Chapter 33 #2
I turn to face my partner, wide grin in place.
We've never had a meeting in the conference room before.
We've only ever seen our name on the board under the tasks we had been assigned all day.
That board is the only way I've known what he's been up to, and there's a very real chance that we might've spoken to each other sooner if we weren't given the ability to see what the other one has been up to.
He watches me, and not in a way that makes me think that he's wondering why I'm so happy.
He has to know that this is a step in the right direction.
We know they've had meetings since we've been here.
We've seen the guys walk by the front office, where the task board is hung, toward the conference room.
Getting an invite to the meeting means we're closer to the inner circle today than we were yesterday.
I tilt my head to the side, confused at the look on his face.
When he gives me a sad smile and silently holds out his hand, my first instinct is to grab it and step right into him.
My heart clenches, telling me that I have to be careful.
He has hurt me more than I think his fists on my skin would, and giving in to him right now is no different from an abused woman thinking her man is going to change.
I swallow and shake my head, a burn of unshed tears behind my eyes.
He pulls in a deep breath, releasing it on a sigh, but there's no frustration in the action. He knows he fucked up.
What I don't know is whether those fuckups will keep happening. It's one thing to make a mistake and ask forgiveness. I'm not one to hold a grudge if someone makes a genuine mistake and needs redemption.
I can't trust that he won't keep making mistakes, which makes me a fool for stepping into him each time he does, hoping he'll change this time.
I glare at him, my mind getting away from me once again.
There's no us.
There's no chance we'll be anything other than two men preferring a sexual release from each other.
There's more value in me than in being that person for him.
If that's what we both wanted, there would be no problem simply hooking up, but he's always been more to me than that.
Maybe I'm living in a fantasy land. Maybe I've been trying to heal some unworthiness I've felt where he's concerned because of how he left things all those years ago.
My mind glitches, taking me on a different path as I stare down at his proffered hand.
Maybe there's nothing sexual in the way he's reaching for me. Maybe he knows how much that has to have hurt me.
Maybe he's just being human for the first fucking time in his life, and he's trying to make it right.
I place my hand in his, feeling weaker than I've ever been in my life, unable to resist his offer.
He pulls me to his chest, his warm arms encircling me.
I sink into him as if the last two weeks haven't been torture.
He pulls one out from around me, curling his finger under my chin. His thumb swipes at the first tear of weakness that has the audacity to roll down my cheek.
In the next breath, he leans down to kiss me.
I'm frozen in place when the door to our cabin swings open for a second time.
Zeus pats me on the back in a brotherly way before stepping back.
I turn to face the intruder, hating the way Scott's eyes narrow as he glances between the two of us.
"He just found out his mom died," Zeus lies.
"Aw fuck, man. Sorry," he says, a look of what I read as genuine sympathy in his tone.
I swipe at tears on my cheeks, unsure of what else to do.
I'm usually so much better than this while undercover. This man has gotten my head so fucked up, I can't even think on the fly any longer. Not being able to do so is fucking deadly.
"She was a bitch," I manage.
"But still your mom," Scott says as if he has lived the same story.
"Did you need something?" Zeus asks as he crosses the room to sit on the little sofa.
"Wanted to tell you both to wear clothes you don't mind ruining today," he says.
"Got it," I say, clearing my throat. "Thanks for the heads-up."
Scott looks between the two of us a second time before walking back out and closing the door behind him.
I turn and stare at Zeus. I don't know where we go from here. Do we attempt to get out? Do I use the stashed burner phone to contact Cerberus and ask for advice? Do we simply show up at the meeting and presume that everything is fine?
Did Scott believe our story?
Is he too high to even consider something other than the lie that was told?
Have we given him any other clues to think in the direction that would lead him to the truth?
He looks back up at me, a slight shake of his head.
"We're fine," he mouths.
I dip my head, wanting to believe it, needing to believe that one second of weakness on my part, my inability to reject him, will lead to not only the women here not being rescued, but also our deaths.
I look toward my duffel bag, knowing the burner phone is in there, and back to Zeus.
He shakes his head, once again mouthing those two words of assurance.
I want to believe that he's trusting his gut and that it's not his ego that's making him believe that we didn't just fuck up so royally that we're going to be walking into a meeting thinking everything is fine when it's really just the beginning of our end.
I pull in another deep breath.
"Think we could get some time to go to the funeral?" Zeus asks, giving more life to his lie, despite there being no conversation prior to Scott barging in here, that it's the truth.
"I don't even want to go. Just fucking drop it," I say, letting him know that we need to put an end to the entire conversation.
The best outcome is Scott forgetting what he saw and heard, or thinking that telling people about my poor, dead mother is a waste of his time. They don't really seem like the type of people to gather around a suffering member, so maybe the lie stays between the three of us.
"Sounds good," he says as he stands. "Let's get ready for this meeting."
"What do you think we'll be doing that we need clothes we can ruin?" I ask, releasing a breath and trying to calm down.
