Chapter 24
Bayla
Maxé
DOLKINS
Alarik had given me the herbal mixture, and now I drank it every day. The downside: headaches. Similar to the ones I had been having until a week ago.
By now, the herbal mixture had run out. Perhaps I had used too much per cup, but who could I ask besides Alarik when no one but the two of us knew of my apparent true identity?
Denial didn’t help at all, except that I managed to read through the books that were on my reading list for the semester.
Now it was Friday, and I was sitting in Julian’s passenger seat because he insisted on taking me home, even though he no longer lived next door but on campus.
“And you’re not afraid that someone will find out?” I asked in astonishment.
Julian was focused on the road, as always. That was why I had gotten into the habit of only communicating with him at traffic lights, because then his attention belonged to the passenger for once.
“You have to think of it as a gray area.” I raised an eyebrow as he slowed down and shifted into first gear. “I don’t live here anymore, but I can’t take the workshop onto campus with me.” He grinned mischievously at me. “And it’s just as difficult to take the grand piano.”
Both were true, but that wasn’t the whole truth. I knew he was helping his father pack and planned to check on him regularly.
“Has your father found a house by now?”
Silence. Then I realized that everything was working in Julian before he answered me. “Our old house is already occupied by people.”
“Oh” The subject was sensitive, but it was worth trying to dig further. “And that seems to upset you?”
Julian grumbled something incomprehensible, then stepped on the gas and crossed one of downtown’s many traffic lights, driving past the glass-encased DeLoughrey skyscrapers that cast a huge shadow over the district.
“It’s my old family home, not just any place to live... It feels like they could take everything from us here, kick us out everywhere.”
Shit. I seemed to have a talent for bringing up sensitive subjects.
“I grew up there.” He snorted contemptuously. “If I’d known back then that our value to that pack depended on our loyalty and performance, and that they didn’t give a shit about our private problems, I would have left a lot sooner.”
His words stuck in my head, dug deeper. If anyone ever found out I was one of them, I’d be under the same pressure as Julian, forced to get to know the pack and maybe get to experience the same sides as he did.
And another thought came to mind: I was like him, like Julian.
My eyes wandered to the young man next to me.
“Alarik...” I began and Julian turned his head toward me. “Our professor... He’s part of the pack and seems somehow trustworthy.”
Julian laughed. “To hear that from a Quatura...”
I almost started to protest, but for some reason it felt unsafe. It was strange that no one had noticed what I really was. By now, I was asking myself if what the professor had shown me wasn’t just an illusion. It had been five days and... seemed so blurry.
“Alarik is different from the rest of the pack. Sometimes I get the feeling he’s against a lot of what the Alpha decides. And he dares to speak against it, which makes it more complicated for him in the pack. But that’s a whole other topic.”
“Explain it to me,” I demanded, and Julian rolled his eyes.
“Oddly enough, for being one of them, you want to know a lot, Blueberry.”
“Hey!” I said, offended, yet with a grin.
I felt my cheeks redden.
That nickname was ridiculous.
Julian next to me just grinned. At least he didn’t seem to notice that I was almost bombarding him with questions.
“Nickolas – the Alpha – and Alarik are brothers,” he continued. “And since they are equally strong and equally skilled, it is impossible for Nickolas to bind his brother to him through the Alpha bond. This is mainly due to the Alpha gene that they both carry.”
“Alpha bond?”
“It’s a mental process in which the Alpha makes the members of the pack submissive. That’s all it is.”
Oh God, this pack was no better than Mum’s cult.
“But that doesn’t change the fact that he’s the Alpha’s brother and therefore an integral part of the pack. He’s a Beta wolf, Emely’s father’s closest confidant. At least, that’s what he was until recently.”
Discomfort spread through me. What if Alarik was trying to get me into the pack after all and this was all just a sneaky plan to trick me?
“Beta wolves? So, there’s a pack hierarchy?”
“Yes,” Julian confirmed, and turned into Beaver Street.
