A Gift for the Hopeful Cowboy: Love in Sweet Bloom

Chapter 18

Exhaustion.That was the biggest issue Rob dealt with. And it wasn’t for lack of trying. He’d gone to bed at a decent hour every day this week, yet he still couldn’t manage to fall asleep. Every crack, every dimple, every plaster line in the ceiling had been emblazoned on his mind.

When he wasn’t staring at the ceiling, he couldn’t stop thinking about Pippa and how everything he wanted had slipped through his fingers. He’d lost his temper, he could admit that. He wasn’t perfect.

But there was something to be said about the way she’d disregarded his request to leave the college issue alone. He’d finally allowed himself to let go of the idea he needed a degree to make something of himself. Pippa had agreed with him on that. The cons far outweighed the pros.

Their argument only confirmed one thing.

Pippa couldn’t stand that he was a quitter. She wasn’t willing to let him simply live with the mistakes he’d made. While it was an endearing quality when it actually helped, and he adored that side of her, this was not the time for it to come shining through. And the worst part? He couldn’t fault her for it. She was allowed to have her opinions.

He’d only hoped his education wouldn’t have been something she continued to push. It made him feel like he didn’t measure up. How could she say she loved him if she wasn’t willing to let go of something that clearly bothered him?

Was he enough for her?

That thought struck him harder than he wanted to admit. He might not have spent his whole life shying away from being in a relationship so he could avoid this heartache, but that was definitely a perk in doing so.

The sound of jingle bells drew him from his wandering mind, and he climbed out of bed to look out the window.

Below, a large sleigh was being loaded into a trailer. One week before Christmas apparently meant the town was ramping up for the big day. The cowboys resembled little ants bustling around the sleigh to make sure it was secure. Rob probably should be helping them, but he’d been too sluggish to get out of bed early.

He grimaced. Brent was out there. He’d notice one of his employees wasn’t pulling his weight. Maybe this would be enough to get him fired, and then where would he be? He couldn’t exactly go back home with his tail between his legs—not after he’d made such a big deal to his father about getting out on his own.

Losing his job right before the holidays wouldn’t go over well, either. Why couldn’t he seem to get a grasp on running his own life? Coming to Sweet Bloom was supposed to do that for him.

The trailer pulled away, leaving Brent and two other men in its wake. Brent motioned to the men to get started on the work for the day and turned toward the wrangler’s cabin. His eyes lifted to Rob’s window.

Stiffening, Rob couldn’t bring himself to look away. He couldn’t tell if Brent saw him or if he was lucky enough to be shrouded by the reflection of the glass. If Brent had noticed him, he didn’t indicate it. All he did was take his hat off briefly to run a hand through his hair before walking toward the barn with the others.

Rob glanced at the digital alarm clock on the side of his bed. Normally he was already out with the others, but technically his shift wouldn’t start for another ten minutes. He moved away from the window and got ready. It took him all of five minutes to gather his things and head out to work.

Shoving his hand into his glove, he squinted at the barn where he knew he’d find Brent and the others. Today, they were moving a herd to another pasture. He’d be on a horse all day close to Pippa’s brother.

It was unclear how much Brent knew about his little sister’s relationship with the new hire. He probably had connected the dots that something was going on. He might assume Rob meant something more to Pippa.

And Brent was married to Jackie, a member of what he sometimes thought of as the threesome. Allie and Jackie were Pippa”s sisters-in-law and they all three been friends for a long time. There”s no way Jackie kept everything from Brent.

So would he have heard about the breakup?

Inwardly, Rob grimaced. He didn’t want to explain to Pippa’s big brother why he wasn’t on his A-game. And he definitely didn’t want to admit that he’d upset her.

Pulling on his leather work gloves, he entered the barn. Maybe if he kept his head down and didn’t draw attention to himself, he could complete today’s work without being confronted by his boss.

“Rob, there you are. I was wondering if you were going to show today.”

Dang it!

Rob turned to Brent as the man approached. He offered a wide smile. “I’m sorry. I didn’t sleep well last night and couldn’t drag myself out of bed this morning.”

“Your shift started thirty minutes ago.” Brent kept his cards close to his chest, not showing a hint of what he might be thinking.

Confusion jolted Rob. He straightened, tempted to argue his case. His job was to be out here at six-thirty. Why would he need to be here early?

Wait—on cattle herding days, work started earlier than usual. Great. He’d already lost the chance to fly under the radar the second he had forgotten about the earlier shift.

“I’m sorry, sir. It slipped my mind.”

Brent tilted his head as he continued to scrutinize Rob. “You said you weren’t sleeping well. Are you coming down with something?”

“No, sir.”

