CHAPTER 3
“I thought you were going to wait until I got here before you started cooking, Ma,” I say as I step into the kitchen at my mother’s house.
“Girl, do you know how long it takes for collard greens to cook? I had to put them on already.”
“Okay, then I’ll get started on the macaroni.”
I go to the sink and wash my hands, then dry them off on a towel near the sink. Cooking with my mother is one of the things I’ve enjoyed doing since I was a child. She made it a point to show me how to cook – said I wasn’t going to get a man making boiled hotdogs and fried bologna. Like a man can’t learn how to cook for his woman…
And a fried bologna sandwich ain’t never hurt nobody, but that’s another topic for another day.
I believe it’s tradition for all Southern mothers to show their daughters how to cook and do all the home economic stuff. I love doing those things. It keeps me humble, grounded and feminine. I’m happy that I know how to cook so I don’t have to live off the fattening American diet. I typically avoid fast foods, and if I’m craving something, I just figure out how to make a healthy version of it. But this bacon mac and cheese – well, there ain’t no shortcut for this. It’s cheesy, bacon goodness, and it is what it is. I won’t sidestep this dish for no healthy alternative. That’s just—well—WRONG.
“What else are you making, Myra?” Mom asks as she stirs the greens.
“Honey cornbread and I marinated some lamb chops last night. They’re in that glass bowl over there. I’m going to sear them before they go in the oven. By the way, did you bake some chicken?”
“It’s in the oven now, but it’s almost time for them to come out.”
“What kind?”
“Barbecue.”
“Good,” I say as I grate cheese. “It feels like we’re cooking for a whole family dinner when Zander and Alyssa ain’t even coming.”
“Yeah, he said they had prior arrangements, and that’s okay. This wasn’t official—just a last-minute thing.”
“Still would’ve been nice if they could make it, though.”
“With us, there are plenty of other occasions.”
“Of course.”
“Maybe by the next dinner, you’ll have a special someone in your life.”
“How do you know that I don’t already have one?”
“Because I know you, and you would be glowing if you were in love.”
“Excuse me?” I say and place a hand on my chest. “Are you trying to say I’m not glowing now?”
“Well, you are, sugar, but it’s a different kind of glow.”
“School me, Mother. What kind of glow am I lacking since I’m manless ?”
She chuckles. “Manless…I ain’t got time for your shenanigans today, Myra.”
“No. Tell me. You started this discussion.”
“Okay, well, when a woman is in love, her glow is warm and it emanates to those around her. She has a presence that makes people around her feel better about themselves. When you’re not in love, the glow is radiant—the kind that only speaks to your beauty—not your relationship status. And you are beautiful, Zimyra—just like your mother.”
“You got that right.”
I place a pot of water on the stove for the noodles and while waiting for it to come to a boil, I take out a frying pan for the lamb chops. I know my way around my mother’s kitchen like it was my own.
She says, “So, do you have any prospects?”
“Um, that will be a hard no , Mother.”
“Why not, dear?”
I shrug. I don’t want to tell her the real reason why, since I don’t want her to think that her life experiences have shaped mine, but they have. Our father had two families. It’s a contentious topic every time somebody brings it up. Zander is especially sensitive to it, even more so than Mom is. Dad was good to us kids and neglected his other family. Then, at the times he saw them, he neglected us. He was in love with two women – something I can’t fathom, because how can you be in love with two people at the same time? Isn’t that impossible? Like, what corner of the universe did that spring from because it sure wasn’t the Garden of Eden? If I ever started dating, he has to know it’s me and nobody else. But it’s not something I want. My own father wasn’t faithful to my mother and, dare I say he was a decent man. These men today ain’t worth five cents. Well, most of them.
“You don’t have a reason?”
“I’m just doing me right now, Ma.”
“Yeah, right. What does that even mean? Doing me ?”
“It means I’m focused on myself, my goals, my life. My path.”
“What path is that, exactly?”
“I have a plan. You want to hear it?”
“Sure. I’m all ears.”
“Okay, so I’ve been at this company for a little over a year, and I don’t plan on staying another full year. I’ve been studying interior design on the side because in a few months, I plan on launching my own company. First, I need to know the ins and outs of the business side of the business. I need a business name, a website, an LLC – all that stuff.”
