Chapter 4
S tone
My shoulders were so tight that my neck ached, and I had the beginnings of a headache from hell. Rubbing my temples as I stared out the library window to the gardens below didn’t help. Being back in Faery usually chased away my fatigue and stress, but this time, I couldn’t shake the thoughts of Shannon and what to do about her. My wolf rumbled, his mood as unsettled as mine. He was always wilder, more feral when we were in Faery, and along with the magic that buzzed through my veins, I was more wound up than ever.
Being here always had challenges, like avoiding my family, but I’d managed to evade their notice so far. My father’s lands were far away, and he had only ever visited the palace at the king’s request, so it seemed safe enough to bring Shannon here. After I’d told my blood sire where to shove his expectations, I never saw him again. I’d met a kind and gentle Fae who’d agreed to be my mate. After it had become clear that my father was still searching for me, I’d found an illegal portal, and we’d left Faery behind.
My nostrils flared, my shoulders curving under the weight of my guilt. It was too late for redemption over my inability to protect my mate. That would never happen, but I could stop Shannon from killing herself. Her safety may not be my responsibility. She wasn’t my mate. But for some reason, I couldn’t just let her self-destruct.
I intended to leave Shannon secure in this palace while I went back to Hope to help Rawson search for Ava, but B’nar’s tight face as he walked in told me there was no more time to think about whether that was the right course of action.
“We have to go. Rawson’s found her.” His words were clipped and to the point.
I nodded, squaring my shoulders and throwing off the guilt of my past. Rawson had already lost one mate to a violent death. That devastation and emptiness was something I wouldn’t wish on anyone, and never twice in a lifetime. My brother had been through it once already, so I’d do everything possible to stop it from happening again.
B’nar slipped his hand inside his tunic pocket and grasped something. Likely his portal ring. A portal stone was rare and so precious that he always kept it on him. Without it, there would be no political relations between Faery and Earth. And with the cursed Faery king now being head of the Supernatural Bureau of Investigation, we had access to Faery’s technology, superior weaponry, and army.
Other smaller, less powerful portals could be used for a price—usually a high one. Unsanctioned portals were illegal in Faery, mainly because of the more unscrupulous Fae who trafficked people and drugs. And the High King, or in this case, the Prince Regent, could always feel it when one was summoned. I didn’t understand how. I only knew his magic connected him to the Faery realm itself—just like it did for his father before him.
Sometimes, it took B’nar a long time to hunt down an illegal portal, but hunt them he did. He was even more determined in his pursuit of the digitalis dealers than his father had been. I had no idea why, but whatever drove him was deep-seated enough for him to kill his own kind. B’nar didn’t do that lightly. Perhaps he’d known someone who’d succumbed to the hold of the human-grown plant. Its effects on the Fae were highly addictive, just as opiates were for humans.
B’nar tilted his head. “What will you do with Shannon?”
I put my back to the glittering snow-covered gardens and fully faced the Prince. “I’ll leave her here. She’ll be safe without me and must be kept from temptation.”
B’nar’s lips flattened into a tight line.
“You don’t agree.”
His pale green gaze was steady. “It’s not my place to agree or disagree. I don’t know Shannon well enough to make that call. But Ava is her sister. If my brother was in trouble because of something I’d done, I’d want the chance to tell him how sorry I was or at least see with my own eyes that he wasn’t hurt because of my actions.”
I blew air out through my nostrils. “I know, but I’m not entirely sure she cares.” Or maybe she did. It was hard to know if she was being genuine. Shannon had always been a master manipulator, and that side of her personality had only gotten worse the more she drank. “And if Rawson needs me, my focus won’t be on her or keeping her from fucking up again. It can’t be if we need to leave Hope to help my brothers fight. If she causes any more trouble, I’m not sure Rawson will let it slide again. Not after this.”
“Maybe. Or maybe she should have one more opportunity not to fuck up; to admit her mistake and show she won’t do it again.”
My shoulders rose and fell, my headache getting worse.
B’nar strode forward and grasped my shoulder, his face sincere. “I know how hard this is. When someone you care about is set on such a destructive path, it’s difficult to know what to do. Is she really intent on hurting herself so much that she can’t stop while we save her sister? If you aren’t sure how far gone she is, it might help to give her enough rope to hang herself, so to speak. That way, if she really is intent on destroying herself, either consciously or because she’s reached the point that her addictions control her, you’ll know for sure.”
I was surprised by the understanding in his voice. “You have experience with this kind of thing, don’t you.”
B’nar tipped his head back, his big shoulders rising and falling, his fists clenched. “My youngest brother.”