I remembered that Julian had mentioned Emely. “And Emely? Is she trustworthy? I mean, you seem to have known each other for a long time, but...”
God, how was I supposed to finish that sentence without making it even more suspicious?
“I’ve never seen anyone as devoted to the pack as she is.”
Great. That didn’t sound good for me and my situation. If she found out what I was, it would probably be the end of the game of hide and seek, which had only just begun.
“It all seems to be something higher for her. She is extremely loyal and stands up for everyone who is part of the pack.” So, I would no longer be a threat to her from the moment I became part of the pack… “That was already the case back then. She’s very strong. You shouldn’t underestimate her.”
I looked at Julian, who had parked between our houses. My gaze lingered on his face. His side profile was angular, but his slightly tousled curls hanging down his forehead created a harmonious effect. He radiated a calmness that I had never experienced before. It surprised me that he didn’t have a girlfriend.
“You like her a lot,” I remarked, and he turned his face toward me, giving me a perfect view of his olive-green eyes. There they were again, the little golden speckles shining vividly. A detail you could only see if you were close enough.
He opened his mouth but seemed speechless for a moment.
“Don’t talk yourself out of it. I’ve told you before. You like her. She likes you. There’s some kind of connection between the two of you.”
“We grew up together,” he said defensively, which only emphasized my theory.
“Perfect premise,” I laughed softly.
“How so?”
I sighed. “If you can be best friends, you can be more. And it’s kind of romantic, don’t you think?”
He scratched the back of his neck sheepishly. “But...”
“Just admit to yourself that she’s not just Emely.”
I started to laugh, and he blushed like a shy little boy.
“You’re right.”
My jaw dropped. “What?”
He put one hand on my head and the other under my chin. I immediately felt the pleasant warmth of his fingers. My stomach tingled strangely.
“Close your mouth.” I grinned. “And not what?” He took his hands off my head again. “When you told me that, I felt like an idiot.”
“You are an idiot.” I couldn’t stop laughing, and he gave me a friendly slap on my calves because I had pulled my legs up onto the seat.
“Thanks,” was all he said, the grin literally waiting to appear on his lips.
“Anyway, it’s only now that I’ve realized that I’ve probably overlooked many aspects of her that make her special.”
I tried to calm down a little again, because after all, it was something personal that I had just learned from Julian. And people didn’t open up every day. Especially not people like Julian.
He must really like Emely a lot, otherwise he wouldn’t have even given my suspicion that there was something going on a second thought.
“And now?” Curiosity rose inside me.
“Now?” He didn’t seem to understand me.
“What will you do?” I asked curiously.
He looked at me as if I had just told him that cooking also involved cleaning the dishes.
“You’re not just going to sit there twiddling your thumbs with this information about your feelings.”
“I don’t even know if she really wants anything from me,” he tried to talk his way out of it.
I shook my head.
Why were guys often so lost? Wasn’t it obvious what to do?
“Then figure it out.”
“I don’t want anything to do with the pack.”
“Is Emely the pack?”
“No, but...”
“God, Julian, do you have to be forced to find happiness?”
Julian paused, saying nothing more. I seemed to have made him think. And if Emely meant something to him, then he had to act. Maybe then other things would fall into place, too. For example, the relationship between him and Nash.
“You should meet up with her.”
“We see each other a lot on campus, even at her family’s estate, yesterday.”
Of course, all the rich people here owned an estate. What else did I expect?
“I thought you wanted to stay away from the pack,” I thought out loud.
“My sister lives there now. She had to leave first, so my father could have more time to find a house.”
“What?”
The pack seemed stricter than expected. Hierarchies, bonds and now something like this? I didn’t like the idea of me having anything to do with that at all.
“Just don’t ask.”
And I didn’t. Instead, I returned to the Emely topic.
“As for Emely, you should meet up with her, undisturbed. Go to the diner together or do something you used to do as kids.”
“We used to chase frogs together.”
I laughed, amused. “Maybe something else?”
“Building booths in the garden.”