His boss kept looking at him. Before he could say anything more, the men who’d been saddling their horses came forward. “We’re ready, boss.”

Rob released an exhale of relief. If they were on horses and working in the pastures, then Brent wouldn’t have a chance to grill him on what was really going on. The ironic thing was that at any other job, his boss wouldn’t have bothered. But they’d grown up together in summers past. They had a different kind of connection.

It was starting to look like he shouldn’t have come to work for the Duncan family out in Texas after all.

Over the next few hours, they worked at herding the cattle to new grounds. The handful of men, along with a couple of dogs, worked as one machine gathering all the stragglers and getting the cattle to a place where they’d have more space to graze.

The whole time, Rob continued to think about Pippa, fluctuating between wanting to apologize for his own idiocy and his desire to get back into her good graces. He wasn’t fool enough to go to her and tell her that he wanted something serious when she wasn’t ready to accept him for who he was, but he wanted to bridge the gap between what they’d been to what he wanted to become.

“Okay, I know this might be out of my jurisdiction, but something is obviously bothering you, and after Christmas, we have some more intensive things to do. I can’t have your head be somewhere else.”

Brent’s voice shook Rob out of his thoughts, and he glanced over his shoulder at his boss.

Their horses plodded along behind the cattle they were working with. Rob couldn’t make the excuse that he couldn’t hear Brent and as much as he didn’t want his boss to know what was going on between himself and the man’s sister, it was what Brent said next that pushed him over the edge.

“Is it about Pippa?”

Rob shot a sharp look at his boss. “Did she say something to you?”

Brent chuckled. “No, but Jackie might have mentioned something about the two of you getting close. Don’t get me wrong, I have zero interest in playing matchmaker for my sister. That being said, I know she can be… difficult.”

Rob snorted.

“I take it that I’m heading in the right direction.”

Rob’s eyes cut to the man again. “It’s not really that big of a deal.”

“If you’re losing sleep over it, then I’d say it’s a big enough deal that you should talk about it. You can talk to me… or find someone else to confide in. It’s no skin off my nose. But you really ought to get through this—and soon because I’m going to need your help in a few weeks to get the cattle their vaccinations.”

At least he wasn’t going to get fired. Brent wasn’t so upset that he wanted to make an example out of him. Rob stared straight ahead, all his frustration rising to the surface.

“Why do women think they know everything?”

Brent let out a boisterous laugh. “What?”

“You can’t tell me that Jackie doesn’t butt in when she has no business doing so. She’s probably got opinions that don’t align with yours.”

He laughed again. “Okay, sure. Is that what this is about? You two got close and Pippa overstepped?”

The way he described it made it sound like Rob was being ridiculous. And maybe he was.

Brent continued. “But that’s it, right? God created man and woman to be a partnership. We complete one another, but her brain works differently than mine. If she can see a solution to a problem that I’m too stubborn to accept, then I want to hear it.” He chuckled again. “Granted, I might not want to hear it in the moment, but at the right time, I can accept that she was right, and she made my life easier because she was stubborn.”

Rob couldn’t help but compare what Brent said about his wife to what Pippa had said. If he looked deeper inside himself, he’d have to admit that there was something missing. Even when he was committed to Pippa and on the verge of asking her to marry him, he could feel that hollow space begging to be filled.

He’d gotten the job. He’d gotten the girl. And yet he still needed more.

Was she right? His unwillingness to consider what she was offering might be all that kept him from feeling like he’d finally figured his life out. Now he felt like he’d backtracked.

Rob cleared his throat and peered at his boss again. “I suppose you could be right.”

Brent stared at him hard. “I had a feeling you and my sister were getting closer than what we saw on the surface.”

Chest tight, Rob tore his eyes away. Pippa’s father was no longer in the picture. All she had were her brothers, as her mother was usually traveling. He probably should have spoken to Brent and Luke about asking for her hand. The guilt made his stomach swirl and he forced himself to meet Brent’s discerning gaze.

“I love her,” he said.

“Then you should probably talk to her. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t matter what you’re arguing about. If you care about her that much, you need to do whatever it takes to make things right.”

Rob nodded.

“Alright, now that that’s settled, let’s finish this up. I have a few more things I have to pull from storage to send out to Santa’s Village in town before they open the gates tonight.”

That must be what the sleigh was for. “I thought it was supposed to be open all month long?”

Brent flicked the reins and moved forward at a quicker pace. “Depends on the year and who ends up available to dress up as the big man himself.” He flashed a smile and hurried past.

Brent was right. The only right thing to do was to talk to Pippa and mend what had been broken. Rob just wished the thought of having that conversation didn’t fill him with such dread.