Chapter 19 Love To Hate Me
Love To Hate Me
Kit/Kat
Oriel’s declaration made me feel like crumbling and a bit like I could fly, which totally fucked with my ability to process.
He didn’t seem surprised, though, and we spent the rest of our free periods snacking on the food he’d squirreled away for me while I sat in the circle of his arms. I worried he would be upset that we weren’t…
exploring… but he seemed content to talk about his hoard, pointing to various sections with glee.
It helped me center myself—both the food and the gentle support.
By the time we finished and O led me out of the weird magical pocket, I was settled and able to grab his hand to lace our fingers together. That made him light up with happiness, his dark features full of a joy that was in direct contrast with his goth-y appearance.
“KK, this was the best lunch I’ve had in a long ass time,” he says as we make our way out of the maze that he took me down to get to his secret spot. “I’m glad I demanded to whisk you away, even if it pissed His Royal Pissypants off.”
I frown, tilting my head to look at him in confusion. “Why the fuck would Jasper give a shit if you wanted to hang at lunch? I’m his least favorite student in the entire place most days. I’d think he would be happy to see the back of me.”
The crow demon tsks, shaking his head as we leave the building, heading into the main quad on our way to the arena.
“Little shadow, I don’t think I can answer that question any better than he could.
Jasper has deep-rooted issues around expressing anything outside of anger.
That was the only thing rewarded positively in his house, and he learned to embrace it as self-defense. ”
Jasper’s shitty home life was evident when I met his father, but I can’t ask Oriel to betray his trust by explaining further—it’s not fair.
“I don’t think anyone with an ounce of awareness could miss that,” I reply with a sigh. “But the dude hates me, despite knowing I’m not a spy or a plant. Honestly, other than my dickhead foster brothers, I’ve never met anyone who pushes my buttons this hard.”
“Hmmm,” O replies as we cross the last part of the main area and head to what will surely be the scene of a disaster or my humiliation as always. “I don’t think those two reactions are the same.”
Snorting, I pull Dottie out of my bag, letting her climb to my shoulder and get some fresh air.
She napped most of our sojourn to his hoard, and I’ll want her alert while I’m on the field for Weapons they’re not the best method and it’s hot as fuck being mummy-wrapped with this stuff.
I look down at myself, noting that the potion Dank gave me is working.
The kindly demon’s ‘girly bits’ potion has kept me from being scented—at least, by the demons here—and hiding the sparkling kawaii tattoos that popped up after the damn initiation.
I didn’t realize it would serve double duty, but the fiery headed doctor refused to tell me why the damn things disappeared after a week of taking his meds.
He simply said that the potion was crafted to conceal all traits that would identify me as a demon capable of reproduction.
Whatever the fuck that meant, I can’t tell you.
I can, however, state that having what feels like the best engineered sports bra in existence holding me in place under my gym shit is light years better than the gauze.
I could kiss Oriel—you know, again—for thinking of it, despite the bump his squirrel moment caused.
Dottie chitters on my shoulder as we walk out of the locked room to face the dudes, and I almost laugh at her agreement.
That is, until I come face-to-face with half-naked caliphate members and I have to scramble away before I embarrass the shit out of myself.
“Okay, Kit, you’re gonna have to rein it in,” I mutter to myself as I make a beeline for the field without them. “Especially because of the… stuff… with two of them.”
Ignoring everyone else as usual, I take a seat on the farthest bench with my kinkajou.
Dottie perches on my knee, giving me a knowing look that I can’t decide if I’m misinterpreting.
My voice is too low for most to hear as I say, “Don’t judge me, Dottie.
You’ve seen it. I mean, even the tiny Kitsuné is muscled, and it’s ridiculous how fit X is when they’re not clothed.
You’d never know. And yes, I feel like a creeper, so shut up. ”
She just looks at me with wide eyes, and I press my palms into my eyes to rub them in frustration.
If only that could remove the image of my guys topless, that would be amazing.
