A Laird and a Healer (Rebel Highland Brides #2)

Chapter 14

T ara was resting in her room, transcribing her notes to her real journal. As she did so, she relieved the memories she had made in the Abernathy Clan. The journal captured her changing feelings as she went from fearing Gordon to loving him. It was a remarkable shift, and a smiled adorned her face as she thought about him.

She had not been away from him long, yet already missed him and longed to be in his company again. Although she had promised to return to Gordon, she had been a little worried that returning home would tug at her heart and the comfort of it would make her want to remain.

However, while she had felt completely at ease at home before, now it seemed as though there was something missing, and that something was Gordon. She was interrupted from this by a maid that came knocking, informing her that Nessa had returned and requested Tara’s presence. Tara was thrilled to be reunited with her other sister.

She skipped into the room and was ready with outstretched arms. Nessa somehow looked even fiercer than before. Her dark swathes of hair were pulled back into a tight braid, accentuating her angular cheekbones and strong jaw. Her eyes were sunken behind shadows, and she wore simple leather armor.

Her bow was resting next to a chair beside her, along with a quiver of arrows. Her boots were flecked with mud. Nessa had been striding around the territory in search of Ken. It must have taken a toll on her mood. Caroline was sitting in a chair, peering into the distance.

“Nessa! I’m sae glad tae see ye again,” Tara exclaimed as she threw her arms around Nessa. Their cheeks brushed against each other, but Tara did not feel Nessa’s arms tightening around her. In fact, Nessa barely moved at all, and not a trace of emotion was visible in her eyes.

“Where’s Allan?”

“He’s with Ryan. I thought it best that we speak taegather, as sisters,” Nessa replied, her voice haggard. “Where hae ye been?”

The words were cold, and spoken almost as an accusation. Tara retreated to a nearby chair and placed her hands in her lap, glancing towards Caroline.

“Hae Caroline nae told ye?”

“Aye, she said ye were waylaid by someone who needed healing. But I want tae know exactly what happened. Why would ye leave without telling us?”

Tara was taken aback by her tone. Nessa had always been the aggressive one, and some things never changed. Tara cleared her throat and retained her posture, keeping her shoulders back and her head upright.

“I was told it was a matter of urgency, and tarrying could be the difference between a man living and dying.”

“But it was nae that man ye treated, was it?”

Tara shook her head.

“What happened? Tell me everything.” Nessa leaned forward.

“Well, ah, the Laird found me, and he took me back tae his Keep. His son was ill, ye see, and?—”

“This Laird, did he harass ye?”

“What?”

“Did he ask ye tae help, or did he demand it? Tell me the truth, Tara.”

Nessa jabbed a finger in the air. Tara bowed her head.

“He dinnae ask exactly… He found me on the way, and he dinnae waste any time. He took me back tae his Keep and then told me about his son. I decided tae heal the boy.”

Nessa narrowed her eyes. “Sae he abducted ye. It was the Abernathy Laird, wasnae it? They are known for their savage ways. Is this the latest fashion in the Highlands? Hae everyone suddenly decided tae abduct helpless people?”

“I am nae helpless!” Tara cried out, but was silenced by a withering glance. Caroline was still silent.

“Tara, this is serious. This is a hostile act. If he wants war, then we will give it tae him!”

“He dinnae want war,” Tara paled at the thought. “He was just worried about his son. None of his healers could find a remedy. He hae lost his wife, and he feared that his son was gaeing tae join her in the next world. He was just scared, that’s all.”

“Abernathy men like him dinnae get scared,” Nessa sneered.

Tara was beginning to take personal offence. Nessa was her sister, yes, but that didn’t give her the right to besmirch the character of the man Tara loved.

“What dae ye know of Abernathy men?”

A wry smile spread across Nessa’s face, and she tilted her head back to look down her nose at Tara. “I know more than ye dae. Ye hae always been a wee bit sheltered, Tara. Ye were abducted and forced tae dae his bidding.”

