Chapter 16
Our journey is far from over, but with each word written and every step taken, we reclaim a piece of ourselves and redefine what it means to be survivors of a twisted reality.
—Ghost Lake by Ava Howell Brooks
“Admit it. We won fair and square. How does it feel to be whupped by a child, a septuagenarian and a woman with a bum leg?”
Luke grinned down at Madi. “Well, for one thing, one of my teammates walked out in the middle of the cornhole match to have an ice pop. For another, you cheated before my last throw when you faked that stumble and distracted me.”
She laughed. “I wasn’t faking. I really did stumble. Okay, maybe I exaggerated. It’s not my fault you’re a sucker for a wounded bird.”
“Hey, I think I’m going to stay here tonight.”
Madi had been so busy gloating, she hadn’t noticed Nicole join them until she spoke.
“Why? Is something wrong?” Madi asked.
“Not at all. I’m off work tomorrow and so is Austin, coincidentally. We talked about taking a couple of the horses on a trail ride in the mountains early in the morning. Since the horses are here, it makes sense to stay so I don’t have to drive over so early.”
“Oh right.” Except how was Madi supposed to get home, since she and Sierra had ridden over with Nicole?
As usual, her best friend seemed to read her mind. “I came over to bring you my car keys. Go ahead and take my car back to the house. I can have Austin drop me back home tomorrow after our ride.”
“I don’t want to take your car. I can see if Grandma minds going out of her way to take me home.”
The idea of being trapped inside Leona’s SUV with Ava appealed to her about as much as shaving her eyebrows, but she didn’t mention that small detail.
“No need,” Luke said quickly. “I can give you a ride. I wanted to swing by the sanctuary anyway tonight to check on Barnabas and see how his leg is healing. I’ve been meaning to head over there all day and haven’t had a chance.”
“He is as ornery as ever but you could certainly come check it out for yourself. What about Sierra, though?”
He shrugged. “She and Mom were talking about watching a movie. I’m sure I’ll be back before they’re done.”
“You’re not up for movie night?”
“Not this one. It’s a tearjerker romance where somebody dies at the end. Not my favorite trope.”
Her emotions softened. Of course it wouldn’t be, since his own wife had died only four years earlier.
When they returned to the house to say their goodbyes to everyone, she found Ava waiting for Leona in one of the rocking chairs on the porch. She was gazing out at the vast mountain range beyond the ranch, her expression distant and...somehow haunted.
Where earlier in the evening, Madi might have ignored Ava, she found she couldn’t do that when her sister seemed so troubled.
“I’m taking off. I’m sure I’ll see you later.”
“All right.”
Madi paused, then hurried on before she could change her mind.
“I was serious about suggesting you volunteer at the shelter. For what it’s worth, I was only teasing about cleaning after the pigs. You wouldn’t have to do that.”
Ava blinked in surprise. “Thank you. I might do that. You know I’m not really good with animals, right? Not like you are, anyway.”
“You’ll be fine. We’ll put you with the puppies. You can ask Sierra. They’re good therapy, guaranteed to put a smile on your face. I’ll let the volunteers know you’re preapproved. You don’t have to go through the vetting process since Luke and I both know you.”
Madi didn’t know why she was being so generous to her sister, not when she was still furious with Ava. She just couldn’t stand by and do nothing when her sister seemed so...shattered.
“I... Thanks,” Ava said, as Luke drove his pickup closer to the house and stopped.
“Oh. I didn’t realize you came with Luke.”
“I didn’t. I came with Nic but she’s decided to stay the night here. Luke offered to give me a ride home so he can check on one of our animals at the rescue.”
Madi also wasn’t sure why she felt compelled to explain herself and her choices to her sister.
She gave Ava one last wave and hurried down the steps. As she knew he would, Luke walked around the truck to open the passenger door for her and held his hand out to help her up. She knew she would be wasting her breath to tell him she was perfectly capable of opening a door and that she regularly drove her own pickup truck, which was much harder to get into.