Silence fell. B’nar had mentioned a younger brother called Arrochar, but that clearly wasn’t who he meant now, not if the look on his face and the grief in his eyes were anything to go by. I wouldn’t pry. He would elaborate if he wanted to. He straightened, his face becoming blank as he looked at me. Clearly, he didn’t. I couldn’t blame him. Talking about things that could never be changed, that hurt too damned much to even think about, wasn’t something I would do either.
“We leave in fifteen minutes. I’ll wait near the portal ground. My warriors and plenty of weapons will be coming with us.” He strode to the door but hesitated and looked back over his shoulder. “Whatever you decide to do, I’ll help where I can. Just be prepared that sometimes, no matter what you do, you can’t change the outcome.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose, realising that, even though I trusted B’nar with my life, I knew very little about his past, about him. Perhaps being emotionally distant was the product of growing up as the child of a powerful father and all the expectations that went with it. We had that in common. At least I’d managed to escape my prison of responsibility and expectation. So far.
With a heavy sigh, I strode to the shelves of books at the back of the room. Fumbling behind the books, I found the release catch for the entrance to the secret armoury. B’nar had given me access to it the last time I was here. Leaving the library behind, I hurried into the ultra-modern and technologically advanced area. I wouldn’t take weapons without B’nar’s permission, but Shannon needed clothes, clean ones that weren’t covered in vomit and sweat. Grabbing her some combat trousers, an armoured top that looked like nothing more than a layer of long-sleeved silk, boots, and a padded snow jacket, I quickly retraced my steps up the curving stone staircase and back into the library. Closing the entrance securely, I made my way as quickly as possible to Shannon’s room.
The palace had the air of a warm, well-cared-for home, which on any other day would be welcome. The staff nodded politely and greeted me, dipping their heads in respect as they went about their business. Such a comfortable and friendly atmosphere always unnerved me. My father’s home had been hushed. A place where the staff daren’t speak or even look at the family of High Fae who lived within its walls. It had been a cold and joyless place despite being filled with luxury and beams of beautiful sunlight shining through the large windows. The scent of spring-laced snow and flowers had always drifted in on the breeze along with birdsong and the hum of bees. They were beautiful sounds sporadically filling the stately home and gardens when the Fae moons were high and the gentle wind brought warmth across borders. House Vilderon’s lands nestled in the lands that bordered the Winter and Spring Kingdoms. And I’d hated it with every fibre of my being right from the moment my mother and I had been taken to live with my estranged father.
Like always, I pushed away those memories, hoping Shannon was awake. B’nar was right. If not being there for Ava had indeed been a mistake, maybe I should give her the opportunity to show me, or rather her sister, Rawson, Connor, and basically everyone she lived and worked with, that she was in control. Besides, despite everything, I didn’t want to leave her here, and yet my steps slowed the closer I got.
My wolf rumbled his disapproval of my plan, urging me to keep her locked away and safe. Part of me agreed with him. I wanted to stop her from further stupidity—like drinking until she passed out or starving herself, or fucking any cock that was willing. My fists clenched as my vision turned red. Not because she fucked who she wanted—we were shifters, and shifters were physical beings who liked to fuck—but because no matter how much I tried to distance myself from her, it made me want to rip the fuckers’ heads off. My wolf growled, the sound echoing around my skull.
Sometimes finding a potential mate sucked. Especially since she’d sent me a big fuck you the night of the Beta challenge when I’d tried to make it clear that being forced to live with her didn’t affect me. From the moment we’d arrived in Hope, she’d spent as much time out of the house that we shared as she could, and I couldn’t deny I was pissed at her for avoiding me.
We’d been sent to Hope to make sure Ava was okay, so I shouldn’t have felt resentful of the time she devoted to her sister and the new friends she’d made. Nor should the fact that she visited a different bar every day bother me, especially the newly opened club, the Black Orchid, which had become her favourite haunt. It shouldn’t bother me that, rather than sleeping under the same roof as me, she preferred staying out in motels, fucking her latest conquest. I knew how often she did because Eli Ruthless, the manager of the bars and clubs in Hope, had his people phone me and tell me when she left or when she was so drunk she needed me to come get her.
I stretched to relieve the tension in my neck and back muscles. Shannon was part of Connor’s family, his inner circle, and if anything happened and Eli hadn’t watched out for her, there’d be hell to pay. She didn’t hear his phone calls to me, but she knew he had something to do with me turning up to ruin her fun. He always took her saltiness with good humour. We both knew her vitriol and self-destructive behaviour didn’t make her any less important to Connor or me.
