Chapter 20
CHAPTER 20
“ M ay I have this dance, Lady Selina?”
Selina’s surprise was evident. Even Martha’s presence hadn’t been enough to stop her mouth from dropping open. The last she had seen of the Duke, he had made it clear that they would never be alone together again, and now he came to ask her to dance where she couldn’t berate him as freely as she desired.
He really was the worst sort there was.
“She would be delighted, Your Grace,” Martha answered for her, shooting her a look that promised a major scolding once they were alone.
Why would her aunt give her so willingly to the Duke? If she knew the scandalous nature of the activities they’d engaged in, she would no doubt have banned her from speaking to him.
“Give the Duke your hand, Selina,” her aunt instructed with a polite smile.
“I’m afraid my dance card is full, Auntie,” Selina answered stubbornly.
She frowned when the Duke smiled wickedly, picked up her card, and scanned it. She hated the way she admired his long, elegant lashes and how the serious look on his face made him even more handsome.
She saw a flicker of emotion cross his face and wondered if he was jealous of the names he saw on her dance card. If he was, she hoped it hurt him as much as he had hurt her.
“I see one available slot,” he said with a smile at last. “And it’s coming up now.”
She frowned, taking the offending card from him. True enough, there was still a slot available that just happened to be a waltz. The thought of being so close to him had her heart racing in her chest as she remembered everything that happened between them over the past few days. Her cheeks flushed, and she saw a knowing look cross his face.
“I will dance with you, Your Grace,” she said, handing him the card.
She would use the time to ask him why he thought he could keep confusing her the way he did. Since he asked to end their agreement, he should stick to what he had asked for.
She took his hand, pushing down the feelings that rose inside her, and allowed him to lead her to the dance floor. She looked up into those familiar eyes that had seen her at her worst and most vulnerable.
“Why are you doing this?” she asked once the music started, keeping her voice low enough so no one would overhear them.
“Doing what, Lady Selina?” he asked, feigning ignorance.
“This. Dancing with me,” she pointed out, refusing to play his game.
“Because I need to make sure that our final lesson has yielded results,” he answered, not looking at her.
“If you had watched me at all tonight, you would have known that it paid off.”
“I have been watching you, and I can tell that you put all of our lessons to good use.” His eyes ran down her frame, the heat evident in them. “I have been watching you a little too closely.”
His admission shocked her, as she hadn’t seen him all night. She had thought he had decided to leave early instead of waiting for the ball. It made her face heat up, knowing he had seen her flirt with other men using the skills he had taught her.
“And what is your conclusion?” she asked boldly. “Have I sufficiently exercised your education?”
His eyes darkened, but she didn’t cower under the wave of his desire. She had no reason to.
“You have the next few minutes to show me everything I taught you,” he said with a smirk. “Think of this dance as a test, if you will.”
“Are you sure this isn’t just an excuse to spend time with me, Your Grace?” she purred. “I hear I can be very arresting company.”
His eyes lit up at the challenge.
She had to admit that she had missed seeing that look on his face, but still, her anger flared. He only wanted to dance with her as a test? The man was as pigheaded as they came.
She sincerely hoped that seeing her with other men had been enough to annoy him if he felt an iota of anything other than desire for her.
“Indeed?” he asked with a raised eyebrow, spinning her and pulling her back to his chest. “I wonder who would have alluded such. I am yet to see what they refer to.”
“You have a mean sense of humor, Your Grace,” she said with a wicked smile. “A lady like me might find it insulting to call me out on my charms.”
“I mean no offense, My Lady,” he said seriously. “But your charms are overflowing such that a man like me can’t hope to exhaust them even with carefully worded insults.”
“Indeed?” she asked.
“Indeed.”
“To make up for the insult to my charms, I expect a well-worded apology.”
“What if I chose to wax lyrical about the said charms instead?” he asked, leaning closer. “Surely that would please the lady more.”
“It would.” She nodded, curious to hear what he would say.
“You learned your lessons rather well, Lady Selina.” He smiled again, before leaning down to whisper in her ear. “I rather like this dress on you. Your fashion sense has improved.”
“Why must you always be so critical?” she asked, frowning at how swiftly he had changed the topic.
“It amuses me greatly,” he said with a smile. “I like seeing you angry. It is one of my favorite expressions.”
