Chapter 45 ELLE
ELLE
Zodiac was nervous as fuck about the ugly property he showed us, but I absolutely saw the gorgeous property it could become. Sutter and I didn’t want to look at any other places.
After my family returned to the hotel, Zodiac took his ride to meet up with his guys.
“I’ll be back later,” he promised and glanced at an obviously sad Shay. “See if you can work your magic on your mom. She’s making me feel guilty.”
“Aww, you’re so soft inside,” I taunted while nuzzling my cheek against his chest. “I’ll do what I can with Shay, but she has to embrace her emotions now, or they’ll turn to resentment later.”
“Fair enough,” Zodiac said and kissed me long and hard before taking off to ride the roads of a city I was still figuring out.
With Shay’s bad mood worsening, Ford and Clint decided to take a walk with Sutter. My mom was nearly in tears as soon as I shut the door.
“It was dumb, but I really thought you’d always live with us,” Shay admitted as her tears began to flow.
“I thought that, too,” I said as Ivy and I cuddled against Shay on the couch. “I fought my feelings for Zodiac from the beginning because I didn’t want to leave home. But I have to give this thing with him a real shot.”
“You should live part-time with us.”
“I promise we’ll be in Little Memphis as much as possible.”
Shay sighed and wiped her face. She studied me before caressing my baby bump. “I can’t tell if Zodiac’s right for you.”
I realized Ivy had the same concerns. Their reluctance made sense. I’d been unsure about Zodiac for months.
“He protects his heart by letting only a few people close. I feel him opening himself up for Sutter, the baby, and me. With time, I hope you can also see the softer side of him.”
Shay finally smiled. “Your dad was a hard man to know. Smart people warned me about him. Ford and I shouldn’t have worked. But I loved him, and I didn’t want to love another man.”
Shay sighed deeply, sounding pained. “I’m choosing to trust that you and Zodiac will have the same long life together.
But I can’t pretend I won’t miss you and Sutter.
I also worry a lot about you being far away in a strange city.
So, even though I’ll embrace these changes, you should expect me to be bitchy from time to time. ”
Taking my mom’s hand, I fessed up. “I don’t really want to move.
I’m afraid of Baton Rouge. It’s a bigger city than I’m used to.
I don’t know the Black Rainbow members or their families.
I’ve never had to live on my own with Sutter.
I can’t be sure how often Zodiac will be around. I’m really scared about this move.”
Shay tightened her grip on my hand as I calmed myself. “But Zodiac is my guy. For months, I lied to myself because the truth terrified me. But I’m ready to be brave and face this new path.”
My mom hugged Ivy and me to her body. She held on until Ford, Clint, and Sutter returned. I smiled at them, sensing they’d also shared a good talk.
While my parents went to their room to work through my mom’s stress, Ivy and Clint disappeared to their own suite down the hall.
Once alone with my boy, I sat with Sutter near the windows facing the city.
“What are you thinking?”
Clearly overwhelmed, Sutter considered my question. “How long will it take for us to fix the important parts of the house and move in?”
“I don’t know. It depends on how much we want to change.”
“Could we move into one of the little houses and fix up the big one?”
“The little ones are ugly, too.”
“I don’t care about ugly. We could clean up one of the little houses and stay there.”
Unsure where his agitation came from, I asked, “What do you like about the property?”
“It feels like Sleepy Eye with the other houses and all the space. We could have so many people stay with us. It’d be like our own neighborhood.”
“The main house is so big that I don’t think it can all be renovated before Trent is born. But I like your idea about staying in a little house while we fix the most important rooms, like the kitchen, our bedrooms, and the living room. The other spaces could be fixed later.”
“Will Hobbs and Newton come with us?”
“Of course. We’ll need a guard dog for when Zodiac isn’t around.”
Sutter snorted. “Zodiac didn’t think we’d like the house.”
“Zodiac was nervous, yeah.”
Sutter’s gray eyes warmed. “I try to think of him as a foster child. When he gets angry, I remember how the foster kids act when they first get to Pax and Bebe’s house. They are sad and mad about having bad parents. They’re scared, too. I think Zodiac was scared today.”
