A Game Of Love (A Forbidden Game #2)

Chapter 20

Tobias

Bishop and Lilly are out on a date. So, instead of sitting in my dorm room like a loser waiting for them to come back, I chose to go home and hang out with the boys.

It’s been a busy weekend, and after partying hard last night in celebration of our win, a day to just sit around and play video games with Bennett and the twins has been nice.

I didn’t drink because I can’t with my meds, but between practice, the party, and the very eventful end of the night with Lilly, I’m fucking beat.

Life is good. For once, I can confidently say that. Therapy is going good. I like Gracie. She’s gotten me to open up more than I ever thought I would. She never makes me feel stupid when I’m being honest. She seems like she genuinely cares and wants to help.

I’m taking my meds even though the side effects sometimes give me rough days. But with the help of Lilly and Bishop, I push through.

It’s taken me a while, but the animosity towards Bishop regarding Lilly is no longer there. The two of them together doesn’t bother me anymore, there’s no jealousy or anger. Seeing both of my best friends happy and together is something I enjoy.

There’s always a little piece of me that fears I’m not good enough, that she’s going to leave me because of it.

But Gracie has been helping me through it, and anytime I get those thoughts, I call her up, and she talks me down. Part of me thinks I should go to Lilly with those feelings, but it’s not her job to constantly reassure me. I need to trust she loves me, wants me, and be okay with that.

It’s all a work in progress, and nothing will ever be perfect.

There are only two more things that need to be done for life to be how it needs to be: tell our parents and then the whole world.

Lilly might be fine with it, find it easy, eager to share. But me? It’s hard. So damn hard.

Gracie says it’s because I don’t want to disappoint my father. He trusted me to be there for Lilly, to protect her like a big brother should. And what did I do? Go and fall in love with her and do the exact thing I promised I’d never do. Hurt her.

Telling our parents isn’t the part that scares me the most, it’s telling the world.

Yes, I know Lilly doesn’t care what people think of her, of us, or how we choose to live our lives. But I know she’s not impenetrable. Words do hurt her.

I saw how Bella’s words affected her. It’s the angriest I’ve gotten in a while. Just because Bella is a woman, it didn’t stop me from getting in her face and letting her know just how uncalled for her words were. I told her that Lilly is my everything and just because she was jealous she didn’t have a chance with me, and never did, didn’t mean she had the right to take it out on her.

I should have been more dismissive of her flirting at supper, but seeing as I was at someone else's house, around her family, I didn’t want to embarrass her or cause any hostility.

Even so, I was wrong. I should have let her know I wasn’t available. What bothered me the most was that she knew this. Lilly told me when she was over a few weeks earlier, she told Bella I had a girlfriend. The fact that she didn’t respect that made me even more angry.

Seeing Lilly so broken and defeated, even though she did her best to put on a brave face and act like she was fine, crushed me.

That was my biggest fear. It was only one person’s opinion. A nasty, uncalled-for one.

What will it do to Lilly if more people say the same things to her? Because the reality is, there's a good chance something like that is going to happen again, more than once.

This is what I’ve been trying to prevent. But by doing that, I was pushing away the person I love the most in the world.

Gracie’s advice is to stand by Lilly’s side and fight these battles with her. And she’s right. Of course, she's right. It’s the same thing Lilly offered to do for me, so why shouldn’t I do those for her?

To stand by her side and remind her those words mean nothing and aren’t true, no matter how fucking much it hurts to hear them.

Sometimes, I’ll catch myself watching her while she laughs or smiles, and I think, how could I have pushed her away like I did? How could I miss those years with her? It hurts to think about, to know how much I’ve missed out with her.

That's why I know I’ll do whatever I can to make it work. Get whatever help I need so I can be a better man not only for myself but for her and the future we’re going to build together.

Because Lilly and I were inevitable. We were always going to be together. Fate had our names written in the stars.

“No, no, no, no!” Bennett shouts, jamming his fingers against the buttons of the controller. “Damn it!” he groans, tossing his controller onto the coffee table. He swings his pissed-off glare at me. “You suck, you know that?”

I huff out a chuckle, raising a brow. “Because I won?”

“I’m your brother, you're supposed to go easy on me.”

“Really?” I deadpan. “You’d want me to let you win.”

“No,” he grumbles. “I want to earn my wins, not be given them.”

“Thought so,” I say, amused.

“Wanna go again? I need another shot to kick your ass.”

