Chapter 34
Pacing my study, I kept replaying the words Ornella had said in my mind on a continuous loop. Percy just sat there waiting for whatever command I had for him. Why was he even here? Did I send for him? I couldn’t remember.
When Ornella didn’t arrive for dinner last night, I knew it was because of my attitude and harsh words. Words I wasn’t sure I even meant. She’d bruised my ego and vexed me so much that I wanted to hurt her.
Rubbing my temples from the headache that formed behind my eyes from lack of sleep, I tried to calm my racing thoughts. Percy held his hand up towards me, holding a glass of the strongest brandy we processed. I snatched it out of his hand as I walked past him.
“I’m guessing you found the princess and shared a few heartfelt words?”
Percy was such a sarcastic prick. He obviously knew by now the village I found Ornella in was burnt to the ground. The new kitchen maid, or whatever she was going to be, was being introduced to my sisters and the staff this morning.
“She’s really got you in a knot hasn’t she,” he said, more as a statement than a question.
Squeezing my hand tightly, I shattered the glass of brandy. The alcohol didn’t burn the wounds as they appeared and then healed within the next breath, closing almost instantly.
“You know if you keep breaking glasses, Claire will start shouting at you. I can only keep our delightful housekeeper at bay for so long,” he said coyly, raising his glass to his lips.
“I am sure as her king, she wouldn’t dare say a word,” I replied, baring my teeth.
“Seriously, Nic, if this girl bothers you so much, send her home and be done with all of this.”
Sitting down with a slouch of my shoulders, I rested my chin on my knuckles. How much shit would happen if I did send her away? She clearly didn’t want to be here, that was obvious. But I couldn’t stop thinking about the way she looked at me after I rescued her or the sudden quick beat of my heart as I held her in my arms. Did I truly want to send her away or was I just being selfish? Or was keeping her here the selfish thing?
“She will remain here. Let them bring a war. They will not win.”
Percy rolled his eyes at me and sipped on his drink. My advisor and closest friend knew not to argue with me, but I did hope he would, I was desperate for a good argument. Ornella however, would make me lose my mind if she continued to push my buttons.
Tonight, we were meant to do our marriage rites. April insisted. I just wasn’t sure if Ornella would feel comfortable doing them when she wasn’t sure if she even wanted to be my wife. If I sent her away before the rites, she would be free from the bond it would bring.
“She’s incredibly frustrating, Percy. I have never in all my years met a girl who I wanted to strangle and kiss all in the same breath.”
“Ah, some girls like that sort of thing, mate,” he said with a grin and a wink.
Forever the ladies’ man but never wanting to settle down—unless it was with Vanessa. I always knew he liked one of my sisters, but it was only when Vanessa returned to court after our parents” death, did he really start to show interest.
Not that I minded a flirtation. She could fuck him from sunset to sunrise for all I cared. She just wasn’t allowed to marry him. I wouldn’t risk our friendship if he broke her heart. I”d have to take of him—permanently—if he did such a stupid thing.
“Honestly, Nic, I don’t see the big issue here. She’s good looking, seems smart, has all her wits about her, and you two would make beautiful babies.”
Again, he laughed, mocking me in my time of conflict. Flicking my finger, a shadow wiped across the room and caught him in his hand, knocking his glass on the floor.
“Don’t bring babies into this, I’m not even sure I want to bed her, yet.”
“If you don’t, I will.”
At the thought of him rolling around with Ornella naked, my blood began to boil. I was up on my feet before I realised. He held his hands up in surrender as I lifted him up by his collar, laughter erupting from his mouth despite being subjected to my fury.
“She is mine,” I growled.
“Well, that answers my next question,” he mumbled, his laughter finally dying down.
Percy always knew how to get me riled up. Lowing him down on the ground, I rolled my eyes and turned away as he adjusted his shirt. He also knew how to defuse a situation by making it off as a jest.
