17.
S ANDI
“Are you okay with what happened last night?” Abigail asked when I came downstairs to make myself a cup of coffee.
Even though I didn’t have to be at work this morning, I liked to keep to my regular schedule on my days off, so I was downstairs with Abigail again while everyone else was still sleeping.
I finished entering the nuclear code that I’d memorized to make the perfect cup of coffee and then shrugged before I said, “I am curious about what happened to them, but then again, I’m not really sure that I care.”
“They were going to mug you. Honestly, that alley was dark enough that they could have done anything and no one would have seen it as long as they kept you quiet.”
“That’s true,” I agreed with a shudder. “I can’t imagine what would have happened if I’d been walking alone.”
“Ajax stepped up and handled business!”
“He sure did, and he was rewarded for that gallantry last night. After he’s had a little more sleep, I’ll wake him up and reward him again.” I laughed with Abigail and then asked, “What happened to you when all of that was going on?”
“Before I even realized what was happening, Fish picked me up and carried me across the street! Then another guy came out of nowhere and started following us. I was freaking out! When I told Fish, he just shrugged and said he was watching our backs and started walking back in the direction we came from!”
“From what I understand, two of the Ajax’s men were watching from a distance the entire time.”
“Yeah. Fish has been watching the building since I got here, so I think he was glad to be able to go out and relax over dinner.”
“And some dancing.”
The front door opened, and I was surprised to see Sarge walking in with a bag from a 24-hour pharmacy chain. I was even more surprised when he saluted me and then said, “Here’s what you needed, babe. I’ll see you in a bit,” before he walked back out.
“What was that about?”
“Charlotte has some teeth coming in, and I used the last of the Tylenol to help her with the pain.”
“And he went out to the pharmacy this early to get it for her?”
“Yeah,” Abigail said shyly. “He’s such a nice man. So is Toris. I feel so pampered with them taking care of us all the time. It’s crazy to me that I’m not more uncomfortable being trapped inside, but I know it’s because they’re so much fun to hang out with.”
“There are apparently going to be more of those big strong protectors showing up over the next few days.”
“Yeah. They’re going to have a meeting and decide how to handle me during the trial.”
“Are you getting nervous?” Abigail’s chin started to tremble as she nodded her head, and I saw tears fill her eyes. “Talk to me, honey.”
“It’s not the trial I’m worried about, it’s what I’m going to do when it’s over.”
“I know your father is the one that hired Ajax to help you. Can you stay with him until you . . .”
Abigail laughed bitterly before she said, “That came out of left field. I rarely ever talk to my father.”
“I assumed that you were close.”
“He’s a very driven man, and we’re as close as we could be, considering that he didn’t raise me. His mother did.”
“Your diabetic grandma. Does she live near him?”
“No.”
“Is she safe from your ex?”
“She is now. When they took me into protective custody, they did the same with her. There weren’t any problems at first, but after I disappeared, they had a security breach. Ajax thought that might mean my ex was going after her to get to me, so he had one of his men pick her up and take her somewhere safe.”
“So, where is she?”
“I don’t know. We made a pact to keep that information secret from each other just in case he got to us so we wouldn’t be able to give away anything about each other’s location.”
“But you still talk to her?”
“All the time.”
“That’s great. But you don’t talk to your father. Does she?”
“She does, but she feels the same way about him that I do. She’s admitted to me before that she’s not sure how he became the way he is now and she doesn’t understand him either.”
“So, they’re not close either?”
“No. I love my father, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t think I could ever live with him. He’s too structured and unbending. I’m not that way and don’t want my daughters to live in a house with a man like that.”
“So, they can know him, just not grow up around him?” I asked in confusion.
Abigail shrugged before she gave me a sheepish grin and said, “It worked for me.”
“I’m not sure what to say,” I told her with an uncomfortable laugh. “You clearly seem fine with it, so the usual ‘I’m sorry to hear that’ response doesn’t exactly fit.”
“I’m so fine with it that I let it affect my choice in men.”
I burst out laughing and said, “I’m glad you’re self-aware enough to realize that.”
“I’m not sure I’m ready to start dating, but being around all of you has made me realize just how lonely I’ve really been.”
“I assume, considering the amount of legal trouble he’s in, that living with your husband wasn’t exactly good for your mental health.”
“Oh! I haven’t lived with him since before I found out I was pregnant with Mackenzie.”
“Really?”
“She came out of left field, believe me! I thought I was sick from the stress of the breakup. Turns out I had a passenger while I was moving out.”
“So, it’s not like the divorce was a recent development.”
“Not at all.”
“Since you realized how lonely you’ve been, are you going to start dating again soon?”
“I don’t know if I’m quite there yet, but when I am, I’m going to approach dating like some people approach getting healthy.”
“I’m not sure I follow.”
“When they’re dieting, they eat snacks that are the opposite of what they want. Instead of ice cream with the toppings they crave, they have yogurt and granola. If I find a man I want to cover with caramel sauce and marshmallow fluff before I lick every inch off his body, I’m going to put him back on the shelf - untouched - and then go find myself a man that’s moderately appealing and much better for me.”
“I’m not sure that’s the right way to approach dating.”
