All That I Want (The Hesitant Husbands #2)

Chapter 3

Gavin pondered Lainey’s parting remark as he ambled toward the Lockwood home on the outskirts of town. The day was fine, the dappled sun creating spots of light that danced on the sidewalk at his feet. He’d sent the carriage on ahead of him, choosing to walk the rest of the way so he could enjoy the late summer breeze…and to have a little more time to prepare himself for whatever awaited him.

Lainey’s reception down near the docks had been unusually frosty. Something had changed in her since Aidan had married, though if he were being honest with himself, she’d been different since that disastrous night when she’d given her heart to him and he’d rewarded her by slicing it to ribbons. Turning her down had been the hardest thing he’d ever done, but he’d done it for her…though he doubted she would see it that way even if he told her the truth of it.

She’d been distant after his rejection, which was certainly understandable, but he’d rather thought she’d come round once she’d started speaking to him again. Although they put on a good show of their old friendship, it had become apparent to Gavin that a divide had opened between them, one he despaired of ever fixing.

Her behavior earlier today had been deuced odd. And what on earth had she been doing in that section of town, anyway? That was certainly no place for a woman to go wandering. She was up to something, and she’d been none too pleased to run into him. He couldn’t wait to hear what scheme she was cooking up now. Lainey always had her hands in more than one pie, and he secretly admired her for it. If only he could feel as useful.

He knocked on the door, dazzling Tibbs with a smile when he opened it. “Good

afternoon, Tibbs.”

“Good afternoon, sir,” the butler replied, swinging the door wide. “His Lordship has requested your presence in the study before you go in to tea.”

“Thank you, Tibbs,” Gavin said, handing him his hat and gloves. He strode toward the study and found Aidan seated behind his desk. “Working inside on this beautiful day? For shame.”

Aidan looked up, his face creasing into a grin. “One of us has to be the grown up.” He rose and shook Gavin’s hand. “How did the scouting go?”

“And here I thought you wanted to see me because you missed me at the office today,” he said, dropping into a chair with a cat-in-the-cream smile. “I think I may have found our new warehouse site. Perfect location, good price. We’ll want to move quickly, not that I think we’ll have any competition, but why risk it?”

“That’s excellent news, precisely what I was hoping to hear. I trust your judgement. I’ll have the papers drawn up tomorrow.” Aidan paused, regarding his life-long friend. “I’m proud of you for spearheading our expansion. Thank you for bringing to my attention the fact that you are ready to be in charge of this venture. I can’t think of anyone I trust more, and I know you will be successful at it.”

“I thank you for the opportunity. I’ve been feeling…” Lost? Restless? Like he was missing something? Gavin couldn’t quite put into words what was bothering him lately. He just knew he needed to do more, stay busy. “…ready to take on more responsibility within the company,” he finished, not wanting to look too closely at those feelings. “Oddest thing, though. I ran into Lainey and Elizabeth down near the docks.”

Aidan’s brow slammed down. “What the devil were the ladies doing there alone?”

“Exactly what I said.”

“And?”

“And your sister told me it was none of my concern and then invited me to tea to ask a favor of me.”

Aidan stared at Gavin. “I have no idea what goes through that woman’s head sometimes.”

“I gave up trying to guess long ago. Perhaps we should go in? I’m dying of curiosity about this favor.”

They entered the drawing room to find the ladies seated, their heads close together. Lainey laughed at something Elizabeth said, and Gavin’s breath caught in his throat. It was such a melodious sound, like water tripping over pebbles in a brook. It never failed to bring him a sense of peace.

“So nice of you to join us, gentlemen,” Lainey said as Gavin sat down across from her. He winked at her and a smile tugged at her lips as she looked away. Elizabeth handed him a teacup.

“What did we miss? I can tell the two of you are plotting something,” Gavin observed, taking a sip of his tea.

Lainey slid her gaze to his. “Oh, we are that transparent, are we?”

Aidan snorted. “Any time the two of you have your heads together, I know there is going to be trouble.”

“I rather resent that, husband,” Elizabeth said wryly.

“Do you?” he replied, eyes dancing. “Am I wrong?”

Elizabeth primly stirred her tea. “No. It’s just rude of you to point it out.”

They all laughed and tucked in to the tea sandwiches. Gavin was impressed that Aidan did not immediately demand what the women were doing down at the docks. He could be a little overbearing sometimes where his family was concerned. The companionable silence didn’t last for long, however.

“Well, ladies? Are you going to let us in on your secret?” Aidan asked. Gavin watched as Lainey and Elizabeth exchanged a look. Something was definitely up, and he suddenly had the feeling he wasn’t going to like what they were about to say.

“Very well,” Lainey replied. “If you must know, Elizabeth and I were discussing having a house party.”

Gavin definitely did not like what they had to say.

“A house party?” Aidan grimaced, dismay tinging his voice. “Is there a special occasion for such torture?”

