13. Lila
13
LILA
I tried my best to sort through my flurry of emotions, but everything within me seemed irrational.
I didn’t want Weylin to claim me. I didn’t want it from Rainor, and, with every fiber of my being, I absolutely did not want it from Kage. I didn’t want this shifter-fated-mate-power-bond thing to control my choices, but the emotions it created were so real. Weylin’s words hit like a rejection, even though I knew they weren’t exactly that.
I said nothing to Weylin as I got dressed, lost in my own thoughts as I tried to sort out what was the true me and what was the mate bond. He led me out into the empty hall, but before we reached the next door, he stopped me. “You’re limping.” He frowned.
I was?
Weylin got down to his knees, but I stepped out of his reach, only now registering the pain in my ankle. I must’ve gotten a deep injury when Clark had shaken me. Though flesh wounds were quick to heal, deep tissue bruising and broken bones took only a little longer.
“I’m fine.”
He quickly got to his feet when a door opened, Kage storming out, with Rainor and Max following close behind. Rainor’s suit was completely disheveled, however his composure was on point as he buried his face in the tablet. Max ran to me, heeling at my side without me saying a single command.
Heat crept up my neck and to my cheeks when the two men came closer to us. Both of them tilted their head up ever so slightly, noses flaring. “I’m ready to go home,” I said.
“You’ll do no such thing. You can sit in the waiting room while we finish some business,” Kage snapped.
I narrowed my eyes at him, ready to remind him I was a grown-ass adult, and if I wanted to leave, I abso-fucking-lutely could.
“It’s done,” Rainor informed Kage, dropping his tablet to waist level.
Weylin looked between the two before wincing, but after a beat, he nodded his head in agreement. This wasn’t the first time I’d noticed their internal communication, but this was the most obvious moment.
“What’s done?” I asked.
Rainor ignored my question. “We can take you to the medical wing now, do some blood work, and have a look at your ankle.”
I pulled away from his hand when he reached out to me. “No. What’s done?”
“Nothing,” Weylin said, rubbing the back of his neck. Liar.
I glared at Kage. “Tell me what is done!”
“One of our own is exiled.” Kage stalked forward, forcing me backward until I was pushed up against the wall, avoiding any kind of physical touch from him. I didn’t want to feel the heat right now.
“Who?”
“Who do you think? Do you honestly believe I would allow such behavior from Clark? From a gamma to a beta?" He waved his hand to Rainor. This close, his scent was heady. The spices, mixed with a sharp alcoholic acidity, had me swaying, but I held strong.
I had to tilt my head up to look him in the eye. “What does being exiled mean?” I asked, trying to keep my voice level.
“He’s banished from this territory and stripped of his place in the pack,” Rainor answered, his voice bored. Weylin, too, seemed indifferent about the situation.
Cold. The lot of them. They were cold and heartless. Might as well be another corpse in the park. “I’m not getting any bloodwork done,” I said, like I would trust any of them with that. “I’m leaving.”
Kage smiled. “You can try.” He turned on his heel and began stalking down the hall.
Weylin sighed. “Just come with us. Sit and wait ten minutes while he chews me out, and then I’ll take you home.”
Not wanting to argue, something that wasn’t getting me anywhere, I agreed. Only because I knew it would be easier to walk out of here once I was out of their sight.
We caught up to Kage and Rainor in the hall, passing groups of shifters as they walked to and from their destinations. Just like before, they inclined their heads at Weylin—more accurately, I had suspected it was Weylin—but by the third group, I realized it wasn’t. They were inclining their heads towards me.
The elevator doors opened, and three shifters walked out, bowing their heads to me as we passed them. I had no idea what was going on, but Kage looked furious, and that pleased some part of me. Rainor kept his expression completely neutral, however Weylin fought hard to suppress his smile, failing miserably.
Up at the twenty-fourth floor, Kage pointed to a sitting room in front of a receptionist’s desk. I didn’t argue, again keeping it all to myself. I sat down on the beautiful reddish-orange sofa and gave Max a scratch as he sat by my legs.
“We’ll be back,” Weylin promised.
