Chapter 7 Home
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Kit/Kat
We were extremely careful as we made our way to a bank of elevators opposite of the original set, and the guys got us in without fanfare.
I wish we could have gone further so I could see Rogue again, but I wasn’t kidding when I said I wanted to go home.
My social battery is on its last legs and the stress of worrying about someone outing me, someone attacking us, or any number of other terrible things happening is exhausting.
I’ve done exceptionally well for me, even when I had to tell Salem the truth in the middle of a battle, so I think I’ve earned some mental rest time.
Dottie hugs me as that thought runs through my head and I wonder again exactly how much my companion knows.
I’ll have to make them take me to that bestiary place this week to find out more, I guess.
“You called Hell your home, KK.”
I look at Zavida, smiling as he hugs his tails while we wait for the stupid Suber driver to arrive.
He’s been as naked as me without his coping mechanism, and since we’re in this damn serial killer spot again, I suppose it’s okay that he’s showing his demonic parts.
Obviously, the driver won’t give a shit, and I definitely don’t.
As long as Jasper doesn’t scold him, I think it’s fine for the nervous Kitsuné to comfort himself after all we’ve been through.
“None of the foster places were actually my home, so I’ve never had a real one.
Discordia is close enough, right? I’ve got a family, sort of, and a room…
That’s what defines it, right? A space where you can feel safe and people who mostly support you?
” I frown, not sure if I’ve understood the concept correctly now that he asked.
Oriel arches a brow at me, his brows furrowed. “Mostly?”
Jasper snorts, knowing what I mean by that, and I grin a little. “It’s a lot like ‘mostly dead’. Know what I mean?”
“You’re right about it being your home now,” Salem interjects, his eyes dancing with merriment. “Even if you’ve got a reluctant housemate giving you shit all the time, we’re your family, Kit Kat.”
The kisses from earlier make that description iffy, but I’ll let it go.
“Thanks,” I murmur as the car pulls up. “I’m still getting used to it, and to figuring out myself as I heal, but you guys help a lot. Truly.”
That makes almost all the demons in my caliphate smile wide, and the prince rolls his eyes with a huff.
I don’t care if he likes it or not; it’s true.
These guys have done more for me in the short time I’ve been in Hell than most people have done in my whole life, and I want them to know how much I appreciate it.
“Stop blubbering and get in the car, shrimp,” Jasper grumbles, and for once, I just follow his instructions. Surprisingly, he ruffles my hair as I do, and I have to swallow my shock as I find my place in the seats.
Miracles happen, and I think I just experienced one.
It takes another hour to get back to the portal and when we walk into the weird room from earlier in the day; I breathe an enormous sigh of relief.
The demons look at me with knowing looks and I flip them off, no longer able to keep the veneer of ‘good behavior’ up.
That doesn’t get me much more than chuckles, so I ignore them as we head back to the room.
I just need all the damn stress of being in my old world around dangerous people to fade, so the knots in my back will release.
I definitely could eat, too.
“Feeling hungry yet, KK?”
My head swivels slowly to look at Salem, my eyes wide as his question comes out at a very coincidental moment. “What?”
He grins, nodding at the ding of the elevator doors. “We’ll all change and get comfy, then I’ll whip up some stuff. It’s really tiring to be up there and I can only imagine how much you’ve burned yourself up having to juggle all the worries and anxiety. Not that you’d tell us that, of course.”
“Right,” I reply carefully. I don’t want Jasper to mock me, but the panda demon is definitely on the money with his assumptions. I’m tired, sore, confused, anxious, and really eager to get out of these ‘beautiful but way too fancy for me’ clothes. “What do we do with the… outfits?”
Xerxes gives me a stern look. “Put them in your laundry bag and bring it to the living room when you come out. I’m taking all the stuff to the laundry myself so I can instruct them on how to deal with the fancy shit. I’ll be damned if those dingbats are going to ruin Rigoletto originals.”
Thank fuck they knows what to do because I am fucking clueless about couture.
“Excellent plan, X,” Jasper says as he waits for Slash to hold the doors open. Once he does, we exit the carriage and I groan happily when we reach my door. “You really are happy to be back, hmm?”
I give him an incredulous look. “Of fucking course I am. This day was stuffed to the gills with crap I despise: danger, bad guys, fancy clothes, behaving, starving, and listening to you. If you added in much else, you’d have to dip into trauma to make it worse.
I just want to get into my jammies and curl up in my chair, while I wolf down everything not nailed down. ”
The prince nods, tilting his head. “Your appetite is getting stronger. I suspect that is because more of your powers are developing, which is good. If we can encourage that, it will help immensely.”
My lips curve up as Zavida takes his hand, looking pleased as he tugs the bigger demon away from my dorm. He winks at me before he murmurs, “Let’s go, Jas. We should get cleaned up so we can eat. Even you have to be hungry after such a long time on the surface.”
