CHAPTER 32
Lying in bed, her soft curls rest on my chest. She barely has anything on because that piece of fabric that looks like a silk scarf can hardly classify as lingerie. My heart thumps loudly. I know she can hear the fierce beats in her ear.
I want her.
I’ve been resisting the urge to make love to her, and it has been killing me, playing with my mental. She hasn’t mentioned a word about it, but she must wonder why we haven’t consummated this love we share. Maybe she’s not ready so it’s not a big deal, but maybe it is. I’m not sure.
She lifts her head and kisses my chest and says, “We’re married, Axel.”
“We are.”
“You know that’s crazy, right?”
“I know that all too well, Sunflower.”
She hums softly like she does when she’s about to fall asleep. “I love being in your arms,” she says quietly, her breath floating across my chest.
“I love having you in my arms, Myra.”
She kisses me again and then says, “I want to let you know that you don’t have to be afraid to make love to me, Ax.”
“I’m not afraid, baby.”
She sits up and asks, “Then, what is it because I know it’s something? I can feel it.”
“It’s, um…it’s me.”
“What’s wrong?”
I put my hands behind my head while lying on the pillow. Staring up at her, I say, “You know about my past with women. I’ve been transparent about that.”
“Yes, you have.”
“So, I feel like it’s a mental thing. I have developed such a pattern of sleeping with women and losing interest that, in my mind, I think that same thing will happen with you.”
“It won’t.”
“How do you know that?”
“Because you love me. Oh, and, I’m not those other women. I’m me.”
“Yes, babygirl,” I say, moving her hair from her face. “You’re you.”
She leans down and takes a kiss from my lips. She smiles then says, “I never would’ve thought it would be you who wanted to wait.”
“You don’t want to?”
She smiles. “I think I’ve waited long enough. Don’t you?”
“Why did you wait so long?”
“You do realize I told you all of this, right?”
“Remind me.”
She says, “My father broke my mother’s heart, which made me have trust issues with men.”
“Ah, so you marry a man who knows nothing about commitment.”
“Well, you’re about to learn.”
My heart rate is still up because I know at some point I have to come clean about who I really am, and I don’t know how she’s going to take it. I also don’t know what Peter is going to think when he learns that I married the very woman I was supposed to be secretly observing. When he first told me to come down here, I never would have imagined I’d be this infatuated with someone. That’s the Zimyra St. Claire-Jennings effect. She is something special and I’m glad she’s mine.