“If you get this angry about me suggesting such a thing, no wonder she ran from you. You should tell her how you feel, instead of being a dick about it and pushing her away.”
He left the room then, leaving me to my thoughts of how right he was. Not only did I know that Percy was right, I was also annoyed over how it made me feel.
Refusing to leave my quarters for the rest of the morning, I hovered over the papers I needed to sieve through for the day as they were littered across my table. Most of them were requests. Favours from the other lords in the kingdom asking for more grain, gold, or aid.
I would always grant the aid for medical purposes, but gold and grain, those came with a price and were something I would not willingly give away. Especially to a lord who only still sat in their seats because they refused to die and let their heir take over.
“So, when were you going to tell me about the marriage rites?!” Ornella exclaimed, stomping through the door.
“Afternoon, Ornella,” I clipped, sitting back in my chair.
She barged in like a woman on a mission. Although I found it amusing, what amused me more were the two guards who rushed in behind her, looking fearful for their lives when they stopped behind her.
“We’re sorry, your majesty, her highness refused to listen that you were not to be disturbed.”
“I have questions and I demand answers,” she said sharply, glaring at the guards defiantly.
She really was standing her ground. I had no idea where this sudden confidence came from, and I was enjoying the lift in her spirit.
“I will answer your questions, Ornella,” I answered, trying to maintain my seriousness as she was.
Glancing towards the guards, I nodded for them to leave. They shut the door behind them, leaving me with a rather angry looking bride-to-be.
I didn’t give her the attention she clearly wanted for the first few minutes as I continued to read through a parchment. When I gestured for her to sit down opposite my desk, she did not. Instead, she fiddled with the books in one of my many bookcases. Already distracted by her presence, I watched as she moved to a lit candle.
She played with the flame, running her hand in and out of the fire. She was wearing a blue dress that hugged her form in all the right places. My mouth watered at the sight of her. Even if she did piss me off, I desperately wanted to feel myself deep inside her.
Shaking my head of images, I went back to the parchment. The words were now a jumbled mess. I could not concentrate with her here.
“You could hurt yourself if you keep doing that,” I muttered as she carried on playing with the flame.
“Yeah, I’ve been told that before, but it never seems to hurt. More of a tickle, really.”
My eyes flicked up at her as I set the parchment down. She glanced towards me, a blush setting across her cheeks when our eyes locked. She darted her stare back, focusing her attention on the flame once again.
“Well, you came in here pretty forcefully. If you could wield a sword, I’m sure you would have pointed it at me. You seemed quite irritated.”
“I can hold a sword, I just choose to cut with words instead.”
“Oh, trust me, Annwyl, I already know that sting.”
I wasn’t sure when I started calling her Annwyl. The word had returned to me in a memory, much like the anger and frustration from knowing her had. Even when we were just children running through the woods, she annoyed me. At least I could find comfort in the fact that some things stayed the same.
“What does that even mean? I feel as if I should know already. Did you used to call me that?”
Was she also able to hear my own thoughts now? I watched her closely as she finally left the flame alone and took the seat opposite me. She crossed her arms, raising an eyebrow as she waited for me to answer.
“Is this one of your questions?”
“No, but you should tell me the answer anyhow.”
She ran her fingers through her long red hair as it fell neatly around her face. It was one of the many things I liked about her face. I enjoyed the way her hair sat beautifully around it, creating a nice contrast to her hazel eyes and tanned, freckled skin.
“It means dear one or darling. It’s something from my native tongue. We don’t speak it as often as we used to, but there are still a few words that slip in. And to answer your other question, yes, I am pretty sure it’s what I called you before.”
She simply nodded at my response and began to fidget the fabric of her dress that gathered around her thighs. I turned away, biting my lip as I dared not keep staring.
“You asked about the marriage rites and how I had not told you. I’d assumed you’d done your reading.”