She placed her hand in his and let him give her a boost, aware of a strange heat that seemed to jump between them. As soon as she settled into the seat that smelled of leather and pine, she was quick to withdraw her hand, not looking at him as he closed the door and made his way around to the driver’s seat.
He pulled away from the house in the direction of the sanctuary on the other side of town, some of Boyd’s horses galloping beside them in their paddock, their manes and tails limned by the colorful sunset.
“What a lovely evening,” she said, settling into her seat and enjoying the familiar view they passed. Everywhere she looked, she saw people outside enjoying the peaceful Sunday. Families rode bikes on the trail that followed the creek, the large downtown park was busy with informal pickup soccer and baseball games, and they even passed several people horseback riding. “I don’t know why anyone would want to live anywhere but here in Emerald Creek.”
“It’s a pretty great place. Not perfect, of course, but no place is.”
“You’re right. But in my view, Emerald Creek is closer than most places. It’s not only the scenery. I love the farmers market and the Monday-night movies at the park and bumping into friends at the grocery store. I don’t know how Ava possibly can be happy living in the city. I visited her once and had a headache the entire time from the noise and the chaos.”
“It’s good that other people find home in lots of different places or the population of Emerald Creek would explode.”
She smiled. “You’re right. We wouldn’t want that.”
They chatted about the upcoming workload for the week at the vet clinic until he pulled into the driveway of the animal shelter. “I can drop you at the house before I head down to the barn,” he said.
“You don’t have to do that. I would like to go with you to check on Barnabas. I can walk over after.”
“You know I’m always glad for your help.”
He continued on the driveway and parked in front of the barn.
She didn’t wait for his help exiting the pickup but climbed out herself. Her leg wobbled, tired out from the long day, but she managed to catch herself before she stumbled, then she hurried to the door.
She unlocked the facility with her code and let them both into the empty office.
Unless they had a critically ill patient, they didn’t keep overnight staff at the shelter. Madi had installed an extensive camera security system that alerted her in case of anything unusual with the animals. Volunteers took turns monitoring the cameras on a schedule, so Madi didn’t have to do it herself every single night, worrying about their charges.
Tonight was actually her turn, and throughout the evening, she had been checking the cameras every hour or so.
“Is he in here or out in the field?” Luke asked.
“Probably in here. He usually comes inside at night.”
Most of the farm animals at the shelter preferred to sleep inside the facility, where it was warm and dry and safe. She turned on the light over the goat area of the barn and they found Barnabas exactly where she had guessed, stretched out on the hay-strewn floor beside two other goats. The other one, Martha, must be outside.
She smiled. “Hey, Barnabas. Hello. Look who’s here. It’s your favorite vet. Come say hello to Dr. Gentry.”
He gave a grumpy sound, exactly like some of her college roommates used to make when their alarm clocks went off Monday morning after a weekend of partying. Like her roommates at times, the goat made no effort to move, quite deliberately turning on his other side to face the opposite end of the stall from them.
She rolled her eyes. “Barney. Don’t be rude. Come on. Dr. Gentry only wants to check and see how your leg is healing. You should feel special, sir. He doesn’t make evening house calls for just anybody.”
After a sullen moment, the goat finally lumbered to his feet.
“He seems to be moving on it a little better,” Luke observed, putting on his gloves and grabbing the salve from the storage shelf outside the stall.
“Yes. I’ve noticed that. And it doesn’t seem to be as tender when we have to change the dressing.”
While she held the goat in place, Luke spoke softly to the animal before gently picking up his left hind leg. Barnabas bleated his annoyance, which stirred up the other goats in the pen.
“Now look,” Madi chided. “You’ve awakened everyone else, dude. Not cool.”
The goat clearly didn’t care. He blew another of those raspberries that had made Sierra laugh so hard earlier in the day.
Luke applied the salve and reapplied the dressing. “Another few days and you can probably take the bandage off.”
“Oh good. That will make him happy. Thank you.”
“My pleasure. Is there anyone else I need to check while I’m here?”
