Chapter 12
Gwen moved slowly, her heart pounding as she led Sirus to the edge of the bed. She wasn’t even entirely sure how she’d conjured that ball of light, only that she’d wanted to see him, and her magick had bubbled up in answer.
She hadn’t expected him to look so torn. Tormented. The worry in his eyes…not for himself but for her. It wasn’t until that moment that Gwen felt like she was beginning to truly understand him. The life he’d lived. The loneliness and rejection.
I do not trust myself, Gwendolyn.
The words had pierced her heart. She trusted him. So much. But he couldn’t understand. Couldn’t feel what she felt.
She stopped and turned to him when she felt the bedcovers brush against her thighs. She wanted him. Her body ached to be near him. But she wanted more than passion and hunger. Gwen felt his trepidation and knew she needed to take this slow.
Cast in the darkness, she breathed him in deep. The spice and tree that she’d known since the beginning. She ran her hands up his arms, his shoulders, until they fell to his neck. He tensed under her touch. She wanted to take the tension away.
Slowly, she touched him. Down the front of his shirt, along the grooves of his muscled chest. She teased at the shirt’s hem. “I want to touch you,” she whispered.
The movement was quick as he pulled the fabric off, leaving her room to explore. Her fingers traced over his stomach. Over lines and indents she knew were countless scars, some long healed. Some new. They stood like that for what felt like hours. Gwen relished his soft breaths and growls as she charted every inch of him.
“I want to see you,” she told him.
Without a word, he moved away from her. She heard his steps and movements near the hearth. Soon, a soft orange glow filled the space, growing as the fire took hold.
He stood for a moment, looking down into the flames. When he looked up, her chest tightened. He was so beautiful. The swirls of tattoos consumed almost all of him, broken only by those countless scars she’d felt beneath her fingers. His expression was softer than she’d ever seen it before. Almost as if he were lost. Lost to her.
“Come here,” she beckoned him.
His jaw tensed as he stood watching her. He didn’t move. Not immediately. Eventually he stepped slowly, as if waiting for her to change her mind.
When he was standing in front of her again, she lifted her hands to his chest. He closed his eyes, as if lost in the pleasure of her touch. It made her feel heady and powerful. She ran a finger over the scar of a wound that must have nearly struck his heart. He took in a breath. Gwen touched another scar near his collarbone, this one small but clearly deep. A low rumble filled his chest. When she neared the freshest mark, at his stomach, he took in a sharp breath and looked down. There was a warning in his eyes. An unease.
“I’ll be gentle,” she told him.
One of her fingers caressed the edge. Then another. He closed his eyes again and let out a sigh that was so overwhelming it nearly brought a tear to her eyes. As she took in the marks over his body, sadness began to creep over her. It became real. Knowing how much pain he must have suffered. Over and over.
He brushed her hair behind her ear, and her eyes shot up to his. “Do not feel sorrow for me,” he told her.
She let out a stuttered breath. This was who he was. A vampire by choice, marked by the way of life he’d been reborn into. A warrior.
Gwen filled the space between them, only a thin bit of fabric separating her skin from his. Sirus cupped her backside to pull her closer, but she didn’t lean up to kiss his lips. She kissed his chest, where one of his deeper scars lay.
“I want to taste you,” she whispered against his skin. He tensed beneath her, his fingers digging deeper. The moment her tongue traced the place where her breath had just touched, he rasped a groan. Gwen repeated her caress over the scar at his collarbone.
The shadows clawed around them, cutting out the dim firelight. “Gwendolyn,” he growled. A warning. A plea. It only encouraged her onward.
She pressed soft kisses against the remnants of carnage imprinted over him. Soon her mouth found his nipple. Gwen felt bold. He made her feel bold. She flicked her tongue over it, and he hissed. The sound sent her core throbbing. She did it again. His fingers dug deeper into her ass, and he breathed harshly.
Gwen felt his desire growing, but she wasn’t done with him yet. She wrapped her hands around his middle, dug her nails into his back, and nipped delicately at his sensitive flesh.
“Fuck,” he bit out. “If you don’t stop?—”
Her eyes flashed up to meet his. She nipped again, challenging him.
Sirus growled low as he stared down at her, those piercing, frost-blue eyes clouded with desire. He pulled her frame harder against him so that she could feel his length against her belly. It sent a shockwave rioting through her sex. Then all she felt was hunger.
If she could only see herself the way he saw her. A creature of power and strength. At that moment, she could have asked anything of him, and he would have gladly given it. Anything.
Her eyes lingered over his body, over the marks of protection that covered him, the endless scars of countless battles. He’d let her take it in. The scar from a fae blade that had nearly struck his heart. The deeper one near his collarbone, a lesson taught in blood. With each touch, a piece of him opened to her. As if the old wounds were locks only she possessed the keys for. Hers was the most delicate touch he’d ever known. And now she teased him like a vixen. Challenging him.
He saw the hunger in her eyes when he pulled her against him so she could feel just how much he desired her. Sirus didn’t want to be rough, but he was beyond gentleness. He gathered her into his arms. Their kiss sent a shock of lightning coursing through his blood.