I never got involved, especially if Eli thought she was capable of consenting to whatever she and her fuck buddies did. I knew if I needed to hunt her down, I could. It was easy to trace her phone or use my sense of smell to find her. And Eli wasn’t stupid; he was a new Alpha to Hope, and if he wanted Rawson’s and Connor’s trust and permission to stay and manage the business ventures he’d been allowed to set up, he needed to stay on our good side.
Eli always made sure he had images of the guys Shannon left with. I’d never looked at those videos or pictures. Knowing she was fucking someone else was one thing; seeing their faces would tip me over the fucking edge. And beating them to death in a fit of jealous rage wouldn’t do either of us any favours. But no matter how much I denied my feelings for her, I was jealous. That’s why I locked down my emotions, except that denial has never stopped me from caring. Fuck, when I’d found her sleeping outside one night, or perhaps she’d passed out, I didn’t know, I’d picked her up and carried her inside, making sure she had water and some headache pills for when she woke up, I’d had to leave. It was that, or give in to the urge to wrap her in my arms and demand she tell me what was going on in her head, why she was intent on destroying herself.
Worrying about her welfare didn’t mean I had any right to interfere. So I’d never talked to her about her behaviour. Living with her wasn’t fucking easy at the best of times, but denying our potential bond was driving me crazy. My wolf was constantly in a pissy mood, and it had become more and more difficult to rein in my temper, not to mention my possessive Fae side. Most of the time, I swung between wanting to fuck her senseless and claim her so no one else could ever touch her or hurt her again, including herself, and telling Connor to send someone else to watch over Ava and Shannon so I could distance myself even more. Several times I’d wanted to return to the compound in Scotland and resume my position as Connor’s third in command.
I bounded up the ornate staircase, my fingers drifting over the smooth blue wood. She was messing with my head enough that I couldn't think straight anymore. I’d even tried to forget about her by hooking up with a gorgeous female who flirted with me at the Beta challenge match, but fucking another woman left me cold. Rather than a pleasurable afterglow, all I’d felt was empty. And my wolf had felt the same. I was an Alpha, and I needed that physical relief, but since we’d been in Hope, I’d found it bordering on impossible to find room in my head for anyone but Shannon. She consumed my thoughts even when I didn’t want her to.
Mother fucking wolf, just the thought of her kissing someone else made me want to punch the godsdamned wall. And I knew she wouldn’t stop hurting herself. No amount of trust or freedom would kill whatever demons haunted her. She’d continue to drown them in a fog of alcohol and sex. Helping her fight them was on me. The time for pushing her away was done. She needed help whether she knew it or not, and no matter how hard she resisted, I wouldn’t give up on her. I intended to push back hard until she understood her worth. I was done ignoring her implosion. I just hoped I could stay off my father’s radar long enough to help her or we were both fucked. I swore under my breath. It didn’t matter; she was worth the risk.
I jogged up the smaller, winding staircase towards Shannon’s temporary accommodation, hoping that she hadn’t been sick again. Shit, what if she’d choked on her own vomit? Heart racing, I leapt up the rest of the stairs two at a time. I should have checked on her earlier or, at the least, asked the staff to….
My wolf rumbled at the thought of letting any Fae in the room with her while she wasn’t at full strength. The Fae were clever fuckers, and a shifter with their human-based blood was always a target. Given the chance, they would manipulate her into saying her real name before she even registered what they were doing, especially with a hangover from hell.
Real names gave the more powerful of our race control over another being. Shifters and humans were a precious commodity in this world. Their minds were easy to control, and when aroused, their pheromones made the Fae wild with lust. No way were they taking Shannon from me and forcing her into the underground sex trafficking rings that went on in Faery.
I leapt up the last three stairs in one go, hating that I felt even remotely guilty for leaving her alone when I’d sat by her bed all night, only sleeping for minutes at a time. Time in Faery moved slower than in the human realm. It was still measured in days, hours, even minutes, but it had only been overnight in Faery since we arrived, and Shannon had passed out after throwing her guts up. It had been far longer back on Earth, which was why I was in a hurry to get back. My brother needed me, and missing a fight with the Mades wasn’t happening. Those fuckers needed to burn in the Hell Connor and Ember had once escaped and give us all a damned break.
Taking a deep breath, I reached for the handle of the elaborately carved door. My stomach clenched. I was desperate to open it and prove to myself that Shan was okay and in one piece, yet at the same time, I wanted to leave it locked. If she was in that room, she couldn’t tumble those we loved into another shit storm by her carelessness, nor could she continue on her path of self-destruction.
