A Laird and a Healer (Rebel Highland Brides #2)

Chapter 15

T ara was sitting in her room at the head of the bed, knees drawn into her chest. Her eyes glowed with burning tears, although the wet sorrow had long since been replaced by a deep, heavy frustration. The last few pages of her journal were filled with scrawled, jagged words that had been written with such force they almost ripped the parchment.

Tara stared at the door. It may not have been locked, but she felt a prisoner all the same. Her sisters had turned on her, her fellow apprentices had never been on her side. It started to seem as though this place had never been her home at all. Had everything really changed, or had she simply been too blind to see things as they really were? Perhaps it took leaving home to free her of the mask that blinded her.

While she was angry at the apprentices, she was furious with her sisters. They didn’t listen to her. It was always the same. Caroline was the composed, sensible one. Nessa was the powerful, formidable one. Both of them were stubborn in their own right and were staunch in their beliefs.

Tara was the young one, the naive one, the weak one, the one who needed to be cared for. Caroline and Nessa had never been able to shake that view of her, even though, in Tara’s opinion, it hadn’t been true for a couple of years. She had grown so much, but apparently they couldn’t see it. Nessa couldn’t even begin to fathom that Tara might know what she was doing.

And so they ordered her to stay here, as though she was just like Allan.

It was insulting.

Her bitter thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door. Tara expected it to be one of her sisters. Perhaps Caroline had come to her senses and realized how hurtful she had been. But it wasn’t. It was Elaine. She pushed the door open slightly and stepped inside.

“Tara, is everything well? I heard ye hae a bit of a tae-dae with the other apprentices?”

“It’s naething,” Tara replied in a flat tone.

Elaine pressed her lips together and tilted her head to the side. “I’m afraid they dinnae see it that way. Actually, they hae leveled some accusations against ye.”

Tara’s gaze flashed up at these words, and they glowed with ire. “What kind of accusations?” she asked indignantly.

She began to wonder if Gorram and Ken were the real dangers here. The way she was being treated, people must have thought she was capable of wicked deeds!

Elaine carefully approached the bed and perched herself on the edge, moving Tara’s journal. She kept her voice gentle. “I received a number of complaints. They believe ye are spying on them, writing down all their secrets tae use against them,” as she said this, as she glanced at the journal. “They also said ye are difficult and ye sabotage them by interfering with their concoctions and stealing their ingredients when naebody is looking. They are also afraid that ye hae the Laird’s ear. They think ye will gae tae ye sister and get her tae ask Laird Knox tae throw the girls out of the clan.”

Tara’s eyes went wide. For a moment, she did and said nothing, but then she let out a gasping choke. “They accuse me of all this?” Her eyebrows arched, and she shook her head vehemently. “I hae never done anything like this! And it’s nae as though my sisters would listen tae me anyway. It’s the apprentices who want me out. They hae never liked me on account of my name. Ye cannae believe them, Elaine, ye cannae. I would never dae anything like this. I could nae imagine being sae cunning tae create sae many lies. Ye can even look inside my journal if ye want proof that I hae never written about them.”

Tara grabbed her journal and opened it up. The pages fluttered, but Elaine shook her head.

“I dinnae need tae peek inside yeR journal tae know what type of person ye are, Tara. I hae watched ye since ye began apprenticing under me, and I know what type of woman ye are. I wanted tae come tae ye tae tell ye what people think about ye. I am sorry this hae happened. I know what it’s like tae be treated differently because of yer background. People were a wee bit suspicious of me as well, since I used tae be involved in the Gilmour Clan. Some people dinnae even like getting treated by me. The rivalry between the clans runs deep,” she sighed and leaned back.

“Really? I thought everyone respected ye?”

Elaine rolled her shoulders. “Respect is earned, and I’m sure the same will come tae ye one day, as long as ye keep conducting yerself as ye hae been. It’s just that some girls get ideas in their heads and they cannae shake them. I will hae words with them for ye, but I’m afraid that things are never gaeing tae get better within the ranks of the apprentices. I’m nae sure that they will ever accept ye as one of their own. But tae be honest, I’m nae sure ye need them any longer. I think the time hae come for ye tae stop apprenticing.”

Tara’s face went pale. “Please nae. Please, it’s the only thing that matters tae me. If I cannae heal people, then I dinnae know what I will dae. Please! Did Nessa put ye up tae this?”

The words tumbled from her mouth, and she grasped Elaine’s cloak tightly, a desperate look in her eyes. Elaine couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Ye misunderstand me, Tara. What I mean is that there’s naething more for ye tae learn. By healing that boy, ye hae proven that ye are ready tae be a fully-fledged healer. I hae been impressed with ye over the past months. Ye hae a wide knowledge of the forest, and I dinnae hae any cause tae doubt ye skills. Ye hae proven that ye are capable of gaeing out intae the world. Keeping ye here would be a waste of time when ye could be out there, helping people.”