The three of them moved as one unit. It was odd to me that they seemed completely disconnected from one another at times yet still perfectly in sync.
I quickly got up off the sofa and peeked around the corner, noting which room they went into. As soon as the door closed, I quietly made my way down the hall, taking in every detail of this office space.
One thing that really stood out was the lack of names, job positions, or job titles anywhere. It was as if people were just expected to know who was where.
When I got to the door, I carefully leaned my head against it and listened. Max was with me, watching and waiting for my command.
“You’re just fucking pissed you threw her to the wolves and she came out leading the whole fucking pack,” Weylin shouted.
“Rainor, I want that bloodwork now. I don’t care if you have to pin her down to take it. I need to know what bloodline she comes from, because as sickly and weak as she is, she shouldn’t be able to overthrow one wolf, much less multiple wolves. And those gammas should not feel as compelled as they were to back her up.” Kage was pissed, though he always seemed that way. I could picture how red his face was at this moment.
Sickly? How the hell did I look sickly?
“Sickly?” Weylin asked.
“We watched her transition.” Rainor was the only calm voice in the room. “It was slow and unregulated. Her coat had a good shine to it, and it’s thick, but I think it’s hiding her actual figure. She’s thin. She’s gone her whole life without proper shifter care.”
I jumped as the door across the hall opened, coming face-to-face with a petite, sweet-faced woman. Caught off guard, I opened my mouth to explain what I was doing, but she waved her hands, then put a finger to her lips, indicating I should be quiet. She waved at me to follow her, which I did, back to the reception area.
I had my phone out in front of me, ready to call for an Uber, because there was no way I was staying here and letting these guys pin me down while they tested my blood.
“Uber won’t pick up here,” the woman said over her shoulder. Her voice was small and sweet, her entire presence feeling like home.
I frowned. “Why not?”
“Security won’t allow it. I’m Emma, the, um, receptionist.”
“Lila, the prisoner.” Emma’s lips twitched to a smile, but she contained it. I let out a breath of frustration. “I knew I should’ve driven myself. I’ll just walk up the street and order an Uber from there.”
“Oh.” Emma chewed away at her lip, her eyes darting around. “You’re their mate,” she said, as if that explained why I couldn’t execute my plan.
My heart sank. “You’re going to try to keep me here too?”
“No, I’m not— It’s just—” She stumbled over her words, clearly nervous. “It’s not exactly safe for you on your own,” she finally said, seeming genuinely concerned.
“I’m armed,” I said, patting my gun in the holster at my side. The gun loaded with silver bullets.
Still, Emma hesitated, and I didn’t miss the way she glanced behind me towards the office door. My detective’s intuition started going off.
I sighed. “Okay. I give, I won’t go anywhere. But after the afternoon I just had, I really, really need a drink. Please tell me there is somewhere close by where we can go? You could come with me. That way, if Kage needs us back, he can just reach out to you. Is that all right?”
“Well.” She bit her lip again. “They might be a while.” Emma took a deep breath, and I recognized the face of bravery she put on. I had a strong dislike for Kage, but if he was hurting his receptionist, I had a feeling that dislike might turn murderous, fated mate or not. “Okay, I know a place.”
The moment we stepped out into the street, Max found the nearest fire hydrant and relieved himself. Emma laughed. “He’s a really good dog,” she remarked, still in a quiet voice.
“Max and I go way back. He was only five weeks old when he was assigned to me at the K9 academy,” I said. “I lost my parents, and he lost his mom. He’s a retired police dog. Almost eight years on the force with me.”
“Wow, that’s a special bond.” We started walking, and Max fell into step with me. He stuck so close, no one ever questioned his lack of leash. “Your parents were human, right?” She sounded like she knew all the answers but was just being polite with conversation.
“Yes. My first run-in with another shifter wolf was with the troublesome trio.”
Emma winced. “That is not a good first-time introduction.”
“You’re telling me.” She paused less than a block away from the tall building, in front of a bar. “Howlers?” I asked, cocking an eyebrow.
She smiled, seeming to relax some more with me. “It’s where a lot of the pack hangs out. Humans don’t wander in too often, but it’s a good place. Come on.”
