Abraxas's Kismet (Sentinels of Apollo Book 1)

Brax Chapter 7

I wanted to go straight to the hospital first thing to see her, but work had other ideas. I technically worked eight-hour days, Monday through Friday, although I often got stuck working over. That was par for the course when you were a first responder or public servant. Sometimes, I’d also pick up a weekend day for someone else.

Everyone decided to start the week off with complaints and misbehaving. We got a shift report and then hit the streets. You’d think we’d stay quiet with a town of only five thousand permanent residents. Wrong. Some of it was due to the influx of tourists, but not all of it. We had our petty crimes like vandalism, tagging, and breaking windows, and the severe crimes of robbery, assault, and, unfortunately, the occasional rape. Murders were still rare, thank God, but they happened.

It started when an owner went to open his business this morning and found windows broken. Then, a call about a strange man lurking outside the grade school. They kept coming, and I was busy until almost lunchtime. I wasn’t the only deputy working, but sometimes, I had to back up my coworkers in addition to my calls. I had to fight not to let my impatience leak out with some of the delays.

However, hopefully, the delay wouldn’t mess up my first gesture. Cerys had told me how busy they got and how she was often tired and forgot to bring her lunch to work. I’d scolded her for not taking better care of herself, although I was often guilty of the same thing. She shared how she usually didn’t take a break to eat until eight hours into her shift.

During our few weeks together, I learned a lot about her and her likes and dislikes. Food had been part of that. I did find time to place a call between my work calls to have an order ready for pickup. I informed dispatch that I was taking my lunch and swung by to pick it up. I knew it was too much to hope she’d eat with me, but I wanted to make sure she knew I cared about her.

We’d laughed that one of her favorite places was called Olives & Feta. It was a Greek restaurant. I’d teased her that it was a favorite because who could resist anything Greek? She blushed and laughed. She knew I was from the Corfu area of Greece. I got her pan-seared lamb chops, potatoes with lemon and garlic, Greek salad, and honey cake with orange and pistachios for dessert. I’d gotten myself the same thing.

Strolling into the ER, I tried to project the image I had nothing to worry about. Several pairs of eyes landed on me, and I saw the curiosity. I wondered if they knew I’d blown my weekend with Cerys. Or how many even knew we were going away to Vegas? She might’ve kept it quiet except for Norah and Denise. I scanned the area for Cerys, but I didn’t see her. I momentarily wondered if she called off again.

I spotted Norah. Hurrying over to her, I cornered her before she saw me. When she did, her eyes widened. I got right to it and ensured my voice was soft as I asked, “Hello, Norah. Can you tell me where Cerys is? She’s working today, I hope.”

“D-Deputy Christou, what a surprise. Uhm, yeah, she’s working, but she’s with a patient right now. What can I do for you?”

“Norah, call me Brax. If she’s busy, I can wait. I brought her lunch. Has she eaten?”

She shook her head, saying, “No, we’ve been busy all shift. I don’t want to jinx it. I can take it and see that she gets it when she’s done,” she offered.

“No offense, but I have to give it to her. I know you’re aware I fucked up this past weekend. I’m redeeming myself. This food is the first step to doing that. I can’t have astéri mou not taking care of herself. She does for everyone else and never for herself. I intend to stop that,” I stated boldly.

Norah leaned closer to whisper. “Brax, she’s not ready to see you. She hasn’t told me everything that happened, but I know she’s hurt and peeved at you. Maybe you should stay away until she says she wants to talk to you.”

“Norah, I can’t do that. I won’t force her to talk to me, but I have to be able to have glimpses of her, ensure she’s okay, and take care of her. Surely, you understand that. I know Sam is the same way with you. Haven’t you ever argued or gotten mad at each other? You find a way to work it out. Cerys and I will do the same.”

She was slow to respond. “We have, and we do, but we’re married and in a different place than you and Cerys.”

“True, but you weren’t always. I love Cerys, and I plan to marry her one day. Please let her know I’m here and won’t leave until I give her this food.”

