15.
S ANDI
“Hey, baby,” Ajax murmured when I leaned over to give him a goodbye kiss. He opened one eye and asked, “What the fuck are you doing up so early? The sun’s not even up yet.”
“My shift starts at six.”
“In the morning?” Ajax murmured incredulously. “That’s so wrong.”
He was already asleep again before I could reply, and I smiled as I left the bedroom to go get my first cup of coffee. No, I didn’t have to be up quite this early, but I wanted to have some time alone to complete the same pep talk I gave myself before the first shift of every new job.
It wasn’t that I was worried about other people’s opinions of me - I could give a rat's ass if I was liked or not. However, I was very proud of my reputation as a nurse and cared about that deeply. That meant that before I started each assignment, I got a little nervous because I’d be going into mostly uncharted territory.
I’d had enough surprises during my profession to understand that there would always be some unknowns with every job. We’d even had a few “oh shit!” moments when I was working at Jewel’s practice. Between the hilarious antics of the children in her extended family and the random crazy cases from other patients, working there never got boring, which was what I loved about nursing.
The job I had signed up for here in New Orleans might be pushing those boundaries, even for me. I had worked in all sorts of clinics, hospitals, and private practices, but the position I’d been contracted to work at one of the local hospitals would be a new addition to my resume. Instead of working as a nurse who dealt with specific patients, I was going to be in charge of the triage unit at the emergency room. I definitely wouldn’t be bored.
Unfortunately, I was not going to be very well-liked by patients, considering that I would be the gatekeeper that either got them seen quickly or kept them in the waiting room for an extended period.
Considering how unpopular I was about to be, it was a damn good thing I didn’t care what people thought of me. Oddly enough, one of the main reasons I felt that way was why the nursing service had chosen me for this job. I wasn’t quite sure how they knew what had happened at the hospital in Detroit where I’d worked for my entire career and then retired from before I took this travel position, but I’d learned everything I knew there, including the lesson about watching my own back while taking care of the patients who needed me.
I shook off those thoughts because it depressed me to think of the people who I’d known forever and believed to be my friends and the way they’d abandoned me when all I really needed was someone that I could trust.
When I walked into the kitchen from the pantry, I wasn’t shocked to see Abigail drinking a cup of coffee at the bar. I’d found out over the last few days of living with her that she enjoyed the little bits of alone time she could get - one of which was the quiet time between Mackenzie’s pre-dawn feeding and when Charlotte sprang out of bed.
I had enjoyed spending so much time with the little ones, so much so that my sons were already sick of my hints about grandchildren. Of course, they were still way too young for that, and neither of them married. Not that marriage was a requirement for parenthood, anyway.
“Good morning,” I said quietly, mindful of the baby sleeping in the portable crib Ajax had picked out.
“You’re up early.”
“I like to have some quiet time before I go to work for the day,” I told her as I made myself the first of many cups I’d have today.
“So do I, but it’s been doing more harm than good lately.”
“Why do you say that?”
“It gives me uninterrupted time to think about what a clusterfuck my life has become and how in the world I’m going to dig myself out of the hole I allowed my ex to put me in.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve got no credit, no money, nothing substantial to sell or pawn, and two children to raise. The government has frozen his assets, so I wouldn’t have anything even if we were still together.”
“That sounds like the perfect opportunity to start fresh somewhere new. That’s what I did.” When Abigail looked at me in alarm, I said, “You have a very different reason for a refresh than I did. My life changed suddenly, and I realized I could either wallow in disappointment or find a new environment to see if it might hold the key to my happiness.”
“Divorce?” Abigail asked sadly.
I finished taking a sip of my coffee before I explained, “That was an aftereffect of the changes that happened. The shit hit the fan at the hospital where I worked, and I got caught up in it. It was my own fault, and I can admit that. I did what I thought was right, even though, in reality, it was very wrong.”
“What did you do?”
“I found out that two of my closest friends were involved in an insurance scam, and rather than rat them out, I covered for them after they assured me that they were doing everything they could to make it right.”
“And you got in trouble?”
“No. Well, yeah, but it didn’t stick. When the things they’d done came to light, they spun it and pinned everything on me and another nurse. Luckily, the other nurse was a plant, and she knew I was innocent.”
“Holy shit.”
“But being accused caused repercussions in every part of my life. Up was down, and down was up. The people I trusted betrayed me, and the man I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with didn’t defend me the way I thought he should. I became bitter. Thank God we had the good sense to split before we started to hate each other. In the process, we realized that we still loved each other just as much as we had when we got married, but we were better off apart than we had been together for the last few years. So, I decided to do what I’d always dreamed about and go on an adventure. I sold my share of the house to my husband, packed up the mementos and things that were important to me, put them in storage, and became a traveling nurse. As crazy as it seems, I haven’t regretted it for a single second and am almost thankful that everything happened the way it did because it forced me out of my comfort zone and opened my eyes.”
