hadn’t been sleeping well, and the exhaustion was making itself known.
Miles noticed and nudged him with his elbow. “Let’s get ready for bed.”
Zach rushed through his nighttime routine and returned within ten minutes. Miles was already under the covers, and Zach turned off the lights before sliding next to him.
“Are you staying?” he asked.
“Just the night. I have an early flight.”
Zach pressed closer, desperate to take advantage of every single second they had before Miles was ripped away from him.
“I was hoping you’d stay longer,” he whispered into the darkness.
“Me too, Zee.” There was regret in Miles’s voice.
“This was the cheapest round-trip ticket. Ray’s been sitting on that website you recommended for the past week, and this was the best deal he could get.
I offered to drive, but that would have taken too long, and we’re still short-handed.
My dad’s lucky Ray isn’t into wedding planning, otherwise we’d be two workers down instead of one. ”
Zach understood why he had to go back, yet a selfish part of him still wished to have Miles entirely to himself. Despite the exhaustion, he stayed awake as long as he could, listening to Miles’s soft breathing.
At the crack of dawn, they got a ride to the airport, holding hands the entire way.
After watching the love of his life go through security and disappear into the crowd, Zach was fully prepared to feel depressed the entire way home, but Miles texted ten minutes later—a sweet I love you with multiple hearts—and Zach’s resolve to wallow in despair faded away.
They would see each other again in a few days, and while it would be an uphill slog to be separated for the next year, they would video chat every day and text and call as often as they could. They’d do whatever it took. Both of them were fully invested in making their relationship work.
For once, Zach was cautiously optimistic.
He got home and immediately booked a ticket for the weekend, wincing at the cost. He was lucky he had his work-study gig at the library next year, because the summer travel costs had eaten through his savings.
His budget had allowed for an occasional club visit and cheap takeout, not multiple flights and rental cars.
At this rate, he’d barely save enough tuition money to cover one graduate class.
Despite the hit to his wallet and the trepidation about seeing his family, not going wasn’t an option.
Besides being one of his only opportunities to see Miles in the foreseeable future, he was weirdly honored to be Raymond’s best man.
They barely knew each other, but they were intrinsically linked by their love for the Carter men and the short conversation that had ultimately been the catalyst for everything that had come to pass.
Zach would be forever grateful to Raymond for opening up to him. His words were meant to spare Zach a lifetime of pain, and he appreciated that more than he could say. The least he could do in return was stand up beside the man on the most important day of his life.