“I like how you show patience with Zodiac. But if you don’t like the property, don’t say otherwise just to make him happy.”
“I do like it. Lula’s house is really fancy. I would like that, too. But the one today was better.”
Smiling, I didn’t want Sutter to silence his heart to make others happy. Our family worked well because we voiced our feelings and were straight with each other.
Hiding wasn’t allowed in the Reed family. That was why Clint was so irritated when I hid my feelings for Zodiac. He was straight with me when he met Ivy. I had shown him disrespect by not being honest when I fell for Zodiac. I never wanted to hide from my family again.
By the time Zodiac arrived at the hotel, I was sure Sutter truly liked the property. We had even begun talking about what he wanted to do for his room.
“I came up with a plan,” Sutter told Zodiac immediately.
Zodiac’s icy blue gaze flashed to me. I knew he was preparing for the worst.
Standing up, I hugged Zodiac. “As I explained to Sabrina, love is worth protecting, and I love you, Zodiac Bondi.”
“Enough to name the baby Trent Megatron Bondi?”
“No, but enough to name the baby Trent Megatron Reed Bondi.”
Zodiac broke into a great smile. “That’ll have to do.”
I waited to see if Zodiac would say those three little words to me. He narrowed his gaze, as if knowing what I was thinking. Rather than get into a staring contest, I rested on the couch and put up my feet.
“Sutter, why don’t you tell Zodiac your plan?”
Zodiac quickly agreed to Sutter’s idea, clearly wishing to avoid a rental place. Sutter’s anxiety lessened once he knew we wouldn’t need to move twice.
As the whole family walked down to the hotel’s restaurant, everyone was in a better mood.
We talked about renovations, what to bring from Little Memphis, and what to buy new.
I sensed Shay would be happiest if we left most of our current stuff back in my parents’ house.
That way, she could feel like we were still there.
Zodiac listened to everyone’s ideas without adding many of his own. I assumed he was overwhelmed. I didn’t blame him. I felt exhausted after the last week. Occasionally, I found myself flashing back to the shooting and that bitch getting torn up in the intersection. The world often felt chaotic.
Later that night, in the hotel suite, while Sutter slept in the next room, I rested on the bed and stared at the ceiling.
Zodiac had fucked me earlier. I felt physically content, but my mind was racing.
I kept thinking of my friends in Little Memphis.
I’d never been away from my parents or Clint for more than a few weeks.
Baton Rouge suddenly felt scary. I would be here all alone with Sutter, a baby, and a man with no experience in a real family.
Climbing back into bed, Zodiac kissed my belly and then my throat. He’d been oddly quiet all evening. He had also shown zero swagger. I started to worry he had already changed his mind but didn’t know how to stop the momentum of a plan he set in motion.
“I do, too,” Zodiac said and covered us with the blanket.
“Do what?”
“I do love you,” Zodiac said and brushed his lips across my cheek. “I even love you enough to give up the name Megatron.”
Turning toward him, I smiled triumphantly. “From the second we met, I knew you were my guy.”
“Bullshit.”
“No, I knew, but I worried you didn’t know. That’s why I hid from you. I was afraid I was the only one who knew.”
Grinning, Zodiac murmured, “I’ll pretend that made perfect sense.”
“I’m scared to move here. Are we rushing this thing?”
“Well, if you had told me about the baby as soon as you knew, you’d already be living here.”
“Do you really believe that?”
“Yes,” Zodiac said and turned off the light. “It was inevitable. That’s why I’m willing to follow you back to Little Memphis if you’re unhappy here in a year.”
The chaos in my mind went silent as Zodiac spoke. I saw my future with complete clarity. I finally understood why Clint had felt such certainty when he met Ivy. Or how my mom could trust her heart with a scary man like my dad.
Zodiac and I were always on a path to find each other. He would scare off any other woman. I’d push away any other man. We were both happy without a relationship. Now, we couldn’t imagine living apart.