“You just left it all behind and found something new?”
I snapped my fingers and said, “Just like that.”
“I have a business degree.”
“Well, I suppose that’s a good start, but is working for someone else really what you want to do with your life?”
“What do you mean?”
“Use your degree to open something of your own.”
“Like what?”
I burst out laughing and asked, “How the hell would I know?”
Abigail was quiet for a second and then her eyes lit up before she said, “I’ve always dreamed of owning a bakery, but not just any bakery, you know? A specialty bakery that makes treats that people can eat without worrying too much about their health.”
“Is that even a thing?” I asked, as I tried very hard not to curl my lip in disgust.
Abigail laughed before she said, “Some people would appreciate my healthy baked goods enough to keep me in business as well as the customers that come in for the basic variety I’ll have that’s loaded with sugar.”
“It seems like you’ve already put a lot of thought into it.”
“My grandmother is diabetic and has been for years. She loves her sweets, so she learned how to make things she can have, in moderation, of course. I’ve enjoyed helping her come up with recipes and tweaking them until she and her friends give them the stamp of approval.”
“Hmm. That business degree of yours might just come in handy after all, don’t you think?”
“And I think I’m going to take a page out of your book and find a new place to start over. A place where no one knows me or who is . . . who was connected to me. Somewhere warm.”
“And maybe, once you get to this new destination to start over and give yourself time to adjust to your new normal and settle in, you’ll find someone to share your life with that will love those girls as much as you do.”
Abigail looked over at Mackenzie, who was still sleeping peacefully, and I saw tears fill her eyes before she whispered, “If there’s one thing I’ve learned through all of this, it’s that there’s a fine line between hope and delusion.”
I hated to see such a young woman so forlorn and hopeless, and reached across the counter to touch her arm. She looked over at me as I said, “Honey, when I got divorced, I swore to myself I’d never keep another man around for any length of time. I also said I wasn’t going to settle down anywhere until it was time for me to retire. You’ve been living in the same house with us for a week now, and I’m pretty sure you can feel our emotions toward each other. Even though the urge to kiss him is sometimes at war with the urge to strangle him, he’s everything I didn’t know I wanted and much more than I ever hoped for.” I took a sip of my coffee, and to lighten the mood, I added, “Hell, I’d stay with him just for his coffee machine and this apartment, even if I didn’t find him so damn sexy.”
“I’ll remind you of that in the heat of summer, when the humidity is three hundred percent.”
“The man said he’s got houses all over the place. Maybe he’s got one in the mountains where it’s cooler during the summer.”
“I can tell just by the look in his eyes when you’re near him that if he doesn’t already have a house like that, he’ll buy you one in a heartbeat.”
“That may be true, but that’s not why I . . . like him.”
Abigail giggled and said, “Like, huh?”
“I’m on my first cup. Don’t test me,” I said in my best angry mom voice. Abigail laughed again, and I said, “The thing is, I don’t need him to buy me a house. I just need him to get me. I need him to keep me on my toes and make me laugh. I’ll buy my own things. I just want him to have my back if and when I need him.”
“So you don’t get bitter.”
I nodded sadly and said, “Yeah. I can take care of myself just fine, but knowing that there’s someone by my side that will do it makes all the difference.”
“I’ll put that on my list of things to look for in a man when I start dating in forty or fifty years.”
“You’re gonna wait that long, huh?”
“I’ll be a little more realistic and say thirty-five.”
I finished off the last of my coffee and sighed before I said, “As much as I’d love to sit here and chat, I’ve gotta go to work.”
“He’d probably be more than happy to not just buy you that house in the mountains, but to make sure you never have to work again.”
“One thing I learned when I was married is that there is such a thing as too much togetherness,” I said sagely. “That creates the need for a good alibi and a backhoe.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
◆◆◆
“Thank you so much for joining us. I know there are plenty of choices when it comes to choosing your contracts,” the HR director said as she escorted me down the hall toward the bank of elevators that would take us to the floor where I’d be working. “When I called your references, they had nothing but glowing things to say, so I’m glad you decided to accept this assignment. I asked for input from the nursing director in the long-term care center, and she almost jumped for joy when she saw your resume. She and I hope that you might consider staying permanently after your contract ends. If you have any questions about that, just come by and I’ll answer every one of them.”
Six months ago, I wouldn’t have even considered her offer, but it now filled me with something I hadn’t felt in a while . . . not since I finally decided to give Ajax a chance rather than fighting him at every turn when he mentioned a future together. That feeling was hope, something I didn’t really put much stock in, but then I thought of this morning’s conversation with Abigail and knew I was doing exactly what I’d warned her against.
I wasn’t quite sure I was ready to commit to the hospital permanently, but Ajax was wearing me down like water on a rock. Slowly but surely, he was making me think that there could be a future between us, however that might look since his job took him all over the place for weeks or months at a time from what I’d gathered.