Norah gave me a thoughtful scan before she nodded and walked away. I stayed out of the way as staff rushed here and there. I saw more than a few staring at me and whispering. I ignored them. I was about to call it since I needed to return to work soon when Cerys marched toward me. She wore a determined expression. I put my best smile on and held up the bag.

“I brought you lunch.”

She reached me, grabbed my arm, and tugged on me. I followed her. We ended up outside a supply closet. It was one we’d snuck in more than once for a kiss. I ached to do it again.

“What are you doing here?” she hissed.

“I just told you, and I’m sure Norah did, too. I brought you lunch. You rarely pack one, and going without isn’t good for you, Cerys. I heard it’s been busy. I can imagine you’re tired and hungry. I am. I’ve been working nonstop since I clocked in.”

“Brax, I don’t need you to bring me food. I told you I can’t deal with this right now.”

“You did, and I’m not asking you to deal with us. I only need you not to shut me out completely. Once you’re ready, we’ll talk and work this out. But you need to know I’m not giving up on us. I made a terrible mistake. One I’ll make up for. Taking care of the woman I love isn’t a chore. It’s my privilege and duty. You may not want to hear me say it, but it’s true. I love you, and it’s not changing. Now, I know you have to get back to work, and so do I. Eat and take care, astéri mou .”

As much as it hurt not to do it, I handed her the bag and walked off without another word or kiss. I could feel her eyes boring into my back as I left. I smiled, nodded, and greeted the staff I knew as I left. In my patrol car, I lay my head on my steering wheel and took deep breaths. This waiting was going to be more challenging than I thought. I hoped I could stay strong.

As I drove out of the parking lot, I remembered what the guys said last night. They kept stressing that I keep myself in her mind but in good ways. I had to crowd out the negative memories and thoughts with positive ones. And I needed to demonstrate to everyone around her how much I cared for her. I’d shout it from the rooftops if it did any good. Cerys Morgan was mine, and I intended to keep her forever.

Five days of me coming up with ways to be near Cerys daily, even if only for a few minutes. Five days of showing her in various ways, I cared for and loved her. It was torturous to be so near her and not be able to touch or kiss her, not to snuggle up and talk to her or make love with her. However, the alternative would be worse. I knew I’d have lost my mind if I didn’t have those brief glimpses or words with her. She’d gone from someone I looked forward to seeing to the one person I had to see.

I brought her food all three days she worked. If there was a need for a sheriff to be at the hospital, I did it. I had flowers delivered to her at home, but not the traditional ones. She and Twyla could plant these in the yard, and they wouldn’t die in a week. I noticed her car was dusty, so I had a mobile service go to the hospital to wash and wax it while she worked. There were other things. Anything I could think of to show I was thinking of her and cared.

While she wouldn’t answer me back, I sent her texts. I started the day by saying good morning and wishing her a great day, and I ended the day with one wishing her a good night. Sometimes, in between, if I had a funny story or whatever to share, I sent it. She wasn’t responding, but she didn’t block me.

I was growing restless. I knew I had to think of something bigger. It was Friday, and the long weekend loomed in front of me. When I got off work each day, I’d go for long runs and spend time in the gym pounding the bag, trying to tire myself out so that I could sleep. I was racking my brain to think of more I could do when it hit me.

It wasn’t something I wanted to do. It would take restraint not to make it into something negative, but it was for Cerys, not me. To accomplish it, I had to do a little research. Being a cop came in handy, and I found what I needed. I got off work late, so I hurried through a shower and a change of clothes before getting on my bike and heading out.

It was an hour-and-a-half ride to my destination. When I arrived, the bikes alone were enough of a giveaway. I knew I’d found the right place. In addition, several buildings and a tall fence topped with razor wire surrounding the perimeter told me I was most likely in the right place. There was a sign that read The Roost on one building. I wasn’t sure what that was. I saw more than a couple of guys in cuts milling about inside the fence.