“I was nae forced.”

“Could ye hae left?”

Tara paused, and that was all Nessa needed. “See? Ye were a prisoner.” She began to pace back and forth. “There are enemies on all sides. I knew that this peace could nae last. We need tae take measures tae protect ourselves. Tara, ye should hae a guard with ye at all times.”

“I am nae gaeing tae be shadowed!”

“If Allan needs it, sae dae ye. And ye cannae be allowed tae leave the Keep again. It’s tae dangerous. Ken is gaeing tae prey on the weakest of us and if he sees ye out in the world alone he will show nae hesitation in taking ye. He wants tae ruin our family.”

“He dinnae see me as I returned.”

“Ye rode alone?” Nessa’s tone was flat.

Tara lifted her head, jutting out her chin as she thought Nessa would be proud of her for this.

“Aye, I did. I managed tae get all the way from the Abernathy territory tae here, and naebody caused me any trouble.”

Nessa lowered her head and pinched the bridge of her nose. “He let ye ride alone? This man whose son ye saved was sae grateful that he allowed ye tae ride intae danger?”

Tara’s head dropped. That wasn’t what she meant at all. “Nae, it’s nae like that. He hae tae stay with his son. His guards escorted me tae the edge of his territory, and I told him that I dinnae need anyone tae ride with me. Despite what ye think, I am nae helpless.”

The expression on Nessa’s face was clearly disbelieving, but Tara wasn’t finished speaking yet.

“And I will nae hae a guard following me around everywhere. How am I supposed tae get anything done? What if I am called on tae heal someone? The sight of a guard looming over them is hardly gaeing tae put them at ease.”

“Ye are just gaeing tae hae tae stop healing for a while. There are plenty of other apprentices that can dae the work. Ye should stay in the Keep for the time being. It’s the safest place for all of us.”

“And I’m sure ye will be heeding that advice tae then?” Tara challenged, and glanced over at Caroline, wishing that her eldest sister intervened.

Caroline was usually the one who got in between Nessa and Tara when things got heated, bringing a sense of reason to proceedings. But this time she seemed lost in another world.

“I can defend us. When ye learn tae wield a bow as well as me, then ye can leave. Why are ye nae taking this seriously, Tara? Our lives are at stake.”

“Aye, I know, but my life is healing. Ye cannae expect me tae stand by while ye strip me of everything that matters. What am I supposed tae dae with myself? I know ye would nae be content if someone took yer bow away.”

“It’s nae forever, only until the danger hae passed,” Nessa spoke through gritted teeth, clearly rankled by Tara’s words.

“And when is that gaeing tae be? Ken hae been free for two years. What if he disappears again? Are we supposed tae wait indefinitely?”

“It will nae take that long.”

“I cannae stay anyway. I promised Laird Abernathy that I would return as soon as possible tae oversee the treatment of his child.”

Nessa stared at her and looked betrayed. “Ye did what?” she gasped.

Tara wore a stern look on her face, and made a gesture as if to say, “you heard me”.

Nessa inhaled deeply. “That is out of the question. Dae ye hae any idea what the Abernathy Clan is?”

“Aye, they are a noble people. They keep themselves isolated, away from others. There is nae danger there, Nessa, I promise. If it means that much tae ye, then I will welcome an escort tae their borders. Gordon will nae let anything happen tae me.”

Tara’s emotions got the better of her. Her voice hitched when she mentioned Gordon’s name, and it was quite plain that Gordon meant more to her than only being someone she had helped.

“Gordon? Ye call him by his first name now?”

“I saved his son. It seemed natural tae call him by his given name.”

“And what else did ye dae while in his presence? Did ye feast and dance with him?” Nessa was joking, but Tara had never been a deceitful person, and her expression gave everything away.

