Chapter 23
Julie
It Hurts
Tessa Rose Jackson, FFM
It was Friday afternoon, and hours had passed since the strange incident in Professor Tiberius’ office. I hadn’t been followed or threatened by him yet, but it was only a matter of time before he took revenge for my stupid rummaging.
The encounter with him in his office still seemed so surreal to me.
Just before he had opened the closet, I had managed to swallow the last ration of Salma from Gloria. The stuff had literally saved my life. Otherwise, I would never have been able to stand up to this man while he had his hands around my neck.
The memory of his rough skin and that darkened look sent a warm and cold shiver down my spine.
I sat on our bench on the campus grounds, vigilantly observing my surroundings. Grace sat next to me, busy with her phone.
Ever since she started talking more and acting as if nothing had ever happened between us, Bayla had been even more silent.
The slim girl with shoulder-length hair sat there reading, looking as if her thoughts were in a completely different world.
I wondered if I sometimes seemed like that to Grace or the rest of the Circle... or to Bayla and Larissa.
It still bothered me that Larissa was now a Ruisangor and I came to the realization that Legacy Ruisangors could camouflage their untransformed offspring perfectly among humans.
Now I waited with Bayla for Larissa to return and let the icy autumn wind blow through my hair. When the wind blew, I felt more comfortable than usual. But there was nothing I liked more than the snow. I would have to be patient for another month or two if I could rely on Oliver Bexley’s weather forecasts.
Ever since I was little, I liked the cool wetness that covered landscapes in a white and calm blanket. I even used to go ice skating back then. It took me a long time to find out where this love of snow and ice came from. It was inside me. A part of me. I had inherited it. From my father.
I knew nothing about him except that he had been the son of Gloria Westcode.
Somehow, I had gotten over myself and asked Amara who this man had been, but she had said that it was better to keep certain things buried.
Of course, I hadn’t just sat around and done nothing. I wanted to know what had happened to him. After all, he had been a male Quatura, which meant that contact with him would be allowed, but it was as if this mysterious Alaister Westcode had never existed, not on paper, let alone on the internet.
“How much longer are we going to wait?”
Grace looked impatient and played with her elbow as if she had been bitten by a mosquito. Her cell phone was on the table in front of us.
“It can’t be that long,” Bayla sighed without looking up from her book. It was an old book, probably one of the works she had to read during her studies.
“What happened to her ?” Vivienna remarked suspiciously and loud enough for me to hear her despite the distance to the huge Victorian pavilion.
I followed her gaze and spotted... Mady .
She was wearing a gray hoodie and her makeup looked smudged. Her hair was disheveled, and it looked like she was in desperate need of a shower. She no longer smiled at people who approached her. A trait that I had always admired and at the same time viewed with suspicion, because why should I smile at the person opposite me if I didn’t even know them? Only now did I realize how lifeless she seemed without her smile.
I remembered what had happened.
“She looks terrible,” Grace sighed, and I looked at her. I didn’t know what exactly I was looking for. Pity or the usual hatred?
“Her brother’s dead,” Bayla remarked, looking at Grace in an odd way. “And I think you should put your hatred for her aside.”
I looked back at Mady, who was walking toward the west wing.
It reminded me of back then. Everyone had liked her, and she had danced at all the parties, joined every club at school and had even been more popular than Vivienna, simply because of her friendliness. Then her parents had died. And she had looked a lot like she did today. Until she’d gotten together with Nash. That was the point I didn’t understand. Nash was an asshole to everyone, but he’d always been caring to her, until that day a year ago…
I glanced toward the parking lot where he’d just closed the car door of his blue Jeep, and I held my breath as I realized his gaze was glued to Mady, who disappeared into one of the doorways a few seconds later. He stared as if he didn’t understand the world.
Did he know about Ezra? Did he even care?
I must have stared too long because he turned his head toward me, and I quickly looked back at Grace and Bayla.
“She’s in a shit state, and she needs people to be there for her. This unnecessary drama is just child’s play,” Bayla snorted, visibly upset, and I knew she was right.
Grace apparently disagreed. “It’s the same as with you and Larissa.”
“Larissa and I grew up together.” Bayla sounded indignant.
“For the last time: I know you’re best friends, but you need to stop seeing her.”
“For the last time, Grace: I’m not going to do that.”
It had been like this all morning. Larissa hadn’t slept in the accommodation with us, but Grace tried to convince Bayla to stay away from her. It was an interesting situation because Bayla was disobeying the rules of the Circle... and she was allowed to because she wasn’t yet part of the Quatura community without the rite of passage, even if Amara and Grace were already calling her a Novice.
“This is crazy.” Grace continued to curse. “I’m going to be dragged to the Councils for this.”
