All That I Want (The Hesitant Husbands #2)

Chapter 24

It was late in the afternoon the following day when the last of the guests departed. Lainey was exhausted, but happy, as the well-wishers bid fond farewells. All in all, she’d have to say the party was a success, though it certainly hadn’t ended as she had initially planned. She had to admit, she preferred this outcome.

She turned away from the door and Elizabeth put her arm around her. “Looks like you could use a cup of tea. I think I’ll join you.”

Lainey smiled gratefully at her sister-in-law. “That sounds like an excellent idea. My head is spinning.”

“I imagine so.”

“Lainey,” Aidan interrupted. “Before my wife steals you away, could I have a word with you in my study?”

“Of course. I’ll meet you in the drawing room in a few minutes, Eliza.”

She followed her brother to his study, the scene of both her first kiss and the disastrous argument the other night. It was an odd juxtaposition of memories. Aidan took his favorite position, perching a hip on the edge of his desk.

“Are you happy?”

“Of course! Why would you even ask that?”

“Because I thought I knew what you wanted…hell, I thought I knew you up until the other night.”

“Did you bring me in here to chastise me again?”

“No. I brought you in here to apologize for being so high-handed with you. I love you, Lainey, and I’ve only ever wanted what I thought was best for you, but it turns out, I didn’t know what that was, and that threw me.”

“Oh, Aidan.” Lainey came to stand beside him, slipping an arm around his waist and resting her head on his shoulder. “I know you love me, and I know you have done the best you could being father, mother, and brother to me all at once. It was a lot for you to take on at such a young age, and you have been nothing short of marvelous at it. I don’t know what I would have done without you. But I think somewhere in there, you just didn’t realize that I had grown up and needed to make my own choices.”

He draped an arm across her shoulders and dropped a kiss on her head. “You grew up far too quickly for my liking.”

She laughed, relishing the comfort of her big brother’s arm about her. “I love you, even though you were a boor.”

Aidan chuckled. “You cannot blame me for being shocked. You are still my little sister. I will protect you all of my life. With my life, if necessary.”

“Oh dear, let us hope it doesn’t come to that!” She pulled out of his embrace to look him in the eye. “Are you happy?”

“About you and Gav?”

She nodded. “It’s not…awkward, is it?”

“As long as I blot the events of the other night out of my mind, not at all.” He burst out laughing at the stricken look on her face. He reached for her hands, squeezing them reassuringly. “Lainey, I could not be more thrilled to welcome Gavin into this family—officially now. I had secretly hoped the two of you would marry someday, but he was so disinclined toward marriage I’d given up the notion.”

“You and me both. He was the reason behind the John Danby disaster, you know.” Surprise flitted across Aidan’s face. “It’s true. I’d practically thrown myself at Gavin and he’d refused me, so I accepted the first offer of marriage that came along. Thankfully, John came to his senses before it was too late.”

“Wait. You threw yourself at Gavin?”

“I suggested the idea of marriage. He practically ran.”

“When was this?”

“Two years ago. I think John proposed out of pity.”

Aidan’s warm, brown eyes clouded with hurt. “Lainey…why didn’t you tell me?”

“That I was in love with your best friend? Because you would have bullied him into choosing something he didn’t want, just like you did the other night. He needed to arrive at that conclusion himself or he would never have been happy, and neither would I. Besides, he’s your closest friend. You must concede it would have been at least a little awkward for me to tell you the truth about how I felt, especially given that he didn’t feel the same.”

“Lainey, I had no idea…” Aidan shook his head. “Never think that you can’t talk to me about something. I am always here for you. Promise me you will always be honest with me from now on and tell me what’s on your mind. I don’t like having secrets between us.”

“Neither do I. But I was so worried I was going to ruin your friendship…and I would have never forgiven myself for that.”

“Well, you did your best the other night, and Gav and I are still on speaking terms, so I think we’ll always be friends.”

“You are never going to let that go, are you?”

“Nope. What are big brothers for? Come,” he said, rising. “I’m famished. Let us go have tea with Elizabeth and the two of you can chatter my ears off about wedding plans.” He pulled Lainey into a tight embrace. “Lainey, my dear,” he said softly. “My heart is so full.”

“Do not make me cry on your superfine,” she said into his shoulder. She drew back to look into his face. “Thank you for being such a sensational big brother.”

“Ah, you make it easy, Lainey.” He grinned and they headed for the drawing room.

Gavin returned from his parents’ home sometime later and joined them in the drawing room. The late afternoon sun was turning toward its golden hour, glinting off the mullioned windows and washing the earth with a soft glow. Lainey couldn’t keep her eyes off of her fiancé, his blond locks glinting with a copper tint in the sunlight. She was still adjusting to the fact that he was her fiancé. Last night seemed almost a dream, and she was afraid she was going to wake up any moment. Gavin caught her eye.

“Lainey, I wonder if you would accompany me on a short ride before dark?”

“Oh, Gavin, I really am very tired—”

“Please. It won’t take long.”

They had barely had a moment alone since last night, and tired as she was, she was eager to have him to herself for a while. “I’d be glad to. I’ll just need to change.”