She did a quick mental inventory of all their current residents. “Yes, actually,” she suddenly remembered. “Chester has been off his feed for a couple of days. Sierra tried to exercise him today and he was having none of it. That’s very unlike him. He loves her and is always happy for the chance to hang out and play.”
The miniature horse they had rescued from a petting zoo was usually cheerful and energetic, a favorite of all the volunteers.
“I’ll take a look.”
They made their way together to the stall Chester shared with their Jerusalem donkey, Sabra. The two were happiest when they were together.
Sabra snuffled to greet them, but Chester stayed in the corner of the stall.
“Can you hold him still for me?” he asked her.
Madi wrapped her arms around the gray horse and spoke softly to him while Luke did a cursory physical exam.
Apparently he touched something painful near his abdomen because Chester stomped his hooves and his left front hoof landed square on Madi’s right foot.
She gasped as pain seared up her leg, icy and mean. She had worn light canvas sneakers to the party and hadn’t changed into her work boots before coming to help him. Big mistake.
“What happened?” Luke asked, his eyes concerned.
“Nothing. I’m f-fine,” she lied, embarrassed at the shaky note in her voice.
“Madi. What happened?”
She sighed. Luke wouldn’t let it go. “It was totally my fault. He stepped on my foot. I should have put on better shoes.”
He looked at her thin sneakers. “Go sit down. I’m about done checking him over and then I’ll come take a look at you.”
“I’m f-fine, really. I can help you.”
“Madi. Go sit down. I’ve got this.”
She glowered at his bossy tone. Some part of her wanted to remind him this was her animal shelter. She was the executive director and didn’t take orders from him, no matter how wonderful a vet he might be.
The urge subsided. He was only looking out for her. She couldn’t be annoyed at that.
She limped out of the stall and sat on one of the benches in the wide space in the middle of the barn.
“Any insights into why he might not be eating like usual?”
“Looks like he’s got sinusitis. He needs an antibiotic and anti-inflammatory.”
“Oh no. Poor thing!”
“We should probably get him started on them as soon as possible. I can run into the clinic and grab meds for you, then you can start him tonight.”
“Thank you.”
“Enough about Chester. Let’s take a look at your foot.”
“I’m fine. Don’t worry about it.”
“Madi.”
She sighed, recognizing by his tone that he wouldn’t budge. She finally stuck out her sore foot. She had managed to kick off her sneaker but couldn’t bring herself to remove her sock. What if her toe was visibly broken or dislocated? No thank you. She would rather not look.
The very thought left her lightheaded.
Madi could help with veterinary care all day, every day, dealing without blinking at all sorts of animal injuries and illnesses that might completely horrify other people. When it came to human physical issues, especially her own, she wasn’t nearly as sanguine.
She suspected it was a visceral reaction from the long weeks she’d had to spend in the hospital and rehab center after she was shot, undergoing months of retraining in speech, occupational and physical therapy.
Now she hated going to the doctor and avoided it as long as necessary. Whenever she had to have her blood drawn for a routine test, she had to look away or she would feel shaky, lightheaded.
Luke put on clean gloves from the box on the shelf then sank onto his haunches in front of her. Slowly, gently, he gripped her sock and began rolling it down.
His fingers were warm on her skin and she shivered despite the warm air inside the barn.
He glanced up, his features arrested. Madi could feel herself blush and hoped he didn’t notice in the fluorescent lights inside the building.
She was suddenly aware they were alone here. Okay, alone while surrounded by potbellied pigs, a trio of goats, a miniature horse and a Jerusalem donkey. But there were no other people around to notice if she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him toward her...
“Good news,” he said after examining her foot. “It’s not dislocated and I don’t think it’s broken.”
“You don’t think? Don’t you know?”
“Not without an X-ray,” he admitted. “You have many things here at the Emerald Creek Animal Rescue but as far as I know, an X-ray machine isn’t one of them.”
“Maybe I should go to the urgent care clinic. They do have an X-ray machine, as well as a technician.”