“You won’t, Grace. Even I know that,” I sighed, because she was really starting to get on my nerves. She definitely got that from her mother, only her mother stayed calmer. Something Grace had yet to learn.
“What Gloria doesn’t know won’t become a problem.”
Bayla seemed to be serious, and I was as aware as Grace that she was underestimating the situation. Gloria wasn’t a strict mother who admonished us for our missteps. She was a bird of prey, ready to tear us to pieces if we threatened the existence of the Councils and the Circle.
Grace looked stunned at Bay, who turned her eyes back to the pages of the book, and finally to me.
“All of you have gone mad!” Grace exclaimed.
She reached for her phone again, probably to distract herself.
I automatically reached for my own cell phone and immediately regretted it. Ever since I’d slept with Erik, I’d wanted more. I missed him, his kisses on my lips and his body against mine, much warmer than mine.
I blushed and tried not to look up from the screen.
He hadn’t texted me again, and I understood why. I was a traitor. I had hurt him without meaning to, just because I hadn’t thought about the consequences of our meeting sooner. We should never have met. Then everything would be the same as before.
I tried to convince myself that my family and the Circle were the reason for this misery, but that wasn’t the case. It was me . I was afraid of myself, afraid of losing control, afraid of destroying something that I...
No .
I almost finished the sentence. Instead, I sat on this cold stone bench, terrified of my own thoughts and ashamed of my stupid behavior. The wind was blowing fiercely, whipping and punishing me for all my sins.
“Okay, so when Larissa comes out, I’m leaving.”
“There she comes,” I remarked quietly, yet Bayla and Grace heard me.
They both jumped up quickly, one of them rushing past me with a devastating look and the other storming off in the opposite direction, straight toward Larissa, who was in the company of the young DeLoughrey men. Not a good sign.
I wanted to follow her, but decided that wouldn’t be such a good idea. I had respect for the Ruisangors and all the drama around me was already too much for me.
I needed some distance. So, I decided to go to the library, borrow some books and retreat to the student accommodation to study.
Pearson Specter Litt
Christopher Tyng
Studying would have been a fantastic distraction if the fight of the century hadn’t been raging in our accommodation.
The picture that revealed itself to me when I entered the house was almost bizarre. Vivienna – or my cousin now, even if I really disliked the idea – and her two best friends were standing in the kitchen area wearing green face masks and opposite them was Emely with Buddy in her arms. The dog looked scared. Not like he’d done something stupid, which he was a natural at.
“It’s not even your dog!” Vivienna snarled at Emely, who was the only person who looked normal. Except for the glowing yellow eyes that made me freeze in place.
“Just leave the dog out of your vengeful machinations!” Emely retorted in a firm voice.
Stunned, I stared at Vivienna.
The dog? Was she serious?
Of course , Vivienna had intended to continue showing me her dislike. Now that – according to my DNA – I was part of her family, she seemed to hate me even more. As if I had chosen all of this.
“What’s between me and Julie is none of your business!”
“If this puppy is involved, it is!”
Emely looked furious, as if the dog was her child.
I cleared my throat and everyone looked at me.
Emely’s eyes were still glowing yellow, her body tense.
“You ruined everything!” Amber screeched angrily to Emely, dragging Kelly with her to the stairs before I could intervene.
Vivienna blinked at me angrily before opening her mouth.
“You almost had a whole other dog.”
I stepped forward, trying not to let my insecurity show.
And whatever Vivienna had intended to do to Buddy, it triggered a slight anger inside me, made my fingertips tingle.
“I haven’t done anything to you, Vivi. So please, leave me alone.” I clenched my shaky hands into fists to fight my insecurity. “But if you’re so desperate to find out, I could be someone else entirely!”
My fingers twitched, and her startled gaze lingered on my hands.
She was probably surprised by the coldness in my voice, just as I was. I had taken two doses of Salma again. The perfect amount to make me forget that I had no self-consciousness.
I stepped closer. Vivienna actually took a step back.
Suddenly, she raised her hands and a pillow flew against my head. My body hit the sofa and I crashed to the floor.
Pain shot through my back.
Vivi laughed derisively. However, she hadn’t taken my body’s autonomy into account, because the kitchen tap started automatically, and I looked down at my hands, which were turning blue.
I looked up at Vivienna. Her smile was gone, and the color drained from her face.
Very slowly, I straightened up again and concentrated on the water, but I didn’t succeed. I didn’t have the right crystal and water was not my element.
Instead, my magic took on a life of its own, and Vivienna began to shriek as the green mask gradually crumbled from her face and shattered on the floor.
She turned away from me and rushed up the stairs, her girls following her as if a serial killer was about to get them. Then a door banged.