Nessa’s mouth dropped open, and she staggered back as if she had been struck. “Tara, hae ye completely lost yer mind? Our clan is under attack. We hae powerful enemies lurking in the shadows. Threats hae been made on our lives, and ye are out there consorting with the enemy.”

“He is nae the enemy!” Tara was so frustrated that the words came out in a high-pitched shriek.

Nessa scowled. “The Abernathy Clan hae ties with our uncle. He brokered a trade agreement. We dinnae know what kind of promises were made. It’s possible that uncle Gorram could call on Abernathy forces tae add tae his army. Maybe that’s the real reason ye were taken in the first place. Was his son even sick? What did he ask ye? Did ye tell him about our defenses, our numbers? What did he ask?”

The questions came thick and fast, Nessa’s voice growing in intensity. She paced towards Tara as well, until Nessa clamped her hands around the arms of Tara’s chair, making it seem as though she was being held against her will. It was too much for Tara to take. She rose, flinging her arms out to push Nessa aside, striding into the middle of the room.

“I dinnae tell him anything like that! And he never asked. It’s nae what ye think, Nessa. Ye are seeing shadows everywhere. Gordon is a good man, and his son was most definitely sick. This is a wee boy ye are talking about.”

“Aye, but the only boy I’m concerned about is my nephew, which is who ye should be thinking about as well. Ye could hae put us all in danger, including him.”

Tara recoiled and put her hand to her throat. “I would never dae that,” she said in a small voice.

“Maybe not intentionally, but these men know how tae twist a woman’s mind, especially one like ye. I love ye, Tara, but ye dinnae know the ways of the world like Caroline and me. Ye are tae trusting, and ye believe that everyone can be saved. I’m sorry tae tell ye, but that is nae true.”

“It is,” Tara insisted, her words more like a sob now. “Gordon is a good man and Keith is a wonderful boy. I gave them my word that I would return. Would ye make a liar out of me?”

“I am trying tae keep ye safe. Cannae ye see that it’s madness tae gae off by yerself again when our uncle and cousin are out there, plotting goodness knows what. And that’s nae tae mention his allies. What if he seeks refuge in the Abernathy Clan? Ye could return only tae find Gorram and Ken sitting at the dining table waiting for ye.”

“Ye hae this all wrong. Gordon would never dae that.”

“How can I know what he will dae? The Abernathy clan has always been a mystery tae the rest of us. We cannae be sure of their intentions sae we cannae know what he will or will nae dae. And I am nae willing tae trust him with yer life.”

“But I am. Is that nae important? I know him. I heard him weep over his son. I received his gratitude. I danced with him. I think I know what he is capable of, and he would nae dae anything that would hurt me.”

“It almost sounds as though ye are in love with him,” Nessa scoffed.

Again, Tara’s silence belied her emotions. Nessa choked a laugh.

“I dinnae believe this. Are ye a fool through and through?”

“It’s nae foolish tae fool in love.”

“It is when a man cannae love ye back. He is the laird of a clan that keeps themselves away from others. Why would he marry outside his clan? Why would he marry anyone unless it would give him some kind of advantage? Look at things logically, Tara; this hae the makings of a plan. He takes ye intae his Keep, wins ye over, and then gets ye tae feel like this. He could hae been put up tae this by Ken. The three of them could be laughing in that Keep right now, talking about what a fool ye are.”

“Dinnae dae that, Nessa. Dinnae disregard my feelings. Ye were nae there. Ye dinnae know him. Ye cannae claim tae know everything. Ye are just making up stories.”

“It’s my job tae try to imagine what our enemies are thinking about. That’s how I protect our family. When Ryan finds out about this…” Nessa trailed away, shaking her head.

Tara choked up and blinked away tears. She didn’t want to believe anything Nessa was saying, but this was her sister. Could she really be so cruel under the guise of protecting Tara? And surely, she wouldn’t lie about the Abernathy Clan having ties with her uncle before. Gordon hadn’t mentioned any of that. Was it possible that he was keeping things from her?