“Yeah. We can.” I nod. “But can I talk to you about something?”

Things between Bennett and I have gotten a lot better. He sees me with Lilly, sees how happy she is, and that I’m not being a royal asshole to her. It has lessened the evil glares and cold shoulders he once gave me. We’ve been hanging out like we are tonight a lot more, too.

When I was staying here for those few weeks, things were good.

Bennett has a close relationship with Lilly. An actual brotherly one, unlike me, but even then, they’re more like best friends. They tell each other everything.

So I know it’s been hard to keep our relationship from him. Tonight, I want to change that.

I don’t want Bennett to be blindsided when the time comes to tell our parents. Because while I don't think they would be hurt or betrayed, I feel like Bennett might in a way.

“Sure?” His brows pinch. “What about?”

“Well, first off, how are you? How's life going?”

He blows out a breath, moving his legs up to sit crisscross on the couch. “Good. Grades are decent.”

“That's good. How about things with your friends?” I know he went to a Halloween party, and Easton was there with his new girlfriend. Bennett wasn’t too happy about that.

“We’re fine.” He shrugs. “Why wouldn’t we be?”

“No reason.” I laugh. “Just asking questions.”

Bennett nods slowly. He’s quiet for a moment before he speaks again. “There is something that not even Lilly knows.”

My brows raise when I see a blush take over his cheeks. “Yeah?” I lean back against the couch. “What’s that?”

“I... kinda... sorta... have a boyfriend.” He chews on his lip nervously before blurting. “It’s not a big deal. We’re not telling anyone because the kids at my school are fucking assholes. But... yeah.”

“Really?” I grin. “No shit.”

“Yeah.” He smiles softly.

“Well,” I laugh. “Don’t hold out on me. Who is it? What's his name?”

He chuckles. “His name is Tyler. He just moved to Silver Valley. He’s pretty awesome. Very open. Doesn’t give a shit about what anyone thinks about him. He kind of reminds me of Lilly, with a mix of Bishop’s playfulness.”

“Oh boy.” I grin, shaking my head. “You got your hands full then.”

“Come on. Bishop isn’t that bad.” Bennett grins wide. My damn heart flips. Seeing my little brother happy, smiling, and talking to me... it means a lot. My hands fist together as my nose stings with emotion. I missed this. Fuck, did I ever miss this.

“No. He’s not, is he?”

“He’s good for her, you know?” Bennett says, his smile falling a bit. “He makes her happy. So do you.”

I look away, swallowing hard.

“You two are good again. That makes me happy,” he whispers. “I didn’t like seeing her hurt, Toby. You fucked up.”

“I know,” I say softly, bringing my attention back to him. “And I hate myself every day for it.”

“Don’t.” He shakes his head. “She wouldn't want you to. She loves you too much to see you hurt.”

Damn, this kid. Don’t fucking cry. Damn it.

“She makes me happy too, you know?”

“Duh.” He laughs. “She’s the best thing that could have ever happened in your life.” He rolls his eyes. “I’m just happy you finally pulled your head out of your ass and did the right thing. How it took you two years to make her your girlfriend is beyond me.”

My eyes widen. “Y-you know?”

He gives me a blank look. “Really? How subtle do you think the two of you are? You give each other googoo-eyes all the time. That‘s not how a brother looks at a sister. It’s how she and Bishop look at each other. I kind of put two and two together. Also, finding you two kissing on Halloween was a dead giveaway."

“You saw that, huh?” I ask, scratching the back of my head.

“Yup.”

“How come you didn’t say anything?”

He shrugs. “With everything that has been happening in both of your lives, I knew you would tell me when you felt it was time. For the record, I’m happy for you both. After I saw you kiss, I kind of thought about how close you two have always been and didn’t know how I didn’t question it before.” He laughs. “Because, man, was it obvious. I mean, who sleeps in their brother's bed?”

“Huh,” I sigh. “Well, this conversation went a lot better than I thought.”

“I do want to warn you, though. If you hurt her, my dad is a billionaire. I’ll pay someone to bury your body,” he threatens in a serious tone.

I chuckle. “You got it, man.”

He looks at me for a moment before launching himself at me. “I love you, Toby,” he whispers, and fucking hell, there goes the tears.

Quickly, he detaches himself from me and stands up, heading towards the kitchen because he needs a minute. “Popcorn?” he calls out.

“Yeah,” my voice cracks. “Sounds good.”

It’s things like this that give me the strength to keep going.