“Dae ye really think sae?” Tara’s face lit up and all of the dark emotion was swept away.

“Aye, of course. I just hae tae make my recommendation tae the Laird, and I’m sure that it’ll be fine.”

Tara’s heart sank at this. “I’m nae sure he will grant this, at least nae yet. My family seem tae think that the best thing for me is tae stay here. They’re worried that something bad is gaeing tae happen.”

Elaine wore a sober look and nodded. “And they are right tae worry. These are dangerous times.”

“But they are treating me like a child. Am I tae stay in these four walls for however long it takes them tae find Gorram and Ken? I want tae help people. I am a healer. That’s what I must dae.”

“Then ye must convince them that ye are right. Tara, ye are old enough tae make yer own decisions. Ye dinnae need tae simply accept yer sister’s judgment.”

When Elaine said this, Tara couldn’t believe that she hadn’t thought of this before. Elaine was right. Tara was so used to acquiescing to Caroline and Nessa that she didn’t even think about challenging them properly. Their judgment wasn’t unimpeachable.

“If ye want something, then ye are gaeing tae hae tae fight for it, just like yer ma,” Elaine continued.

The mention of Tara’s mother surprised her. The woman had died before Tara had grown old enough to comprehend the world and form memories that lasted a lifetime. Because of this, Caroline had been more of a mother to Tara.

“Ye knew Ma?”

“Och aye, I even considered her a friend once upon a time. Ye truly are the spitting image of her. Her red hair, and those deep blur pools of blue eyes… She would be sae proud of what ye hae become.”

“Really? What was she like?”

“She was a spirited woman. Would ye like tae hear a story about her?”

“Aye,” Tara said, almost leaping with excitement, “I cannae believe ye hae never mentioned this before.”

Elaine hung her head a little. “Well, I did think about it, but ye hae been through a lot already, and I feared it would only make ye sad. I thought it best tae keep things tae myself while ye studied. Perhaps I was wrong. Anyway, one of my favorite stories is how ye Ma and Da fell in love.

Ye see, the Laird of the clan at the time, yer grandfather, was looking for maidens tae wed his son. He wanted the best of the best, sae he set about inviting many women from all across the Highlands. Yer grandfather was so meticulous, he tested every facet of their personality. He judged their poise, their grace, their eloquence, their dancing, their appearance, all of these things and more.

Well, yer Ma hae designs on ye Da for a long time, but we were just commoners. We were helping the healers back then, just as ye are learning now. Yer Ma was nae daughter of a noble, sae she dinnae think she hae a chance. But her fiery spirit, and beauty, always made her stand out. Sae she showed up in a feast, and, of course, all the other women looked down at her, thinking that she was nae one of them. Did that faze yer Ma, though? Nae one bit.

She proved herself better than them in every aspect, and I must say that it caused yer grandfather nae end of frustration because he expected his son tae marry someone from another clan. But he could nae deny the love of his son’s life.”

“What did Da think?”

“Och, he was overjoyed, of course. I could tell from the first moment he saw yer Ma he was smitten. They were good times then.”

A wistful look came over Elaine’s face, and Tara suddenly felt sad.

“I wish I hae been there tae see it for myself. I would hae loved tae meet her. Caroline and Nessa speak about her sometimes, but I can only smile and nod, pretending that I understand. I try my hardest tae remember her, even just a flash, but there’s naething there.”

“Aye, it’s a tragic thing tae happen,” Elaine placed a hand on Tara’s shoulder. “But at least she left ye with two sisters. Ye are lucky tae hae such a family, even if things are strained at the moment. Ye must remember that they love ye, and they are only daeing this because they think it’ll keep ye safe. It’s up tae ye tae change their minds. I’m sure that after all ye hae been through, ye cannae truly think they would be cruel tae ye.”

“Probably nae,” Tara admitted in a small voice.

She ran her hand through her hair and thanked Elaine for coming by to talk to her. It helped to put things into perspective. Surely, Tara’s mother, or her father for that matter, would want her to quarrel with Caroline and Nessa like this. They were supposed to face the world together, not be at odds with each other. They weren’t like the apprentices, scheming and cruel. Tara may not have agreed with her sisters, but they were acting out of love and that, at least, had to be respected.

She felt renewed and cleansed, and so she walked out of her room in search of Caroline and Nessa, hoping to speak with them calmly and make them see that she was more capable than they believed.