Trapping the bundle of clothes between my forearm and chest, I pulled a key from my pocket. I had no illusions about Shannon. She’d run the first chance she got, and no matter how pissed off I was with her, that wasn’t happening. Breaking down the barriers that kept her from facing her demons was my priority. Escaping me just wasn’t an option. She wasn’t stupid; she’d have worked that much out but wouldn’t accept it yet.
It was hard to see Shannon, a highly trained SBI agent, so vulnerable. She was an addict. Even being a shifter hadn’t saved her from alcoholism. Now, she was weak and underfed, not to mention who the fuck knew what was going on in her head. It was up to me to keep her safe.
The door opened silently as I pushed it inwards. Before I could open my mouth to speak, something sailed past my head and smashed into smithereens against the door frame. Only my quick reflexes to duck saved my skull.
“You fucker! Let me out of here!”
Crystal shards covered the carpet, sticking up threateningly from the thick pile. I eyed Shannon’s bare feet, where they peeked out from under the bottom of the sheet she’d wrapped around herself. Hiding my irritation that she’d put herself in danger again, I calmly closed the door and faced her wrath. I was surprised she hadn’t jumped me and tried to break my neck as soon as I walked in. That was more like the Shannon I knew.
I tilted my head and studied her wan features. No, this wasn’t that person. At least, not right now. She looked exhausted—and hungover. I wondered how long she’d been consuming so much alcohol that not even her shifter metabolism could clean it from her blood. It was unlikely it was only since we’d been in Hope.
My eyes fixated on the rise and fall of her chest under the sheet. “You’re naked.” I almost rolled my eyes at my stupid statement. I’d never been any good at saying what I meant, which was another reason I usually swallowed my words until I thought about what to say. Usually. It was only when my brain was so full of thoughts that words slipped out without context. Like now.
“Only because you took my damned clothes away, you knob! Why is that, Stoney? Hm? Did it give you a kick to strip me when I couldn’t protest? Are you really that desperate to get me naked?”
I ground my molars to keep from losing my temper. Instead of allowing her to turn this into a full-on verbal slanging match, I tilted my head and growled. “Sit down.” And pointed at the bed.
Her top lip curled. “Fuck you!”
“Like I said before, not a chance. Now sit down before you get glass in your feet.”
For a moment, she looked confused. “W-what? What glass?”
It was as if she’d totally forgotten she’d just tried to smash the heavy crystal vase off my head. I tried not to react. How could she not remember? “The glass. You don’t have any shoes on. And I’m not letting you cut your feet to ribbons simply because you’re too damned stubborn to listen.”
Her gaze flew from the broken glass back to my face. “I’m not stubborn!”
Slowly counting to ten didn’t help my irritation settle or ease the tension building in my temples, but it did stop me from throwing her over my knee and smacking her arse like I really wanted to. My cock twitched beneath the confines of my jeans. I’d lost count of how many times I thought about doing just that over the years I’d known her. My mind was littered with fantasy images of Shannon’s buttocks pink and glowing from my attention. I coughed, getting to eight before I was under control enough to calmly raise a brow, cross my arms over my chest, and wait.
My gaze speared hers. It didn’t take long for her to look down. That and the angry flush on her cheeks only made the blood flow south even harder, but I ignored my reaction. If I was going to smack Shannon’s delectable backside, she’d have to ask for it first. But now wasn’t the time for that kind of punishment or those kinds of thoughts. That if was so far down the line, it was a speck of dust on the horizon, and I wasn’t convinced we’d ever reach it.
“Fine.” She plonked herself on the edge of the bed, grabbing onto the sheet hard enough her knuckles turned white.
The big bed swallowed her small frame, the sheet drowning her. Had she always been that small? With her shoulders slumped and her bones trying to stick through her skin, she looked…fragile. My nostrils flared. That wasn’t a term I’d ever have associated with Shannon. I didn’t like it.
Her eyes landed on the clothes I’d trapped against my body.
“Are those mine?”
“No, yours were covered in vomit and booze after you chucked up over both of us. So I binned them. These are from the armoury store.”
Her throat worked as she absorbed that piece of information. “Fine. Pass them over, then.”
Both my brows flicked up at her entitled tone. “I think the word you’re looking for is please. I’m not your fucking servant, Shannon. Remember that, or you’ll be walking out of here without any clothes at all. That sheet will go, too. It doesn’t belong to you. Nothing here does. Not even your freedom. That belongs to me. So, you’ll do exactly as I say when I say it, or I’ll make sure you’re locked away where you can’t hurt another soul.”
Her mouth flattened, and I could see her fight with herself over holding her tongue. I waited. Perhaps it would be better to leave her here…
“Please.” That word was a ground-out whisper that I wasn’t really sure I heard.
