Chapter Twenty – Jay
Jay had done it! Moments ago, he had revealed his true self to Alison. And he had to admit, he’d half-expected Alison to bolt or scream when she learned he could shift from a man to a bear. But she hadn’t. She’d stood there, unafraid, reaching out to touch his bear. To accept him for what he was.
She didn’t freak out, his bear said, relief evident in its rumbling tone.
No, she didn’t, Jay murmured, his gaze locked on Alison. He knew there was still so much left to explain, and he couldn’t decide whether that realization made him more hopeful or more apprehensive.
His bear gave a small, happy shiver. Don’t blow it.
Jay swallowed hard. I don’t intend to.
He drew in a slow breath, trying to calm the flutter of nerves in his stomach. It would be okay.
Alison had just promised him she wasn’t going anywhere, and he believed her. Still, a cold twist of uncertainty coiled in his gut—what if once she learned about his past, whatever had driven him away from Bear Creek, she wouldn’t be so willing to stay?
First, we need to remember, his bear reminded him.
Unless someone else tells her first, Jay replied.
None of our family will be that malicious . Then his bear rumbled in concern. You’re worried someone outside of the family, someone who knows our past, might tell her?
Yes, Jay replied. Someone who might want to harm me or drive a wedge between us if they found out that Alison and I are…
Don’t think of that now, his bear urged. This is a special moment. Let’s just enjoy it.
You’re right. Jay switched his focus to Alison. She looked so beautiful as the moonlight caught her hair. He could not believe she was his?
Believe it, his bear said.
“I’ve wanted to show you—share with you—what I am since the first moment I saw you in the hospital,” he said.
She blinked. “You knew even then?”
“I did.” He nodded, feeling a light flush heat his cheeks. “I…I think you might be the reason I woke up.” Did that sound too fanciful? As if they were living in a fairy tale.
She gave him a puzzled look, like she wasn’t sure if he was serious. “I don’t know about that.”
“I do,” he insisted, stepping closer and gently taking her hand, reveling in the jolt of recognition that passed between them. “This connection we share…it pulled me back to reality.”
She stared at him as if searching for some hidden catch. “Okay, then explain it to me. All of it.”
Jay dragged in a breath, glancing up at the dark sky. “Where to start?”
“At the beginning,” she offered with a raised eyebrow.
He let out a small, humorless laugh. “That might be difficult. I don’t remember my beginning.”
“Then start with what you do know,” Alison said.
Jay nodded, shifting his weight. “Right. So, I’m a shifter—a bear shifter. I can, well…shift at will.”
Her eyes flickered with interest. “At will?”
He followed her glance skyward. “We don’t need a full moon or anything like that.”
“Good to know. It’d be awkward if you got stuck as a bear when you needed to be a man or vice versa and had to wait for the next full moon to come around,” she teased, a small smile lifting her lips.
Jay couldn’t help but chuckle. “Yeah, it would.”
She frowned slightly, considering. “So…do you think that’s what happened while you were gone from Bear Creek for so long? Did something go wrong with your shifting ? You weren’t stuck as your bear living life to the fullest on the mountain?”
He shook his head. “I don’t think so. In every fragment of memory I have, I’m in human form. At least, I think I was.” He tried not to let frustration seep into his voice. “There aren’t many fragments to go on.”
“I see,” Alison said matter-of-factly. “So, were you born with this ability?”
He shook his head again. “No. It develops around puberty when we experience our first shift.”
She nodded thoughtfully. “That’s interesting.” A pause lingered between them, and then she prompted, “What else?”
Jay’s bear interrupted, Tell her we are mates.
I’m getting to that part, Jay assured his bear.
Jay cleared his throat. “Well, we have enhanced senses. Like stronger sight, hearing, and smell. That kind of thing.”
“Like a sixth sense?”
“In a way,” Jay said. “We can sense people, especially those close to us. It’s like everyone has a unique fingerprint, but for shifters, it’s more instinctual.”
Alison’s gaze sharpened. “So, you can sense me?”
He swallowed. “Yes.”
She looked a little shy at that, glancing away. “Could I sense you, then? I mean…earlier, before I even looked out the window, I just knew you were there.”
Jay’s chest tightened at her words. “Yes,” he said. “Because we’re…mates. We share a connection.”
“Mates,” she echoed, testing the word as though trying to fit it into her understanding of the world. “That sounds…intense.”
“It is,” Jay admitted, not entirely sure how to explain destiny to someone who hadn’t grown up around shifters. He cleared his throat. “It’s like fate pairs us. Once we recognize it, there’s no denying it.”
Alison’s breath caught, and she stepped closer, sliding her arms around his neck. The intimate closeness sent a surge of warmth through him. His bear hummed with satisfaction, pushing aside the doubts that might still linger in Jay’s mind. When Alison tilted her face up to his, he saw acceptance—maybe even love—reflected in her eyes.
