Abraxas's Kismet (Sentinels of Apollo Book 1)

Cerys Chapter 6

My hurt over how Brax acted on Saturday hadn’t abated. I tried to shake it, but resentment kept bubbling up, causing me to stay angry. When I returned to Needles, I stopped at home and quickly told Twyla the basics of what happened. Something told me that Brax might not listen to my note. Although, I might be delusional, and he’d never want to speak to me again. It was Twyla who told me to make myself scarce. According to her, he needed to sweat. I was miserable and upset enough to do it. She warned me not to stay with any of my friends. They would be the first places he’d look.

She told me she had a place for me. One of her friends, LeeLee, had a small cabin outside town. She called her to ask if I could use it. LeeLee was more than happy to have me stay and told Twyla where I could find the spare key. While I went there, after packing some things, Twyla returned my car to the car rental drop-off.

I heard from Norah and Denise after Brax asked where I was that he tried to find Millie and Julia’s addresses. I should’ve been encouraged that he’d followed me back, but again, my hurt feelings overrode it. I didn’t tell them where I was staying just to keep them out of the middle of it.

After a long, restless night, I got up and sat staring blindly outside, lost in my thoughts. Sunday morning, I checked in with Twyla. She told me Brax was sitting outside in his truck watching the house. I wanted to tell her to call the cops, but what good would it do when he was one? Instead, I told her to tell him to get lost. She laughed and said she would. She advised me to stay away as long as I wanted.

After hanging up, I thought of Monday. I was supposed to be back to work. Not wanting to face Brax if I went home or to act normal around my coworkers and have them ask how my weekend went, I did something I never did. I called my supervisor and told her I had to call off. I fibbed and said I wasn’t feeling well. She wasn’t thrilled, but I’d given her ample time to find a replacement. It was time for everyone who called off all the time to step up. I’d never missed a day since I started. I was feeling resentful. She wished me a speedy recovery, but I knew it was for selfish reasons.

Sunday had been a long day. I mostly wallowed and tried to get myself straightened up. I was now on day two of my self-imposed isolation. Last night, I talked to Twyla, who told me she spoke to Brax. She thought I should know that he seemed genuinely remorseful and wanted to make things right between us. However, she advised me to stay away longer. Since I wasn’t looking forward to seeing him, it was easy to agree.

I knew I couldn’t stay gone much longer. Tomorrow I’ll need to go to work. One day of a pity party was one thing, but not two. I decided to stay tonight and go to work from here. I had a set of scrubs with me. Twyla had wisely sent me off on Saturday with a few sets of them.

Denise called me on her lunch break. Recalling the call made me upset and satisfied in equal parts.

“ Girl, I said I wouldn’t ask, but I’m dying. I want you to know, when you’re ready, tell me what went wrong this weekend. First, everyone at work is whispering and asking me if you’re alright. You’ve never called off. I told them you’d be back soon. I didn’t know what else to say. But that’s not why I called. Early this morning, Mr. Burly and Surly came marching into the ER. He demanded to see you. He demanded to talk to me when he was told you called off.

“Oh my God, I’m sorry, Denise. I didn’t mean for you to get caught in the middle of this.”

“Hey, don’t apologize. Brax seemed frantic to talk to you. The man almost begged me to call and tell you to come home. Are you going to forgive him for whatever he did, or should I not ask?”

“Denise, I don’t know what I’m going to do. I’m still upset and trying not to make decisions while I am.”

“Say no more. If you need someone to talk to, let me know. I hate to run, but my lunch break is almost over. Are you coming in tomorrow?”

“Yes, I’ll be there.”

“Good. I hate working without you. Later. Love ya.”

“Later, love you, too.”

That conversation was several hours ago. Knowing I couldn’t remain cooped up any longer, and despite the heat, I slathered on sunblock, got a large container of water, and put on a hat and a light long-sleeved shirt. I’d go for a walk. When I got back, I’d shower and fix some dinner. Hopefully, I’ll sleep tonight. Working exhausted wouldn’t be fun or safe.

The sun was hot. I probably should’ve stayed inside, but I was going stir-crazy. I tried to watch television and read to no avail. I couldn’t seem to concentrate worth a damn. Twyla was out with friends this evening, so I didn’t want to bug her. Denise just got off work and needed to unwind. Millie would be busy with Faith. Norah and Julia were likely doing their things. Loneliness engulfed me.

After walking aimlessly for a while, I found a boulder that provided shade. After ensuring no snakes, scorpions, or tarantulas hid there, I sat down. I could handle birds, rabbits, mice, and such, but not slithery or crawly things. Even if they weren’t deadly, they made my skin crawl. After taking several deep sips of my water, I lay back my head and closed my eyes. Most people assume the desert is quiet, but if you listen, you can hear sounds—the wind, the screech of a hawk, the faint scampering of what I thought was a lizard’s feet. I concentrated on them. My body grew heavy as a sense of peace filled me.