"No clue," he says as he steps around me, giving me a wide berth as if he's scared Scott is going to pop his head into the cabin a third fucking time just to try and catch us doing something wrong. "Probably something with shovels and sewer."
I scrunch my nose and fake a cough.
"Yeah," he says as he pulls clothes from his duffel. "That's not gonna work."
I feel no less calm as we walk toward Bobby's area of the compound. But I do have enough experience working under pressure that I'm certain there are no external clues in my behavior that would make anyone suspicious.
I wave to people as I pass and stop to talk to Chris when he walks toward us.
"Have a good night?" he asks, glancing between Zeus and me.
I know that Zeus is sticking close because of what we might be facing. He'd usually walk ahead of me, his refusal to wait for anyone a part of the role he's playing.
"Why do you ask?"
He looks back at me, pulling his eyes off Zeus as if he's curious about the man, but would never be brave enough to ask him questions.
"Sable," he whispers as he leans in closer. "Heard it was a good night... for both of you."
"Word travels fast," I say, chuckling uneasily.
If they're talking about last night, then either someone who was listening is chattering about it, or Sable was put in a position that she had to talk about it with someone. Either way, it puts a spotlight on us that won't bring anything but bad news.
"What kind of man asks another man how he fucked," Zeus growls.
I fight a grin when Chris takes a step back at the ire in my partner's voice.
He holds his hands up near his ears, a terrified look in his eyes.
I simply tilt my head, reinforcing the question when Chris looks my way, as if I'll save him.
"J-Just m-making conversation," he stutters.
"Well, don't," Zeus says before he turns to walk again.
I follow after him, not giving a single reassuring word to the man. Maybe he'll tell people not to talk about it, or Lyle will kill them, and that suits me just fine.
We step inside the building. That fucking crown painted outside still gets on my fucking nerves even though I've seen it every day for the last three weeks.
We get no weird looks other than the guys standing in the front office when we walk past for our meeting, and I know we only have their attention because they're surprised we're not joining them to get our task list for the day.
The conference room is full of other men, so there's nowhere for us to sit.
I head toward Rodney and Chet, the guys I've been chatting up at meals.
Zeus heads to a corner alone, as is expected of him.
Keeping even a minimal degree of separation works for us in two ways. It keeps any chatter about what Scott saw in check, and it also gives us an advantage if there's trouble. Now they have to worry about focusing on two different targets rather than if we were standing side by side.
"First meeting?" Chet asks, a wide grin on his face as if he's just as excited for me as I should feel for myself.
"First meeting," I confirm.
"You deserve to be here," Rodney adds. "The inner fucking circle, man. Welcome."
I haven't outright spoken my desires to be included, but I've hinted at it many times. I don't know if these two guys are the reason we've been included today, but I'm grateful for the opportunity to get a closer look at the organization's inner workings.
Chatter dies down when Bobby walks into the room, and I do my best to fight the urge to get the fuck out of Dodge when Scott walks in right behind him, making me believe that they were together right before they showed up.
"It seems we have a fucking problem," Bobby says, wasting no time getting to the front of the room.
My blood runs cold, but I don't risk a suspicious look in Zeus's direction. Instead, my attention is drawn to the man closing the conference room doors. The thud of its sound jolts my body.
"Who wants to tell me what the fucking problem is?" Bobby asks, his voice demanding as he looks around the room.
He doesn't stare at any single person longer than the other, but his eyes land on both Zeus and me at some point.
The men in the room shift their weight as if each of them either has a secret to share or is feeling really fucking sorry for whoever has a confession to make.
"You know what happens when you don't confess," Bobby growls, giving the confessor one last chance to speak up.
I look around the room, my eyes holding Zeus's for a few seconds, just long enough to see the slight shake of his head. He isn't even looking in my direction, but I know the action is meant for me.
Hold tight, he's saying. We're good.
"Fucking speak!" Bobby roars.
"I… ummm," Billy says, his hands wringing in front of him.
"Yes?" Bobby prods, his voice sinister and full of vengeful justice.
"I w-was going to bring her h-here," Billy continues.
"But you didn't," Bobby interrupts. "You didn't. Tell everyone what you've been up to, Little Billy."
"I only fucked her twice," he says.
"Two times too many for the rules," Bobby clarifies.
"Yes, sir," he mutters, his head dropping in shame. "Won't happen again."
"I know for a fucking fact it won't happen again," Bobby says, his voice turning calm in the most chilling way. "Especially not with Roxie."
Fuck. My. Life.
Roxie... the name he gave Melody at The Garage.
Billy looks terrified, his eyes sweeping to Zeus as if he's to blame for suggesting that if they want a girl, they just hide her from the people at the compound.
"What happens to me now?" Billy manages, not an ounce of concern for the girl he may have already gotten killed.
"I haven't fucking decided, but you don't leave the compound until I do," Bobby mutters. "Now, let's get back to regular business. Shall we?"
Tension releases in every man's shoulders, making it very clear that they suspected Bobby might confront any one of them today. Billy isn't the only man in the room with sins to confess.