Chapter 11
“My sweet. You’re not supposed to be here.”
His voice took me by surprise as I pushed open a large wooden door, stepping into an overly large bedroom. It was bigger and grander than my own.
The fire snapped and crackled as it lit up the room softly. He stood with his back to me as he looked into a large floor length mirror. Seemingly to do up the collar of his white crisp shirt and then the button on his sleeve. His dark hair was loose and just fell below his shoulders. He looked almost relaxed.
“It is not yet time for your arrival.”
His voice was husky and gentle. He did not turn towards me, just continued preparing his clothes. Throwing his arms into a navy velvet jacket and then slipping on a pair of black dress shoes. He kept his back to me.
“I don’t know how I got here,” I said, confused. When he did not reply, I stepped farther into the room and asked, “Am I not allowed to be here?”
He didn’t seem to notice as I wandered slowly over to his desk, which was littered with endless parchments and maps of our home. My vision slightly blurry as I tried to make out the words on some of the pages.
“As much as I enjoy your presence, no, you are not allowed here, at least not yet.”
Coming up behind me, he surprised me as he wrapped his arm around my waist and breathed in deeply, taking in my scent I shivered at his sudden warmth against my back. I was still in my lilac dress. He ran his free hand up my arm and moved one of the sleeves down a little, lowering his lips towards my shoulder. He seemed to hesitate, making a part of me desperate to feel his lips against my skin.
“I won’t do anything until you ask me. For now, we are to keep our distance.”
A small sigh escaped my lips as he let go of me and the aching feeling from his body no longer next to mine hurt a little. Stepping around me, he went to the table and shifted a few parchments before he seemed to find what he was looking for.
“Are you feeling alright since your memories were returned?”
I lowered my eyes and sat down in the chair in front of his desk, sighing. I wasn’t sure how I was feeling. Confused and angry—upset mostly. But when I was around him, I didn’t feel those things, I felt courageous, daring, and lustful.
“I will be alright. Just taking each day slowly.”
It’s all I could say as I watched him play with the gold ring upon his finger. This was the first time I’d really paid close enough attention to him. When he showed me his face back in the woods, I was overcome with grief by that memory. It was hard to picture him, but now staring at him, I would remember that face forever.
“I will see you soon, my princess. For now, you best head back.”
His voice brought my attention back to him and away from his ring. His smile was breathtaking as he took one of my hands and brushed his lips against my knuckles. Something I was starting to think he enjoyed doing. Then suddenly, I felt the ground beneath me fall through and my eyes flung open.
As my eyes adjusted to the light around me, I registered all the eyes that stared down at me. From this angle, I was blinded by the sunlight until an arm wrapped around my waist and lifted me up in the air.
Suddenly, I was being carried and then set down on something hard, a bench perhaps? It took me a few seconds to realise it was Lord Cole who had carried me. Marcus was standing protectively over me and holding onto his sword.
“What happened?” I managed to ask.
“You fainted, your highness. Are you alright?”
Cole looked at me with worry in his eyes, which I only noticed had small specks of grey. They reminded me of my shadow man. Which in turn seemed to spark a little memory. A flash. Those same eyes staring at me in the middle of a beautifully lit dance floor, glittering lights sparkling throughout as many bodies danced together while Lord Cole held his hand out towards me.
And within a blink of an eye, the memory was gone.
“What was that?” I uttered without realising I spoke out loud.
“Do you need me to take you home?”
Lord Cole seemed concerned for my wellbeing, and it was as sweet as it was surprising. I didn’t expect him to give me such compassion, and quite frankly, I wasn’t used to men showing me any sense of kindness.
He dressed almost as casually as I did. A powder blue shirt fitted nicely across his chest, while a black throw on jacket kept his arms warm.
“Marcus will see me home, I’m sure.”
“What about your horse?” Marcus asked as soon as Lord Cole stepped back and Marcus took his place.
“I can send my men to fetch your horses and bring them safely home, if of course, it’s alright with her highness. I have a carriage ready to take you anywhere you wish to go.”