“Let’s cross that bridge when we come to it,” I said cheerfully when I realized the HR director was waiting for me to reply. When she didn’t respond, I asked, “I’ll be working in the emergency room?”
“Yes! You’ll be directing triage. We’ve got some very good staff there, but they don’t have nearly enough experience to coordinate such an important part of emergency care. That’s why we were so excited when we saw your resume.”
“And this is just a temporary position?”
“I’d like for it not to be, but we didn’t have much choice when we contacted your service, since you are listed as temporary only and not temp to hire.”
“So, you took a shot in the hopes that I might fall in love with the place and decide to stay?”
“Something like that,” she answered with a grin. The elevator doors opened, and she said, “I can’t wait to introduce you to the staff. You’re going to love them.”
I thought about how much I’d loved the people I worked with before. I doubted that I’d give these co-workers a chance after my experiences, but decided to at least try to go into this with an open mind.
Apparently, miracles could happen. The fact that I was living with a gorgeous biker and possibly planning a future with him proved that.
◆◆◆
When I pulled into the garage, I was still on a high from the excitement of the day. I had assimilated into the staff easily, much easier than I ever had at any other position, and that made the workday fly by. I wasn’t surprised that there wasn’t a lull throughout the day, considering the size of New Orleans and the amount of foot traffic around the hospital. However, my position gave me all the perks of being in the thick of things without really being in the thick of things.
I was the first line of defense when a patient came into the emergency room. I assessed their injuries or illness and then prioritized them according to their needs. Of course, that made me one of the most hated people in the hospital, especially when a drama queen wanted to be seen for something petty and I took in fifteen patients who needed care more than her, making her wait.
She’d caused a fuss, which had been quickly squashed by all four doctors on duty and the rest of the nurses.
To say that the support shocked me was an understatement. I was still reeling when my shift ended and the nurse who came in to relieve me greeted me with a fresh cup of coffee and a warm cookie. I chewed while I wondered when the other shoe would drop and things would go back to normal.
Of course, when I mentioned the sweet treatment, the other nurses seemed to think I was crazy not to expect it and assured me that their interest and excitement at having me was genuine. It seemed they liked surprising each other with treats often and hoped that I’d make it a point to reciprocate. I fully intended to make some homemade treats to share . . . just not right now.
Right now, I needed to get off my feet before they staged a formal protest. Later, I would cook dinner, eat it with everyone, and then get some snuggles from Charlotte and Mackenzie before I showered and went to bed so I would be ready for work tomorrow.
When I walked into the apartment and found Ajax in the kitchen, wearing an apron as he washed vegetables, I was shocked, but when he poured me a glass of wine from a bottle he’d been letting breathe and encouraged me to go get comfortable and even take a nap, you could have knocked me over with a feather.
He didn’t seem to realize how amazed I was at his behavior and gave me a sweet kiss before he explained that he needed to get the vegetables peeled and added to the roast he’d had cooking for a few hours before he got to work on making fresh bread to go with it all.
I walked up to the bedroom in a haze of disbelief, but did what I was told and got into the tub for a nice soak while I enjoyed my wine and caught up on my reading. Far be it from me to interrupt a man who wanted to cook me dinner. I might not be the brightest bulb on the string, but I was smart enough to not look that gift horse in the mouth.
Before my glass of wine was finished, I found myself slumped down under the bubbles with just my nose and eyeballs over the waterline while I thought about my day. Imagine my surprise when Ajax appeared, without his apron, and refilled my glass before he handed me a bottle of water and then sat down on the side of the tub and reached into the water to lift out my foot.
He started rubbing it, and while it was clear he was expecting me to say something, all I could do was moan in pleasure. After a long day, a nice glass of wine in a warm bubble bath and a foot rub were spectacular and enough to make me forget my own name, let alone how to speak in full sentences.
Without thinking, since I didn’t seem to have that ability right now anyway, I said, “You’re going to spoil me with this first day celebration stuff, Ajax. I might just start to expect it.”
“Why wouldn’t you? You’ve been working since the butt crack of dawn, Ratched. You need some downtime, and I’m damn sure not going to let you stay on your feet any longer than you need to when I’ve been home all day and can do all the shit that needs to be done.”
“Holy shit,” I whispered, mostly to myself.
“Now, I’m not sure what to do when I have to be gone for work, but . . .”
“I can take care of myself, honey.”
“You can, but you shouldn’t have to. That’s my job now.”
“It is?”
“I’d like for it to be. What would you like?” Ajax asked as he gently put my foot back in the water and picked up the other one to give it equal treatment.
“Everything. I want all of that.”
“Well, good because I can’t imagine what life without you around would be like, so I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure you stay.”
“You’re doing a fine job of that so far.”
“What else can I do to convince you?”
“Get naked and join me in this absurdly large tub.”
“That I can do!”