I jerked awake. It had gotten darker. I had no idea how long I’d been asleep or what woke me up. I strained my ears. There was a faint rustling coming from the left. There were a few trees in that direction. I stretched. My body was stiff, so I stumbled when I came to my feet. I was righting myself when a sixth sense made me look up and over. When I did, I stifled a scream. Standing there staring at me was a wolf. It was covered head to toe in dark fur with a small amount of white on his throat and lower jaw. I couldn’t tell if it was black or dark brown. He or she was staring intently at me.

My heart sped up. How stupid! I came out here and didn’t bring a gun. I knew there were dangerous creatures out here. To go without a way to protect yourself was asking for trouble. If I told Twyla what I had done, she’d never let me live it down. I slowly backed up a step, then another. I hastily checked the ground for a stick or something to defend myself with. When I glanced up, it was gone.

I sagged against the rock in relief, but I didn’t lean there long. It might come back with friends. I needed to get my ass out of here while I could. Picking up my water, I headed toward the cabin. However, as I hurried along, I began to think I was going the wrong way. I hadn’t been watching where I was going very carefully. Now, everything either looked strange or the same. Shit! I had my phone with me, but what good would it do me if I couldn’t tell someone where I was? Berating myself, I kept going. Maybe it would begin to look familiar if I went a little further.

I screamed when a dark shape emerged from behind a large granite boulder. I stumbled backward and tripped. As I landed on my ass, I heard a familiar voice call out to me.

“Shit, Cerys, it’s me, Brax.”

I sat there staring up with my mouth hanging open. The man who’d had me in knots for three days was striding toward me. I grabbed a fistful of sand and threw it at him. “Goddamn, you! You scared the hell out of me, Brax. What are you doing out here?” I yelled. I scrambled to my feet. As I beat sand off my ass, I glared at him.

“I was out walking. I saw movement, so I came to see what it was. I didn’t mean to scare you. Are you alright?”

“I’m fine. Excuse me,” I said. I tried to go wide to get around him. His following words halted me.

“You’re going the wrong way.”

“How do you know? You don’t know where I’m staying,” I snarked.

“I don’t, but I know there are no houses in that direction.”

I let a tiny growl of frustration sneak out. Knowing I had no choice but to ask, I clenched my hands. “Since you know this area so well, mind telling me which way does lead to civilization? I need to get back. It’s late. I have a lot to do to get ready for work tomorrow.”

“I’ll do you one better. I’ll walk you back. It’s not safe to be out here alone. It’s getting dark. The wild things will come out soon. You’d make a tasty morsel.” I swear there was a twist to his lips as if he was amused.

Refusing to respond, I waved my hand. He came to me, fell in step next to me, then pointed to the left. “This way.”

I corrected my course. We walked for several minutes before he said anything else. “I know you’re pissed at me. I get it. But we need to talk about what happened, Cerys. You can’t ignore me. We need to work this out.”

I bit my tongue. I wasn’t ready for this. I took a few more steps before he grabbed my wrist and turned me toward him. I tugged to get loose, but he held on. He wasn’t hurting me, but there was no way to break his hold easily. When I realized that, I glared up at him. God, why did he have to look so good? Even as upset as I was, he still affected me.

I fought not to shiver when his thumb rubbed over the pulse in my wrist. “Please, Cerys, talk to me.”

“When I wanted to talk, Brax, you walked out and left me alone in that hotel room. You didn’t care what I felt or if I needed you. All you were concerned with was your bruised ego or whatever it was. Well, I don’t feel like talking now.”

“I know, and I’m so goddamn sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. I came back to talk, but you were gone. It’s been over forty-eight hours. I’m dying, Astéri mou .” He gave me a beseeching look. I fought not to give in. If I did, what was to keep him from doing it again?

“Don’t call me that. You hurt me, Brax. Saying you’re sorry and calling me my star isn’t enough.”

“Tell me what will be enough. Whatever it is, I’ll do it. Just don’t say we’re through, Cerys. I can handle anything but that. I love you. I can’t lose you.”

I gasped. If he’d said he loved me before this, I would’ve been jumping for joy, but he hadn’t. Why now? Did he think it would make me say all was forgiven? Was he trying to manipulate me? Plus, I’d had a man claim to love me before, and he still left me. Opening myself up only seemed to lead to pain. I stopped myself from telling him I loved him, too.

“Brax, I don’t know what will make it better, if anything will. As for saying you love me, I’ve heard that before. It still ended badly. I’m not sure if I believe in love, to be honest. Or at least not for me. I can’t deal with this or you right now. I can’t.”

Tears clouded my eyes. Seeing a path I did recognize, I took off running. He yelled my name, but I kept going. By the time I made it to LeeLee’s house, I was breathless and bawling. I had a heck of a time getting the door unlocked. When I got inside, I hastily locked it. I peeked out the window. There was no sign of Brax. I didn’t know if I was relieved or hurt. God, what should I do? Was I being too hard on him? That and more swirled in my head as I headed to the bathroom. I needed a shower.