I picked myself up and looked at my hands, which were returning to normal color. Then I looked at Emely, whose eyes were still glowing and who had stepped behind the countertop with Buddy in her arms. She looked... scared? Of me?
“Thanks for looking after my dog,” I said, and she still didn’t move until I stepped toward her. She stumbled backward.
“Emely,” I began hesitantly. “The dog. I’d love to have him back.”
She looked at the golden ball of fur, which had dozed off, and made me smile a little. Then she hesitantly held it out to me.
I noticed that the tap was still running, so I turned it off with a flick of my hand using telekinesis. At least that still worked.
Emely stared at my hands.
“You don’t need to be afraid of me. I won’t attack you.”
That wasn’t a promise, but as long as she didn’t attack me or stand in my way when I had an outburst, everything should turn out fine for her.
Her eyes normalized abruptly, and she began to laugh disdainfully.
“I’m not afraid of you witches.”
She turned her head away and walked back to the stove, where something was boiling.
I inhaled automatically and immediately recognized the smell. Everything inside me began to spin. My stomach squeezed as if I had swallowed metal and then, like last time, I felt sick to my stomach. I hunched forward.
Emely seemed to notice. “God, what’s going on now?”
“What do you always cook there?” I gasped.
“It’s just normal meat,” she said, shaking her head and looking back at her food.
Another wave of scent hit me. That was too much.
The urge to vomit hit me again, and I stormed up the stairs. Once in the bathroom, I quickly bent over the toilet. I threw up until the gag reflex eased, straightened up and rinsed my mouth out, trying to keep my balance at the sink.
From now on, I would consciously avoid the kitchen as soon as Emely was cooking there.
I flinched when, through the mirror – which was covered in green mask stains – I spotted Emely leaning in the doorway behind me with her arms crossed.
I wheeled around in alarm.
“Either you’re terribly unstable or you’re pregnant.”
I hadn’t been prepared for that sentence. It jolted me back to reality so hard that I had to hold on to the sink to keep from falling over.
“It’s not my food because someone just ate it yesterday without asking.”
I couldn’t answer her and clawed my hands deeper into the sink as if otherwise I would tip over and the water on the edge started to freeze. Fine ice crystals formed under my hands.
“Don’t tell me you had unprotected sex.”
That was the crux of the matter. I hadn’t...
“I... I’m on the pill,” I stuttered.
She stared at me for a second too long.
“What?” I asked in a panic. I preferred any answer from her now rather than her remaining silent.
“I would never have guessed that you had a boyfriend.”
Nice that Emely didn’t think I had any social skills, either. And she was right. My personality ruined any relationship.
“I don’t have a boyfriend,” I sighed, clutching my head.
Despair rose up inside me, and everything moist I touched inevitably froze into ice. I tried to cover it up, but the panic in my chest made itself noticeable through my trembling.
“Shit,” Emely laughed, looking at me even more speechless. “I really didn’t expect that.”
I started to wipe the ice off the sink with a towel. It was ice. Dammit. It wasn’t going to come off that easily.
“So, you are pregnant?” Emely whispered cautiously.
“I’m not pregnant... no.”
I clutched my head again. All I wanted was a clear moment to think. And now the Salma was gone. I was weak, fragile. “That can’t be. It’s impossible...”
Emely looked at me. “Are you on medication?”
I paused.
Of course I wasn’t on medication, but something else. I opened my eyes.
Salma .
Emely sighed, overwhelmed. “Maybe you should take a pregnancy test,” she said.
“Lucky, I’d say.”
Emely looked down at the pregnancy test in her hands.
I wasn’t sure where she had dug it out, but she had brought it to me within seconds. I had somehow managed to get it done and had survived the longest ten minutes of my life. The next moment, Emely was back in the bathroom holding it out to me.
At the moment, she didn’t seem like she hated me, almost as if she had momentarily forgotten about our family rivalry.
I was surprised, but panic had been gnawing at me until a few seconds ago, so I couldn’t think about it any further.
Hesitantly, I picked it up and stared at the single red line.
I hadn’t felt so relieved in a long time.
Emely took it out of my hand and threw it in the garbage can. “And best you stay away from my food. I don’t know what’s going on with you when you smell that, but it doesn’t seem to be doing you any good.”
“I’ll try” I sighed, still shaking with my whole body.
A shiver ran down my spine.
I could have been pregnant . But no... It had only been a week since I’d slept with Erik, and I was also on the pill. Once again, I’d been unnecessarily paranoid.
“Are all Quatura like this?”
I turned to Emely and brushed my completely disheveled hair behind my ear.
What did she mean by that?
“Whatever. Stay out of the kitchen when I’m cooking,” Emely sighed when I didn’t answer.
I nodded and she turned away from me.