“As a matter of fact...,” Lainey shifted uncomfortably, setting her cup on the table and smoothing imaginary wrinkles out of her skirt. “I would like to find a husband. And Gavin, you are going to help me.”

The tea that had been flowing smoothly down his throat a moment before now threatened to come out his nose as Gavin choked on both his surprise and the tea. The cup rattled precariously in its saucer when he lurched forward in a desperate attempt to free his hands for a handkerchief before he coughed tea out all over the Aubusson rug. An alarming clatter sounded and tea sloshed over the side of the cup as he fairly tossed the fragile china onto the table, groping in his pocket. He stared at the woman seated across from him while he forced the tea down and raised his handkerchief to his lips. Lainey, blast her, hardly even blinked.

“I (cough) beg your (cough) pardon?”

“Oh, Gavin, don’t be so tedious. It will be fun!”

“Fun for whom?” he asked, incredulous.

“All of us! Between your recovery, Aidan, from the incident with, well, you know…” The incident to which she referred involved Gavin’s brother, Garrett, who had nearly killed Aidan last spring. “…and then the wedding, it’s been a whirlwind. September is the most wonderful time of year to enjoy Rosecroft, and it’s time the two of you did some old-fashioned relaxing.”

“Exactly how is a house party relaxing?” Gavin’s voice cracked. “The season is bad enough, I’m not sure I can take four days with very determined, marriage-minded ladies. A man can get trapped at parties like this!”

“Actually, I’d like to invite everyone for a week.”

“A week!” Aidan squawked. “Lainey, no one does that anymore.”

“Well, I’m doing it. I want to get to know my potential suitors, and a Friday to Monday just isn’t enough. Gavin, do stop panicking,” Lainey said calmly at the look of terror on his face. “I will do my best to protect you from the ladies, but I need your help to invite the right kind of men.”

“What are the right kind of men?” Aidan interjected. “I’ve been introducing you to men for years. You never want any of them!”

“Precisely why I need Gavin’s help, brother.”

Gavin picked up the dangerous teacup again. It was a risk, but he really was thirsty. “I’m not following you, Lainey.”

She sighed and looked at her brother. “Aidan, there are no words that can express the depth of my love for you, but you have terrible taste in men.” She ignored Elizabeth’s poorly concealed snort of laughter and continued. “You want me to marry a peer, but they aren’t interested in me for the right reasons. They want my money or my connections. They all think a woman’s place is at home and want me to sit and do embroidery or painting all day while being a gracious hostess in the evening. That isn’t the life I want, Aidan.”

“So how do I fit in?” Gavin asked.

“I’d like you to invite some of your business friends,” she said, turning to him. “Ones who aren’t afraid of women who want to do something with their lives, who would support me in my endeavors rather than trying to keep me from them. There must be someone you know who is interested in a partner in life, not just an ornament to it.”

“Lainey, I don’t know about this…” he hedged.

“Gavin, please? You have so many connections. There must be a few men you would consider. And you know them better than Aidan. You’re the one they talk to. Aidan is too scary.”

“I beg your pardon,” Aidan demanded. “I am not scary.”

“Well, not since you met Elizabeth. You are much less terrifying now.”

Aidan scowled. “Lainey, this is all rather sudden. You haven’t been all that interested in marrying since Danby broke your engagement. Which leads me to wonder, what is really driving this decision?”

Lainey looked uncomfortable as she toyed with the cucumber sandwiches. Gavin waited with bated breath to hear what Lainey would cite as the reason for her change of heart, because for the life of him, he couldn’t think of a single good reason for her to give up on love. She was too special for a marriage of convenience.

“Well, you know I have always loved my charity work…” She seemed to gather her resolve and straighten her spine a little when she looked at her brother.

“Yeeees,” Aidan prompted.

“I would like access to my inheritance so that I may start a school for the betterment of underprivileged women,” she said in a rush. There was a moment of stunned silence during which Gavin’s esteem for Lainey went a notch higher.

“You want to establish a business?” Aidan said, doubt tinging his words.

“Yes, and I can hear what you are thinking. I can do this, Aidan. I want to do this. Did it not bother you to see firsthand the circumstances your wife and Betsy were living in before we found them?”

“Well, of course—”

“I will admit I didn’t give it quite as much thought until I met them and realized that these are women who have simply been beaten down by things out of their control. I want to do what I can to help them. Elizabeth and Betsy cannot be the only ones worth saving.”

“Yes, but Lainey, you don’t have to marry to access capital,” Aidan insisted. “I can give you whatever you need.”

“I knew you would say that, and I am so very grateful for the offer. You have done so well taking care of me over the years, but you have a wife now, and perhaps children will come next…I need to do this on my own. I want to do this on my own. I can’t rely on you for the rest of my life. And since a love match does not seem to be appearing for me, then I will settle for a happy life with someone who appreciates my ambition.”

“You cannot throw away your dream—”

“My work fulfills me, Aidan. I wish to make a difference for people who can’t change their lives on their own. I am merely trading one dream for another.”