“Do you have a better idea?”
“Why don’t you ask a friend to weed out the assholes and make your selection a little more . . . palatable?”
“I guess I pick my friends like I pick my men. They’re all so far up my husband’s ass that I can’t even get in touch with them using a bullhorn and a dive team.”
I burst out laughing and said, “Well, one thing about hanging out with Ajax and the guys is that you’ve got some friends for life now. A whole slew of big brothers. Let them help you.”
“Or I could just give up on dating and start collecting things.”
“I like the idea of letting the guys help you weed out the shitheads much better, don’t you?”
“Do you think they’re up for it?”
“I think they’d enjoy it a little too much.”
“Hmm,” Abigail hummed. “When they get here, I’m going to ask if they’d be willing to help me out.”
I thought about how I’d noticed the men looking at Abigail when she wasn’t paying attention and decided that they’d be more than willing. They’d probably have a death match downstairs in the garage to decide who got to be first in line. That might just make things more interesting, and it would definitely make her feel more loved than she had been in the past.
I laughed to myself when I realized that I’d become that person over the last few weeks. I went from “men are good for only one thing and need to butt out of my life” to playing matchmaker because I was head over heels for one of them.
Not that I was going to admit that out loud right now or anything, but it was obvious to me. I’d switched from the “I’m never dating again because I can’t find a decent man that I don’t want to kill” team to the “I’m never dating again because I found an incredible man that I still want to kill on occasion but have decided to let live because I like him more than coffee” team.
And I loved it.
◆◆◆
I knew better than to hand Ajax his coffee, especially when I saw that his hair was wet and he’d already showered. Of course, he knew I’d be coming up to wake him, so he was laying in bed looking at his phone, most likely checking his email to see if there were any prospective jobs coming up that he might like to look into.
“Mornin’, beautiful,” Ajax said as he set the phone down.
I set my coffee on the nightstand next to the one I brought up for him, then thought better of it and took one last sip before I abandoned it because I knew from experience it would be very cold by the time I got back to it. I took off my robe and tossed it onto the chair and then looked over at Ajax as I put one knee on the mattress to lean over and give him a kiss.
Ajax didn’t seem to care about his coffee, and the second my knee hit the bed, he flipped the covers away and then pulled me over him. I laughed as I relaxed against his body and then waited for my kiss that I’d been looking forward to since I woke up this morning.
Ajax didn’t disappoint, not that he ever did in the bedroom, something that I really appreciated as often as possible.
After my shower this morning, I got dressed knowing that I was going to wake Ajax up in the best way, so I had only been wearing a long T-shirt under my robe. Now that the robe was gone, there wasn’t much between us, and since I’d been imagining this exact scenario since I walked upstairs from the kitchen, I was more than ready and managed to fit him right at my entrance and slide down his length the second I straddled him.
Ajax blew out a long breath and moaned as my body stretched to fit his. I could tell that, for once in our relationship, I’d shocked him, which felt good because it was usually the other way around. Just to keep up that good feeling, I put my hands on his chest to push myself up so I could start moving in earnest rather than tease both of us. There was a time and place for that kind of lovemaking, and now wasn’t that time.
Ajax must have sensed my urgency because he smiled before he extended his arm toward the nightstand and fumbled to open the drawer. I knew exactly what he was going for and laughed, although I never stopped moving, just to see how much I could distract him. It worked for a minute, but he was able to pull himself together enough to focus on the task at hand, something that I was going to enjoy just as much, if not more than he would.
He finally got the drawer open and reached into it for the toy he’d found in my luggage when we were still in Rojo before he touched the silver bullet to my clit with one hand as he worked the remote with the other. I was already so close to orgasm that it didn’t take much. I threw my head back with a shout as it took over and my body started clutching at his. Apparently, I’d already taken Ajax that close to the edge, too, and he groaned as he joined me. It wasn’t long before the feel of the vibrator became too much, and I slapped his hand away before I collapsed on his chest.
“Fuck, you really know how to make a man’s life worth living, Ratched.”
“I’ll admit that our sex life is awesome, but I’m not sure if that’s the only thing worth living for.”
Ajax laughed softly as he rolled us over so that he was on top, and then he gave me a lingering kiss that curled my toes and made me wonder if we were really finished. When he started to harden while he was still inside me, I knew we’d be here for a while yet, and I was perfectly okay with that. He started moving slowly, his lips never leaving mine as he slid his hands beneath my back to curl up over my shoulders and hold me in place. I realized that we’d finished with the hard and fast morning quickie and had moved into the long and slow lovemaking that I always enjoyed.
That wasn’t enough for Ajax, though. The man just couldn’t resist running his mouth. But this time, what he said wasn’t infuriating. In fact, it was exactly the opposite.
“Even if I never got to feel myself inside you again, my life would only be worth living if I had you beside me, Sandi.”
I kissed him again before I said, “That’s sweet, baby.”
“That’s not all,” Ajax murmured against my lips. “I don’t want to ever have to live without you because I love you more than life itself.”
I gasped and then groaned when Ajax twisted his hips in a certain way and hit my clit just the way I liked. I tried to concentrate on what he was saying and form a coherent sentence to reply, but, as usual, the man kept me off-kilter in the best way.
