Chapter 4
“What do you mean someone else has bought it? It just became available!” Lainey stared at her land agent, flummoxed.
“I’m sorry, my lady, sometimes things move quickly.”
“But I only just viewed it three days ago!” Lainey cried.
“We received a cash offer for the full amount and accepted it. My lady, forgive me, but without actual money to purchase the property, there is no guarantee it will wait for you.”
“No, of course not,” Lainey conceded with a sigh. “It’s just that it was so perfect for my needs.”
“I understand. Were none of the other properties you viewed satisfactory?”
Lainey frowned. “Not nearly so as that one,” she said, dejected.
“Have faith, my lady. When you are ready to purchase, the right property will come along. If you’ll allow me, I think you are setting yourself up for disappointment until you have funds available. Once you have those in place, then begin your search.”
Lainey deflated in her chair. “I suppose you are right.”
The rounded man leaned forward, light reflecting off his balding head. “I think it’s an admirable thing you are doing, Lady Elaine.”
“You do?” Lainey straightened up again.
He nodded. “I do. Not many women would take a project like this on by themselves…or even with help, for that matter. You have backbone, my lady, and a generous spirit. I’ve always admired you for that.”
“Well, thank you, Mr. Seawell. That is nice to hear. My brother thinks I am addlepated.”
Seawell chuckled. “Oh, I doubt that, my lady. He’s just overly protective. He’s afraid if you knew how proud he is of you, it would go straight to your head.”
Lainey laughed, then stood to go. “I don’t suppose you can tell me who made the offer on the property?”
“Not until all the paperwork is filed.”
“Of course. But perhaps once things are finalized, you’ll be so kind as to send me a note with this person’s name? I will be spending the next few weeks at Rosecroft. I intend to be married soon, and then I’ll be in a position to make him a generous offer to sell to me. He may find he doesn’t need this specific property after all!”
“I will do that, my lady, but don’t get your hopes up. People don’t generally buy properties like this with the intent of letting them go.”
“Well, we’ll just see about that, won’t we?”
Lainey slumped back against the squabs in the carriage. Blast it! She wanted that property. There wasn’t anything else comparable that was available, and the other two just weren’t in safe enough areas. She would need staff that felt comfortable coming to the center, and she wanted the women who used its services to feel safe there as well. Plus, it had the perfect amount of space she would need when she was ready to expand.
She stared blindly out the window and wondered for the hundredth time in two days if she was doing the right thing. Mr. Seawell was correct, she’d gotten ahead of herself going to look at properties when she couldn’t make an offer on them. She’d just been so excited! But that was typical. Once she made a decision, she leaped in with both feet without looking.
“If you weren’t so stubborn, you could just ask your brother for a loan, you dunderhead,” Lainey scolded herself. But it wasn’t just her stubbornness. She needed, for once in her life, to do something—to have something—that was hers and hers alone. Something she could be proud of, a legacy to leave behind.
And the women of London desperately needed her help. After Betsy had appeared on their doorstep and the issue with Elizabeth’s safety had been resolved, Lainey had gone with Elizabeth to the lodging—if one could call it that—she and Betsy had once shared to collect the few possessions that remained. Lainey had been horrified to see firsthand the conditions in which her friends had been living. She knew right then that she simply had to do something. She’d spent months pondering the best way for her to help, and the little seedling of an idea had grown until it burst into full bloom at that wretched dinner.
Perhaps she was being a bit hasty and rushing into marriage. But honestly, she was tired of the whole circus surrounding the marriage mart. She was nearly twenty-five, for heaven’s sake! If she hadn’t found a love match by now, then maybe she just wasn’t meant to find one. She’d had suitors, but none of them had measured up to—
There you go again, Lainey.
She really, really needed to find a way to get Gavin Mayfield out of her system. It had been easy when she’d still been so angry with him, but once the anger had worn off, the yearning reappeared, much to her annoyance. She tried to maintain her distance from him, but it was hard when he was around all the time! As Aidan’s best friend and business partner, there was truly no escaping him. So, Lainey had lived in torment for the past two years.
But no more. If this party was a success, Lainey would find a suitable match, perhaps even someone she could grow to love as much as Gavin. She was convinced that if she could find a replacement for him in her heart, then she would stop mooning over him every time he walked into the room. She just needed a new place to focus her love, be it on a husband or her children.
