Chapter 2
CHAPTER
TWO
KENNEDY
The waitress slides Hart’s plate in front of him before turning to me. Caroline holds eye contact for a beat too long, then blushes and sets down my order.
“There you go, Kenny,” she says, smile curling prettily, and my gut does that little whoosh thing.
My lips tug upward in return, which pulls a cute giggle from her, and a long, loud sigh from my brother.
She walks away, and I turn to him.
“What?”
Hart takes his time dipping a fry into the pile of ketchup on his plate before answering in a bored voice, “Just wondering how long it will be before you declare her my new sister-in-law.”
“Don’t be dramatic.”
“Dramatic? This might be the longest relationship you’ve ever had.”
I know he’s exaggerating for effect, but I can’t deny that he has a point.
We’ve been coming to this same diner in Wayward a few times a week since we got to Wilde’s End, and Caroline has worked most of those days.
When I’m interested in someone, I normally ask them out right away, and by the second date …
No. Nope. Can’t do it. I’m not going there again. Every time I think I’ve found someone amazing, I come on too strong and scare them off. Wilde’s End is in the middle of nowhere, and we have a big job ahead of us, even with how much we’ve done already.
Surely being out here is the one time I can escape dating and love and instead focus on accomplishing something.
When I return home, then I can think about relationships again.
I level my twin with the most serious look I can manage. “No relationship. I’m off dating, remember?”
The mocking expression he wears as he continues to eat his fries shows how much he believes me.
“I’m serious this time.”
“The fact you need to say this time gives me a pass for not believing you.”
I can’t argue with him. I want to, but I can’t. “You’ll see.”
“Maybe.” He stabs at the side salad that’s mostly lettuce and some tomato. “I’m still waiting for you and Hudson to get bored of this place and move home, and it hasn’t happened yet.”
Not that Hudson didn’t try. Last week, when it looked like the wild man he’d been sleeping with wanted to end their arrangement, he’d taken off.
They’ve worked things out now, but damn, that had been a long two days between when he left and when he came back.
Our older brother has always been terrible with making decisions, and it wasn’t my place to interfere, but asking someone to treat your sibling right shouldn’t be that much of an issue.
I love Hudson and want the best for him.
Hartwell too.
Sometimes it feels like out of the three of us, I’m the only one who actually wants to be happy.
Wilde and Hudson are … dating now? If you can call fucking like rabbits and grunting at each other dating, and while I don’t believe it’s serious or going to last, I’ve already said my piece and need to leave it at that.
Sometimes I feel so much that when I’m upset, it’s world-ending.
It’s why my brothers are over all of the breakups.
But the heightened emotion isn’t only for me; it’s for everyone in my life.
When I love someone—romantic or platonic—I want to do everything in my power to make sure they’re living their happiest life, and if they’re not …
sometimes it’s like I can’t breathe under the weight of it all.
Like I’ve failed at the one thing I’m good at.
“Oh no …” Hart monotones around the food in his mouth. “I’m ninety percent sure she’s bringing you her number.”
My body is at war with itself as I perk up at the same time as regret floods me. Under any other circumstances, I’d be interested, but I’ve promised myself, dammit.
“Hey,” Caroline says, warm brown stare focused on the tile floor. “I wanted to give you this. Use it, don’t use it, I … yeah.” She drops the paper on the table and hurries away like she’s ready for the floor to swallow her whole.
My respect for her is through the roof because how brave is she? Clearly nervous but came over anyway. I pick up the paper, and Hart was right: her number is scrawled under her name, dotted with a heart.
“You called it,” I tell him.
The handwriting taunts my vision until Hart groans and pulls my attention back to him.
“Can you go anywhere without someone wanting to sleep with you?”
I shrug and stuff the number into my pocket. “We’re good-looking guys.”
“I look nothing like you.”
“We’re identical twins. You know what identical means.
” Though there is something to his comment.
I did heavy weights before moving here, and between eating enough to keep my energy up and how heavy I was lifting, I’m a solid motherfucker.
I’m thick, where Hart is our natural, wiry build.
He also refuses to grow facial hair, and my mustache is one of my favorite things because of how positively my partners react to it.
We ignore each other and eat in silence.
It hasn’t always been like this. Growing up, we had each other’s backs, even though we’re so different, and we shared an apartment together before we moved here.
But over the years, it’s like Hart has gotten more bitter, and I’ve gotten more hopeful, and that common ground we used to meet on is now on a separate continent.
I miss the days when my brothers and I were fiercely on each other’s side. When it was the three of us against the world.
Some days, I wonder if that’s why I’m so quick to latch onto people. That I’m looking for that partnership I’ve lost and desperately crave.
It’s why, as much as I’d like to call Caroline, I won’t. It’s time to focus on myself for a bit.
“I’m going to go talk to her,” I tell Hart, and at his of course you are eye roll, I add, “So she knows why I won’t call. I don’t want her waiting and thinking she did anything wrong.”
“You have no obligation just because she gave you her number.”
“I know that.” It isn’t about obligation; it’s about making sure she doesn’t get her feelings hurt. “But I want to anyway.”
“Ten bucks says you’ve named all your future children before you’ve gotten back to the table.”
I don’t give him the benefit of an answer as I leave my empty plate behind and approach where Caroline is behind the counter. She’s restocking the display, and the second she notices me, her face lights up.
“Hey,” she says. “Do you need anything?”
“Yeah, uh, do you have a second?” I tilt my head toward a quieter corner.
“Of course.” She hurries to meet me on the customer side, and I lead her away from the other people here, guilt gnawing away at my insides.
“I wanted to tell you that I’m not going to call you.” The second her face falls, I quickly clarify. “Not that I don’t want to! You’re very pretty and sweet, and I think it’s so cool that you gave me your number.”
Her disappointment turns to confusion. “I don’t understand.”
“I’m …” I scrunch up my face, already knowing how this is going to sound before I even say it. “Working on myself. That’s not some bullshit excuse either. My brothers and I bought that small town—Wilde’s End?”
She nods that she knows it.
“It’s a lot of work, and it’s far away. We don’t get much reception up there either, and I have a bad habit of dating someone and getting too attached too soon, so I decided that while we’re here, the town is my only focus.
No relationships. No dating. No numbers.
” I pull the paper out and hold it up between us.
“I wanted you to know that it wasn’t anything you did. ”
“Right …” She takes the paper from me. “This isn’t just you, like, letting me down easy?”
“No, really. Back home, you’re exactly the kind of girl I’d go for.”
Her sweet smile is back. “In that case, I’m going to take it as a not right now.”
You know what? I don’t hate it. “Do whatever you need to as long as you know that I’m not promising you anything, and I have absolutely no idea how long this build is going to take us.”
“I get the feeling you’re the kind of guy worth waiting on.”
Well, if that doesn’t make me feel like a giant inflatable, I don’t know what will.
I’m grinning as I leave her behind and rejoin Hart.
“Let me guess,” he drags out in a flat voice. “She’s pregnant?”
I shake my head and throw some money on the table. “One day, you’ll be happy, and I can’t wait to tease you endlessly about it.”
“One day, I’ll be dead. You gonna tease me about that too?”
He’s looking for a bite, and I refuse. I’m not Hudson, who’d latch onto that and say something equally as fucked-up back.
I’m the mediator.
And I’m tired.
All I want is for everyone to be happy.
Is that so much to ask?