This time, when my orgasm hit me, it was even more intense. I had a split-second to think that might be because I was finally ready to admit that my heart was involved. Ajax groaned above me, and I felt his cock start to twitch deep inside me before he whispered, “I love you, Sandi.”
For some reason, knowing that he loved the real Sandi and not just Ratched or Atilla, the faces that I was content to let the world see, felt better than anything I’d ever known in my life. It seemed perfectly natural when I replied, “I love you, too, Eric, and I don’t want to find out what it’s like to live without you.”
“Marry me.”
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, sweetheart.”
Ajax’s laughter was infectious, and we were still laughing when he rolled to his side and pulled me into his arms. We laughed even more when we decided we could use another shower after our morning’s escapades.
Life with Ajax was a roller coaster. But luckily, the times like this where his smile lit up my world and his laughter made my soul happy happened more often than the times I wanted to murder him. At least so far.
◆◆◆
AJAX
I had just bent over to pull on my boots when Sandi shocked me with a question I never thought I’d hear her ask.
“What do you think about raising a family with me?”
I lifted my head to look at her and figure out if she was joking. When I realized that she wasn’t, I asked, “Are you feeling okay, Attila?”
“I feel fine. That wasn’t an answer.”
“Honey, that first time we were together, you assured me that wasn’t going to be an issue, and I . . . “
“I’m not saying that I want to have a child, Ajax. Good God, can you imagine what that would be like at my age?” Sandi asked in horror.
“You wanna buy a dog?”
“I get that some people consider their pets their children, but no, I’m not interested in buying a dog. Well, not right now, anyway. I can’t have a dog while I’m still traveling all over and . . .”
I felt my heart lurch at that thought and asked, “Do you still want to do that?”
“I’m not going to say yes or no because right now I’m still reeling from your sweet declaration and don’t want to burst the puffy cloud of happiness where I’m floating.”
“Well, if you want to raise a . . .” I coughed because it was almost impossible for me to say without choking. When I was eventually able to finish, I said, “A family, then you might want to think about sticking around for a while.”
“The look on your face is priceless, Ajax.”
“Where’s this coming from, Attila? Did you figure out a new way to torture me and wanted to try it out?”
“Abigail asked me to take the kids if something happens to her, and I agreed.”
“Oh, thank God,” I said as I felt my heart start to beat again. I reached up and put my hand on my forehead as I tried to get my bearings and admitted, “I was feeling a little woozy there for a second at the idea that you might be pregnant or . . .”
Sandi burst out laughing and kept going until I was sure she was going to hurt herself. While she was still gasping for air, she choked out, “That was the funniest shit I’ve ever seen. I can’t breathe!”
“You’re an evil woman, Ratched. Pure fucking evil.”
“What would you do if, by some weird twist of fate, I ended up pregnant?”
“If what you told me is true, then that wouldn’t just be a twist of fate, sweetheart. That would be a fucking miracle.”
“True, but what do you think would happen?”
“I’d end up dead. You’d feed me to the gators and then help the authorities search for my body.”
“You think I’d kill you if you knocked me up?”
“No, I think you’re just unhinged enough right now to have me walking a thin line between life and death on a good day. I can’t imagine what would happen if you had pregnancy hormones and mood swings.” I shuddered at the thought and confessed, “It terrifies me.”
“I’m glad you understand that me letting you live is a gift you shouldn’t ever squander.”
I chuckled and got back on track before I asked, “Nothing’s gonna happen to Abigail. I’ll make sure of it.”
“She’s afraid and wants to make sure her bases are covered. She also asked me to watch out for her grandmother too.”
“And you agreed?”
“Yes.”
“So, if you had to take care of the kids, you’d stay here?”
“Would you help me raise them?”
“Of course. I’ve become really fond of Stinkerella and Booburrito.”
“Then, yes, I’d stay here permanently.”
“That’s good to know.”
“It doesn’t really matter, though, right? You’re going to make sure she’s okay?”
“I’d do that no matter what, Attila, not just because it’s my job, but because it’s the right thing to do. She’s a great woman, and I really like her. Even after the job is complete, I’m going to keep watching out for her.”
“I want you to meet my sons.”
I smiled before I said, “It’s about damn time.”
“What?”
“You really do like me a little, don’t you?”
“Don’t push it, Ajax. I recently made the acquaintance of a guy who has a swamp in his backyard.”
I laughed and said, “I’d love to meet your boys, Sandi.”
“Good.”
I had a moment of uncertainty and asked, “Do you think they’ll like me?”
That uncertainty went away when she instantly answered, “I’ve been telling them about you since we met, and they’re pretty sure you’re my punishment for being such a pain in their ass their entire lives. Yeah, they’re gonna like you.”
“Good, because I love their mother, and I’m not willing to give her up.”
“They might like you, but they’re pretty sure you’re not the sharpest pencil in the box, Ajax.”
“Why’s that?”
“They grew up in a house with me, so they know what it’s like.”
“It’s a fucking roller coaster, sweetheart, and I’m more than happy to be riding it.”