“We aren’t going that far. What you have on will do. I’d like to be back before sundown.”

“Very well, then let’s be off.”

They excused themselves and headed for the stables. Once Lainey’s horse was saddled, they cantered off toward the pond. They rode in companionable silence for a few moments.

“How are you today?” Gavin asked her.

“A little worn out, and still in shock, I think.”

Gavin smiled ruefully. “I’m sorry for the subterfuge. I was desperate to fix things and you wouldn’t speak to me.”

“Can you blame me?”

“No…no, I cannot. I am ashamed of how I handled this whole thing.”

“I’m still rather miffed at you.”

Gavin chuckled. “Miffed?”

Lainey gave him a sideways glance. “I can think of other words, but they are less polite,” she said dryly.

“I deserve that,” he agreed. “Lainey, I am sorry. I’m sorry I hurt you so badly as to make you feel worthless. Those words stabbed my heart last night. I had no idea I made you feel that way. I had hoped you were merely infatuated back then and would find someone decent to love. I didn’t want you to live in the hell that I was in, wanting you so badly, but knowing I could never have you.”

“Yet that is exactly where you consigned me.”

“I know that now. It’s been a miserable existence for both of us. And when you’d finally decided to move on, I thought I could let you go. I tried, for your sake. But then you kissed me—”

“Ah, you kissed me,” she teased.

“—then you asked me to kiss you, and the moment I had you in my arms I knew it was all over. I was terrified to lose you and terrified to ask you to be part of my life. And I made the wrong choice. I know it will take time, but I hope one day you will forgive me for bungling things so badly.”

They’d arrived at the pond, and Gavin reined his horse in. Lainey drew up beside him, and together, they dismounted, tethering the horses to a nearby tree. Gavin reached for her hand and kissed it, tugging her gently toward the pond. She fell into step beside him, but remained silent.

“There is something on your mind that you are not telling me, my darling.” Gavin squeezed her hand gently. “What is it?”

Lainey bit her lip. This still seemed such a fragile reality, she was frightened to trust it. But she had to know for sure. They stood looking out over the still water, listening to the bees buzzing and the birds chirping while she gathered her thoughts. Finally, she took a steadying breath.

“Gavin, are you sure?” She asked in a small voice.

“Am I sure? Of what?”

“Do you really want to marry me?”

Gavin swung around in front of her to grip her shoulders. “Yes,” he said fiercely. “Yes, I want to marry you. I don’t ever want to be without you.”

She cast her eyes downward, and Gavin moved his hands from her shoulders to the sides of her face. “Lainey,” he said, tipping her head up to look at him. “I know last night was sudden and confusing…in the space of twenty-four hours, I tossed years of resistance aside, and you went from never wanting to see me again to being my fiancée. But believe me, I have never wanted anything more. I was slow to allow myself to have what I wanted, but now that it’s been given to me, I can’t wait to spend my life with you.” He frowned in concern. “Perhaps I should be asking you the same question. We may have a potentially difficult road ahead of us. Now that you’ve had some time to think on it, do you still want to marry me?”

The corner of her mouth quirked up. “That’s all I’ve ever wanted, Gavin. Nothing will change that.”

He smiled, caressing her cheeks with his thumbs. “I love you, Lainey.”

“And I love you,” she whispered.

He pulled her to him for a languorous kiss, and she melted against him. It wasn’t a dream; he was hers.

He pulled back, reaching into his pocket. “I know my proposal was a bit unorthodox, but I’m hoping this will dispel any lingering doubts about my intentions.”

He produced a small box, opening it for her. Inside, nestled in silk, was a gleaming diamond ring in the form of a flower trailing around the wearer’s finger. The afternoon sun sent sparks winking from the box.

“Oh, Gavin,” she breathed. “It is stunning.”

“It was my grandmother’s. I think she would be happy for you to have it.”

Her took her left hand in his and slid it on her finger. She fought back tears of joy.

“Gavin, it’s perfect. I’ve never seen anything so perfect in my life.”

“I’m glad you like it.”

She lay her hand against his chest, admiring the fiery ring. “We are really doing this?”

“We are really doing this.” He kissed her again, making her toes curl in her boots. Thank heaven she had a lifetime of this to look forward to.

“Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to keep from ravishing you on this very bank the other day?” he said against her lips.

“Oh, you mean on the day you ruined my very favorite bonnet?”

“You are never going to let me live that down, are you?”

“Oh no, I’m still plotting various ways to get back at you.”

Laughter rumbled in Gavin’s chest. “You know,” he said, waggling his eyebrows. “We are quite alone out here,” he said, dropping his voice to a husky tone and dragging a finger down her throat. “We could pick up where we left off the other day…” He let his words trail off suggestively.

“We could…” she agreed. “But there is something wrong here.”

“What is it now?”

“You, my darling, are far too dry.”

She brought her other hand up to his chest and his eyes widened with sudden understanding.

“Don’t you da—Lai—!”

The resulting splash was incredibly satisfying. She grinned. “All right, we are even now,” she called as Gavin came up to the surface. “I’m not even miffed anymore!”

Their joy-filled laughter rang out across the water, filling the shadows of the trees with light.