She tried to think back to their conversations. Had he asked her about the secrets of her clan? She couldn’t remember. She couldn’t think. It was all so hazy and confusing, and Nessa was only making things more complicated. How Tara wished for Gordon to be there with her, to stand beside her and refute all these claims; to put his arm around her so that she could derive strength from him. It felt as though her mind was going to crack from all this pressure, and what if Nessa was right?

Tara didn’t want to believe it was possible, but she needed another opinion, so she turned slowly to her other sister. She walked towards Caroline.

“Caroline, what dae ye think? Am I wrong tae trust Gordon? Am I wrong tae trust my heart?” she asked, her voice becoming a low whisper.

Caroline shook herself from her trance. Sadness swam in her eyes. Her skin was paler than usual. Her gaze flicked between Nessa and Caroline.

“I think perhaps it would be best if ye remained with us for the time being. There is nae sense in tempting fate,” she said softly.

Tara’s heart broke, as though it had been smashed with a hammer.

“But what about my promise?” Tara asked in a forlorn tone.

“If he feels as ye say, then he will understand, and he will wait for ye. The safest place for ye is behind these walls, Tara, with us.”

But Tara wasn’t sure she believed that any longer. She was safe enough with Gordon. He had suffered enough already, and she would rather not put him through anymore. Moreover, she didn’t want to delay happiness for herself either.

It was ironic really; she had been afraid to be kept prisoner by Gordon, but now it was her own family keeping her prisoner. Frustration boiled inside her. Tara’s hands curled into fists and tension rippled across her body, making her face flush hot crimson.

“Ye cannae keep me here against my will. This is my life. I am nae a child any longer. Ye cannae expect me tae dae everything ye ask.”

Nessa came up behind her and spoke to her in a low voice. “Aye, we can. We hae guards posted all along the border. Everyone knows who ye are, Tara. They are there tae stop people from getting in, and getting out. I am nae gaeing tae let ye make this mistake. I know ye feel strongly about this, but ye need tae trust me. Gae back tae yer healing quarters if ye must. I can at least allow ye tae dae that.”

“Oh, thank ye, Nessa. Yer generosity is beyond compare,” Tara spat, turning from her sisters and marching out of the room.

She slammed the door behind her and then pressed her back against it, breathing in deeply. Stinging tears trickled along her cheeks. The last thing she wanted was to fight with her sisters, especially about this.

She had been overjoyed to share the news of her blossoming relationship with Gordon with them, but had certainly not expected this reaction. Why couldn’t they be happy for her? After all, even if the Abernathy Clan used to trade with Gorram it didn’t necessarily make Gordon evil.

Were they blind to what had happened merely two years ago? Ryan had been a sworn enemy of the Gilmour Clan, and yet, Caroline had fallen in love with him. Both Caroline and Nessa were allowing their fear to color matters, and they were still treating Tara as though she could not make decisions by herself. They couldn’t accept that she was a grown woman. In their eyes, she was probably like Allan.

She shook her head and huffed as she returned to the healers’ quarters, determined to keep her freedom. She hadn’t given in completely to Gordon’s demands, so she wasn’t going to do the same for her sisters either.

The healers’ quarters was a small building extending from the castle. Each senior healer had their own room, although many of these were unused as healers tended to travel out in the world. They were given a stipend for the clan to pay for their lodgings if necessary, although some places were happy to provide healers with accommodation free of charge, knowing that such favors might become beneficial to them in the future if they required treatment.

The apprentices did not have such luxury, however. There was a certain rite of passage to their apprenticeships where they had to endure some hardships in order to qualify. As Elaine was fond of saying, nobody could empathize with the sick without first knowing what it was like to suffer.

As a result, the apprentices stayed in a long room containing a dozen beds. The nights were alive with the sounds of heavy breathing, snoring (although none of the apprentices, which currently were exclusively female, would confess to), and general movements of limbs rustling sheets. The days were alive with chatter and gossip, although Tara tended to be ostracized from this. Even though she had a room entirely for herself in the Keep, she did not use it while she was an apprentice. She wanted to blend it as much as possible.

