Chapter Nineteen – Alison
Alison woke with a start, her heart thudding loudly in her chest. At least it sounded loud to her as the silence of her room pressed in on her. She lay still, holding her breath as she tried to figure out what had awakened her. A noise, perhaps, or a bad dream. Or Tessa!
She propped herself on one elbow, moonlight spilling through a gap in the curtains to cast pale stripes across the floor, illuminating enough of the room that she could see the outline of her furniture.
Was there someone there, lurking in the shadows?
She stared into the darkness and for a moment, she felt that strange prickling sensation she’d been experiencing over the last few days. That unsettling sense of being watched. Of someone lurking unseen.
Were they? She glanced toward the window, which she had cracked open before she went to bed. Had someone climbed in? Was there someone else in the house?
She swung her legs out from under the covers and set her feet down on the cool floor, her senses on high alert. Her heart refused to slow, its steady thump like a drum. As if to warn her that something, or someone, was out there.
As if it were trying to warn her of an impending danger.
And yet, she felt no threat. Instead, a familiar warmth crept over her…the same comforting heat she felt whenever Jay was near.
Holding her breath, she strained to listen.
Seconds ticked by, and then she heard it: a faint rattle against the window glass. She froze, her body rigid with alertness. It sounded like…stones?
She let out a shaky laugh under her breath. Wasn’t that the sort of thing that happened in romance novels or old movies? A romantic hero tossing pebbles at a window to get the heroine’s attention?
Her life had never been that kind of story. It was a farce to even consider that anyone would be out there...
Her eyes drifted to the nightstand, where her well-worn paperback lay open. She’d fallen asleep reading a scene much like this one. Had the book invaded her dreams, or was her imagination playing tricks on her, making fiction bleed into reality?
But the tapping came again. She reached for her robe, slipping it on before making her way to the window. The moonlight guided her, and she carefully pushed the curtain aside, peering out onto the front yard below.
The lawn was cast in shadows, but she could still make out a figure standing near the house. Tall, broad shoulders, it could only be one person.
Jay.
Even though she could barely make out his features, she sensed the moment he saw her, the silent connection between them sparking him to life. He took a step forward, his face turned to the exact spot where she stood.
She let the curtain fall and blew out a shaky breath, her pulse racing. Of all the improbable things, Jay was outside, throwing stones at her window like a scene from an old movie.
Her mind spun. What should she do?
She could ignore him and go back to bed, but her feet were already carrying her across the room, out into the hall, on tiptoe so as not to wake Tessa. She paused by her daughter’s room, hand resting on the doorframe. The faint glow of a nightlight revealed Tessa, curled around her stuffed bear, the picture of contentment.
She looked so peaceful all tired out after playing in the backyard earlier, happily reenacting scenes from her visit to the Thornberg Ranch. Alison smiled at the memory—Tessa pretending to be a goat, then a horse, then a bear, all with a child’s never-ending energy.
And tomorrow, they’d be at the ranch again. Tessa could not wait. And neither could Alison.
But then she realized with a thrill of excitement that she didn’t have to wait until tomorrow to see Jay. He was here. Right now. Outside.
She slipped downstairs, forcing herself to move quietly, and unlocked the front door. A breeze brushed her cheeks, stirring her hair as she stepped onto the porch, and she tightened her robe around her.
Where was he? Had she dreamed him? Conjured him from her imagination?
But then a shadow moved into the moonlight and there he was, just beyond the steps, the faint glow of the moon painting him in silver. His hands hung at his sides. He looked tense, unsure of himself.
Or unsure of her. Didn’t he know the sight of him there, half in shadow, half in moonlight, stole her breath?
He looked otherworldly, as if he truly had been conjured from the pages of a book.
“Jay,” she whispered, the silence between them charged.
He winced slightly. “I’m sorry it’s so late,” he said, voice low. Then he let out a shaky laugh. “No…I’m not sorry. I just—didn’t know how else to do this.”
“Do what?” Fear flared for a moment. “Is everything all right?” A thousand possibilities whirled in her mind. Had something happened at the ranch? Was he hurt? Had he remembered something?
“I’m fine. Better than fine, I guess.” His gaze flicked to the door behind her. “But…there’s something I need to show you.”
She hesitated. “Show me?” she echoed, her voice a touch unsteady. “Tessa’s asleep,” she said, glancing back at the front door. “I can’t leave her alone.”
“We don’t need to go anywhere. But maybe we shouldn’t do this on the front lawn,” he said, almost wincing. “Your neighbors…”
“Do what?” Alison hissed.
“You have a backyard. Let’s go around there,” Jay suggested.
“Okay,” she said, more than a little bewildered. And more than a little intrigued. “Go around the side of the house. I’ll meet you there.”
He dipped his head in agreement, turning on his heel, and she watched him disappear into the shadows, her nerves buzzing.
What on earth…?
She went back inside and closed the door behind her. For a moment, she leaned back against it. Perhaps it should stay shut. Perhaps she should rush around the house, closing and bolting every window and door, and then go back to bed.
After all, it was past midnight, and Jay was practically a stranger. A man who, by his own admission, barely knew himself. Yet she trusted him, wholly, unreservedly, but she couldn’t explain why.
Alison pushed away from the door, her feet carrying her through the house and out the back door. Was she crazy? Yes.