I pulled up to the gate. The guy behind it eyed me suspiciously. I didn’t recognize him as one of the ones we’d met at the bike rally. I shut off my bike and sat at the gate.

“You need directions?” the one behind the fence asked.

“No, I have the right place by the looks of your cut. I’m here to see one of your members, Heron,” I informed him.

“Is he expecting you?”

“Nope. I didn’t have a way to contact him. Let him know Brax is here to see him. Cerys’ man. We need to talk.”

“Cerys? I don’t know anyone by that name.”

My patience wasn’t at its best, so my following remark was short. “You might not, but he does. Get his ass. I’ve worked a long week and rode from Needles to see him. I’m not leaving until I do.”

“Your ass can be carried off,” he smarted back.

I was about to threaten him when I heard a voice I recognized yelling, “Goose, open the goddamn gate and let Brax in. What’re you waiting for?” Hawk yelled. He was coming in our direction. The one he called Goose gave me a disgruntled look before he answered.

“Sorry, Hawk. I didn’t know him, so I wasn’t sure if I should let him in. He says he’s here to see Heron.”

“Prospect, if you don’t know someone, then ask someone. Or better yet, contact the one the person is asking for to see if it’s okay. Open the gate. How’s it going, Brax? We thought we might see more of you last weekend.”

“It’s been kinda crazy, Hawk. Sorry, we ended up having to leave. I hate coming unannounced, but I didn’t have Heron’s number. It’s important I speak to him.”

As the gate began to open, I restarted my bike and glided through the opening. I followed Hawk’s gesture and parked at the end of the line of bikes outside the building with the sign on it. As I got off, he slapped my shoulder. I noticed a swarm of crows circling the area and resting on the rooftops like they had in Vegas. What was up with that?

“Welcome to The Roost. Come inside. Everyone is beginning to chill for the weekend. I’ll find Heron for you,” Hawk offered.

Giving him a chin lift in response, I let him lead me into the building. It was rather full, and there was the loud chatter of voices and the smell of cigarettes, marijuana, perfume, and alcohol. I saw there was a mix of women and men. Callie, Hawk’s woman, saw us and waved. I nodded and smiled back at her.

I was checking everything out when Hawk yelled, “Hey, Heron, you’ve got a visitor. Get over here.”

Following his gaze, I saw Heron across the room. Rebel was with him. They both saw Hawk pointing at me. There was surprise and maybe some apprehension on both faces. I didn’t blame them. I’d feel the same in their shoes. I fought my need to bare my teeth and growl at seeing him. Nightstalker hated that Heron had touched Cerys as much as I did. However, tearing off his head wouldn’t solve my problem.

They slowly made their way to us. Heron gave me a hesitant smile as he held out his hand. I shook it. “Hi. This is a surprise. What can I do for ya?” Heron asked cautiously.

“Hi, Heron. Hello, Rebel. I know this is unexpected. I’m sorry. I had no phone number to call you, and I’d like to talk to you alone.”

I sensed his tension increase while Rebel’s worry spiked. I was about to assure them I wasn’t there to cause trouble when he shrugged.

“Sure, follow me. Spark, stay here. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

He placed a tender kiss on her mouth and then walked off. I trailed after him. More greetings were called out from those I’d met. All gave me questioning glances. I was taken into an empty bedroom. He pointed to the chair by the door. He sat on the edge of the bed.

“What brings you here, Brax? I get the feeling it’s not a social call. Where’s Cerys?”

“You’re right. It’s not exactly a social call. As for Cerys, she’s back in Needles, as far as I know. She’s not with me because she and I are having trouble at the moment. I’m hoping you can help me with that,” I informed him gruffly. I hated to admit that my woman and I were at odds, especially to him, but there was no room for evasion.

“Shit, it’s because of me, isn’t it? The reason she’s not with you. I knew she was shaken when we ran into each other. I was surprised to see her. I would’ve never imagined Cerys at a bike rally. I won’t lie. Rebel and I got into it, and she’s been off. What is it you think I can do?”