He slipped his hands around her waist, drawing her nearer. He still didn’t know who he’d been before losing his memory, why he’d left Bear Creek, or what darkness might lurk in his past. But right now, in this backyard, under the moonlight, he felt whole.
Nothing else mattered except that he was hers. And, he hoped, that she was his.
Alison’s lips parted, her breath warm against his skin. “Jay,” she whispered, with a hint of uncertainty that threatened to break him. He couldn’t lose her now. Fate surely would not be so cruel. “This is...a lot to take in.”
He nodded, tightening his arms around her. “I know. And I’m sorry for dumping it all on you like this. If you need time…”
“No,” she blurted, her fingers curling into the hair at the nape of his neck. “I don’t want time. I want...this. Us.”
Relief flooded through him, and he leaned down, pressing his forehead to hers. “Me, too,” he murmured.
Finally, she pulled back slightly, her eyes searching his face. “So, this connection...it works both ways, even though I am not a shifter? It’s why I also felt drawn to you from the moment I saw you in that hospital bed?”
Jay nodded, his voice thick with emotion. “Yes. It’s a bond that goes beyond the physical. It’s spiritual, emotional...eternal.”
She bit her lip, processing his words. “And there’s no...I don’t know, opting out?”
For a moment, fear gripped him, but he forced himself to answer honestly. “No. It’s unbreakable. But,” he added quickly, seeing a flicker of uncertainty in her eyes, “it doesn’t mean you lose your free will. We still choose how we act on it. Or don’t act on it.”
Alison was quiet for a moment, her gaze distant. “I think...I think I’ve known, deep down, since that first day. It scared me at first how strongly I felt about you.”
“I’m sorry about that,” he said. “The last thing I ever want to do is scare you.”
“You don’t.” She closed the distance between them once more. “I was never scared of you. I was scared of trusting what I felt. For so long, Ronald told me that I was useless, that I was a terrible judge of character, that no one else could ever love me. Eventually, you believe it. So when I had these feelings for you, I thought they were just delusions. A way for my mind to cope with the loneliness.”
Jay’s heart broke a little at hearing her speak of herself with such hopelessness. He knew Ronald had been a tyrant, but to think he had crushed Alison’s spirit so completely… It made Jay want to shift right there and tear something apart with his bear’s claws.
“You’re not useless,” he said fiercely. “You are brilliant, and kind, and so strong, Alison. Never believe the lies he told you.”
She shrugged lightly, as if trying to brush off the weight of his words. “It’s easier said than done. But I’m trying.”
Jay cupped her cheek, turning her face back to his. “You don’t have to do it alone. I’m here. Whatever you need, I’ll be here.”
She closed her eyes and leaned into his touch, as if drawing strength from him. When she opened them again, there was a new resolve in their depths. “I believe you.”
He kissed her then, softly at first, testing the waters. But when she kissed him back with a hunger that mirrored his own, he let himself drown in her. The world around them faded; the cool night air, the chirping of crickets, even the gnawing questions about his past slipped away into oblivion. Every fiber of his being was attuned to her—Alison, his mate, the woman who completed him in ways he was only beginning to understand.
When they finally broke apart, Jay rested his forehead against hers once more. This night could not be more perfect. But it was late. And she had work in the morning.
“I should go,” he said reluctantly but made no move to step away from her.
“Stay,” Alison urged, her hands tracing gentle patterns on his chest, her touch sending shockwaves through his body. “Just a little longer.”
He groaned, a sound of both pleasure and conflict. “Alison, if I stay…”
“I know,” she said, her voice thick with longing. “Please.”
“You want to know one more thing about a shifter?” he murmured against her ear.
“I want to know all the things,” she replied.
“I am programmed to make you happy, it’s in my DNA.” He cupped her face in his hand.
“That means you are staying?” She arched a questioning eyebrow at him.
“If that’s what you truly want,” he replied.
“It is,” she said.
“Well, then.” He lowered his head and kissed her gently, savoring the softness of her lips and the electric touch of her skin.
When he withdrew, it was with painstaking slowness, as if breaking a delicate thread that bound their souls together. He looked deep into her eyes, seeking any trace of doubt or hesitation, but found none.
“Come inside,” she said, taking his hand and leading him toward the house. Her touch sent a rush of anticipation through him and his bear nearly burst with joy.
“There’s one more thing.”
“Tell me.” She opened the door, and he followed her inside. As she closed the door behind them, he pulled her back into his arms.
“We love deeply and irrevocably,” Jay said, his breath hot against her skin. “Once we give our heart, it’s forever.”
“Forever is a long time,” she said, her voice barely more than a whisper.
“It is,” he agreed, “but it’s not long enough when it’s with the right person.”
And we are with the right person, his bear said happily.
Oh yeah, Jay replied. Because if he knew nothing else in this life, he knew this: In this moment, he was exactly where he was supposed to be.
And who he was supposed to be.