But she had to know what he so desperately needed to show her. And Jay did look desperate, like a man half-possessed when he saw her and stepped out from the shadows. He stopped a few feet away, arms at his sides, posture uncertain, as though he wasn’t sure if she’d actually show up.
Alison left the sanctuary of her house and stepped onto the lawn, her feet instantly dampened by the cool night dew that clung to each blade of grass.
“You’re here,” Jay said, his voice a rough whisper.
“I’m here,” Alison replied, wrapping her arms around herself. The chill of the evening air seeped through her thin robe, but she barely felt it. Her attention was fixed entirely on the man before her. “What’s going on, Jay?”
He took a step closer, then stopped, as if fighting some internal battle. “I’ll show you,” he said and raised his hand as if warning her to keep away. “Just stay there.”
Alison’s anxiety spiked. “Did something happen at the ranch? Did you remember…?”
“It’s not about my memories,” he interrupted abruptly. “Not this time.” He glanced around, swallowing hard. “I’m here to show you who I am. What I am. Because I’ve been trying to find the words. But there aren’t any that make sense. Not for this.”
Alison hugged her robe tighter around her body, suddenly aware of how vulnerable she was—barefoot in her backyard, the night pressing in around them. Yet she couldn’t bring herself to feel afraid. Not of Jay.
“Jay,” she whispered. “I trust you.”
The tension in his shoulders eased a fraction. “Promise you won’t be afraid?”
She stared at him, oddly calm. “I promise.” Because how could she ever be afraid of him?
He closed his eyes, inhaling deeply. The air around him seemed to pop and crackle, shimmering like a heat haze on a summer’s day. Then, in the space of a heartbeat, he vanished. Gone. As if he’d never been there.
“Jay?” she hissed, stepping forward. There was no one, nothing but moonlit grass.
Then a shape loomed before her, big and dark. She froze, instinct screaming at her to get out of there, but she would not run. She’d promised.
Pale moonlight illuminated fur. A bear. Huge, powerful, and unmistakably real. Yet when she looked into its eyes, she saw the same intensity she’d seen in Jay’s.
This bear was Jay.
Her breath caught, a heady mix of wonder and shock flooding her veins. She should be afraid. Every logical part of her brain told her so, but she wasn’t. The only thing she felt was awe.
Taking a step forward, she reached out, her hand trembling. His dark fur was thick and soft under her fingers. He was solid, real.
“Oh my goodness,” she whispered, her voice tight with emotion. She gently stroked the coarse fur on his neck, meeting his gaze. His eyes softened, and she swore she saw relief, affection, and maybe even vulnerability there. A bear, vulnerable. Who would believe it?
She breathed out slowly, fighting the urge to laugh or cry, or possibly both. “Jay,” she said, her voice quivering. “You…you’re…”
What exactly was he?
The bear rumbled low in his throat, a gentle sound that vibrated through her fingertips. He lowered his massive head, nudging her palm with his snout. She smiled, tears in her eyes as she kneeled before him and cupped his massive head in her hands.
It didn’t matter what he was. All she needed to know was that he was hers.
Just as Jay was hers. She’d known it from the first time she’d seen him, the first time she’d touched him. She simply hadn’t accepted it until now.
The bear rubbed his head against her shoulder, a gesture so tender it made her heart ache. The massive creature that could tear her apart with a single swipe was instead treating her like something precious, something to be protected.
“I should be terrified,” she whispered, her fingers still buried in his thick fur. “But I’m not. I feel...safe.”
The bear—Jay—pulled back, his dark eyes meeting hers. There was intelligence there, unmistakable humanity behind the animal gaze. He took a few steps backward, and that strange shimmering returned. The air around him fizzed and popped before he disappeared.
She held her breath, waiting for the impossible to happen. And there it was! A moment later, Jay stood before her again, fully human, fully clothed, looking at her with a mixture of hope and fear.
“Are you okay?” he asked, his voice rough with raw emotion.
Alison slowly rose to her feet, her mind racing to process what she’d just witnessed. She tried to form words, but none seemed adequate. All she could manage was a shaky nod.
“I hope I didn’t scare you,” he said, almost apologetically.
A slow smile curved her lips. “You didn’t.” Her voice wavered slightly as she reached for him, her fingers grazing the back of his hand. That same sense of connection flared between them.
He exhaled, the tension draining from his body. “I wasn’t sure how you’d react.”
Alison laughed softly, rubbing tears from the corner of her eye. “Me neither.” She searched his face, trying to reconcile the memory of him as a massive bear with the man standing here now, both forms so different yet so undeniably the same. “But I…I wasn’t afraid,” she admitted, surprising even herself with the ease of her acceptance.
His gaze held hers. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“Not running.”
She squeezed his hand as the cool night air tugged at her robe. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“Promise me one more thing,” he said roughly.
She arched an eyebrow. “Yes?”
“Please don’t run,” he repeated, voice barely a whisper. “Even if I remember everything… And I’m not the man…” He sucked in a breath. “Please don’t run.”
Emotion stung her eyes. She lifted her free hand to cup his cheek, the faint stubble rasping against her palm. “I’m not going anywhere,” she repeated, willing him to believe her. Believe in her.
Just as she believed in him. Because he was the one who had chased Ronald’s voice from her head. He was the one who had made her see that life was filled with unexpected possibilities.
And unexpected love.