“Mh...” I was beginning to get the feeling that Julian had a lot of fond memories of that time buried inside him, and that somewhere in between there were probably feelings for Emely.
“There’s a tree house that we built.”
I looked at him with envy. That sounded like a perfect date.
“Meet her there.”
“Don’t you think that might seem weird?”
“Weird?” I raised my eyebrows. “The only thing that’s weird is your lack of experience in dating.”
I palmed myself cross-legged in front of him.
“What does that mean?” Julian asked, also pulling one of his legs up onto the seat so he could turn to face me.
“It means what it means.” I laughed, gesticulating. “You can’t even flirt.”
“Take that back,” he snorted in astonishment. His eyes widened, and I couldn’t help but laugh out loud. “Take that back, Bayla.”
“I won’t.” I couldn’t stop laughing, even when he shook my leg and I slapped his hand away, laughing.
“I’m sure you’re no better,” he snorted, leaning against his door, his eyes glinting playfully in challenge.
“Who says I want to be good at this? I don’t have a pretty girl to impress.”
He didn’t seem to have anything else to say. Instead, he shook his head with a grin and looked down. It made me notice his thick eyelashes better.
“At least you look good. That’s your compensation.”
Julian’s jaw dropped, and I took the opportunity to pull my bag off the back seat.
“I have to get going,” I said, without stopping to grin at Julian’s reaction. Then I opened the door, got out of the car and disappeared, the corners of my mouth pulled way up without looking back, even though I could feel Julian’s eyes on me.
Suspenseful Mystery Investigation
RealTunesStudio
The whole house seemed quiet again. Not eerily, but as if there really was no one here. Somehow, I was still paranoid enough to sneak up the stairs and check that the room was closed.
The door was shut, and I pushed the handle down, but left it at that. I wasn’t in the mood to enter this room.
I remembered that I still had the written pages of the book somewhere…
Shit, they were still in the box with the student uniforms under my bed on campus. I had completely forgotten about them.
I turned away from the door, cursing, and went to Mum’s room to check that she really wasn’t there.
Her room was the same size as the other two but simpler. The decorations in this room were not as plentiful as in her book room, and there was a large desk with a glass top and two computer screens against the wall.
DLSC was written in simple italics on the screen saver. This was her employer. Whatever exactly this company did... Maybe I should find out what this company was researching? It belonged to the DeLoughreys, to the mysterious family Larissa now belonged to.
My mind flashed back to the conversation I’d had this afternoon, when she’d angrily rejected me again and called me a liar. We hadn’t crossed paths since then. She no longer slept in our accommodation, as Emely occasionally did, but at least the latter came for meals. And that hurt like hell.
After all, Larissa had to understand why I hadn’t told her anything and that everything here was crazy. Even I didn’t want to come into contact with it, and by now I was in the middle of it.
I focused on Mum’s desk again and spotted an open file on the edge of the table.
Curious, I stepped further into the room, closer to the papers until I could read them.
When I got to the end of this far too scientific document, I felt overwhelmed. It took me a while to understand what it was actually about and what the letters and numbers meant.
A little shocked, I looked at the column of Ruisangors, all high-risk births and stillbirths, and in every case the mother died.
I immediately thought of Larissa, who belong to the Ruisangors, which made a lot more sense now. Of course, I could be wrong, but Larissa was an orphan and her mother had died giving birth to her. What a shock it must have been for her to find out what she actually was, and at the same time it was a damn coincidence. Larissa, of all people. Did she know about these inheritance rules?
Curious, I continued to study the table and noticed another peculiarity. It was rare for a female Senseque to be born... and she had to be pureblood.
My breath caught in my throat.
No, impossible...
My mother was a Quatura.
Just to make sure I had understood correctly, I looked again at the combination of Quatura and Senseque. Not only did this crossbreed clearly have to produce male offspring, it was also outlined in red... as if I wasn’t the only person who had been puzzled by this topic.
Judging by the scribbled handwriting, it was Mum’s.
At the bottom left was another signature... A. Westcode.