There was an awkward silence as Lainey’s declaration settled in. The sandwiches Gavin had consumed were turning to lead in his stomach. Lainey was a woman who normally weighed decisions carefully. Leaping into a marriage to someone she barely knew was completely out of character for her.

“I don’t like this, Lainey,” he said, leaning his elbows on his knees. “This isn’t like you.”

“I don’t like it either,” Aidan chimed in. “It is ridiculous for you to marry just to gain access to your trust fund when I can supply what you need.”

“Then you aren’t hearing me. I want to be in charge of my own life, Aidan. I want children. A partner. I want to build something through hard work with my own two hands. I want to do something with the time I’ve been given other than embroidering handkerchiefs.”

“And you want Gavin to help you instead of your own brother, the one who is responsible for you?” Aidan sounded put out.

Lainey smiled. “Of course I want your help, too. I just thought perhaps Gavin may have some connections that you don’t. He has always been welcome in polite society, but he moves in a different circle as well. I will still need you to be my big brother and scare away anyone inappropriate.”

“That I can do.” Aidan sighed. “Lainey, I wish you would think about this more. Running a business is not easy, and once children come along, they will need you.”

“I’ve already spent months thinking about it. That disastrous dinner the other night just proved to me it is the right time to put things into motion. My hope is that by the time children come along, I will be well established enough that I can step away when needed. I already have two staff members.”

“Who?”

Both Lainey and Elizabeth fidgeted with their teacups, silently daring one another to be the first to break the news. Aidan’s eyes narrowed.

“You cannot be serious.” He speared Elizabeth with a dark look. “You are partnering in this endeavor? Without even consulting me first?”

“Before you get indignant, I didn’t even know about this myself until today. And yes, when your sister told me of her plan and asked for my help, I immediately agreed. These are my people, Aidan. I wouldn’t be alive if it weren’t for some of them. If there is some way that I can help them, then I must. I would hope you would understand.”

Aidan looked at her for a long moment, then sighed. “I do understand. And I admire you both. But Lainey, you do not need to rush a marriage in order to do this. That part I do not comprehend.”

Lainey smiled patiently at her brother. “You don’t have to comprehend, you just have to support me. I think, given time, you will come to see my way of thinking. And by having the two of you handpick my potential husbands, I should think I will have a good chance at a happy marriage.”

Gavin leaned forward, studying her. “Lainey, you are sure this is what you want?”

Lainey met his eyes while several seconds ticked by, and Gavin suddenly felt a kinship with those butterflies that were pinned to white cotton and displayed under glass. She dropped her gaze and stirred her tea that did not need to be stirred. “It may not be precisely what I’ve always wanted, but it will do.”

The seemingly innocent comment zapped him all the way down to his toes. Blast it, even after two years…

Well, by God, if this is what Lainey wanted, then Gavin was going to do everything in his power to make it happen for her. It was his chance at redemption. “Aidan?”

He looked to his best friend for his blessing. He could see Aidan’s unhappiness warring with the desire to back Lainey’s decision.

“Can we avoid the house party?” Aidan asked hopefully.

“Absolutely not.”

He sighed. “I guess you’d better start drafting a list then, Gav. It appears my baby sister is getting married.”

Lainey grinned. “Thank you, Aidan. I will make you proud of me, you’ll see.”

“I’ve always been proud of you. I want you to be happy.”

“I believe I shall be.”

“Well then,” Gavin said, rising. “I trust you will send me all the details for the party, Lainey. I will do my best.”

“I know you will,” she replied. “I will see you out.”

Once at the door, Gavin turned and studied Lainey for a few heartbeats. “Sweetheart, you are sure? You deserve to be loved fiercely and to love fiercely in return.”

“Yes, I do,” she replied, squarely meeting his gaze. “But being rejected first by you, and then shortly after by Mr. Danby, certainly has a way of stripping a girl of self-confidence and making her believe she needs to settle for less.”

Gavin’s heart squeezed. “Lainey. I never meant—”

She held up a hand. “It was a long time ago, Gavin. I’ve made peace with it, and it’s time to move on. Perhaps a love match just isn’t in the cards for me, or perhaps you’ll introduce me to the love of my life. Whichever it is, I will be content. I cherish your friendship, and I appreciate your willingness to help me with this even though I sprang it on you.”

He recognized the determined look in her eyes. Lainey had truly given this some thought; this was not as impulsive as it seemed. Still and all, this decision did not sit well with him. If only he could marry her himself…but he could not, and Lainey could not know the true reason or she’d never look at him the same way again. But helping her find a good husband just might earn her forgiveness.

Gavin flashed her his most winsome smile, hoping to pull some of their old closeness to the surface. “I am here to assist, my lady.”

The corners of Lainey’s mouth turned up, but it appeared more resigned than happy. “Very well then, Mr. Mayfield, off with you! Go and find me someone who isn’t a dead bore.”

Gavin winked and donned his top hat. “Your wish is my command.”