Lainey smiled at the thought of children. She was so jealous of her friends who already had them…she lived for the moment she would hold her new baby in her arms. Oh, wouldn’t it be delightful if she and Elizabeth had little ones at the same time? Lainey grinned. It may not have gone exactly as she’d planned, but her life was going to be good.
“Are you excited?” Elizabeth asked as she and Lainey ascended the stairs of Rosecroft Manor, the country home of the Lockwoods. It had been a hectic month of planning, sending out invitations, and coordinating travel, but they were here at last, in the final stages of prepping for the house party. Betsy had travelled with them and was already in the kitchen with Cook, excited to learn how a grand country estate is run. Betsy had been a remarkable addition to their household, with an insatiable thirst for learning, and Elizabeth had been glad of a friend nearby as she embarked on her new life.
Lainey picked up her skirts a little higher after she stumbled for a second time. “I think so…I’m not really sure, actually. It’s rather unnerving throwing myself at the feet of eligible bachelors, particularly after my last experience.”
Elizabeth nodded sagely. “Ah yes. Aidan told me about Mr. Danby.”
“Danby?” Belatedly, Lainey realized Elizabeth hadn’t meant Gavin. Sometimes she forgot only John Danby knew about that night. He’d found her crying in the garden and Lainey had poured out her woes in a torrent of sobs on her poor friend’s shoulder. She cringed at the memory. Her behavior that night still embarrassed her to this day. Lainey sighed. “Yes, of course. He did cause quite the scandal, but I bear him no ill will. John’s heart simply belonged to someone else. He was marrying me for the money he desperately needed, and I was—” She broke off suddenly, realizing she’d almost let slip the real reason she’d accepted Danby’s proposal. His attentions had soothed her wounded pride. “I was…young and impetuous, I suppose. I thought he was what I wanted, but in the end, I’m glad he broke it off. He was a good man, but I didn’t love him and he didn’t love me. He’s happily married now, though still living a very modest life. He chose love over financial security and I admire him for that.” Lainey couldn’t help but think he’d felt sorry for her and that was the real reason behind his proposal. What a disaster that would have been if she’d married him.
“I imagine that was rather difficult to bear.” They reached the top of the stairs and continued on down the hall, Elizabeth looping her arm through Lainey’s. “I do wonder though…”
“Yes?” Lainey drew out the word, curiosity setting her on high alert.
“Well, it’s just that Aidan told me the reason you haven’t been interested in finding a husband is because you were heartbroken.”
“Ah…yes.”
“Yet you just told me that you didn’t love Mr. Danby.”
“Er—”
“So that would lead one to wonder…who actually broke your heart?”
Elizabeth eyed her shrewdly, and Lainey’s stomach plummeted to her toes. Elizabeth couldn’t know, could she? Lainey had thought she’d fooled everyone.
“Well…er… no one. I just…I just said that to save face.”
“Mm hm. And saving face kept you off the market for two years?”
“I just didn’t meet anyone that interested me, that’s all. At least, anyone who was interested in more than an ornament for their arm.”
“I see.”
“Ah! Here we are!” Lainey said brightly. She opened the door they were standing in front of and ushered Elizabeth inside. “Your room is one of my favorites in the house.”
Elizabeth glanced around, an appreciative smile lighting her face. Between the rush of the season, Aidan’s recovery, and the wedding planning, Elizabeth had not yet been to Rosecroft, and Lainey was enjoying seeing her beloved childhood home through Eliza’s eyes. “It’s darling!” Elizabeth exclaimed. “But don’t think you have successfully diverted me away from our conversation.” She laughed.
Lainey rolled her eyes. “You are too astute, my dear friend.”
“So, I am right!”
Lainey sighed. “If I tell you the truth, do you swear to keep it to yourself?”
Elizabeth clapped her hands in glee while bouncing up and down like a child who’s had one sweet too many. She grabbed Lainey’s hand and dragged her over to the bed, and they collapsed together, laughing. “I swear.”
Lainey tugged at her skirts, tucking one leg beneath her. “There was someone before Mr. Danby.”
“I knew it! Were you very much in love?”
Lainey’s face softened. “Well…I was. Unfortunately, he didn’t feel the same.”
“What happened?”