But alas, it doesn’t, and when Salem, Oriel, X, Annie, and Zav emerge from the locker room, I want to sink into the earth like a worm.
Every cell in my body sings and sparkles, distracting me enough that I miss the looming shadow standing over me until he growls.
“Why are you sitting by yourself? Didn’t we discuss the rules?”
I am not in the mood for Jasper’s bullshit at the moment; I am having a crisis of hormones.
“Fuck off, Jasper.” That’s all I got right now. My brain is way off the track, whizzing around in a combo of panic, desire, confusion, and embarrassment that trumps the prince’s pissiness.
The frown he gives me is so severe that I feel it despite not looking at him. “That’s it?”
My head whips up and I glare at him murderously. “Yes.”
“What the hell did Bloodstone do to you? I’m going to beat the absolute—”
Huh?
Before I can stop myself, my hand shoots out, grabbing the prince’s wrist before he stalks over to Oriel to do whatever he’s threatening. “Stop.”
The heat coming off of him in waves surprises me, but I guess it shouldn't. He is a dragon, after all, and though I don’t remember a lot of what happened when he intervened in the study room, I have touched him before. In fact, that’s when I—
Oh, no.
Jasper looks at me in terror as the heat intensifies where my hand is clutching his arm, and I blink rapidly.
A low snarl echoes out of his chest, then he wrenches himself away, his eyes full of flames.
I realize that’s his dragon, but I don’t know why his dragon would be angry at me.
I just wanted to explain, so he didn’t lose his shit, and now it looks like I’ve made him even angrier. That’s not good at all.
“Don’t. Touch. Me.”
Licking my lips, I nod mutely as the other guys arrive. Their faces fall as they catch the vibe between Jasper and me, especially Zavida. He immediately heads for the royal, cozying up to the furious dragon. That seems to help, but the looks on Annie, O, X, and Salem’s faces aren’t encouraging.
“Hey, guys. Um, sorry I came out without you. Jasper already scolded me, so uh… no need,” I mutter as I look at the ground.
I don’t know why, but there’s something deep inside of me squeezing my airways and even though it’s not a panic attack, I feel like I can’t breathe.
I force the air out in a fake cough as Dottie scrambles up to my shoulder, putting her tiny arms around my neck.
“You okay, KK?” Salem asks carefully.
Nodding, I squash all the rioting emotions inside of me down, imagining they’re at the soles of my feet so I can walk on them like I did back home.
When it feels like I can speak, I lift my head to give the panda a smile that I hope doesn’t look as fake as it is.
“A-okay, man. We had a good lunch and now I’m ready to have something shitty happen that sends me to the infirmary. I mean… I’m ready for class.”
That gets laughs from everyone but the Pissy Prince, who huffs loudly before extracting himself from Zav’s grip. “If you can’t handle classes, there’s no way you’ll be able to handle the Games, shrimp. Toughen up.”
With that unhelpful advice, he stalks off to stand in front of the line-up space on the field and roars his instruction for the class to begin.
All the demons line up, even me, and I look down the line nervously.
Whether he’s being a jackass or not, Jasper isn’t wrong about the Games.
I’m getting better at a lot of stuff, but every time we make progress, a big ass distraction knocks us off-kilter and we lose focus.
So much so that I realize I don’t even know anyone in this damn school other than my caliphate, some staff, the bullies in class, and Dank.
How would I even know who can do what and how to strategize about their teams if I don’t know their names or species?
My revelation makes me groan internally.
Between hiding my secret and my issues, I’ve been consumed by fitting in with the guys who semi-adopted me.
That’s good, but if I don’t have a damn clue who is operating around us, then I won’t have the same ability to use my brains as I did at Woodlawn.
Until my demon shit is under control, all I have is my brains.
I have to pay attention to the other people at Discordia, especially because I have an outsider’s perspective.
Otherwise, it won’t matter if Jasper crushes me under his boot… because we’re going to get killed.