Chapter 3 #2
The quiet grew awkward and he forced himself to just stare at the fire and not focus on how Jess wasn’t saying a damn word.
Not one.
Looking over at her would be super obvious, but…
“You could at least lie and say I didn’t make a fool out of myself or that you’re not thankful we broke up,” he blurted out. “I get that you’re still angry at me, but it would have been nice if you…”
“I’ve never been thankful that we broke up,” she said quietly, causing Ryan to instantly shut his mouth.
Glancing at her, he saw she was the one staring at the fire.
“In a million years, I never thought you would break up with me,” she went on.
“I thought we were a team—you were going to start your business and I was going to write my book while I worked doing the digital marketing manager thing. Then one day you just drop this…this…bombshell on me and turned my entire world upside down.” Pausing, she shook her head.
“Everything I thought I knew about myself and my life…was shattered.”
Silently cursing himself, he put his own mug down and twisted to face her. “I know I’ve apologized, but…”
“It didn’t matter. It still doesn’t,” she said sadly.
“The damage is done. And honestly, I don’t want to keep looking back or rehashing things.
I mean…what good does it do? It just makes me feel bad all over again.
” Now she looked at him. “And I am so tired of feeling bad. This trip was about getting my writing mojo back while house sitting in the mountains. That’s what I really want to focus on. ”
“Oh.” He wasn’t even sure what he was supposed to say to that except… “And I ruined that too.”
Another soft laugh. “You’re like a little black rain cloud that follows me around.”
Not the greatest analogy, he thought, but certainly not the worst either.
Then she surprised him by leaning close and playfully nudging his shoulder with hers. There wasn’t anything remotely sexual about it and yet Ryan swore he felt it like an electric charge. It had always been like this with Jess—one look, one touch, and he wanted her.
She turned her head and met his gaze and it felt like everything around them just…
stopped. Her big blue eyes went a little wide.
Ryan knew he should look away, but he couldn’t.
He’d been desperate to have an opportunity like this—just some time to be alone with her to make things right.
Part of him wanted to beg her right now to forgive him, but he didn’t want to push. Besides, the moment wasn’t right.
Or…was it?
“Jess, I…”
“Don’t,” she said with a small moan. They had somehow gravitated closer to one another and as she rested her forehead against his, he heard her sigh.
“It’s been a wild morning, and I don’t want either of us to say something just for the sake of saying it.
” Slowly, she pulled back and straightened before reaching for her coffee.
“You need to rest and I’m going to go back over to my little area and hopefully write. ”
“I know you hate writing in bed,” he blurted out, because he definitely remembered how she always used to say it when they were dating.
“You’ve got a great view of the snow and the mountains out the windows right here and a roaring fire.
It’s the perfect setting for working on your book.
” He got to his feet and stretched. “You take the couch for a little while and I’ll find something to do. ”
“Ryan…”
Scooping up the pile of blankets, he placed them on a chair on the other side of the room. “I’ll fold them up later, so don’t even think about doing it yourself or adding them to your wall. Write.”
“I can’t just write on demand…”
“Jess?”
“Hmm?”
“No excuses. Work on your book.”
Rolling her eyes, she stood. “You’re being overly dramatic. I don’t have to write right now. Before you fell, I was about to make my lunch.”
He knew right away she was lying.
“Fine, I was just going to finish a scene and then I was going to make lunch. It’s not like I had that much more to go…”
“Then don’t let me stop you.” Turning, he was about to walk away when she came up behind him and wrapped her arms around him. Stunned, he didn’t move, didn’t speak.
“I’m glad you’re okay,” she softly said before letting him go. Grabbing her laptop, she walked over to the sofa. “We’ll make lunch as soon as I’m done.”
That one little move—those few brief words—gave him more hope than he’d had in months. Maybe falling on his ass wasn’t the worst thing to happen. He was feeling pretty good when…
“Where did you get this pillow from?”
Uh-oh…
“Um…”
“And…this one?”
Raking a hand through his hair, he gave her a lopsided grin. “Okay, so…funny story…”
“Have you been taking these from my privacy wall?”
“You mean your fortress of solitude? Yes!”
Jumping to her feet, hands on her hips, she glared at him. “Why? It wasn’t hurting anyone!”
“It was hurting me! You know, not that long ago, we were in love! And now you put up a freaking blanket fort so you don’t have to look at my face? You don’t think that’s wrong?”
“Did you think it was wrong to use me as an excuse for why you couldn’t commit to taking the leap and starting your business?”
Okay…so they were finally going to have that conversation.