“I poured my heart out to him, and he turned me down flat.”
“What?” Elizabeth was dismayed. “For what reason? You are a spectacular catch!”
Lainey chuckled. “Thank you for thinking so. Apparently, he did not agree.”
“Did he say why?”
“Some ridiculous business about not being good enough for me,” Lainey replied bitterly. “But I think he was just using that as an excuse so he didn’t have to admit he didn’t care for me.”
“Are you sure, Lainey? I don’t get the feeling most men would immediately own up to being unworthy,” Elizabeth said wryly.
“As I said, it seemed a feeble excuse. He was plenty worthy of me.” Lainey was surprised at the stab of pain in her chest. Even after two years, the memory of that day still hurt more than she liked to admit.
“Lainey…” Elizabeth chose her word carefully. “I’m sure there will be many suitors from whom you can choose this week, but I wonder…” She trailed off, irritating Lainey’s last nerve.
“Out with it, Eliza.”
“Well, I’d just wondered whether perhaps you might take a second look at those you already know.”
“What do you mean by that? I haven’t had a single offer I’m interested in accepting.”
“Perhaps he hasn’t offered because he’s unsure of how you feel.”
“Elizabeth, who on earth are you talking about?”
“Gavin.”
“Gavin?” Lainey nearly slid off the edge of the bed.
“Hear me out. I think there is something there that he doesn’t want to admit to out loud. I’ve seen the way he looks at you.”
The way he looks at her, indeed. Lainey had seen those looks too…all they said to her was please forgive me so can we go back to being dear friends. “I think your romantic heart is imagining things.”
“I don’t agree. There is something between the two of you. I can feel it every time you are together. I’m just suggesting that you should consider him as well. He’s kind, and handsome, and you already have a life-long friendship as a base for love to grow on. He’s not a bad option.”
“Eliza, Gavin does not want to marry me, I assure you. We are friends, that is all. He’ll never see me as anything other than Aidan’s little sister, and I don’t want to muddy our friendship with something as messy as love. Things are just fine the way they are. I shall just have to choose from the men he and Aidan have assembled for me this week. Who knows, I may find my great love match after all!”
“Lainey, are you sure? I really think—”
“Dearest, you’ve known him barely six months. I’ve known him practically my whole life. Trust me when I say Gavin and I are not a match. Now,” she said, hopping off of the bed. “I am going to change out of these dusty travel clothes and supervise the unpacking. We still have lots to prepare before the guests arrive tomorrow, so I will see you at tea and we can hatch a plan for the week.” She bussed Elizabeth’s cheek. “Thank you for being a good friend. I’m so glad Aidan married you.” She squeezed Elizabeth’s hand and left the room.
She hadn’t made it but a few steps down the hall when Elizabeth’s words came floating back to her. I see the way he looks at you. Could Elizabeth really see something that Lainey had been missing?
“Pull yourself together, Lainey,” she muttered, quickening her steps. “You are not going down that road again.”
But her steps slowed the more she thought. Could there have been another reason Gavin had turned her down? He’d tried to explain that he didn’t think he was good enough for her, but she’d known that was just an excuse, although life had definitely changed when her father had inherited his title all those years go. Still, Gavin and Aidan had remained close. If he was good enough for a future earl, then he should have been good enough for Lainey, too.
She sagged against a hall table. It had to be that he simply was not attracted to her and didn’t want to say so. Just because she’d fallen head over heels in love with him didn’t mean he was going to do the same. Lainey had attracted plenty of men who wanted her dowry or her social connections, but none that seemed to want to know her. Even John had changed his mind. So, the problem must lie with her. Although…
Gavin didn’t seem interested in marriage at all, now that she thought about it. He’d never spoken of finding a wife, and he effortlessly dissuaded all the young debutantes who swooned over him. What if…what if Elizabeth was right, and Gavin was worried about something else that was preventing him from offering for her?
Lainey raised a hand to her brow and squeezed her eyes shut. Stop it, Elaine Lockwood. What’s done is done. It’s time to move forward with someone else.
“Lainey? Are you all right?”
Lainey catapulted herself away from the table with a yelp and stumbled backwards a few steps when her eyes rested upon the person who had inquired after her well-being. “You nearly scared the life out of me! Gavin, what are you doing here?”