Lord Cole didn’t want to back down. He was adamant he’d be the one to take me home, and as much as I hoped to spend some time with him, it would not be alone.
“Marcus, perhaps you can ride behind with Juniper and your horse?”
The idea arrived in my head quickly. This would give me a chance to sit with Cole alone in his carriage. Perhaps I could ask him more questions about the valley, and why I felt as if we had met before—before the courtyard that is.
“As you wish, your highness.”
Marcus bowed before he stepped back and headed towards the committee house where we had left our horses. Lord Cole held out his hand for me to take, and I thought about it for a second. Mother wouldn’t be too happy if she found out I took a carriage ride with Lord Cole. Especially after telling me to stay away from him. A small smile teased on my lips as I thought about how angry she would be, and how much I would secretly enjoy disobeying her.
“Will you be okay to walk? My carriage is a short distance away.”
Taking Lord Cole”s hand, he helped me to my feet. Then he linked my arm with his and we walked at a steady pace towards his carriage. It was thankfully only a street or two over from the committee house.
The carriage Dorian had arrived in was no longer in the square, and he was nowhere to be seen. I hoped he didn’t spot me earlier. I didn’t want him questioning me, and most certainly didn’t want him anywhere near me. Even the thought of his hands on my skin made me shiver and nauseous.
“Are you cold?” Lord Cole asked as we stopped, shrugging off his jacket.
“I’m fine,” I told him as he placed the jacket over my shoulders. “Thank you. You didn’t have to.”
“Of course, I did, you are my princess, and we can’t have you catching a cold now can we?”
His coach hand was quick to open the carriage door, and Lord Cole helped me up before stepping in behind me. The door shut tightly, and I noticed how much smaller the carriage was than the ones I was used to, it was very snug and smelt a little damp.
“Apologies for it not being luxurious. This was the last carriage I could hire.”
“I wonder why,” I thought to myself, and his eyes lifted to me, as if he heard me.
“Thank you for offering to take me home, today has not gone as planned,” I admitted quietly.
I settled into my seat and pulled his jacket a little more around my body. The scent of pine needles and ale sprinkled across my nose, which made my heart flutter a little. Staring out the window we were quiet for some of the journey. Carriage rides took longer than horse rides, and I believed Marcus had joined us as we left the city and headed home.
“What were you planning to do today then? If you don’t mind me asking.”
Looking at him, his face seemed soft, he was clean shaven, and his hair tied up at the base of his neck. He had a face one would never tire of, and any woman would be happy to have him on her arm. Any pure woman, but now—now I was tainted.
“Oh, I was visiting the committee house who are organising the festival and the jousting tournament.”
“Ah yes, the prince did mention something. He enquired about me signing up, but I’m afraid I would make a fool of myself.”
“I highly doubt that, I have the feeling you are quite the skilled rider. And it is only a bit of fun, we have some lovely prizes for the winner and runner up.”
“Yes, I heard that too, you are supposed to host the runner up.”
“Mhm, a wonderful idea from her majesty.”
I rolled my eyes at that, huffing a little. I wasn’t sure if I would even like to meet any male. Lord Cole however, he seemed different and nothing like what Norok had suggested. But then again, he could be a master of charming women and fooling them into bed.
“I shall hope to be the runner up then.”
He winked at me and leaned back into his seat, becoming more comfortable and looked out the window. Our legs brushed against each other as the roads became bumpier and my heart fluttered with excitement.
I’d never willingly been this close to a man before, that wasn’t my brother or father. As we continued on the road, we turned and I recognised it to be the one which led to my home.
“His highness’s wedding is this week, is it not?”
“Yes, the day after the festival. Are you still planning to attend? All of the court will be moving to the castle within the city tomorrow.”
“I believe that is why I was originally invited. I have just managed to sneak into many other festivities it seems.”
His breath caught against my skin as we looked at each other. A half smile peeking out from his lips and a blush flooded my cheeks. If Mother knew how close we were while we sat in the carriage, she’d have a fit of rage. As it was, she would not be amused when she found out he and I had been speaking.