Gwendolyn wrapped her arms around his neck and tangled her fingers into his hair, pulling him closer, matching his hunger with her own. The rawness of her passion was intoxicating. The small sound of pleasure she made was like music. He immediately craved to hear it again.
Sirus broke away from her lips to feather kisses along her jaw. Her breath was short and ragged with need. He traced his tongue down the column of her neck, along that line of freckles he loved so much. She gasped, then whimpered.
In the garden, Sirus had wanted more. So much more. But this—this was beyond simple desire. He could sense her arousal. Could feel it through his skin. Never had a woman responded to him in this way. Lust and need, he’d known and understood. But never this kind of passion. Never trust.
He lifted his lips from her neck just enough to say, “If you wish me to stop, tell me.”
“Don’t stop,” Gwendolyn said through panted breath. “Please.”
Raw desire surged through him at hearing her plea, and a low growl vibrated within his chest. Her head fell back, and Sirus traced her collarbone with his tongue. “I want you, Gwendolyn,” he confessed. It was the most honest thing he’d ever said in his long life. “I want all of you.”
A desire he’d long held back. Too afraid to think, let alone say.
“Yes.”
A surge of excitement joined the fire pulsing through his blood. In one quick motion, he grabbed the backs of her thighs and lifted her. Gwendolyn coiled her legs around him. His desire to bury himself in her nearly overwhelmed him, but he would savor this. Cherish it. Every last kiss, caress, and touch.
He lowered her back onto the blankets and nipped at the soft flesh of her neck. The peaks of her breasts teased through the thin black cotton bra she wore. He might have said something about her beauty if he’d been able to form words. Instead, Sirus leaned in and nibbled at the milky skin above her right breast. Gwendolyn groaned, dark and luscious, in response. The sounds of her pleasure echoed through the room, through his bones.
Her silken skin was hot against his tongue. She arched her back toward him, beckoning him further. He traced his tongue around the edge of the thin black fabric of her bra.
“Sirus…” she gasped, digging her fingers further into his hair.
He hooked a finger around the bra and yanked it down. His mouth watered. He languished over the sensitive, peaked mound of one of her breasts with his tongue, teasing at it until she was panting so hard he could not bear it any longer. Sirus took her breast into his mouth. Gwendolyn threw her head back with a harsh cry of ecstasy and tightened her thighs around his waist so hard he ached.
He wanted more.
Sirus rasped a curse against her skin as he ravished her with his mouth. He became drunk off her soft moans and sharp, panting breaths.
Gwendolyn was a vision. Her soft, flushed skin and her chestnut hair that cascaded around her shoulders. He took her mouth in a deep kiss, and she matched each stroke of his tongue until he could take no more.
Sirus tore away and licked at the edge of her breast. She gasped a deep moan, arching her back into him. His hand ran down her body until it reached the hem of her skirt, and he slid it back up her thigh until it reached the groomed patch of hair at her sex. She was so wet, he nearly groaned himself.
She latched onto his arm, her breaths hot and fast. “Yes,” she panted.
Gently, he slid his finger against her and groaned over her nipple at her response. He slid another finger over her slick sex, and Gwendolyn moaned, rocking her hips against his touch, hunting for more. He was powerless to deny her.
Sirus pressed harder, stroking her again. She gasped, digging her nails into his shoulders. He relished the pain.
She looked down to find him staring up at her, his mouth still hovering over her nipple. “Sirus,” she exhaled, running her hand down his arm more gently.
He’d planned to draw it out, but he hungered for her cries. Sirus plunged one finger into her. He groaned as he watched Gwendolyn bite her lips together to stifle the scream that threatened to pour out of her. He wanted that scream.
Sirus swore as he took her breast back into his mouth and slid his finger inside her again. It only took three deep strokes before she was panting so wildly he knew she must be close. She writhed in time with his motions, desperate for more.
He pushed her higher and higher with each stroke. Her nails dug deeper into his arm. The moment he sensed she was right at the edge, Sirus plunged two fingers deep inside her. In two strokes, Gwendolyn found her ecstasy. Her cries nearly drove him to spill in his pants.
Sirus continued to caress her, drawing out her pleasure as she convulsed around him. Once she lay sated and limp, he lifted himself to place soft kisses up her glistening body. When he caressed her lips, her eyes fluttered open.
“You are beautiful,” he told her. He kissed her gently, but she deepened their embrace, wrapping her arms around his neck to pull him closer. Gwendolyn arched her hips, yanked her skirt down until it fell off the edge of the bed, then tore off her bra and sent it flying somewhere into the room. When she fingered at the button of his pants, Sirus growled at her impatience. He kicked off his boots, then reached down with one hand and slid his pants off his hips.
Her eyes were heavy with pleasure when she glanced down to find his hard tip hovering just above her thighs. She bit her lips together again, and he groaned.
Gwendolyn was a vision as she lay bare to him.
He leaned onto his arm and gently ran his fingers inside her thigh, teasing over her sensitive sex. She gasped, grasping the sheets. He kissed the freckles along her neck and savored the salty taste of her skin.
“Tell me what you want, Gwendolyn,” he whispered darkly into her ear. “I am yours.”