“I’ve had other things on my mind than reading books. Nicholas, you should have pre-warned me,” she demanded, her eyes pinning me in place.
“Why? Is it such an issue that you may have to see me naked? I assure you, what is underneath these clothes is quite spectacular, or so I’ve been told,” I replied smugly.
“You’ve possibly only been told that as you’re the king.”
Laughing at her clear sarcastic comment, I nodded in agreement as she was sure to be right. Any woman who has seen me has always commented on my looks, and there was a chance it was simply due to the fact they did not wish to offend me. Whereas, Ornella kept me on my toes, quite happy to offend me.
“And besides, clothing is optional, and I hereby opt for the clothes,” she said with finality.
“If that is what you wish, then that is fine.”
Her eyes lifted up in some form of surprise and delight at my reply. Did she think I would force her to be naked? I knew of almost everything she’d been put through. Knew of all the times her own control was taken from her. I hoped she knew that I would never force her to do anything with me or for me. She held full control of every piece on the chess board. I wish she would figure that out already.
“What about the whole washing of hair and our bodies?”
I watched as concern flashed across her face. I wanted to reach out and touch her hand, to reassure her, but refrained from moving.
“It is again what you wish. If you feel more comfortable enough then we will do that. There are cloths available that will cover anything you want covered.”
I’d already requested that April have something made for Ornella, just in case. I knew it would be too much to ask Ornella to go completely bare in front of me. I could wait. I would wait.
“And the part about personal things? I don’t have any secrets and the one I did have, you already know.”
“Ornella—despite all those awful things in the summer house, I do want some form of friendship with you.”
Getting up from the table, I walked around. As she shifted in her chair, I knelt down in front of her, keeping my eyes on hers. I could hear her mind race with a mix of sensations—passion, wanting, confusion, and lust as I brushed a stray strand of hair off her face and tucked it behind her ear..
We really were hot and cold. Ice and fire. Polar opposites, but I couldn’t keep away no matter how hard I tried. Even without the full story of our history and my own mind burying things, I was still drawn to her.
Every time after I left, I would visit her and watch her as she sat at the waterfall”s edge, reading a book, and just enjoying the peace and quiet. I envied her and wished to sit beside her, to enjoy her company, even if it were for only a moment. Becoming king took me away from her, but even before that, after her attempt at our kiss, I had vanished. I ran away from her and she felt all that pain. Even now, she remembered it.
Leaning a bit away from her then, I removed my hand which was resting against her cheek and cleared my throat as I got back up. “If you wish, we will be friends. I can do that for you.”
“Will you kill any more people in my name? Those women in the tavern may have been in the wrong, but did they really deserve to die? Or that village to be set ablaze?”
“Ornella, I will do everything in this world to keep you safe. They deserved to die, they sent those men to assault you, to violate you, and rob you. I have no doubt they would have murdered you if I didn’t show up in time.”
Turning and moving away from her, I tightened my hands into fists. The thought of her being attacked and sullied awoke something in me I had no idea was even there. The very idea of her being harmed by anyone would make me set the world on fire, not just a small village.
“You are still a guest of my kingdom and should be protected. Even if we weren’t in our deal, I would have done everything the same.”
Hearing the chair legs behind me move, I turned as she began to walk towards the door. I had no clue why she was leaving. Had I offended her once again? Surely the death of those people didn’t matter that much to her.
“Ornella, stay here and speak with me. I won’t read your mind to find out what’s going on, I’d rather you tell me yourself.”
She stopped in her tracks and wrapped her arms around herself. As much as I wanted to listen in on her mind, I couldn’t, it would be an invasion of her privacy. Even the times I did speak to her via our thoughts, I never meant to find out information about her. It was always an accident.
“You are what’s on my mind, Nic. One minute you say you do not want me, then you save me, only to disappear and then the next thing you want is to become friends. I tell you I believe I am unlovable, and you don’t even bat an eyelid—a friend would say something about that.”