That gets the asshole’s attention, and he smirks wickedly as he follows the Kitsuné’s lead. “Yes, I believe I am… hungry.”
For the love of frilly bathrobes, now I’m going to be imagining that…
“Aw, KK, your face is getting red again,” Salem chuckles as he opens our door. “Don’t worry, if they run over a bit, we won’t wait for them. Jasper can get lost in his… devouring sometimes.”
“Shut. Up.” I put my hands on my face and scurry into our room as the others laugh and head for their own rooms. The teasing is even weirder now that two people know my secret; they know that I’m feeling girly about the two of them getting naked in there.
“You’re going to give me away if you’re not careful, you know. ”
Salem rolls his eyes at me as we drop our bags at the entrance, shaking his head.
“Firecracker, I can guarantee a few things for you. One, I won’t be the one to give you away before you’re ready.
Two, until he’s looking for it, Jasper will never see the truth because he’s too busy worrying about you having other secrets.
And three, the one you should worry about is Slash.
That dude sees way more than anyone realizes. ”
I blink at the panda, dumbfounded by his very astute summation. “You’re probably right. X won’t give me away because he was worried from the beginning that I was trans and he’d be outing me. The others may notice weird things, but right now, they’re chalking it up to being human raised.”
“Bingo,” he says as shoots a finger-gun at me. “So we’ll carefully navigate how to keep you under wraps until you’re ready to give up the goods—or you don’t have a choice, whichever comes first.”
That makes my teeth grind, but he’s right.
“Yeah,” I breathe as I walk towards the door to my bedroom. “I’m gonna change and put things away like X requested, then I’ll come out here so we can chat until everyone else gets here. Is that okay?”
“Aces, dude…ette.” Salem laughs and I roll my eyes at him as he opens his door. “Don’t get all worked up about it, okay? I really meant it when I said I’m not upset, and I definitely meant it when I said I’m all in. So… take it easy on yourself in there.”
Damn him for knowing me that well.
“Okay,” I murmur as I slip into my room. “Thanks, Salem.”
When I shut the door, I trudge over to my dresser and look in the mirror.
I look like I’ve been through it, and I guess that’s because I need to fuel up or whatever.
Dottie makes a beeline for her perch, stuffing some of her feed in her mouth as she watches me peel my clothes off.
I groan when I peel the binding off, so happy to have it loose despite the waffling on my skin from keeping it so tight for so long.
One thing I have to do now that we’re back is get Xerxes to hop on the replacements for the real binders.
I’m not gonna last with this damn gauze shit.
“Put it on the list, Kat,” I mutter as I dig out a sweatshirt and pants from the bags X brought this morning.
At the very least, these have boxer briefs and regular lounge stuff, plus my uniforms. I’ll need that for Monday, and they got enough that if I’m fucked up again, I should be good for seven days.
“Smart, smart cobra. They don’t give them or Salem enough credit. ”
Dottie pumps her fist, chittering her agreement, and I smile. She really loves most of the guys and the others, she’s just getting to know slowly. I like that; it makes me feel good that my emotional support kinkajou has bonded with the demons who are becoming my found family.
“Salem will have fresh snacks for you, girl. Don’t fill up on the seeds and stuff. You’ll want the fruit.” My warning makes her pause with puffed-out cheeks full of food and I laugh softly. “Or eat whatever, just don’t vomit anywhere.”
That seems to work for Dottie, so I turn back to my dirty pile and stuff it in the laundry bag from the closet. It has other shit in it, too, but if X will send it all to the cleaners, I won’t complain. I have no idea how that system works and they all keep telling me to let them handle things.
Does it matter if it’s my stinky socks? I think not.
“KK, I’m out here working in the kitchen. Ollie, Ollie, oxen-free.” Salem’s cheery voice makes my heart thump, and I have to blow out a slow breath to calm it.
“Be cool, Kat. He’s super hot. He knows you’re a girl, he likes you anyway, and he cooks for you. Most people would die on the spot to have that, and you cannot let the past fuck this up. Breathe, take it slow, and let him lead. You can trust Salem.”
My pulse doesn’t agree, but luckily, my kinkajou does.
Dottie scampers off her perch and up my leg to sit on my shoulder.
She looks at me seriously—as much as a small bear-rat can—and I know she wants me to understand that she thinks Salem is okay, too.
Her soft chittering seals the deal, and I scritch her head gently.
“I know, girl. It’s just hard, but I want to try.
That’s new—I’ve never wanted to heal as much as I do now. I think it means I’m ready, right?”
I chuckle as she responds in her typical fashion, then look at the door to my room.
When I go out there, we’re going to talk and that’s when everything will become ‘real’.
But I’m pretty sure I’m ready for it, and if I’m not?
I’m also certain that Salem and X will help me.
Not that Xerxes has really… Well, whatever.
It’s all jumbled up, but I know the cobra will help me figure things out.
All I have to do now is just open that door and leave this room—which is harder than expected.