She took my arm and led me inside. The place was almost overfilled, a huge contrast to the local bar back in my town. The moment we stepped in, the bartender called out, “No dogs!”
Thus started a round of barking and howls from the patrons. “Shut up, you mongrels!” he yelled.
“She’s good,” someone called back. “She’s with the triquetra.”
The bartender nodded. “Apologies,” he yelled over the crowd while getting back to his job.
Emma and I found an empty booth, well, in a way. As we were about to walk by, two males and a female exited it. The male gave a low nod to me before leaving. Emma didn’t seem taken aback by this, but I couldn’t help but wonder if it was because of what that person had said—that we were with the triquetra. Surely, the workers here didn’t know what happened in the arena.
“What is the triquetra?” I asked as I slipped into the booth. Max went under the table and lay down at my feet.
“Kage, Rainor, and Weylin,” she said right away. “Most of our generation, and the generation before them, have called the three of them that since they were kids. They have a connection. No one knows what it is, exactly, but shifters from all over—not just our pack—believe it makes them stronger. Even the council doesn’t cross them.
“The triquetra is actually a Celtic symbol. It has many meanings, but the older generation called them that because, for us, it represents unity, protection, and eternity.”
“This sounds like we are going to need some drinks. What do you want? My treat.”
Emma opted for wine, so I decided to get a glass as well, although wine always hit me a little harder than beer. I hadn’t eaten, and after the fight in the arena, I was starving, so I also put in an order for an appetizer platter. I went to pay for the order, but the bartender declined my cash, citing something about being with the triquetra and that Kage took care of the bill. Instead of arguing, I upped our order from glasses of wine to the entire bottle and walked back to the table with it. It was Kage’s fault we needed a drink; I was sure he could handle it.
Emma’s eyes widened when she saw it, but she was adorable as she held her glass for me to pour, like a kid getting a handful of candy.
“Okay, start dishing the deets,” I said. “Have you known the troublesome trio since childhood?”
She was nervous at first.
“Em, please help a girl out. Apparently, I’m their mate, and I have no idea what I’ve gotten myself into.”
Finally, she had pity on me. “Okay, fine. But sit over here.”
I moved from my side of the table and sat next to her. Emma leaned in close to me.
“I come from a different pack,” she began, “but everyone knew of the triquetra. It started the year Weylin was adopted into their pack. The only reason it was announced was because they were actively searching for him. I remember the Cridhe Pack alpha coming through our territory with Kage. Even though I was only four then, it was a big deal. The whole pack worked to clean up our territory, and our alpha threw a ton of money into everyone’s home to make everything look nice. But when their alpha only searched the orphanage and left the same day, our alpha was pissed.
“Anyway, Weylin was found a few days later at an orphanage on packless territories.”
“Wait.” I frowned. “What were they looking for? Just a kid who was compatible?”
“No, the link. Haven’t they told you yet?” I shook my head. “The three of them have a pack link, the internal communication, but they are able to carry it on in human form. No such thing has ever been heard of before. Rainor and Kage could hear Weylin, but they couldn’t locate him, so there was a massive search put on for him.”
I fucking knew it. “I’ve seen them do it, talk to one another around me.”
“Oh yeah, they do it all the time when I’m in the room and they don’t want me to overhear. Sometimes I wonder if they know they get blank faces when they do it.”
I laughed. “They totally do! Like they are zoned out or thinking really hard about something.” The food arrived then, three times the amount that I had expected. “Oops, I just ordered the one platter.”
Emma smiled. “When you order food in shifter-heavy establishments, be prepared for large portions.”
“Please, have some,” I said, bringing the platter closer to the both of us.
She hesitated, her eyes darting around, biting her lip. It broke my heart because Emma was such a nice person. Finally, she took a French fry and began nibbling on it. “Anyway, once they were together, I heard there were some tests, but primarily it was the council that started the whole triquetra thing. As if Cridhe Pack wasn’t the golden child already. It was easy for the packs to hate them. Easier still for them to send assassins.”
“Assassins? To kill children?” I asked. “How old were they when they found Weylin?”
