Chapter 25
Knox
“Ican’t stop hearing her crying.” I’m sitting in a booth at our family’s restaurant with my elbows on the glossy wooden tabletop.
It’s mid-afternoon, and the lunch crowd has all gone. The place is closed for a few hours while they prepare for the dinner rush, and I’m surrounded by my aunts and cousins and their little ones.
My hands are cupped in front of my ears, and my mom is at my side, rubbing slow circles on my back. “I’m so sorry, honey. I can’t even imagine how awful it must’ve been.”
“Her little face was so red.” My chest twists painfully. “She only cries like that when she’s really in pain…” My voice breaks. “I never let her cry like that.”
I rub my fingers over my eyes to swipe the tears that won’t stop coming. My head aches, and I couldn’t sleep last night. I’ve gotten used to having her little body in the bed with me, kicking me in the face or scooting around so her head is pressed right against mine.
“She’s probably scared and wondering where I am…”
“Oh, honey.” Mom hugs my arm, resting her head on my shoulder.
“Gavin wanted me to tell you if he didn’t have to play right now, he’d be down here helping you get her back.” Haddy sits on my other side holding my arm. “When he heard about what happened, he went and got Lucy out of her crib and carried her around for an hour.”
“I’m still amazed she learned to walk,” Gina teases, sliding her hand over her distended midsection, and my eyes drift to the dark-haired toddler wobbling around the dining room, playing with my cousin’s toy poodle.
“Look at the baby!” A little-girl voice joins them, and a blonde three-year-old runs straight to Lucy. “Hey, baby!”
Her voice is high and sweet, and Kimmie Joy follows her, squatting beside the two girls. “This is your cousin Lucy. Lucy, this is Callie.”
I swallow the thickness in my throat. Cricket should be here playing with her cousins, and when my big sister’s eyes meet mine, hers fill with tears. It almost makes me start again.
“Knoxey.” Her voice is quiet, and she stands, coming to where I sit and reaching for my hands. “How are you holding up?”
I can only shake my head at first. When I’m able to speak, all I can say is, “Not good.”
Lucy lets out a squeal, and Mom slides out of the booth to walk over to where the little girls are playing.
Kim takes her place at my side, putting her head on my shoulder. “Dad said Aunt Liv is talking to the lawyer in Arkansas. She thinks you have a really good case for getting her back. Aunt Liv said this cousin is such a distant relative, she doesn’t have a stronger claim than you do.”
“I can’t believe I let them take her like that. I should have thrown them out.”
Her lips press, and she shrugs. “I don’t know, but I think Edward was right. How you handled things mattered.”
“I could’ve thrown them out nicely.”
It was a quiet drive over yesterday evening. I put my earbuds in and leaned back in the chair, not even wanting to acknowledge my cousin. I’ve always trusted Edward to have my back, but I can’t help feeling like he really let me down this time.
“Hey, LB, you okay?” At the sound of my brother’s deep voice, Kimmie straightens at my side. “Mom said you could use a pep talk from someone who’s been there.”
“Austin.” I clasp his hand briefly. “I can’t stop wondering how she’s being treated, if she’s okay. Every minute feels like forever.”
He sits across from me, hands rested on the table. “It’s torture, I know, but we’re all here with you. We’re not letting her go.”
“At least you were able to see Callie. At least she was with her grandparents.” I shake my head. “I just have to go on faith.”
“But you saw the cousin, right? She seemed like a decent person?”
“Melody ran a background check on her. She doesn’t have a record or any kind of history of anything. She’s a musician, a hair stylist.”
“That’s good news.” Kimmie strokes my hair off my forehead. “She’ll take care of Cricket. She’s her family.”
I inhale slowly, hoping she’s right. “She’s just in fucking Arkansas,” I say under my breath.
All these babies around means I’m going to have to curtail my language.
Austin gives me a tight grin. “There are worse places she could be.”
“Your aunt is doing her best to set a hearing before the holiday,” Edward says, joining the group. “She’s hoping to get a judge who’ll be sympathetic to you, who’ll take into account the baby’s needs and your character.”
He approaches the table, and my shoulders stiffen. My teeth slide together, but my older brother’s eyes are on my face.
“C’mon, Knox.” Austin shoves my arm. “You know Eddie’s only looking out for you. He wouldn’t steer you wrong.”
Edward stands at Kimmie’s side, and I can tell he’s trying to make peace.
“Cricket’s an intelligent child,” he says. “When you’d go to practice, she didn’t cry. She knew you were coming back for her every day. She knows that now.”