She glanced at her watch. “Oh shoot. They closed an hour ago. I didn’t realize it was so late. Should I go to the ER?”
“You could. But if it were broken, I don’t think you would be able to wiggle your toes. If you were my patient, I would advise waiting a day or two for an X-ray, until the swelling goes down.”
“Good thing I’m not your patient, then.”
He smiled, still crouched in front of her. It would be so easy to lean forward slightly and brush her mouth against his...
“You don’t have to take my advice. If you want, I can drive you to the hospital ER up in Ketchum.”
Already the pain had begun to fade to a much more manageable level. She sighed, feeling stupid and overdramatic. “You don’t have to do that. I’ll be okay. I’m being a big baby.”
“You are far from a baby.”
Something in his low voice sent shivers rippling down her spine.
“Want me to put your sock back on?”
Despite the pain receding, Madi suspected it would be best not to mess with her toes more than strictly necessary. “No. Just my shoe.”
He loosened the laces on her sneaker further, gripped her heel and slid the shoe on. If someone had told her she could be this stirred up sitting in a barn while a man put a shoe on an injured foot, she would have told them they were making up ridiculous stories.
Yet here she was, holding her breath as if he were taking items of apparel off instead of the other way around.
Was it her imagination or did his hand pause on her ankle a little longer than strictly necessary? The heat of his skin seemed to burn through her.
Stop it, she chided herself. This was Luke. Her friend. Her boss. For all intents and purposes, he was her partner in the Emerald Creek Animal Rescue, as he had been behind her every step of the way and gave as many volunteer hours to the sanctuary as she or anyone else.
She couldn’t screw things up by letting the tiny crush she had always secretly nurtured grow into something bigger, like a true infatuation, with all the complications that would entail.
What if it was too late?a voice whispered.
She ignored it.
It wasn’t. She wouldn’t let it be. She only had to forget about this simmering attraction and do her best to keep their relationship in the friend zone. She could do this.
“Come on,” he said, rising. “I’ll help you back to the house.”
He reached a hand out and she let him pull her up.
She gingerly put weight on her foot and was relieved that the pain had eased considerably.
“I’m doing much better. I’ll be okay. Thanks for taking a look.”
She took a step toward the door, then wobbled, not because of her foot but because she was forced to rely on her weaker leg, now that the other one had been injured.
Luke stepped forward and caught her before she could stumble into something. “Here. I’ve got you. I won’t let you fall. I’ll give you a ride back to the house.”
“I can walk. It’s only a hundred yards.”
“But a hundred yards on a sore foot versus five to my pickup and five more up your steps. I think the ride is a much better plan.”
He had a point, she had to admit. Luke hooked his arm through hers, his body warm and comforting beside her as he helped her to his truck, then lifted her up into the seat.
She wanted to tell him she was fine, that she could handle this on her own, but it felt nice to lean on his strength.
He drove the short distance she usually walked several times a day. The small farmhouse looked welcoming in the darkness, with the light she left on for her dogs beaming out through the yard.
He pulled up to the porch then helped her out of the truck. She tried not to notice the strength of his arms or the heat of him or his delicious scent of sage and juniper.
She loved evenings here at the farmhouse. Crickets chirped and she could hear the distant call of a coyote somewhere in the surrounding mountains as they made their way up the porch steps.
“Do you have a key?” Luke asked at her door.
She pulled her key ring out of her pocket and unlocked the door. He pushed it open and turned on the foyer light as her old golden retriever, Mo, waddled out, followed close behind by Mabel, her little schnoodle.
“There you are, guys. Do you need to go out? Come on.”
She limped to the back door, where she could let the dogs out into the enclosed yard.
“Sorry,” she said to Luke. “I have to let them out first, especially Mo. If he gets too excited, he’ll have an accident.”
“I get it. I’ve got an old lady of my own.”
“Right. How is Ruby?” she asked of his chocolate Lab.
“She’s good. Funny as ever. She still loves to cuddle and she’s still afraid of the telephone.”
She smiled. “How old is she?”
“Eleven now.”