When she entered the chamber, all eyes turned to her. A hush fell over the other apprentices. Tara stared at them for a moment, but then decided she couldn’t be bothered to indulge their rude ways. She turned to her bed and arranged her things. Of course, it wasn’t long before Shea approached her with Gillian in tow, and the rest of the healers were close by listening.

“The great healer hae deigned us with her presence, then? I thought ye would hae been receiving yer reward by now. After all, anyone who tends tae a laird should be due some honor. I’m sure we are all grateful that ye decided tae remain in the doldrums with us. Or is that yer accomplishment was nae as grand as ye claimed?”

“Ye are the last one tae talk tae me about lies, Shea. When are ye gaeing tae visit yer cousin, anyway?” Tara asked with a sharp glare.

Shea giggled and placed a hand on Tara’s shoulder.

“Oh, that was just a wee joke. I dinnae expect ye tae gae running off like that. But really ye should be thanking me because otherwise ye never would hae gone on such a grand adventure. How about ye tell us the story? We are all eager tae hear.”

Tara turned to inspect the others. She imagined that some of them were genuinely curious, but she always had the sense that Shea was goading her, and she wasn’t in the mood to fall prey to her games.

“Perhaps later. I just want tae rest.”

“Aye, ye were gone for a long time. Ye missed all the excitement. Does it play on yer mind?” Shea asked innocuously.

Tara stared at her, tilting her head to the side, not entirely sure what Shea was getting at. Shea spread her arms out wide and motioned to the other apprentices.

“Well, I mean, I would certainly feel guilty if I was away during my family’s darkest hour. Could ye bear it if ye were nae around tae protect yer nephew from the enemy?” the question was directed to Gillian, whose face bore a malicious grin.

“Och nae, nae at all. It would kill me,” Gillian said with a lot of satisfaction.

Shea’s eyes flickered with darkness. “I could nae bear it. I dinnae know how ye can live with yerself, Tara. Dinnae ye care about yer sisters? I thought ye were as tight as trees in a thicket. Perhaps we hae all been mistaken. But of course, if ye would rather spend time in another clan, I’m sure ye will nae be missed tae much. We can all handle things here. Yer family is in good hands.”

Shea reached out and placed a hand on Tara’s arm. Tara flinched at the touch and shrugged her arm away. She was already on the cusp of rage thanks to her argument with Nessa, and Shea’s words caused her emotions to boil over. Tara was trembling all over as she glared at these silly girls with silly smiles on their faces.

They had never liked her, and they never would. She would always be an outsider to them, and she could heal the entire country, and they would still claim that she was only around because she benefited from her sister’s marriage to the Laird.

So she cast a baleful glare in their direction and jabbed her finger in the air.

“If ye spent as much time studying as ye did gossiping, then perhaps ye would all be worth something. As it is, I pity anyone who falls ill under yer care because they may as well be dead. Ye can hae yer jokes and yer laughs, but I hae actually helped someone, and that is more than all of ye put taegether.”

She turned with the force of a storm and marched back out of the chamber, leaving them speechless. She had tried to be nice. She had tried to be accommodating. She had tried to be patient, but none of it worked. They were never going to accept her as one of their own, so what was the point in trying?

Tara strode away to a nook and pressed herself into the shadows. There, she wept. It was all becoming too much for her. It was quickly becoming clear that this Keep wasn’t as much of a home to her as it had once been. Caroline and Nessa were moving on with their own lives.

Caroline had her own child to think about, so Tara could no longer be a priority. Nessa had thrown herself into this role she had created, taking the welfare of the clan upon her shoulders. She could not see past her own beliefs, and this made Tara feel as though she had lost something. If only Gordon were with her, but now she feared she would never be able to see him again.