Only one person came to mind, and that was Amanda, Vivienna’s mother. She had seemed like she knew my mother, but did they do research together? Odd... And the dates in the bottom right-hand corner were also worrying.
The document had been created on November 6, 1998. Twenty years ago. That’s how long Mum seemed to have been researching this project.
I tried to soak up all the information from the page, but I kept getting stuck on the red-circled marker that stood out alarmingly.
Could it be that she knew? What if she knew and that’s why she’d kept researching it? Precisely because she wanted to know how it was possible that I was a girl and not a boy. Is that why she thought I was a Quatura?
More and more questions piled up in my head, but there was one that wouldn’t let go. What if I wasn’t allowed to exist?
It was certain that I was descended from a Quatura... and most likely from a Senseque. But that wasn’t allowed. These two sides... They hated each other to the core, almost as much as the Ruisangors and the Senseque.
“Bayla, what...”
I wheeled around.
“Mum!”
Mum looked at me in surprise before her eyes wandered to the document in my hands. Then she paled. With a quick step, she approached me and snatched the document from me as if it were a bar of nougat chocolate. Her favorite kind.
“What are you doing here?”
It didn’t even sound angry, but rather... shocked? Had she wanted to keep these documents from me?
“Mum, you’re researching the genetics of the species?”
Mum didn’t seem to know quite how to respond to my questions, so she pushed me aside, put the document in the desk drawer, which was – what else – lockable, and pulled me out of the room a few seconds later.
“You’ve been researching genetics for twenty years...”
“Bayla, you shouldn’t have seen that.” She pulled me violently toward her, by the shoulders, but I barely moved. I remembered her being stronger. She seemed puzzled for a moment. “Tell me what you saw.”
Confused, I blinked at her. How did my mother always manage to catch me off guard like this?
“Tell me, Bayla, what did you read?”
“Just briefly... the table and...” I thought about what I should tell her, but decided to skip the red circling. “That you and Amanda Westcode have been researching these things.”
Mum stared at me. There was something indecisive in her eyes. She looked much more confused than I felt, and somehow like I’d found out something that no one really should know about.
“You never say a word about what you’ve just seen.” Mum shook my shoulders as if she wanted me to give an immediate sign of approval. “Bayla, you have to promise me.” There was desperation in her eyes, and finally I nodded, but not without giving free rein to one of my many questions.
“Why? What’s so wrong with this document?”
Mum blinked at me. She always did that when I asked too many questions, for example about my father. Only this time I wasn’t going to let her get away without an answer.
“Tell me why. Why exactly should I keep it to myself?”
“I should never have done that investigation.”
“Why not?”
Mum fell silent again, looking nervously at the floor between us.
There was too much she wasn’t telling me. Once again. And I was tired of confronting her for nothing. She might end up lying to me for more reasons she would never tell me. Confrontation didn’t help with her. It never had. The reason I would have to find out everything on my own from now on.
“All I can tell you is that I’ll be in big trouble if anyone finds out I have this document.”
“Why? Surely Amanda has it too.”
“Bayla, please.”
This plea sounded so desperate that I could almost feel Mum feeling backed into a corner. And I didn’t want that for her. Even if she was hiding too much from me, I couldn’t leave her with no other choice. She had to be willing to open up to me on her own, whenever that might be. And that was only possible if I gave her the space to do so.
I instinctively pulled her into a hug. She seemed confused, but eventually she hugged me tightly. So tightly that a sweet, pleasant scent filled my nose. Too sweet to be true. Too sweet to be able to think clearly…
I inhaled the scent, deeply. It filled my body and fogged my senses... until my mouth was watering.
God, what was that smell?
My lips opened slightly, and I sucked in the hint of sweetness. It was like with Mady, although not as strong, and I was just about to open my mouth slightly when the front doorbell rang.
Mum broke away from me without giving me another glance and disappeared downstairs with the words, “ I’ll quickly see who it is .” The smell disappeared with her. And all that remained was my confusion. And a feeling that scared the hell out of me. Hunger.
Hypnotic Suggestions
Chris Tilton