“Eleven, but this is the way of the shifter world. Regardless of being children, they were a threat. One thing you will learn—threats aren’t taken lightly.” She reached for another fry.
That reminded me of the challenge today. “Like what happened to Clark,” I said. “They exiled him.” She looked saddened for a moment. “Do you know him? He was a black wolf with white paws.”
She shook her head. “Sorry. I don’t go down to the basement often.”
“Do you think there would be a way you could find him for me?”
“I can try.” She took out her phone, bringing up a memo app. “What do you want to know?”
“If I could just get his contact information…”
She hummed to herself for a moment as she wrote herself a reminder. “I might not have access.” She paused, looking as if she wanted to say something but was holding back.
“What is it?” I gently encouraged her, making sure not to demand information from her or push her to say something that made her nervous.
“It’s just, he was exiled. Usually, if that happens, which is unheard of, because Kage doesn’t let people he deems as threats just walk away, but if it does happen…well, he will be stripped of everything. He will be lucky to walk off the territory with the clothes on his back. Exiled wolves tend to go rogue, which will make it nearly impossible to find him.”
I deflated, guilt settling in. I had cost this man his job, family, and home. All for what? I took a large gulp of wine.
“It could’ve been worse,” Emma said in a small voice.
“His choice was death or exile. The more I hear, the more I wonder if he would’ve preferred death. This whole thing is corrupt. The task force, the ranks, the territory. There’s no order or reasoning.”
“I know it doesn’t seem like it, but Kage keeps the order. I don’t think he has an off switch when it comes to running the pack.”
“You can’t tell me he’s not corrupt.”
She was thoughtful for a moment. “Corrupt…no. He’s fairly upfront with everything, and the pack will always come first to him.” She took a drink of her wine before shuffling a little closer to me. “What was it like living with humans?”
I shrugged. “Uneventful. I had a normal childhood, other than wolfing out and hiding that part of me.” I put an elbow on the table, resting my head on my hand. “What was it like living with shifters?”
“Normal, for a shifter, I guess. I was fortunate enough that our pack has schools for shifters, so I didn’t have to worry about wolfing out in front of human.” She smiled at my terminology. Emma started telling me about school on pack territory, though it sounded more like boarding school, and that lead to questions about her home life. I didn’t mean to interrogate her, but I was starting to understand her personality a bit more now. Maybe it didn’t have anything to do with Kage.
She was raised in one of the main clans in her pack, though that didn’t mean she had any allowances. She was prim and proper, taught all the ways to be the perfect mate to a worthy alpha. While Kage was trained at a young age to be a leader, she was trained to be a breeder, to complete mate duties and never question anything an alpha said. I felt sick for her. It didn’t feel right and it wasn’t. When she became part of Cridhe Pack a year ago, she learned they didn’t follow the same customs. She was working on relearning different parts of herself.
We toasted to that.
To lighten the mood, I told her stories about being a wolf in a human world. There were a lot of funny mishaps as a child, many of which happened in kindergarten, though the teenage years were the best. The bottle of wine became more and more empty as we laughed our way through my awkward years.
Emma was grinning ear to ear when I told her about my fangs extending mid-makeout session with a boy I really liked. “Wolves have canines, not fangs.” She giggled. “Wow, I never thought of all the things that would be hard to explain. How did you make it through your heat cycles? Do humans respond the same way as male shifters? I don’t think they can satisfy the pain. How did you get through it?”
I sighed. “I’ve never had a heat cycle. I think I’m broken”
She sighed. “You’re not broken. That’s completely normal.”
“Wait, what?”
“Did the troublesome trio not tell you?”
I smiled at the fact she used my nickname for them instead of the triquetra. “No, I’m pretty sure they think I’m broken too. Kage called me sickly.”
She rolled her eyes. “That’s because all he can do when he sees a shifter, male or female, is categorize them to see where they would be most beneficial for the pack. Breeders tend to have nicely set hips and a good extra layer of body fat. Newsflash, not everyone fits into boxes.” Emma shook her head. “I should’ve known they wouldn’t be able to explain anything to you, since it’s not like they know themselves. It’s very normal for some female shifters to not come into heat at all until they are in the presence of their mate or someone their wolf deems worthy enough to be their mate. Just another way evolution ensures survival of the bloodlines. ” She wrinkled her nose with the last word.