“I haven’t talked to Cerys much about the two of you. She told me the basics of it. Twyla told me essentially the same thing. I know the two of you parted on less-than-ideal terms after your dad died.”

“Good ole Twyla. I miss her. She was always good to me. And yes, Cerys and I did part in a less-than-nice way. A lot was going on back then. Don’t take this the wrong way, Brax, but I don’t feel right talking about my past with Cerys with you. It’s something she should do.”

“And I agree if she would, but I let that past make me act like an asshole to her. I voiced concern that she still has feelings for you. I hope you can see how that would throw a guy off. To know the woman he’s with, who he loves, might have unresolved feelings for a past boyfriend.” I stopped. I couldn’t say more.

Before I was half done, he was shaking his head. When I went quiet, he spoke. “Brax, I can assure you, Cerys doesn’t have any of those feelings for me. I hurt her badly with how we parted. I regret the fuck out of it. When I saw her at the rally, I hoped to get a chance to talk to her and apologize, but we never ran into each other again. Cerys still has resentment, or whatever you call it, about how we ended it. Undoubtedly, she’d love to tell me off, but she doesn’t still love me. She loves you,” Heron said confidently.

“How can you say that with so much confidence? I want to believe it, but there’s the ever-slightest unease of what if I’m wrong? I agree she needs closure. I’m working to get her to forgive me for what I said and did in Vegas. I think bringing the two of you together to get closure would be a way to do that. I hoped you’d be willing to come to Needles and talk to her.”

He sat there in silence. I was growing nervous when he answered me. “Let’s lay it out, why don’t we? I can sense there’s more to you than is visible to the eye. I bet you can sense the same about me. My otherness comes with the ability to sense the emotions of people. That’s how I know Cerys no longer has romantic feelings for me and that she loves you.”

He was careful not to share what he was. I didn’t blame him, even though I wanted to know badly. Was it possible he was the same as Nico? I didn’t think so. Each species gave off a different vibe to me. He and the other Devil’s Murder guys gave off one I hadn’t encountered. When you were like us, you couldn’t be too cautious about who you told your secrets.

“Thank you for telling me that. I’m not trying to cause trouble or impose, but I think it would do her good and probably you. Will you do it?”

“I will. I agree. It’s long overdue. I was too angry and rebellious back then to tell her what was happening. I’ve grown since then. She deserves to know. When would you like me to come?”

“The sooner, the better. I’d say this weekend, but you probably have plans, so would it be possible next weekend? She works Monday through Wednesday at the ER doing twelve-hour shifts. Any day that’s not one of those should do it. I’ll see if Twyla can ensure she doesn’t pick up an extra shift or make other plans.”

“Let me check with Rebel about this weekend. Even though I’ll talk to Cerys alone, I’d like to bring Rebel.”

“No worries. I can keep her company or something while you meet. Why don’t we exchange numbers so we can coordinate? Thanks, Heron. You don’t know what this means to me.” I stood and walked closer so I could offer my hand. He got up and took it. As we shook, he added something else.

“I can guess. And Brax, I want you to know that while I did love Cerys, it was long ago. Rebel is my future. I’m no threat to yours with Cerys. We both have the one meant for us.”

I grinned as some of my tension eased. After quickly exchanging phone numbers, he walked me back to the main area. He invited me to have one drink with them before I left. I accepted. I was introduced to those I hadn’t met as I sat there. In addition to Heron and Hawk, Crow, Raven, Talon, Carrion, Claw, Swift, Jay, Eagle Eye, Falcon, and Cuckoo were patched members. Their prospects were Goose and Robin. I found their bird road names entertaining.

It was over an hour before I said goodbye and got on the road back to Needles. I had to contact Twyla in the morning to arrange for Cerys to be unbusy. Once that was done, I’d let Heron know, and he and Rebel would come our way. I prayed I was doing the right thing. The last thing I wanted was to hurt Cerys more than I already had.