“You’re insufferable.”
“And you’re too easy to annoy.” He tsked. “I thought we had talked about this.”
“You’re the only one I forget my training around.” The words were out before she could think, and when the reality of that statement hit her, she stepped back.
Even when she had been annoyed in the past, she had always been able to maintain her composure and keep her wits about her, resorting to cold responses that conveyed her ire.
The Duke had been the only person, aside from her siblings, who had ever gotten her to feel different ranges of emotions that she had been taught to repress. Even Peter had elicited nothing more than calm happiness, while the Duke had made her ecstatic with joy.
The feel of his eyes on her stirred heat that threatened to consume her whole, and the feel of his hands on her, even small touches, when in polite company had her wanting things she had only read about.
She never should have admitted that he could make her lose her composure, not when it put such a horrified look on his face. That was giving him much more power than she should have given to him or anyone else.
The music ended all too quickly, but neither of them looked away or attempted to move. Selina noted emotions shifting and flickering in his eyes, warring for dominance, and she hoped he would make the right choice.
Them. Together.
He blinked, taking a step back, and she knew then that she had lost him to his stubbornness.
“The student has impressed the teacher,” he said with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “There is nothing left to teach you. I am… proud to have had such an excellent student.”
“Your Grace…”
“I wish you happiness in your search for a match, Lady Selina.” He bowed before he even finished speaking and quickly walked away without so much as a backward glance, not knowing that he was taking a large piece of her heart away with him.
How could he walk away so casually when he, too, was uncomfortable with the decision he was making? Or was he not?
Could she have imagined the look in his eyes?
She felt tears well up in her eyes at the thought that she had imagined she had meant something to him. That she was anything more than a woman he had effectively seduced under the guise of helping her secure a match. That she would never hold his affection enough to secure a match the way Lottie Barnes had.
A lone tear escaped her eye, but she caught it quickly with her kerchief, hoping no one saw it. Feeling more tears threatening to fall, she fanned her face, hoping no one would see her. That would be a scene she didn’t want to cause.
Selina was angry that he had walked away so easily when everything in her wanted to box his ears and tell him that she wasn’t going to let him go so easily.
How could she?
She had never met another gentleman who made her feel so many different emotions in the space of a minute. He infuriated her, excited her, and knew just how to make her laugh. He hadn’t judged her inexperience.
She tried to picture a future with anyone else, but all roads in her mind led back to him. He was all she wanted for a happy future.
He is all I want.
She gasped, clapping a hand over her mouth as she realized that somehow, in their farce, it had become so real that her heart had prepared a snug place just for him and was stubbornly holding on to it.
Somehow, she had fallen in love with the one person she couldn’t have.
“My Lady, are you alright?” an unfamiliar voice asked.
She didn’t look but merely nodded.
“I am well, thank you,” she said, remembering that it was rude not to answer properly, even though she left out the vital part of looking at the person to whom she was speaking.
She turned quickly, hurrying to the balcony and allowing herself the luxury of weeping, clapping a hand over her mouth to stop the sobs that threatened to escape. She waded deeper into the darkness at the edge of the balcony once she heard voices approaching, not wanting anyone to see her.
“Stop, My Lord.” A feminine voice giggled. “They’ll see us.”
“I do not care,” the masculine voice responded.
She lifted her head to see the two lovers kiss quickly before dashing off into the gardens. A smile crossed her face at the playfulness between the two, and then her tears came again, knowing she might never again experience the sweetness of flirtation the way she had with the Duke.
Why couldn’t he just admit that he liked her?
She knew she was lacking in many ways and might not be able to perform well as a duchess, but she learned quickly and could adapt. She loved him enough to try, so why couldn’t he like her enough to see that?
“My apologies, My Lady. I should not have taken such liberties with you. It is an insult to your person. I shall make sure that it does not happen again… You are an innocent. I should never have seduced you or invited you to spend time alone with me. It was ungentlemanly of me, but I could not help myself. It will not happen again. You have enough knowledge now not to require my help or my lessons. I will step aside now to allow you to pursue happiness.”
His parting words had been apologetic, but they still didn’t dull the sting of separation.
She sighed, running her fingers through her hair. If she intended to escape unscathed, she would have to learn to live in a world without the Duke.