The fist tightens around my heart, and I nudge Kim’s leg. She rises, letting me out, and I exhale as I stand. Edward is there, and I meet his eyes briefly.
“Right.” I manage to say.
“I wasn’t trying to hurt you, Knox.”
My throat is dry and achey. I’ve never been mad at Edward. I’ve never been mad at any of my cousins. They’ve always been my favorite people in the world, and I trust them with my life. Still…
“Hang on!” Gina waddles up to the table, holding Aunt Dylan’s big iPad. “Did y’all see this?”
She turns the device to me, and I see it’s one of those YouTubers who talk about all the sports podcasts from the week before.
“How many times can they cover the same thing?” I grumble.
“It’s easier than trying to listen to all of them,” Gina explains. “But this you want to hear.”
We all wait as she taps the play triangle, and then Melody’s voice starts. Her tone is serious, urgent.
“If you would take the time to write a letter, telling the judge to give our boy a chance, we’d be forever grateful to you.
He just needs a character witness, or fifty…
or a hundred. Let’s show this judge this is not a toxic environment, and we take care of our people.
We don’t separate families, and Knox is the kind of dad we want to support, not tear apart… ”
My chest swells, and I take the device from my cousin. “What is this?”
“It looks like the Quarterback Princess risked everything to stand up for you.” Gina blinks up at me smiling. “She’s asking all your fans to come out and support you getting your daughter back.”
Reaching up, I scrub my fingers over my eyes once more. My lips part, and I exhale a laugh, doing my best to keep it together. “I need a minute.”
I give the iPad back to Gina and leave them at the table, walking past the little girls playing in the center of the room, and out the side door that leads down to the water.
Taking out my phone, I tap her number. This isn’t a text or call. This is fucking FaceTime.
It only takes a few rings before I see my Melody on the screen looking like the best thing in the world.
Her face looks freshly washed and she’s smiling, so kissable. Her hair is messy on her head with tendrils hanging down, and I want to touch her so badly.
“Gina showed me what you did. You went on your show for me?”
She gives me a sheepish little grin, nodding. “We’ve already got almost three hundred messages of support.” She turns her laptop so I can see the number beside the notifications. “Your fans are rallying around you, K-Brad.”
I’m struggling to find the words to tell her how much it means. “You could lose your audience for this.”
“I’m not so sure.” She shrugs. “I give your fans a voice. This judge is going to see how much love you have here and know Cricket belongs with you. Family is the people you choose, not what’s written on a piece of paper.”
“I wish you were here. I’d like to put my arms around you right now and just breathe.”
Her eyes soften, and her smile is so beautiful. “We’ll be together again soon. Don’t give up, okay?”
I walk to the edge of the water, looking out to the horizon. “It’s crazy how fast your life can change. How someone can turn everything you thought you wanted upside down.”
“And all she did was cry, spit baby food in your face, and poop on you.”
Her reply makes me laugh. “What can I say? I love women who abuse me.”
“Mmm… you won’t get any complaints here.” The suggestion in her tone makes me want her even more.
“Don’t lose your edge, QP.” I give her a wink. “You know it makes me horny.”
That makes her laugh. “Oh, don’t think I’m finished with you, sir.”
I hesitate, then I don’t. Fuck it. “I love you.”
The corner of her mouth rises, and she cuts me a teasing look. “Gridiron Gold.”
* * *
“It’s hard being here, feeling like I’m not doing anything.” I’m in my bedroom at my parents’ big house facing the bay.
It has a large, wrap-around front porch, and I remember mornings spent watching the sun rise over the water, falling asleep to the sound of frogs and birds, and getting eaten to death by mosquitos.
My mom, my sister, Haddy, and Gina have all showered me with affection since I arrived, but it only makes me restless. I had to escape to my bedroom, but my brother won’t let me suffer alone.
“You couldn’t do anything if you were in New Orleans.” Austin sits in the armchair in the corner, watching me finish unpacking. “At least here you’re with family.”
“What did you do after Tiffany’s parents took Callie?”
His jaw tightens, and he leans forward, propping his forearms on his knees. “Played ball or worked out or built shit. I’d make Edward come over and do drills with me.”
“You’re still building shit?” I squint up at him, taking a hoodie from my bag.
“I built Callie’s crib. Then I built a bed frame when she outgrew it.”
“Maybe you could teach me to build something for Cricket.”
My phone buzzes, and I see it’s another text from my teammates. We started a group chat at the beginning of the season, and they’ve been blowing it up since the game.
I’ve been too fucked up to feel like texting back, but I need to send them something. I quickly scan the string of unanswered texts, starting with the first one right after the game.