Tara walked through the castle but could not find Caroline or Nessa anywhere. She was told that Nessa was training, which shouldn’t have come as much surprise, and Caroline had taken Allan for a walk, although the servant could not say where specifically. Tara assumed it would be the gardens, as Allan enjoyed looking at the colorful flowers.

Tara set off towards the gardens, as she would pass the training grounds on the way. Perhaps speaking to her sisters individually would be better. As she approached, she saw swords flashing. Most of the guards had not taken kindly to Nessa’s addition to their ranks.

Tara stopped for a moment and considered how similar their situations were. She was ostracized by the apprentices just as Nessa was by the guards, and yet they had never spoken about it. Nessa was likely trying to prove herself, and perhaps this explained why she was so determined to make things unfold as she saw fit.

The only person who did respect her was the head of the guards, Hamish. It was he who stood across from Nessa. They moved in such a way that it resembled a dance, albeit a deadly one, with blades flashing and crashing through the air. From her vantage point, Tara could just about make out the smile on Nessa’s face, she relished this.

At one point, Nessa went low and swept Hamish’s legs out from underneath him. He reached out and grabbed her arm, and they went tumbling town in a mess of limbs and hair. Nessa ended up draped on top of him, her hair spilling around his face. The swords were dropped and Tara’s breath left her throat.

It was almost as though she were intruding on an intimate moment. But Hamish was much older, with no intention of having a family. He was bound by his duty. Nessa spoke about him with glowing respect, and it was impossible that her feelings ran deeper than she admitted.

She averted her gaze, just in case she saw something that could not be unseen, at which point she noticed Ryan striding towards her with a determined look in his eyes.

She remembered the first time she had ever seen him. What a terrible figure he had been, holding the fate of her and her sisters in his hands. Tara had quaked with fear and been utterly speechless. It was Caroline who had saved them and won his heart. In truth, she was still a little afraid of Ryan now, although it was hard to see him as a brute while having watched him dote over his son.

“Tara, can I hae a wee word?” he began. Tara inclined her head. “I’m sorry I hae nae been around tae welcome ye back. My hands hae been full, but Caroline told me what happened. Is it true ye were held by Laird Abernathy?”

“Aye,” Tara replied.

Ryan exhaled. “I understand that ye grew quite close tae him. I wondered if perhaps…” he scratched the nape of his neck. “Dae ye think Laird Abernathy would help us if we’re attacked?”

“I’m nae sure. As ye know, he prefers tae stay within his borders.”

“I understand. But Ken hae been gathering forces for two years. I cannae tell how many people he hae rallied tae his cause, how many scoundrels and bandits and black-hearted men. I thought perhaps yer… bond with him might provide him with motivation tae help.”

Tara’s throat ran dry. This felt like a ploy to her. But she wondered if she could turn it to her advantage.

“I was supposed tae return tae him. I could ask him myself, if ye allowed me tae leave.”

Ryan looked away for a moment. “I cannae dae that, Tara. Caroline made me swear that I would keep ye safe. She would nae be able tae live with herself if anything happened tae ye. But ye must know the man. Can ye give any insight?”

Tara folded her arms across her chest, a little annoyed that her idea had not succeeded. “I dinnae think he would gae tae war. His son hae only just recovered from an illness. Gordon would nae leave his side.”

“What if ye asked him as a favor for healing his son?” Ryan suggested.

Tara wondered if Gordon would respond to such a request. He had promised Tara that he would protect her after all, but Tara dismissed the idea. “How can I ask him if I cannae see him?”

“Ye could write a letter tae him, implore him tae help. I know what men are willing tae dae for people they care about.”

“Dinnae ask me tae dae that, Ryan. I will nae ask Gordon tae gae tae war for me and put himself in danger. He is currently spending time with his son. I am nae gaeing tae ask him tae stop. I am certainly nae gaeing tae put such words in a letter. It feels cold and manipulative for a healer to ask for something like this from a person in need. Gordon is a man I care about deeply. Ye would never do that tae Caroline. I am disappointed that ye even asked me.”

It was the first time she had ever spoken in this tone to Ryan, but it was thoroughly deserved.

“I’m sorry, Tara. I’m just trying tae think about how best tae handle the situation. I dinnae want this place tae be sieged. But ye are right, I should nae use ye as a diplomatic tool. I will find some other way,” he said, turning away from her.

Tara was a little frustrated that she couldn’t help, and more frustrated that her situation remained as it was. She turned to look towards Nessa, but she and Hamish had disappeared. Then, Tara walked through the gardens but couldn’t find any trace of Caroline.

The conversations with her sisters were going to have to wait, and her thoughts turned to Gordon. She almost wished she could be selfish enough to ask him to come to her aid, part of the reason why she was afraid was because she sensed that he might well come riding across the horizon for her.

But she could not ask him to make such a sacrifice.