“I don’t know what you wish to hear. I find the idea of you being unlovable strange when I have seen many surround you with love. My sister, Morgana for example, is besotted by you and already adores you. Vanessa as well, despite her original feelings.”
She smiled a little then. I only knew the love my parents shared for one another—passionate and all consuming. They fought like a cat with a mouse, forever chasing after the other but always making up in the end. I wasn’t sure if I wanted something like that, but I knew I wanted the passion.
Ornella already afflicted my every thought, waking and asleep. Her very being put me off balance and I wasn’t entirely sure when that happened. There continued to be this pull between us, and I was sure she felt it too. I just didn’t want to ask for fear of it all being in my head and getting rejected.
“Do you think,” she bit the bottom of her lip, pausing to speak and I took a few steps forward as she took some back.
“I think about a lot of things,” I replied as I continued to try and close the gap between us.
“That’s not what I meant.”
She backed into the wooden door of my study as I stepped in front of her. Unable to control myself, I placed a hand to the side of her head and then the other close to her waistline. A few inches away from her, I could now feel her warm breath against my skin. I could faintly hear her heartbeat begin to pump faster as the scent of lavender and roses hit my nose. She smelled so good.
“What do you mean then?” I asked, trying not to part her legs with my own leg to bring her closer to me.
“Will we only stay friends once we are married? Do you think you will hate me for ruining your life and bonding it with my own?”
My eyes softened a little as I thought of her words. I wish I knew the answer. I knew I could never hate her, but right now all I wanted was to fill the remaining space between us and cover her lips with mine. But she was clearly lost in her own thoughts of worry, which I needed to help ease.
“I could never hate you. And having you in my life will not ruin it. If you wish to only stay friends, then that is what our relationship shall be. If you wish for me, then you only have to ask.”
She rolled her eyes at me then squared her shoulders, the sudden change in her body language made her stand up straighter.What wrong thing have I said now?
“You have already told me when we are alone, that I will find no comfort from you. Which is it, Nic? Are you to be a devoted husband outside these walls as well as in them? Or will I have to find someone to keep my bed warm when you refuse to enter it?”
Grabbing her by the waistline, I parted her legs and pulled her against me. The same surge of anger ran through me as it did with Percy. Seeing her or envisioning her with another man made me want to skin whoever it was alive.
“All this back-and-forth hurt and confuse me, Nic. I do not know what you want from me,” she muttered, her breath fanning against my skin as I came close to her face.
“I told you once, when you are my wife, I will show you things no other woman has ever seen before. I am just as confused as you are with my feelings. All I know right now is I want you—I want every inch of you—but I will not push, and I will not beg for you to want me back.”
She bit her lip again and I wanted to claim her there and then. I wanted to fill her and make her mine. However, I controlled myself, regardless of how difficult it was becoming with her this close to me.
I went to loosen my grip on her, and her hand flew up to hold mine there before she looked up at me under her hooded lashes.
“Ever since that day in the woods, where we danced, I have wanted you, too. But I am afraid I will fall, and you will not be there to catch me. You continue to push me away and hurt me, all for reasons I am unsure of. I should have told you I still wanted to marry you yesterday, but I also wanted you to heal my brother,” she admitted, a tear escaping her eye.
I brushed it away with my thumb, holding my breath as I waited for her next words.
“We will take the marriage rites and the vow to each other, but only then will I allow you to have every inch of me. That is, when I am ready, and I trust you will not break my heart.”
She pressed up onto her toes, brushing her lips against mine. This was the first time she has chosen to kiss me. I wasn”t forcing my lips to hers like the last two times. It ended just as fast as it had begun. Ornella pressed her palm to my chest, urging me backwards and removing herself from my grip.
Turning towards the door to leave, she said, “I will see you tonight.”
Not only did she leave me to think over her statement , but I now had a rock-hard cock that I knew if I did not sort, I wouldn’t be able to contain myself tonight.