“Mo is twelve. That’s getting up there for a golden.”
“He’s still doing okay, though? Anything I need to look at on either of your dogs?”
She shook her head. “I think you’ve done enough tonight, Dr. Gentry. Put away your stethoscope. A goat, a miniature horse and me with my bruised toe. That’s a full evening, especially after a party. Believe it or not, you don’t have to take care of the whole world.”
His smile. “It’s a hard habit to break, one I think I inherited from my dad.”
“He was a good man. And so are you.”
On impulse, she reached up to kiss his cheek. She couldn’t have said why she did it. Maybe it was out of gratitude for his constant generosity of spirit toward her and all the animals she loved or the deep well of gratitude she felt for all his help with the animal shelter.
They had been friends long enough that casual physical affection between them wasn’t all that unusual, though perhaps more rare these days.
This brush of her lips against his skin somehow didn’t feel casual.
He had a hint of evening stubble on his jaw and he smelled even better this close.
He gazed down at her, eyes wide with surprise. They looked at each other for a long time, the only sound their mingled breathing.
The moment seemed to stretch out, delicate and fragile, then an instant later, Luke shifted his mouth to hers. Her breath caught, tangled with his as his mouth brushed across hers with aching slowness.
What was happening right now?
Madi reeled, dizzy with shock. Luke Gentry was kissing her—her—in her kitchen, his arms holding her close, as if she were infinitely precious to him.
She forgot about the dogs, about her sore toe, about anything else but him and this moment.
She hadn’t kissed a man in a long time. Not since her summer fling the previous year, when she had dated a cute cowboy who had come to town to work as a wrangler at one of the dude ranches nearby.
Luke did not kiss like that guy, whose name she couldn’t even remember right now.
In fact, she could not remember ever experiencing another kiss like this one, where she felt every heartbeat echo through her, and was certain the world outside this farmhouse had suddenly tilted on its axis.
She didn’t want to stop. She wanted to stay forever right here in his arms, where she felt safe and warm and cherished.
They might have stayed there kissing until the morning, if Mo hadn’t barked softly to be let in from the other side of the door.
At the sound, Luke froze. His eyes flew open and she could see exactly when the soft, dreamlike state lifted and reality returned.
The expression in his gaze shifted from one of hazy desire to something closer to astonished dismay.
The mouth that had been so delicious on hers sagged open for an instant, before compressing into a tight line.
As he dropped his arms from around her, Madi felt something inside her begin to shrivel, something soft and vulnerable and wonderful that had flared to life during the kiss.
“That was... I shouldn’t have... We shouldn’t have...”
She should probably say something to ease the extreme awkwardness that has suddenly blossomed between them, but she could not for the life of her, think of any words beyond wow, which she didn’t think would be quite appropriate.
Why had he kissed her? More to the point, why had she responded as if this was the first kiss she’d ever had that actually meant something?
“I don’t know what just happened.” Luke raked a hand through his hair. “You kissed my cheek and...you always smell so good and I couldn’t resist.”
She stared at him, feeling as if every single rational thought had completely flown out of her head.
“I... What?”
He grimaced. “I know. It was completely inappropriate. I’m your employer. I should never have taken advantage of you like that.”
He was concerned about kissing her because she worked for him? That thought had never even crossed her mind. Their relationship was so multilayered, the fact that she was a vet tech in his office seemed a minimal issue.
“Technically I work for you, I guess. But only for another few weeks.”
He did not look happy about the reminder. “Still. I shouldn’t have kissed you. It was a gross abuse of power.”
“You currently pay my salary but it’s not as if you hold my entire professional future in your hands. And I’m sorry you find my kisses gross,” she muttered.
He gave her an exasperated look. “You know that’s not what I meant. I don’t know what came over me. I’ve always been very careful not to...to let myself think about you that way.”
She wasn’t quite sure how to interpret that admission. “What way? Like a woman?”
“Like a woman at all available for the kind of relationship where we could kiss and...other things. You’ve always been like a sister to me.”