“Lord Cole, may I ask you something?”
“Cole, please, your highness. And of course, you may ask me anything.”
I bit the bottom of my lip, wondering if I should continue as my question would be deemed personal and perhaps it would anger him to find me nosy.
“My brother, Norok, he—eh—he mentioned to me that you are,” pausing, I wasn’t sure how to word my question. Finally, I rushed out, “He mentioned you are always with the ladies of the court. Is that true?”
Cole laughed a little under his breath and I felt stupid for mentioning anything. Why was I even asking such a thing? He was his own person, and as Mother would say, men have needs. Perhaps his needs were far greater than most.
“I will let you in on a secret,” he leaned forward a bit more. His breath smelled more like peppermint tea. “I am heir to a vast fortune and most of the ladies you speak of, it seems they flock to me once they have heard about such a fortune.”
Had Norok lied about Cole needing to marry for money and station? Or was that just another rumour that floated through the court?
“But, I am afraid I am already spoken for,” he admitted softly.
My heart flooded with disappointment at his words. The feeling of sadness washed over me. He was already spoken for? My shoulders slumped a little as his words settled in.
I did not care for his fortune. I had hoped we would get to know one another and perhaps become something more. I was already spoiled, so it no longer mattered truthfully how pure I was for my future husband. I just hoped we would become closer, founder of each other, and perhaps, when the time came, I would explain to him what happened.
Well, a long time after Dorian had met the ferryboat of the dead.
“Oh, she is a fortunate lady then,” I amended calmly.
It’s all I could master up to say as I turned away a little to look back out the window, hoping we would be arriving home soon.
“It’s a shame though, I do not think she knows how I feel. But in due course, I am sure she will find out.”
Looking back quickly, my face gave away what my thoughts were. She did not know of his feelings? Or was she betrothed and had not met him just yet? My mind raced with the possibilities of who this lady could be and why she was kept in the dark about her future husband.
“Well, I hope you will be able to tell her one day,” I told him.
“One day, yes.”
His smile captivated me and soon the carriage came to a stop. The coach man opened the door, to allow us to get out. Cole left first and then helped me out. Marcus was already standing waiting as stable boys came rushing to take our horses away.
The castle seemed quiet. No one came out to greet me and for that, I was thankful. Hopefully Mother had no idea who had brought me home or what had happened in the square.
“Until the jousting, princess. I shall pray I receive your favour.”
When he brushed his lips against my knuckles, my body shuddered the same way it did when my shadow man did it. Cole’s eyes lifted towards me, and those same specks of grey sparkled within them, making a sense of unknowing wash over me.
We had done this before.
I was sure of it.
Ididn’t want to brave bringing in Cole inside the castle walls, especially with Mother running around prepping the final touches for her darling boy”s wedding day. I didn’t wish to be pulled into doing any of the organising. Instead, I settled for sitting out in the rose garden, hoping to go through my thoughts from today.
Sitting down on one of the stone benches, Cole’s jacket still rested on my shoulders seeing as I had forgotten to give it back to him. I would need to hide it in my room before Mother found it. Thankfully, Kathlyn was always quick to aid me with such things.
“Oh, your highness, we missed you at the tea house.”
Lady Gelda curtsied low to the ground as soon as she spotted me, I threw the jacket off my shoulders and hid it behind my back, hoping she did not see. Her and Mother had grown close, so I wasn’t always sure I could trust her with anything.
I’d completely forgotten I was going to meet Gelda for tea at some point today. It slipped my mind once I spotted Dorian and the events that unfolded afterwards..
“I do apologise Lady Gelda, something came up with the festival planning that needed my attention.”
“Ah yes, the queen did say you had some errands to run when I mentioned you’d not joined me. I apologise if my ladies and I are disturbing you now, you looked very lost in thought.”
“That’s quite alright, I was just out here getting some fresh air. How are you?”
Her ladies in waiting all curtsied and then stood farther back as she fanned herself lightly. The air was a little humid as the spring season grew warmer. I had not noticed it very much, even if it was my favourite time of year. Lately, my mind had been preoccupied. Gelda was joined mostly at my mother’s hip, or at least had been these past few weeks. Possibly so Mother could keep a close eye on that growing belly, which was still yet to show.