I peered down at her, but she kept her eyes averted, another flush working up her neck and face. My eyes narrowed. She clearly hated asking for anything. Demanding was all she ever did.
She cleared her throat. “Please, can I have my clothes?”
“Yes, but they aren’t yours. They belong to B’nar, so you will take care of them and return them to the armoury clean, laundered, and in good condition. Understood?”
She bit her bottom lip, understanding my sub-text of no alcohol-induced vomiting, and nodded. I handed her the clothes, then, before she could walk over the shards and damage her feet because I had no doubt she wasn’t aware of them anymore, I swung her into my arms and strode into the bathroom. By the time she realised what I’d done, she was standing in front of the shower. I spoke before she could even think about complaining about me picking her up. “You’ve got ten minutes to shower and dress.”
Her head snapped up, hope seeping into her expression and making me wonder if I’d misjudged her lack of guilt about Ava.
“We’re going back to Hope? Oh, gods, have they found her?”
“Yes, and yes. You’re coming back with me, but our arrangement stands even if Ava is found unharmed. You’ll be returning here with me.”
“What? No way! I’m not answering to you, you arrogant prick, and I’m definitely not coming back here! I’m an SBI agent the same as you….”
“No, Shannon, you are not. What you are is an addict.”
Instant fury blazed in her eyes. “I am not!”
I stepped straight into her space and glared down into those flashing brown orbs. Her breath hitched, and she clutched the sheet tighter.
“Yes, you are. You chase oblivion, whether through sex or alcohol. And if you don’t admit that and help me help you, you will end up getting one of your colleagues or friends killed. And that means you will die. Because as much as Connor loves you, he has to uphold shifter law. Killing or causing the death of a King’s Sentinel is punishable by death.” My voice dropped to a growl. “Is that it, Shannon? Do you want to die? Because if you do, I can shift right now, and not even your training will be able to stop me from ending your life, and you know it. So either do what the fuck I say, or I’ll leave you locked up in this castle, and you’ll not see Ava again, or the child she carries, until you are no longer a threat to them. Do you understand?” I got up in her face. “We’re in the middle of a fucking vampire war, and I will not let you put all of the people I love—my brothers, my pack—at risk because you want to get shit-faced on rose water and vodka rather than face your fucking demons.”
The blood drained from her face. “Y-you wouldn’t lock me up and leave me…You wouldn’t. Y-you’re my…friend.”
I curled my lip, leaning down to stare into her face, not ready to dissect the fear that being locked up clearly brought her. I’d never noticed it before. Then again, we’d all been prisoners. Perhaps, with her state of mind, she had flashbacks. As much as I wanted to ask her about it, now wasn’t the time. “I’m not your fucking friend. I never have been, and you know it. But what we are doesn’t matter because if you kill or hurt the people who love us both, I’ll be the one Connor orders to kill you. Because there’s no way he could do it himself, and Owen is in Scotland. Right now, you have a chance. Don’t fuck it up.”
I hated the words coming out of my mouth, but they were true. I didn’t want to be the one ordered to execute her if she messed up, and as much as Connor loved her, he was in the middle of a violent war that needed all his attention. If the Mades got wind that one of his inner circle was vulnerable, she’d be exploited. They’d already bitten the last Alpha of Hope, and we were all waiting to see if he developed the Blood Lust virus that would turn him into one of the most dangerous killing machines in the world. A creature, part werewolf and untamed vampire would have to be put down like a rabid dog. And if it happened to Shane, it could happen to Shannon, and there was no way I’d allow that.
Yet, she needed to acknowledge how low she’d sunk to stand even a remote chance of fighting the fucking monsters in her head. Only then would she be strong enough to fight the very real monsters trying to destroy our world. Faery wasn’t my home, not anymore. Earth was. And we were a necessary part of its survival. And, while Connor did need me, Shannon needed me more. He knew it and ordered me to get her away from danger. He also knew that I’d take her somewhere she was safe, where she had the space to think and to fight her demons without the pressure of being a Shadow Sentinel.
I kept my face blank, though I was weary enough to want to rub the stinging tiredness from my eyes while waiting for her reaction. She’d either give up entirely or tell me to go fuck myself and smack me in the face to prove I was wrong. My heart sank when tears lined her eyes, disbelief shining in them. I clenched my jaw. I wanted to tell her I was so much more than a friend, even if I didn’t know what. But the words wouldn’t come because, even if I managed to help Shannon, there was a high possibility we wouldn’t work as lovers—or mates. We were too similar. Too stubborn and dominant to find harmony. I kicked that thought aside. “Ten minutes. I’ll wait in the bedroom.”