Chapter 17
Pippa had knownRob could be cold. She’d seen it first-hand when she’d come to visit Rocky Ridge and found out he had plans with someone else. Countless times, he’d blown off some other girl so they could have time together.
A silly part of her had thought back on those days with fondness, wondering if she’d stolen a piece of his heart and all she had to do was bide her time until he finally realized how much she meant to him.
Those were childish dreams. She knew that now.
If her own epiphany wasn’t enough, the fact that Rob hadn’t spoken to her or stopped by during the last few days only confirmed that what they had was different now. She wasn’t so pessimistic to believe that they wouldn’t get back to a place of friendship. They’d had arguments before, and while they’d never been what she’d call serious, she knew in her gut that they’d come back from this, too.
She absent-mindedly wiped at the restaurant kitchen countertop while she continued to rationalize what had happened. She hadn’t done anything wrong in offering to pay his college tuition. That was generous. Who wouldn’t want a friend to offer such a gift?
Apparently, Rob wouldn’t. Then again, they hadn’t really been in that friend-zone when she’d brought it up.
No, she refused to apologize for what she was trying to do. She’d done nothing wrong.
“Chef?”
She looked up to find one of her servers hovering near the entrance of the kitchen.
“Your sisters-in-law are here to see you… do you want me to tell them you’re busy?”
Pippa shook her head adamantly. “No, send them back. It’s fine. We’ve finished cooking food for the night.”
In seconds, Allie and Jackie materialized, each holding shopping bags from town. Pippa forced a laugh she didn’t feel like giving. “What stores are open this late for you to get any last-minute shopping done?” She threw the rag over her shoulder and came around the island, arms folded. “Please tell me you didn’t camp out in the store until now.”
She attempted to get a decent look at the bags but got her answer before she caught the store name.
Allie lifted the bags. “You mean these? Oh, heavens no. We’d never do that. This was from our shopping outing before dinner. We’ve been hanging out here until you got off.”
Jackie nodded in agreement. “We thought we could stop by and see how you’re doing.”
Pippa’s brows furrowed. “I’m fine,” she drawled. “How are you?”
Jackie rolled her eyes before shooting a knowing look at Allie. “We know something’s up. You haven’t exactly been all happy and bubbly lately.”
Pippa stiffened defensively. “Well, I’m running a business during the holidays. People come in here after they go shopping or before they head out to see Santa’s Village. What do you expect? I’m going to be stressed out during the month of December.”
Allie moved forward and touched her gently. “She only means that even when things are hectic, you’re usually… peppier.”
Pippa groaned and turned away from her friends. “I don’t know what to tell you. I’m perfectly fine.”
“You sure?” Jackie hedged from behind her. “Because I’ve noticed a certain cowboy hasn’t exactly been in the best of spirits either.”
As much as she hated it, Pippa took a little pleasure from knowing Rob was dealing with his own misery. He’d been the one to blow up over this whole thing. He’d been the one to push her away. Why shouldn’t he feel a little bit of guilt over it?
Turning to face them, Pippa did her best to keep a calm face. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Come on, Pippa. We’re not blind. We know you guys have had serious conversations. But it’s clear something’s happened. What’s going on?”
Pippa’s eyes darted from Allie to Jackie and back. It wasn’t that she thought they’d judge her for the pact she’d made when she was younger, though the embarrassment of agreeing to such a thing did weigh on her. She simply didn’t want to talk about what was going on because it made it more real somehow.
And yet she couldn’t ignore that not talking about Rob only continued to get harder.
Perhaps she could give them a partial story—something to get them to leave her alone and also to work through what she was dealing with.
She heaved a sigh and leaned against the countertop. “It’s not a big deal.”
“If it’s not a big deal, then you can talk to us.” Allie moved forward. “You know you can always talk to me.”
That last bit was said a little quieter. Within those words, the weight of everything Pippa was dealing with seemed to get worse.
She wanted to cry. She wanted to scream and vent about how she’d been childish enough to let herself get swept up in a silly fantasy she’d had since she was a teenager. She’d told herself even then she couldn’t let that happen.
But just like now, she’d been na?ve back then. Her heart was breaking. She’d had failed relationships before, but this one was harder than any of them.
Her gaze drifted to Allie again. “I feel like such an idiot.”
Both of her sisters-in-law converged on her.
“What’s the matter?”
“Are you okay?”
“Is it Rob?”
So many questions were torpedoed at her to the point it crumbled her reserves and brought down her defenses. She released a watery laugh. “It’s so ridiculous. I should have never agreed to it.”
They were confused, and why wouldn’t they be? People connected with each other and chose to love them—to be with them when everything else didn’t make sense.
But being with Rob had made sense. At least, it had made sense to her.