“I’m glad to hear that, but I must say—you already have what it takes. You don’t need any more classes. Look what you did to Alyssa’s store. Look at what you did to your apartment. You’ve always had an eye for detail and design. Your father used to tell me that when you were younger. He’d show you how to draw something, and you’d get it on the first try. You have a gift.”
“Thanks for saying that, Ma.”
“You’re welcome.”
“And you know what else?”
“What’s that?”
“I would love to see you fall in love.”
“Ma—”
“Wait, hear me out. If your brothers could find wives, then there’s no reason you can’t find a suitable husband.”
“First of all, Zander married his best friend, so that was convenient. We all knew he’d end up with Alyssa. Zavier met Nykendy while he was working.”
“And you can meet a man while you’re working. You get a lot of people going through there, right?”
I grin at her question. I had a fine man come through today, but his little stunt left a bad taste in my mouth and had me looking at him sideways.
I tell her, “It’s different for me.”
“How so?”
“I—I’m just not there yet, Ma. Let’s just leave it at that.”
The doorbell saves me from this conversation. I go answer it and see my nephew Kaden first, holding his favorite toy.
“Hey, y’all! Hey, Kaden.”
I pick him up and kiss him on the cheek.
“You see that, sweetheart. She doesn’t even acknowledge her brother anymore,” Zavier says.
“I do acknowledge you. Kaden is just so much cuter. How are you, Kendy?”
“I’m good, and I’m going to be great in a minute. It smells good up in here!”
“Yeah, it does,” Zavier says. “Where’s my Mother?”
“I’m in here, Zavier.”
I walk into the kitchen with Kaden in my arms. When he sees his grandma – the woman who spoils him rotten – his eyes brighten.
“Grandma,” he says, wiggling out of my arms and running over to her with those little legs of his. Preschool and speech therapy are doing wonders for his speech.
“Hey, baby. How’s grandma’s cutie pie? Huh? Are you doing good?”
“Yes.”
“Hey, Ma,” Zavier says, then kisses her on the cheek.
“Hey, son. How you doing, Nykendy?”
“I’m doing good, Ms. Zayda,” she tells her and steps up to give her a hug. “I hope you are, too.”
“I am now that my family is here. I love y’all.”
“We love you, too, Ma,” Zavier says. “Y’all got it smelling good up in here.”
“You know that’s one thing we know how to do is cook,” Mom says. “What y’all been up to today?” Mother asks Zavier and Nykendy.
“We had to run some errands,” Nykendy responds. “We ended up taking Kaden by the park for a little while. Zavier is making sure he masters the big wheel. Then it’s a bike with training wheels.”
“That’s right,” Zavier says. “I’ma have him rolling through the house like an expert driver.”
I laugh and say, “We know you will, Zavier. I’m surprised you haven’t already purchased him a little doctor’s lab coat and toy stethoscope.”
“Oh, he has!” Nykendy says, amused. “And it’s a real stethoscope—not a toy one. He comes to listen to my heartbeat all the time.”
Kaden snickers and buries his face in my mother’s neck. His shyness is adorable.
“Just think…in a year, he’ll be a kindergartener,” I say.
“Yeah, just in time for us to start working on some siblings,” Zavier says.
“Yes!” Mom exclaims. “I can’t wait.”
“Neither can I,” I say. “The more y’all have, the less I’ll have to.”
“Oh, that’s how it works?” Nykendy asks.
“That’s cool because she’s not allowed to date, and so, therefore, she won’t be able to get married and have kids,” Zavier says.
“Wait a minute—who says I’m not allowed to date?” I ask.
“Me and Zander,” Zavier says. “Should I get him on the phone?”
“You can do whatever you want. At the end of the day, I’m a grown woman.”
Zavier chuckles.
“I heard that lil’ chuckle. I am a grown woman.”
“I’m not disputing that. The chuckle was for something I don’t think you will ever understand.”
“And what might that be?”
“Uh…let’s change the subject before y’all get into it again,” Mom says.
“Good idea, Ms. Zayda,” Nykendy says.
I return to the stove to sear more lamb chops, then place the macaroni and cheese in the oven.