“Was that Lord Cole I saw at the gates?” One of her ladies asked, stepping forward.
“Yes, I believe it was. He’s such a wonderful, kind man isn’t he, your highness? I hear he is looking for a future wife. Has he said anything to you, perhaps?”
Gelda looked at me with serious eyes and a soft smile. Yes, she was trying to stay in Mother’s good graces and possibly run back to her with information.
“Is he? I can’t recall sharing maybe three words with Lord Cole, and even then, they were uneventful and uninteresting.”
Shifting a little, I could already sense where this was going. I had no issues or problems with Lady Gelda, but it seemed a little evasive for her to ask such a personal question.
Most of the men around court acted the same with Father. Always trying to get in his good graces. Doing anything to stay in favour of the king and queen was a good thing for one’s social standing.
“I do hope he attends the wedding. He’s a wonderful dancer, or so I’m told. I know Prince Norok has invited him to a luncheon tomorrow to discuss some things, and formally invite him.”
Nodding in agreement, I knew I wasn’t going to get any peace if I stayed here longer, but soon enough Gelda took the seat next to me and her ladies sat on a bench farther up. Though, still within listening distance.
“I am excited for the wedding. I tried on my dress this morning. It’s such a shame you were not available to attend the fitting. I believe your bridesmaid dress was there as Talia tried hers on,” she paused brushing a strand of hair behind her ear, “I am sure you will look lovely in whatever dress we put you in.”
Talia was back? I had no idea and hadn’t been notified. I assumed she would not be back for a few more days, so this made me worried. Dorian was roaming the halls, and I had no idea if he was going to set his sights on her and do the horrendous acts he did to me—to my sweet baby sister.
“That’s lovely news Lady Gelda, and I do apologise for not being there this morning. As I said, I had some business to take care of.”
“Would that business involve Lord Cole?”
She winked at me, and my blood began to boil a little under my skin. I knew this game. Many had already tried to play it with me, and they always ended up losing. This would be the same.
“Ah ha, as I said it was festival business.” I tried to keep my smile in place as she took hold of my hand, squaring her shoulders and smiling a little.
“You can tell me, your highness, we are to become sisters after all. Your secrets are safe with me.”
Like a mouse in a lion’s den, she believed me to be the mouse, but my roar would always be far greater than hers.
“My apologies, Lady Gelda, but when did we become such good friends that I shared my ins and outs with you?” I asked coldly.
Her eyes widened a little as she swallowed the lump clearly forming in her throat, her face reddening.
“And, I don’t recall giving you permission to be so informal with me. You may perhaps be marrying my brother, but we all know the real reason why and what grows in your belly. Or is that a lie so you may snatch the crowned prince?” I pressed, dropping her hand into her lap forcefully.
I looked her up and down before standing. She may have pushed a nerve, but I didn’t enjoy being questioned about where or what I’d been doing. If Mother wanted to know, maybe she should come and ask me. Not send someone in her stead.
Taking my leave, I picked up the jacket behind me, no longer bothered if she ran back to Mother and folded it over my arms. She and her ladies quickly stood and curtsied in response. Already the tension in the air had grown stale.
I wasn’t the type of person to make nasty remarks or even speak unkindly to someone, but I had the impression she was on a fishing expedition and looking for things to gossip about as well as tell Mother everything.
“You might be blessed after your marriage with the title of a royal, but your blood will never truly belong here. So, don’t forget your place,” I said with a sneer.
As I began to walk away, I could hear the mumbles and words whispered behind my back. I headed out the rose garden and into the tree line. The sun was not ready to set for another few hours, and I was not ready to head inside.
I dreaded potentially bumping into Dorian, but even Talia I wasn’t sure if I wished to see now. She was usually the one clued up in all the court gossip, and if Lady Gelda had spotted me with Lord Cole, that meant Talia already knew, and likely Mother.
Today was not turning out the way I hoped it would.