Pippa brushed at her tears and laughed again. “You’re going to think?—”
“It doesn’t matter what we think,” Allie pressed. “What matters is you have someone you can talk to.”
Jackie nodded vigorously. “What are sisters for if not to listen and build you up when you’re feeling down?”
“You wouldn’t be thinking that if you knew…”
Allie laughed. “Just tell us what’s going on and we’ll be the ones to decide.”
Pippa groaned. “Fine. You’ve worn me down, I can’t believe I’m going to tell you this. Remember when I told you about how Rob and I had a fling?”
Jackie and Allie glanced at each other but their expressions didn’t change even when they brought their eyes back to Pippa.
“Well, that’s not the whole truth.” Pippa flushed deeply. There was a reason she hadn’t told her friends this story. Allie was right. Pippa always had a plan. She had prepared for her future from the time she was little. The end goal had always been her restaurant and starting a family.
Life hadn’t turned out the way she’d expected it to, and she only had herself to blame.
She sighed again but it did nothing to ease the tension in her chest. “The truth is that my thing with Rob didn’t happen just once when we were younger. It happened every time I visited him in Rocky Ridge.”
“Hmm. That’s really interesting,” Allie said with glee only to immediately return her expression to that of a concerned friend.
“It was never serious.” Pippa shook her head. This was where it was going to get harder. “It wasn’t serious because he lived states away. He wasn’t going to come here and I wasn’t going to go there. We were never going to get a chance to have that sort of life… and not only because of the distance.”
By now, her face felt as hot as one of her skillets fresh from the stove. She closed her eyes, but she knew she’d never be able to hide from the truth of what she’d let herself get swept into.
“I—we made a pact. We promised that whenever I was in town, we’d spend time together… romantically.”
“That doesn’t sound so bad,” Jackie offered. “You guys were close. We all know it.”
“It wasn’t bad. We had every advantage of dating when we were in the same town, but the second I came back home, it was like it never happened.” Pippa shrugged and looked away.
Allie narrowed her eyes. “Every advantage? Um, you didn’t…”
“No! Not that advantage!” Pippa’s eyes widened as she shook her head. Looking away she took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I can’t believe I agreed to it. Saying it out loud makes me feel like such a complete idiot. I should have never let him convince me?—”
A hand landed on her forearm and Pippa’s eyes flew open to see Allie’s understanding expression. “You’re being too hard on yourself. You had fun together. That’s what friendship and romance is all about.”
“Yeah, I fell for a guy who wasn’t available emotionally or physically.” Pippa let out a sad-sounding snort. “He literally couldn’t have been less available. And here I was thinking one day I’d be enough for him. That one day, I’d be the girl he never realized was under his nose this whole time.”
Allie squeezed her arm gently. “If it’s any help, I feel like I’ve seen evidence of that.”
“Evidence of what?” Pippa laughed. “Evidence he wants more? He’s really good at faking it. I swear to you, he wants nothing to do with me. Especially not now?—”
She cut herself off and her eyes widened a little more. Why couldn’t she keep this all to herself? Why did she feel the need to make things worse with each sentence that came tumbling from her lips?
“What could you have possibly done that”s so bad? I doubt it’s as terrible as you’re making it out to be.”
“Oh, it is.” Pippa dragged both hands down her face. “When someone asks you to drop something, you drop it. You don’t keep pushing even if you disagree.”
Jackie made a face. “Ehh… I don’t think I agree with that one hundred percent. Sometimes, the guys we love need to hear how we feel. It’s good for them to get a different perspective. And I’m not only saying that because they’d be lost without us.” She tossed Allie a knowing smile. “I’m saying that because we were created differently in every way that counts. We complement each other, and for good reason.”
Allie nodded.
Pippa stared at them both with skepticism. “I don’t know.”
“It’s true. Sometimes they need to get their heads on straight. Sometimes they need something to help them see that they’re right.” Allie leaned her hip against the counter and grinned at Pippa.
“You guys, come on.” Pippa whined.
Allie gave one more sharp nod. “So, this is my advice. Whatever is holding you back, you need to push it aside. Rob probably doesn’t know what he wants, not fully. Show him what he’d be missing out on. Tell him how you feel. Chase him a little bit. Do whatever it takes to win him back.”
“I don’t know if I can do that,” Pippa said quietly.
“We’re going to Santa’s Village on Christmas Eve next week. There’s your chance to invite him and see what he says. Sometimes we’re too close to the situation to see clearly.” Allie moved closer and pulled her friend into a hug. “But obviously you can ignore everything I’ve said. You know your heart. And though you say you’re fine and it’s nothing, I can tell someone needs to take my advice even if they’re doing it to prove me wrong.”
Pippa couldn’t help herself. She let out a laugh and shook her head. “You’re incorrigible. Both of you are.” And she wouldn’t have it any other way.