I slid the now-empty bottle of wine away. “Okay, I think that’s enough for you.” I cringed, looking around to make sure no one had overheard us. Not me corrupting anyone over here.
“It’s true, though. It’s all anyone cares about. Why couldn’t I follow my dream and be a detective?”
“You wanted to be a detective?”
“No, but I like photography.” A contented smile rested on her lips, making me feel lucky that she’d shared that with me. Beyond the anxious, quiet girl was a hidden photographer.
“Emma, if my heat does start sometime soon, what should I expect?”
“Oh, it's horrible. Absolutely dreadful. Males complain all the time about challenging one another and competing for higher ranks. Yeah, well, I’d like to see them experience even an ounce of the pain and need we feel during that time. So much so that many of us ask for drugs to help us sleep through it. Seriously, the doctors will put us in a five-day coma.”
“Five days?”
“Well, it depends how long your heat lasts for. Some are lucky, and it’s only a couple days. I have a whole book on it that I can send to you.”
“Please.” I tried to keep the shock from my voice, though I wasn’t sure who I was fooling. Definitely not Emma.
She put her hand on mine in support. “I heard that, once you’re claimed, the heats get easier. It’s like your body knows you have a shifter male to help you through it.”
“Thanks, but I guess that’s not for me. They aren’t going to claim me.”
Her hand slipped away, a frown playing over her mouth. “What? What do you mean?”
“The impression I got was that Kage ordered it, so the others agreed. I mean, I get it. I don’t want them to claim me, either. It’s just, I wish I could tell my wolf that.”
“But you’re a fated mate!”
“Fated mate or not, I’ve known the guys a week.” Then it dawned on me. “Less than a week!”
“Acting on instincts, rather than human conventions, will do that. Have they been spending time with you?”
“Emma, did you not hear me? It’s been less than a week.” I clapped my hands together, emphasizing my words.
“Lila! Did you not hear me ? You are a shifter, not a human.” She clapped back, and I had to suppress a laugh. “Your wolf will always come—”
“First,” I said with a frown. “Weylin says the same thing.”
“That’s because it’s what we are taught. Honor the wolf first, it’s how you create balance.” Again, I felt myself wishing I knew my biological family. What if I was part of Emma’s pack? Would we have grown up together? Become childhood friends? Emma stared at me for a moment. “I’m sorry.”
Her tone knocked me out of my own thoughts. “For what?” I asked.
“If they aren’t going to claim you… If they haven’t been spending time with you… It sounds like Kage might be getting ready to reject you.” Her eyes appeared as if they were about to start filling with tears. “I know it doesn’t sound bad to you, but in our community, it is bad. It hurts, mentally and physically.”
I may not know the reason behind it, but something inside of me understood it, because I had already felt it. Each time it was mentioned that I wouldn’t be claimed, my wolf whimpered. The human in me just kept choosing to ignore her. “Why are you sorry? It’s not your fault. I’m not from some bloodline or anything, like they seem to be looking for. That’s likely the real reason.”
“Because I’m-”
I smelled Kage before I heard him, his scent wrapping around me, causing my heart to pick up its pace. A warm pulse filled my body, something that normally took physical touch from them to create.
“She’s my luna,” Kage finished for Emma.
Emma’s face went pale. “Alpha,” she whispered.
I didn’t fully understand the words he’d used, but the way they were used left little room for speculation. Emma was a mate he had chosen. The heat turned to ice and my wolf cried out. All the while, Kage watched me, his eyes taking in my every reaction, waiting for me to do something.
“Emma,” I said, allowing my human to compose myself. “I’m the one who’s sorry.”
Emma was a good friend. Over the hour or so we’d been here, that’s what we had become. She was kind, sweet, and gentle.
“What?” she breathed. “You’re not mad?”
“God, no! You’re amazing for putting up with him. If ever you need an escape, you can always come to my place.”
I meant it, every single word. She deserved better than Kage Cridhe.