“I’m not your sister.”
He gave her a wry, tight smile. “Yes. I’m fully aware. But our lives are deeply intertwined. We work together, both at the clinic and here at the rescue. You’re best friends and roommates with my sister. You come to my mother’s house for dinner every month. For all intents and purposes, you’re part of the family.”
She couldn’t argue with him. They should never have kissed. Everything he said paralleled what she herself had been thinking.
He gripped her hand in his, his feature set. “You’re important to me, Mad. I care about you. My daughter cares about you. My mom would adopt you if she could. I don’t want to do anything to screw that up for everyone.”
Had one kiss made things irrevocably awkward between them? She couldn’t bear thinking that.
Luke was exactly right. Since the day he and his family had rescued her and Ava, Madi had always been careful to lock away any romantic feelings for him. But how could she help but fall a little in love with a man who had pulled her out of the line of fire and covered her body with his?
He probably didn’t think she remembered. They hadn’t spoken of those moments and he likely believed the gunshot wound she had sustained had given her short-term memory loss or something.
She remembered everything, though. The smell of gunpowder, the baying of the dogs, the frantic shouts and searing pain as she had been shot.
Luke had been solid and strong, even though scared himself, she knew. He had shoved Ava and Nicki behind a rock, yelled for his brother to take cover and had picked up the family’s rifle before covering Madi, who was bleeding copiously from the bullet that had struck her temple and lodged under her skull.
We’re going to get you out of this. I promise. Just hang on, kid, he had whispered to her as he fired the rifle in the direction the shots were firing.
She remembered the cries and shouts as his shots and his father’s managed to keep their pursuers at bay.
She also knew he had risked his life for her, as his father had. Luke had no way of knowing a helicopter full of federal agents from multiple agencies had been deployed to rescue her and her sister as soon as Dan Gentry had made that first satellite call a half hour earlier, after they stumbled onto their camp.
He had continued protecting them all with single-minded focus.
She drew in a shaky breath. “Okay. Here’s what we have to do. We both need to forget the last fifteen minutes ever happened.”
He made a rough sound of disbelief, low in his throat. “How do you propose we do that?”
“Easy. We just focus on all the reasons why that kiss should not have happened. You’re right. The various strands of our lives are interwoven. You are too important to me. I don’t want to lose that. I can’t lose that.”
Something flickered in his gaze, something hot, surprising. She did her best to ignore it.
“We simply have to rewind back to when I unlocked the door. You helped me inside, we put the dogs out, then you went on your merry way for the night. That’s how I will choose to remember this evening and I...I suggest you do the same. It’s the only way we can go back to...to our regular life. To the way things were.”
He sighed. “I wish it were that easy. It’s not, especially when I’ve wanted to kiss you for longer than I care to admit.”
She childishly shoved her hands over her ears. “Stop it. I’m not listening. Don’t tell me things like that, Luke. Now that’s one more thing I’ll have to forget.”
He released an unsteady breath. “I’m afraid you’re right. It’s the only option, if we want to maintain the status quo.”
She nodded, even as everything inside her ached to step straight back into his arms.
“For the record, it was a pretty unforgettable kiss, but I’ll do my best to put it out of my head.”
Unforgettable. That seemed a tame word for something she feared would be seared into her memory.
“I should head back. Everyone will be wondering where I am and what animal distracted me this time.”
“I am not sure they would believe you if you said the animal was me,” Madi said.
He gave a rough laugh, studied her for another few seconds, then shook his head. “Good night. I’ll see you tomorrow at the office. Where everything will be professional and comfortable and not weird at all.”
“Actually, I’m off tomorrow, remember? Dentist appointment in the morning, then I’m working at the rescue the rest of the day.”
“Right. I’ll see you Tuesday, then. Good night.”
After he left, she let the dogs inside, then headed for the living room.
As soon as she sank onto her favorite spot on the sofa, Mo jumped up on one side and Mabel jumped up on the other.
She hugged them both to her, grateful to have these two in her life and their constant, steady, uncomplicated love.